First reason is simple. Im sure you remember me mentioning that i wasnt allowed to go for Grad Nite cos of my conduct grade. My home tutor had said that i was invited last min on one condition: help out with the preparation and all that. Kinda like a CWO. I said okay.
But nobody called me and asked me to help out and shit, like tell me how to report to help out and blablabla, you know? And then just recently after my exams ended, i was told that mr syafie said i was the one who didnt look for him.
Okay fine so maybe i should have but how was i supposed to know? I didnt see him much when i was in school for my exams.
So that's one.
Another reason is because Shushan said she and Priscilla aint going, which caused Asleah to not go too, cos the rest of their clique had already decided to skip it. I would be comfortable if they were there, namely these three and Farizah and Sabrina because, well yeah. I'd be more comfortable sitting with them.
Being with the other classmates... Not so much. Dont get me wrong, i love them like hell. But nah. Thinking about it, i wouldnt want to be there with them. Id be awkward. Super awkward.
Another reason is my scars. Enough said i suppose. I've no idea how to cover them up when im dressing up. I saw a sweet long sleeved dress some time back but it was really expensive.
Even if i do manage to hide them somehow, it doesnt help my self esteem in any way. Id still feel ugly. And that is not a nice feeling to have on my graduation night. I dont need that reminder of how my last year of secondary school had went.
So there we go. Silly little reasons every step of the way.
Im not sure what my plans for this evening would be. I was supposed to go on a date with Haikal Doodle cos we already had that idea in September. But he cancelled it because he was "broke" and had "work".
The thing which pissed me off most was how he didnt have the thought to say it earlier. I had to go to him excited abt it and shit before he was like "hey listen can we not go" blablabla stupid excuses blablabla.
I had TPRawkz today too. But forget that, already. Now im probably just gonna go to the airport and write in my diary or read my Chicken Soup. Oh, and get chocolate ice cream. Maybe look for a job too while im at it.
So yes. An awesome start to the week. An awesome end to my stupid secondary school life.
I shall blog about my weekend tonight.
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