at times like these, i'd usually be at 500A.

i'm reminiscing. and it's very painful, but i cant help it. in fact, i WANT to go thru those times. i know i once told you tht what's past is past and tht we shouldnt waste our present thinking of it. but, just This once. let me lose my pride here.

of course, i haven't surrendered to YOU. i wouldn't want to go on my knees in front of you. right now, by wanting to bring back the past, i am losing to myself. yes, i'm a loser. but so what? at least i have not begged YOU to come back.

i'm out of my mind.
but only in my presence. when others are around, i act all superior, high and mighty and pretend i dont care. it's not because i'm afraid my friends would worry for me. it's my pride, once again.

when im alone, i break down. i cry when i'm by a place we were at once. i sniff and sob at the fact tht you left me for another girl. i wallow in self-pity , because i blamed everyone for the state tht i was in.

idk, i think i have said enough for tonight.