Mason.

had heard this song when i was at vivo the other week.never would have thought that it's cascada. (this song is not on par with the theme of this post)

so today, i hadn't made way for the ghosts when they were in my way. in fact, the road was damn spacious but i purposely went their way, and through The Boy's. he just continued talking, disregarding me like i was with him.

bastard.

why is it the heart that feels the love, and the forlorn? why toss all the joy and pain onto this little thing that's already got the job of pumping blood into other parts of the body?

I NEED A BREAK.

i need to go for a run, without mercy nor caring about my lack of stamina, or cycle and hit the front brakes so i'd be thrown onto the road. i really need to get sense knocked into me, literally.

i need one more shot of pain, physical, to get over this. once, when the Douchebag had left me right after having shared our first kiss, i had kept wishing that he had beaten me up instead of leaving without a word.

do i need him to beat the crap out of me right now? yes. or not, i'd just kill him first.

had completed Mason, that book is damn sadist. i shall let the sadisty engulf me the way heartbreak had.

idk why i am like this. i am so damn sick and tired of having mixed feelings. i hope this hate lingers, i hope the love doesn't conquer it again, on and off, the way it had always done the past years.

Will. Courage. Effort. Patience. Hope.
my 5 most important values in life. they'd work for everything, even for hating someone.

so damn. sick. and tired. this life is a game, and i am running out of health points. i can't find those little things that gives HP when you break crates or whatever shit. just running with the infinity shotgun.

the weapon's all i've got.

and that's what life is all about.