well then.
i dont rmb any dreams right now. i notice tht i seem to always forget my dreams on sch days. i'd be like o i rmb last night's dream, and then i'd get up of bed and be like dadadoo and a few mins later, my whole memory would be wiped out.
and then sometime later in the day i would be getting very strong but brief signals. yes, strong but brief signals.
started on Kill You Last today! guess what, the notebook which i had been listing the books i've been reading has been filled up by one whole page alr, heh.
first period was p.e., i almost died running. the side of my body suddenly ached at one point, i have no idea why cause i never had tht pain while i was running before. it ached like hell sia!
next was chemy, i failed the freaking test and i aint surprised, truth be told.
.....burazi heru. i dont wanna blog abt my sch days anymore. one, because the last time i did this, i was a happy E'indah who was with the love of her life. two, because sch just sucks.
yeah , sch sucks. the only reason i go is because i dont wanna fight with anyone. (and by anyone i am specifically referring to these someones, this woman and this man.)
i've been losing focus, indeed i am. i'm damn tired. have lost my source of solace.
tadi recess sempat tidor sekejap . gerek sey, sedaaaap .
i hate how i wanna type rice on my phone and out comes shad instead, what's more in capital letters. bloody hell. here i am wanting to tell natalee "i love rice!" and out comes "i love SHAD!"
God. kill me alr. i dont need to be reminded of the source of my pain.
chey.
anyways, i just told natalee abt my dropping art. she's uber shocked, and now i'm like i'm sorry i didnt tell you earlier, i didnt want you to follow in the wrong footsteps.
i have got lots of explaining to do.
and yeah, i love rice.
am damn restless. if only i'd lived in the 1980s or maybe somewhere before tht instead, and be living in a kampong and running around with neighbours. wow, gerek la itu macam. no screwed up societies.
what century are we in right now? 20th or 21st? in any case the time we are living in now is fucked. damn fucked. owning iphone at age 9, watching porn at age 10, giving virginity at age 12, getting married at 15, killing someone at age 16.... bloody hell .
ah, holy shit. this topic is bringing me back to the conversation i was having with the D-cube back aft grad night.
aaaaaannnd lo and behold, i am now suddenly an angry girl . bloody hell .
what's so bloody abt hell ? fire doesnt make humans bleed, right?? just burns or some other shit, right?
i wanna borrow the second emily the strange book. saw it at tamp lib.
and i want a pair of fingerless leather gloves. wrister girl had wanted to get those for her god-brother's 16th birthday, and E'indah had wanted to get those for the love of her life's 17th.
nadhie wanna get those for herself cause she wants to grip handlebars without having to hurt her hands.
nadhie wanna get those for the body she's borrowing.
imagine if the twins' house was on fire and i happened to be on my stress walks nearby. everyone who lives there is out alr, except for the youngest son.
imagine, me running into the heat cause i wanna save the douchebag. and then when i managed to get him and am running out with him over my shoulders, the fire melts my contacts .
chey. eh but i can really carry him ok .
o, and then my contacts melt. then when he's outside with his family and still alive, there i am with my palms over my eyes.
"call the ambulance! call the ambulance! she's gg blind! e'indah!!!!! beeeeeee!!!"
1. she got what she wanted, to go blind. so she doesnt have to see ghosts anymore.
2. she saved the love of her life's life.
okaaaay i really should be a writer when i grow up.
you know how some ppl make use of their heartbreaks to write hit songs? maybe i should do the same, but in the form of a book. hell yeah , let's write a book abt the D-cube.
no names mentioned of course. should make it super anonymous. maybe even say it's fiction. and then at the beginning the preface would be some shit like, "only the truth and lies were used in making this book".
the Wrister girl doesnt know shut up.
cause she keeps quiet on her own accord without anyone telling her to.
E'indah doesnt know how to shut up.
cause she's very annoying and loves to irritate others and make others laugh.
Nadhie doesnt know when to shut up.
cause she's noisy one sec, quiet the next.
i think .
so nicholas and i have been really close lately. now tht you mentioned it, how did we get so close suddenly? the other time i saw him in january, we were like dadadoo and hey wazzap man. now we're like bro sis i'll take care of ya. aww.
you know aye, ytd, i noticed tht two ppl i see everyday were not at their usual spots.
before my mia week aft the cheering comp, i always see this mcrider sleeping on the couch at the cc, and this man who would read newspaper at the corner table on the outside of mac.
i see them everyday. i had wanted to blog abt them, but then some D-cube left me behind and made me so damn unbothered to even turn on my comp.
so anyway, i see these two ppl everyday when i'm walking to the bus stop in the morning. at the usual spot. i had wanted to blog abt whether they notice me like how i notice them.
right now, i can only blog abt how i noticed them not there. both of them . two mornings in a row alr. it seems strange, for some reason, altho they are just strangers.
o well. they'll be back in their usual spots by tmrw morn, i hope.
i no longer see the kid who reminds me of jeremy, i saw him everyday at the bus stop last time. i thought he was younger than me til my first day of sec 3, when i saw him again and he was wearing long pants alr. so i was like, o okay he's like, the same age as me.
and i guess he was from the express stream since i no longer see him .
so here i am uploading another AVSSS and i'm like WOAH! the rate is faaaast. it's been only, like, 10 mins? and 41% has alr been uploaded.
holy firetruck, it's fast. this is amazing.
so. when am i gonna film shit for re:the world calling, you ask? maybe aft i have gotten over my fear. or maybe aft i revert back to normal and those ghosts of mine dont exist anymore. or maybe if he comes back .
and now i am listening to a song called Blu by the one and only There For Tomorrow, the only song in the world which can make you think of your previous boyfriend and the love of your life at the same time when you're finally with the latter.
you should listen to it, maika's voice is amazing, o bloody hell .
i felt a hand warming deeper under. it always makes me wonder was it you?
i met somebody else. oh, the pressure i fell under.
it felt an awful lot like it was you.
was it you who caught my attention? was it you who showed your face anywhere but here?
it means a lot. i kinda deciphered its meaning some time ago, when D-cube and i havent been tgt for even a month yet.
oh, the pressure i am under.
i think i know why the uploading speed is alluring today! maybe cause im not in the usual place tht i sit at whenever i'm on the comp. i think so .
i'm scaling half the ocean, burying your name, but i find the seas are frozen, aft coming all this way.
ya lor, douchebag.
just like how you pressed the button and then jaywalked and made all the cars stop even when there aint anyone crossing alr.
fourteen years of sorrow.
he gave one to two of bliss.
left her in the narrow,
aft giving one last kiss.
and more than a year ago it had been sixteen months of sorrow.
she got three to four of bliss.
he left her in the narrow
aft sharing their first kiss.
yeah, bloody hell. yeah, D-cube.
holy firetruck, this is one long post. isnt it? started blogging two hours ago, and have been just, writing and writing and writing. and, uhm, typing. yeah , typing.
what ya gonna do when the whiskey aint workin no more, huh? huh huh huh?
Hinder asked.
o gosh i am so bored....
where had i been a year ago?
20th march 2011.... hmm... o i rmb, went to shushan's house. was supposed to meet muzzy malek aft tht but i got lazy. 19th march, went to art science musuem with the art peeps. 18th march, idr.
17th, went to sch to do art. 16th, too. with pearl . 15th, went to bedok with mom and naz to meet grandpa for his 80th birthday.
so this thing with dates. it's kinda cool really, but the thing is, now every little number you see will remind you tht, all you had are all gone now.
i also dont rmb how i had gotten to like the number 109. smth to do with ryan i think. ryan teow. had thought of this number eons before i met the D-cube.
holy shit, cepatnyer. the viddie has been uploaded yaw.
there we go, enjoy. i'm too lazy to explain what it means, but you should get the idea of it roughly.the first segment's the memories of E'indah. and the god-bro.
and then we move on to the wrister girl's , all tht she went thru and put up with when she was with the mki.
i love the pic at 2:46 . hahahahhaha , so sexy.
damn. i am bored.
october 2010. E'indah transforming into the wrister girl alr.
tht douchebag was selling his little sister to buy a girlfriend with the money .
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