the story of the unusual ghost.

school's been dismissed, and i'm walking down the stairs having a conversation with jia yao about things regarding clique and douchebag. by the time we reach ground level i walk ahead, and i am halfway down the little stairs by the main gate when i see one of The Boy's ghosts.

i am about to disregard it like i do the rest, but wait! there're some strange things about this ghost. details that makes him the most special of all the ghosts of him i've seen before this.

first of all, i don't remember any memories of The Boy at the spot where he is standing at. next, he seems to be in communication with the human next to him, my classmate Amalina. last of all, the reason this ghost is unusual, is because, it is not a ghost.

it's the Real Deal.

holy firetruck! i can feel the whole world stopping its revolution right now. i look at my classmate, who is staring at me from her spot next to the love of my life. i find the strength to mouth, though with pauses in between: "who is that?"

she just looks at me for a second, and i'm afraid if The Boy turns around. i don't want to see his face.

he doesn't. instead, my classmate mouths back his name.

i find myself turning away, back up the stairs, hoping he wouldn't turn and see me. i push through the juniors walking my way, making my way back to the canteen. i hear jia yao's voice. i run to him.

"jia yao! jia yao!" i call. i try to keep my voice stable, but i can feel it breaking halfway through my next sentence, "he's at the bus stop, the douchebag's at the bus stop!"

i start crying, and tears are sliding down my cheeks, more gathering in my eyes. i manage a laugh, but it is so weak that it makes my voice croak more. i give up and continue crying til rayner has to give me all the tissues he has left.

he goes to the direction where the bus stop is, along with wei liat. jia yao stands here beside me, not knowing what to do. i am shivering. my knees tremble, so i try to keep them steady. i fail.

i cover my face and try my best to stop the tears. i resume more awkward laughs which still turn back to ugly croaks.

yao wei and jia yao make a plan. they suggest i walk along with them, right in the middle acting like big shots and pass him by. they tell me to point the finger at him as well.

as we walk pass the canteen, i hear faiz's voice yelling my name. i turn, and he says: "make sure you point both!" and points both of his middle fingers, as if making sure i would know exactly how to do it.

wei liat comes along and exclaims, "i join from behind, i support you!" and here we are, walking the tiny zebra crossing that leads us back to the little staircase by the main gate. the Aran boys chat as per normal, the usual perk and volume while i shiver from the excitement/nervousness.

what if he runs away?
what if they go over and talk to him?
what if he ignores them if they do?
what if he ignores them and comes straight at me?
what if he slaps my face?
what if they bash him up?
what if he bash them up?
what if i bash him up?
why is he here of all places?
why is he here of all times?
why must he be here of all people?

a million questions run through my head, but the only one that can be answered is not one of them: "what if he's not there anymore?"

because he isn't.