gastric discomfort/distension .

i think i know what the dream was tryna say, the part where i was falling off the pole.

"wrong time to be nadhie", because it was the time where i needed help, but nadhie had chosen not to have any friends.

and the fact tht i was helping to paint the ite. if i dont pick myself up now, i'm really gg to screw up my o levels. altho it's been eons since education had been the last thing on my mind.

and if i dont start gg out to film more shit, i'm just gg to remain an AVSSSer for the rest of my life.

o how i love walking, i think i wanna go to the zoo again someday, on my own. a solitary escapade. how i wish i have enough stamina to walk the country someday.

i lack backbone. in more ways than one.

hmmm, as you can see i dont have much to say right now.

i forgot to mention, during the dream i had last night/this morning, the first dream i had abt D-cube. when i was running away from him, i was really running.

like, ive never ran like tht before. i didnt stop, and i was fast. i rmb him shouting behind me, "wow, you're running really fast! wait, i just wanna talk to you!"

and the classroom scene, there was another part where we were asked to take out our holiday homework. and then the teacha said, "if those who were supposed to pass the absentees didnt pass, please pass them now."

and then everyone was chucking pieces of worksheets in my face. damn, i loved tht part. damn cute.

yes, bits and pieces will always come one by one when trying to rmb dreams.

i have got medicine for "gastric discomfort/distension" . think i shall bring it to sch tmrw.

sabrina tagged us in a clique photo from 2010. it hurts to know tht she still has hope for me, when i've alr made up my mind to leave them. part of me wants to stay with them, but then again, who is this 'me' ?

can i ask you smth ?

why are people so heartless?

isit cause they lost it? their heart, i mean. tht's why they're heartless, i guess. maybe.

i hate the fact tht here i am ruining my own life when there he is, gg on with his, so damn unaware of the pain he caused me. God. kill him alr .

then again, he's still the most handsome boy i've ever met.

tho he fucked me up real bad.

but i still love him.

i hate him .

i love him.