Better Late Than Never.

gastric pains had came at 4 in the morning, and the very first person i had texted was 'Irfan noorhalim, practically begging him to listen to what i have to say asap.

the pain increasingly got unbearable, and for a cheem reason i ended up texting everyone a "Help." i couldn't stop crying and i was curled into a ball looking really pathetic.

hadnt wanted to go to school, but my parents had to come along and beat the shit out of me just because they dont believe that i was sick.

walked all the way to school, making it just a little after humans started, i think. phone was receiving lots of texts but hadn't replied any of them, and then mrs sherri had to keep asking me questions when i had no mood to talk at all.

she called me after class and asked what happened and whether i was unwell so i managed a nod and she felt my forehead. damn, when had been the last time someone did that? couldn't help it so i cried.

when sabrina passed me the bracelet during mother tongue, it made me cry more.

during recess, was making my way to the gym when i heard yao wei calling me to join them eat, but i was like no appetite and just made my way to the gym. was feeling damn sleepy so straightway lied down to sleep.

that was when i kept crying non-stop, like really non-stop. and i couldnt stop whining either, literally making those pathetic little sounds. took out the bracelet and ring from around my neck and stared at them both, just crying and sobbing and calling.

was falling asleep when i heard some voices, laughing and coming nearer. i jerked awake and sat straight, and there were some guys from 4/2 by the gym door looking at me laughing away. i was like What, never seen a human sleep before? bloody hell.

so anyway, had walked home after school cause i hadnt wanted to wait for the bus at the crowded bus stop, but i was afraid of bumping into The Boy if i took bus from central. so i ended up walking all the way home from school.

and damn it hurts, my head was throbbing and i see them ghosts everywhere.

had a nap, woke up feeling like i just went on a roller coaster for some reason, but i couldnt remember my dreams. went to tamp and bought myself a notebook with "Better Late Than Never" on its cover.

and that is why i still have hope for his coming back.