before we rewind in time, i'd like you, my readers, to read these following tweets.
and just as you have guessed, i am writing this post as defence against these words. not just my elder brother's, but also the reply from his follower, and whatever it is that his other followers are already thinking of about me.
it's probably too late by now, or maybe his followers would never ever read this [duh], but i dont care. i am gonna write my side of the story, and i wont just lay down and let this scumbag tweet like that. such a hypocrite!
back to December, 2012.
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i had woken up to the banging on my door, still with my red contacts on and unshowered from the day before. i had fallen asleep straight upon reaching my bed at 10 in the morning, after a night of staying awake with my classmates at the class chalet.
it was my dad. i looked at the clock; just a little past noon. i knew what was coming, but i opened the door anyway, and still got the shock of my life.
my dad swung his hand across my face, and before i could even move back my head after having it tossed aside by the impact, he hit me with a few more blows til i was pleading for him to stop.
he got emotional on me, spilling his heart out, but he should have realised by then that i was barely listening. was i on the floor or on the bed, i dont remember. but i was clutching my stomach and tears and snot were all over my face and whatever surface it had been lying on.
i could hear the television humming. my elder brother was there, and at certain points of my confrontation with my dad, i saw my brother walk past my room, or slam his bedroom door closed.
yup. my elder brother was there as our father beat the shit out of me. and when dad told me to pack my stuff and get out, my elder brother was there lying down, watching television.
Naqib E'zuwan was watching television as his little sister was getting beaten and eventually forced out of the house. sorry, there just isnt any other subtle way to put it.
and to fuel things further, the television is aligned with my bedroom door. my bedroom is right next to the hall, the closest room to the living room space. my brother obviously saw and heard everything.
i left the house with only two things in my head; Pewdiepie's words that kept me going, and the realisation that my elder brother is nothing but a fucking coward.
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how many times have i written about this ever since it happened? i'm guessing about thrice. but who cares? all that matters is, [following suit the reply to my brother's tweet above] i did not run away. i got forced out. kicked out. halau.
the full story as to why he kicked me out and why i just followed his orders: click here. it's a bit lengthy but take your time if you ever decide to read it. i'm sure you know my name; and what comes after the name is always the story. that's mine.
back to my elder brother's tweets. "i don't even know where she is"? really bro? is there anywhere else i'd be if not our grandma's place? and it's not like your parents don't know shit. you could ask them.
and i've been there to visit our little brother a few times to take things from my room. you could have asked bro. but you never even held any conversation with me. i was like a stranger. i was like a random classmate from your brother's class that you didnt really need to bother with.
it's not like you never saw me. you were there right in my path as i was walking out of my room. when was that? that was about two months ago. i had been gone for quite some time already. but you never seemed to give a shit about how i was doing.
there's also something called Twitter, bro. it's not like my name is something unexpected that you can never think of right? my Twitter username is @_109th, but it's not like you can't search for my accompanying name right? my bloody Twitter name is E'indah Nadhirah, for fuck's sake. was that so hard? "i don't even know how to contact her" bro? seriously? i don't think you're that stupid.
and bro. about a month or so after i got kicked out [i emphasise i got kicked out; i didnt run away] i wrote you a letter. i spilled my heart to you. i was closer to our little brother but he wouldnt understand and he was young. so i thought that you being the adult brother, would understand the misery of his kid sister. after all, you were once in this rebellious stage too.
i slipped it under your bedroom door when you were locked inside. if you hadnt seen that piece of paper in the midst of your simple bedroom i dont even know what to say. oh and i even left my bloody phone number and blog address at the end of the letter. i think that's enough regarding the contact argument huh?
i have another argument though. you were the one who has always been cutting me off. this brings me back to the days when i was filling in application forms for my admission to poly. fine, it was my fault that i only started doing it in the wee hours of the day after its deadline, but nevermind.
my aunt and uncle were helping me, and we really needed my parents' and brothers' IC numbers. it was 1 in the morning, and my little brother didnt answer. he was probably asleep.
but you? i went into your Twitter profile and saw that you had tweeted literally a minute ago. my aunt called you non stop but you never answered. but you were still tweeting! how irritating was that, you tell me!?
i couldnt mention you because you blocked me on Twitter. see? you did know how to find me. i had to use my boyfriend's account to tweet to you to call me. and then what did you do afterwards? you blocked his fucking Twitter account too!
i have no better words to describe you other than "scumbag", and "hypocrite". yes, i do stalk your Twitter occasionally because why the fuck not? at least i bothered to see how you were doing.
you? you dare tweet about wondering of my whereabouts and shit but you never made the effort to find out. i don't think you'd care less about me. you're just saying shit about family for the sake of doing so.
with all this said and done, i dont really care if people still think highly of you, your followers especially. i just wish that when i publish this post, its tweet will be retweeted til most of the society reads this.
i've long had enough of being your little sister. i've had enough of being called "Naqib's little sister" all my life. when the hell would i be looked at as "E'indah Nadhirah"? for fuck sake, you're fucking Twitter famous. i barely have 200 followers, most of which are stupid troll accounts.
i know i'm on a different level from you and that i'm so fucking different from you but what the fuck? i hate how everyone is gonna judge me based on your tweets. you may have tweeted only about 10 or 20 tweets about me but by then most of your followers would have already thought wrongly of me.
and me? i tweet every other day about how much of a scumbag you are, and i write posts about you turning into an asshole, but my writing never gets recognised. more people on your side because more people know you. ugh, it just pisses me off!
i've sidetracked a little havent i. it's okay. i'm done for now. i still think he's a coward, and a hypocrite. i'd add in more stories fueling this, but it's okay. i don't think the faggots of society would ever be bothered to read this post to the end.
if you did, though, thank you for reading though it's nothing but anger. i'm just pissed off, and also a little sad.
and one more thing. this is the only time i ever get to speak up against my brother. because in real life, he'd never give me the chance to speak. he'd just beat me if he was pissed. so i'm glad i managed to get this out, and i dont give a fuck if he gets angry that many people read this. not my fault that its link got retweeted right?
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