Your arrival against the cold and I forget how to shudder
A smile, and I can't help letting a breath escape my teeth
Every inch of you steals my air I can't breathe
July, your eyes locked on me in interest and wonder
Glaring eyes beneath the long hair bring a shudder
A smile, and your breath escapes through your teeth
Travel across and steal all my air that I can't breathe
February, my hands around your waist in possession
So much pain and trouble threatening separation
Your patience, you have entrusted me half your heart
The way you look at me, like I am a work of art
August, your hands around my waist in possession
Arms tight around me before every separation
A laugh, and aware that I've gotten half your heart
Admiring and gentle caressing like a work of art
March, your eyes devouring me in curiosity
Fingers in mine, wanting to grasp everything about me
An intake of breath, like it's always the first time we meet
You possess all my heart, you give it reason to beat
September, your lips devouring me in curiosity
Fingertips light as feathers, tingling every inch of me
A sigh of pleasure, before and after our lips meet
You possess all my heart, it forgets how to beat
April, your growing arms protecting my fingers
Long after you go, your scent memorised it lingers
A snore, as you sleep with your mouth open to your chest
I imagine a future, because I love you to that extent
October, your skin outlined beneath my fingers
Long after you go, your scent memorised it lingers
A snore, as you fall asleep against my chest
I imagine a future, because I love you to that extent
May, your heels stay rooted to the cold floor
Refusing to go, banging non-stop on my door
A slap across the face, screaming for you to leave
Your constant attention despite all the pain and grief
November, your heels turning away on the floor
Change of lock and key, beginning to close the door
A wave, a premonition that you are taking your leave
Shock comes after shock, no strength left to grieve
Wind, you come and you go as you please
When you come in you sweep me up with ease
I am in oblivion, hanging around your shoulders
You are enough to break all ice and boulders
Ghost, you shut me in and out as you please
When you pull me into your world I am at ease
But your eyes long for something over my shoulders
You are here but built around you are ice and boulders
____
The thing with the wind, back in 2013, was how he just wanted to love everything inside me, from the things I like to the things that scare me. How I'd tried again and again to shut him out, but he always stayed outside the walls I built, trying to coax me into letting him in.
How he isn't here for me all the time, but when he is, you'd just appreciate every second of him existing.
On the other hand, with the ghost in 2014, it's how he just saw me, wanted me, got me, left me, you know those cliche shit. He'd shut me out, not letting me understand him, and when I think he is finally letting me in, he has found something else that he wants, thus his eyes over my shoulders.
How he says he is here for me, and he may be, but he isn't here wholly.
Blah blah bullshit whatever, I've been so stressed out with problems about these two, I don't know how else to let it out without going into cock and bull stories. Okay done.
By the way, this right-text and left-text format posts, I have no idea what to call them. They're usually done when comparing past and present and they're not usually in poem form, but I don't know what to name them. Perhaps just transition-type writing. Okay.
And just to say this, I miss the wind so much right now, and I'm in deep remorse for having disappointed him. I hope there'd come a day when you'd forget everything that is happening right now, because call me silly for saying this but I can't imagine anyone else being God's match made for me.
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