you.

i don't know what is going on. but you know i trust you with all my heart and soul. it's not that i'm dependent on you; i'm just trusting that you'd be by my side the whole time. you said so yourself.

i thought i was special to have seen you cry. i thought you were special for having been brave enough to cry.

you taught me many things. here i was, oblivious to the knowledge that the rest of the world has, blind to the fact that the younger twin isn't the only one who can teach me valuable lessons.

you showed me that. you proved it, and your hand was the only one which i'd allowed to touch me when i was drowning myself underwater. you were the only one who had the strength to pull me up to my feet, no matter how hard i resisted. and not only metaphorically, but physically too.

you had given me the confidence i'd lacked all these years. i had allowed you to pull my hair back, where you smiled into my face and whispered for me not to waste this gorgeous face.

each time i had my hair up, i would think to myself about how proud you'd be if you were around.

i worry about your well-being, and when mine isn't good, i desire running into your arms just to cry out everything that's on my mind.

the last time i'd went through all these, was during my days with the younger twin.

it's not that i'm in love with you. in fact i'm still a little shaky from the whole ordeal with that boy, that i don't dare fall in love with anyone anymore. i'm not in love with you. and i most certainly hope i am not denying it the way i had with him.

i just care for you. the night you'd cried. i wanted to protect you with all that i have. i didn't want to leave you the way the people in your life had, the way the people in my life had.

really. i don't know what is going on.

but i hope you come back soon. i await your return, and the stories you'd have with you.

in the meantime, your hoodie is still with me.