EW27

Disclaimer: please read this series of posts starting from EW29, then backwards.

Some people are hard to forget and some are not. This one is the latter, because it didn't take much for me to realise how shitty this person was, how stupid our relationship was. Any sudden thought of either still makes me cringe, and I wish it never happened at all.

He is the one I called Ghost with a capital G, the very definition of 'fuck boy' that everyone was warned about but still fell for anyway. In others he was like you, laughing at my sarcasm and charming me with the little things like kissing the side of my head when we embraced. The only difference was it was just an act on his part. He wasn't loyal like you.

I have to remind you about this relationship from four years ago in order to draw the bigger picture. It took me a while to understand, but it was the harm from this person, and everyone affiliated with him, that made me wish you had stayed. I put all the blame on you, for leaving and making me mix with these people, for eventually coming back but not staying again.

August, I was the one who abandoned him when I chose to go back to you. I remember the show he put up for me here, his face so broken with an underlying anger. I finally walked away and met you on the platform where you were waiting. I had a bad cough and you asked me to drink water but I didn't want to, being in an MRT station. You pointed at my mom's water bottle that I was using and said, Abih angkat air tu buat apa?

But that didn't last, because a week later you decided not to be with me again. And that was when you became a bird that picks a caterpillar up to heights just to drop it, the wind that comes and goes whenever it pleases. That was when you became Hurricane 'Aamir.

I went back to that poser right afterwards, with his band bracelets and piercings and the fringe covering his eyes. For a period of time I, having been blinded, religiously got up early just to travel here where his house is. He skipped school so we could spend time using each other to let go of our own outside parties: you, and his lust.

September came. We've already talked about our crossing paths, again and again. Your best friend called out to me and I didn't see you until later, but even then it was only in the distance. We never made eye contact, I didn't look at you long enough to remember what colour you were even wearing. But you remember, because I was in the striped sweater I wore on our very first date.

What I would do to be back in Boon Lay, holding a pink water bottle in one hand and yours in the other. What I would do to be back walking to his house, only to change my mind and retrace my steps and wait for you instead.