EW20

Disclaimer: please read this series of posts starting from EW29, then backwards.

It was never a big deal working at Ben and Jerry's for me, but for some reason whenever I told someone I worked part-time there, they'll go into disbelief. Excitement almost. What's the big deal? It's just ice-cream. You could just as easily get it from supermarkets.

I'd applied with the one I called Ghost, but every time the schedule came out I dreaded to see his name beneath mine. We had to sit through orientation together, when you were almost part of my life again. Fading, giving blue ticks to my slew of messages. Another one of your departures, caused by a blog post I wrote about him.

Truth be told I hated working there. With comrades that knew what they were doing and had little patience for a newbie, to managers that pit blame on me just because the manager's son mentioned not wanting to work with me. I didn't want to stay there much longer, despite all the benefits.

Late December 2014, you followed me down in your checkered shirt, when they made us play Secret Santa and I had to drop off my present. We took the train around, hands no longer shy to hold. I didn't even bother saying hi to anyone, just strolled in, dropped the gift and walked back out. Nobody noticed me, or if they did, I didn't work there long enough for recognition.

I didn't have to say that I wanted to quit. I faded away, and at some point the manager removed me from the Facebook group.

I hated Commonwealth and route 105 because of an ice-cream store, but I managed to escape, the last time visiting here being yet another restart of our relationship. We don't have any memory here at this station, apart from the self-loathe and loneliness that came from wishing you never left.