The last milk tooth.

i have a loose tooth; my last baby one. when mom dragged me to get braces about four years ago, i was relieved when the dentist said i couldn't get those cause i still had one more baby tooth. or milk tooth, whatever.

it started getting shaky around mid 2011, but til now it hasn't fully dropped off. eventually i decided to take it as a "symbol" of my "immaturity"; that it will never fall off until i learn how to grow up.

that's why i've been avoiding the dentist since last year. because i'm still slowly taking steps to become someone more "mature", someone stronger.

i suppose everyone has their own sort of last milk tooth. sometimes you use your tongue to dig at it, trying to loosen it, only to cause your tongue to become numb and tired.

cause you can't force it out that easily, like how it's so difficult to forget and move on. although you do try again and again, digging at it, but it will never drop off. you loosen it a little more everyday, but the day it fully drops off is hard to tell.

sometimes food gets stuck underneath and your breath gets really bad. like how you still allow something that was pleasant in the past, but chewed up now, remain in your life.

people may think about it especially if they got too near to you. they may decide to stay away from you or stay with you, knowing you could get rid of it by brushing your teeth.

you can't put on braces til this last milk tooth drops off, and an adult tooth grows in its place. like how you can't move on unless you let go. like how you have to get rid of the past to make space for the future.

am i making sense? i hope so. because i think this is very important, to me at least. i really use it as a symbol of immaturity, a symbol of something i should have let go of a long time ago.

until the day it drops off, i'm going to keep loosening it every day. not only physically but metaphorically as well.

that aside, i love my teeth no matter how crooked they are. i don't want to get braces, though i wouldn't mind if my two front ones are a little smaller. but there's no way to get that done i suppose, so fuck that.

and yes, i think guys with imperfect teeth are really cute (;