there was a cockroach in my room last night. straightway dashed out and took the bloody penyapu lidi. good thing i had it by my bedroom door (superstition) but by the time i got to it, the little bastard had gotten to a hiding place.
nazriq killed it in the end, tht was funny shit! i was laughing like fuck. and then, continued chatting with irshad on the comp.
we both fell asleep in fronta our comps!!! all i rmb was closing my eyes for a sec, and then i woke up to texts from irshad saying he fell asleep in fronta the comp. i did too, my comp battery died, i fell asleep on all the wires =_=
well, it was stupid of us, but still funny la. hehe. and then, i realized tht i totally forgot abt sch. so yeah, ended up missing last day of sch. and then i kept thinking it's saturday today.
the afternoon was good. curled up on the couch in shad's hoodie, munching on chicken curry paos while watching dvd with nazriq. we watched Banlieue 13:Ultimatum. damn nice, i loved it! although i didnt watch the first movie, my bro told me this was the sequel.
played a few rounds of resident evil 5 aft tht, and then around 7 plus went tamp with nazriq and mommy. bought mordern warfare 3! and then i bought a notebook :3
went century sq, otw there i saw a man running with a bouquet in his hands. i pointed him out to my bro and said, ayo he's late for his date. my bro laughed like shit sia, bloody hell !
i ate prawns :3 and then we went ntuc to buy random stuff, i bought MnMs for shady, and then my bro said a woman bumped into him and didnt say sorry. i called out "oy!" to her. then i looked back at MnMs.
my bro said the woman turned and stared at him. he was so scared to look there aft tht, and when we were paying,the woman was standing at the exit with her arms folded and staring at our area. pointed her out to my bro, he got so bloody the scared !
in my mind i was like, she might be waiting for someone la. but i just wanted to make naz feel damn scared :3
blah3, then im home. wrote in my new notebook, wrote abt 11/11/11. and now chatting with my shady and getting addicted to the soundtrack of banlieue 13.
i think i'm in a week-long dream.
yesh i still cant believe tht irshad noorhalim is really mine :3
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
today was another great day ^_^ see, it always is. every new day is always awesome. at the end of the day we say the day was our happiest so far, but it's only cos we've not met with tmrw and all tht comes aft tmrw.
well anyway, let us talk abt the today tht we had !
couldnt really come to sch actually, but i was awake the whole night, so i was like k might as well go to sch. but in the midst of the first period, which was chemy, i started getting headache, and then i got nauseous and all tht crap.
during maths, i answered a riddle correctly and mr bernard lau bought me milo as a reward, heh. ate paos during break, and then i went to persuade sab to go grad night. i was successful! but there was a catch. BUT, i know how to solve it in a way tht everyone is happy (;
had english aft break, where we did group work, very funny shit in mine, which is shushan, rayner and frederick. blah3, aft tht had another 2 periods of maths.aft sch slacked with da girls at the bus stop before gg off to where shad was, and then walked home~
changed , then made our way to central sharing earpiece and cookies. i really liked tht, so best friendly, but yet he is my boyfriend. yes, it really feels great if your boyfriend and best friend are the very same person.
and the song tht was playing was "With Me", Sum 41. my favourite song. the song of my 15th bday. ^_^ the song has smth to do with irshad as well btw !
at central we split, i went to buy the food while he went to buy da bubble tea, met back and made our way to sea shell park! so much memories. went to sit under the pavillion tht we always climbed onto in the past, and had our lunch :3
i feel very happy being fed by him sey, hehe! and i liked kissing him with With Me playing on the earpiece. yes, With Me played a lot today. set on repeat!
talked abt many more randoms as always, then made our way down, running down the stairs, tht was fun and funny! the bus came on time, made our way to elias to go clinic cos i was feverish. when it was nearly time for work, it started pouring.
jaywalked in the rain, i really liked tht a lot! i saw the way shad ran, damn bloody the cute sia haha! i was like laughing to myself while running across the road for the shelter tht the bus stop was. tht was fun sia!
yes. i really missed all those times. i dont like it when one cares a little tad too much for me. i needa have my fun too. getting the fever is the fun part too. gotta understand tht i'm still young and tht i wanna get into trouble a lot first ok? yes, im talking to you.
well, at work, chatted with azreenie and farhan upon arrival. they were concerned when i told them abt how i wasnt feeling well, so sweet sey. hehe. then i chatted with the attachment guy awhile before azreenie came along my station again.
she saw me clutch my little red notebook and was like, "hey what book is tht?" i was like, it's my diary. i answered philosophy shit when she asked me what i wrote inside. she told me to read out some things, so i read out some la.
i was damn touched when she said she really liked what i wrote. i read some more when she asked me to, and she said she really really liked my philosophy shit! tht really made my day. she's the very honest type, she says so if she does or doesnt like smth.
chatted some more, i listened to her whine abt her friends and all tht, and then in the midst she said tht she's really unneeded. gave her some advice, and then at the end of it all she stared at me with this look in her eyes and said tht imma interesting person ^_^
and then she had to go, cos her shift ended at 5. chatted with the attachment guy again til he went off at 530, and then i was alone. occasionally i went to adventure highland to chat with the new guy whose name i did not catch and megaplay to irritate wani.
she lied -.-.-.- ! she and yani and azreenie aint sisters aft all ! i fell for it, hook line and sinker! damn they got me good, bloody hell! haha.
at the end of the day i socialized with a whole lotta new ppl. bena's really nice actually, although when i first saw her she looked really frowny. (but then again tht was most of their first impressions of ME)
i felt so stupid when i clocked out at 21:58 when we werent supposed to. everyone was stnding there waiting for the clock to turn 2200 but i stupidly did what i did. then the guy who's always in the cap said, "wah fierce. you know you aint supposed to clock out til 22:00 you know. tht's why we're all standing here." i was like fff---!
haha, ok, and then i got my pay for this week ^_^
i really am never gonna quit my job. i will pause during o level period, but i dont wanna quit. ever. i like this job. i love my job. in ya face, asshole.
well anyway, let us talk abt the today tht we had !
couldnt really come to sch actually, but i was awake the whole night, so i was like k might as well go to sch. but in the midst of the first period, which was chemy, i started getting headache, and then i got nauseous and all tht crap.
during maths, i answered a riddle correctly and mr bernard lau bought me milo as a reward, heh. ate paos during break, and then i went to persuade sab to go grad night. i was successful! but there was a catch. BUT, i know how to solve it in a way tht everyone is happy (;
had english aft break, where we did group work, very funny shit in mine, which is shushan, rayner and frederick. blah3, aft tht had another 2 periods of maths.aft sch slacked with da girls at the bus stop before gg off to where shad was, and then walked home~
changed , then made our way to central sharing earpiece and cookies. i really liked tht, so best friendly, but yet he is my boyfriend. yes, it really feels great if your boyfriend and best friend are the very same person.
and the song tht was playing was "With Me", Sum 41. my favourite song. the song of my 15th bday. ^_^ the song has smth to do with irshad as well btw !
at central we split, i went to buy the food while he went to buy da bubble tea, met back and made our way to sea shell park! so much memories. went to sit under the pavillion tht we always climbed onto in the past, and had our lunch :3
i feel very happy being fed by him sey, hehe! and i liked kissing him with With Me playing on the earpiece. yes, With Me played a lot today. set on repeat!
talked abt many more randoms as always, then made our way down, running down the stairs, tht was fun and funny! the bus came on time, made our way to elias to go clinic cos i was feverish. when it was nearly time for work, it started pouring.
jaywalked in the rain, i really liked tht a lot! i saw the way shad ran, damn bloody the cute sia haha! i was like laughing to myself while running across the road for the shelter tht the bus stop was. tht was fun sia!
yes. i really missed all those times. i dont like it when one cares a little tad too much for me. i needa have my fun too. getting the fever is the fun part too. gotta understand tht i'm still young and tht i wanna get into trouble a lot first ok? yes, im talking to you.
well, at work, chatted with azreenie and farhan upon arrival. they were concerned when i told them abt how i wasnt feeling well, so sweet sey. hehe. then i chatted with the attachment guy awhile before azreenie came along my station again.
she saw me clutch my little red notebook and was like, "hey what book is tht?" i was like, it's my diary. i answered philosophy shit when she asked me what i wrote inside. she told me to read out some things, so i read out some la.
i was damn touched when she said she really liked what i wrote. i read some more when she asked me to, and she said she really really liked my philosophy shit! tht really made my day. she's the very honest type, she says so if she does or doesnt like smth.
chatted some more, i listened to her whine abt her friends and all tht, and then in the midst she said tht she's really unneeded. gave her some advice, and then at the end of it all she stared at me with this look in her eyes and said tht imma interesting person ^_^
and then she had to go, cos her shift ended at 5. chatted with the attachment guy again til he went off at 530, and then i was alone. occasionally i went to adventure highland to chat with the new guy whose name i did not catch and megaplay to irritate wani.
she lied -.-.-.- ! she and yani and azreenie aint sisters aft all ! i fell for it, hook line and sinker! damn they got me good, bloody hell! haha.
at the end of the day i socialized with a whole lotta new ppl. bena's really nice actually, although when i first saw her she looked really frowny. (but then again tht was most of their first impressions of ME)
i felt so stupid when i clocked out at 21:58 when we werent supposed to. everyone was stnding there waiting for the clock to turn 2200 but i stupidly did what i did. then the guy who's always in the cap said, "wah fierce. you know you aint supposed to clock out til 22:00 you know. tht's why we're all standing here." i was like fff---!
haha, ok, and then i got my pay for this week ^_^
i really am never gonna quit my job. i will pause during o level period, but i dont wanna quit. ever. i like this job. i love my job. in ya face, asshole.
this is the story of a girl.
she had everything. she had parents who loved her, she had a brother who adored her, she had best friends who were always there for her, she had a boyfriend who always held her. she didnt mind the fact tht she was poor and tht her family didnt earn much money.
because, she was rich in terms of love.
and then, one day, it happened.
her father passed on. her brother got married and moved someplace far-off. her best friends slowly left her out one by one. her boyfriend left her for another girl. though she still had her mother, she was devastated tht she lost so many other people. she lost all her riches tht she had.
her mother was never there for her. even when she was, she always beat up her little daughter. her loss changed her, she couldnt accept the fact tht suddenly, all of it was gone. all of the love was gone. her mother's presence was nothing to her.
she ran away from home. she lived for days at a carpark, not tht far from home, and spent the days on the rooftop, looking up at the sky. as the days gone by, the sky got lower and lower. it suddenly seemed so shallow, like as if she could almost touch it.
but she never did touch tht sky.
and she chose to kill herself.
weeks gone by, there was a funeral but not many people attended to it. her friends were there but none cried for her. her brother didnt come cos his wife had never liked her husband's younger sister. her ex boyfriend didnt bother abt it.
her mother's hands trembled.
tht night, her mother dreamt. God told her mother tht He had planned a future for her daughter. God told her mother,
"I had planned for your daughter, to have a future so much more brighter than her present. i had planned for her to go to university and to meet more amazing ppl tht can be more worthy to be considered her friends. i had planned for her to meet an amazing young man tht was gg to love her more than anything else in the world. i had planned for her brother's wife to be in need of her so she would come to the rescue and they would be able to have a better bond. i had planned for her to be able to take care of you in the future.
but it's a pity tht she had to kill herself."
and with tht, her mother woke up in tears.
so my point is, you have a choice. just because things aint gg ur way now, doesnt mean they never will in the future. you just gotta wait. patience is a virtue, and "good things come to those who wait" ...
because, she was rich in terms of love.
and then, one day, it happened.
her father passed on. her brother got married and moved someplace far-off. her best friends slowly left her out one by one. her boyfriend left her for another girl. though she still had her mother, she was devastated tht she lost so many other people. she lost all her riches tht she had.
her mother was never there for her. even when she was, she always beat up her little daughter. her loss changed her, she couldnt accept the fact tht suddenly, all of it was gone. all of the love was gone. her mother's presence was nothing to her.
she ran away from home. she lived for days at a carpark, not tht far from home, and spent the days on the rooftop, looking up at the sky. as the days gone by, the sky got lower and lower. it suddenly seemed so shallow, like as if she could almost touch it.
but she never did touch tht sky.
and she chose to kill herself.
weeks gone by, there was a funeral but not many people attended to it. her friends were there but none cried for her. her brother didnt come cos his wife had never liked her husband's younger sister. her ex boyfriend didnt bother abt it.
her mother's hands trembled.
tht night, her mother dreamt. God told her mother tht He had planned a future for her daughter. God told her mother,
"I had planned for your daughter, to have a future so much more brighter than her present. i had planned for her to go to university and to meet more amazing ppl tht can be more worthy to be considered her friends. i had planned for her to meet an amazing young man tht was gg to love her more than anything else in the world. i had planned for her brother's wife to be in need of her so she would come to the rescue and they would be able to have a better bond. i had planned for her to be able to take care of you in the future.
but it's a pity tht she had to kill herself."
and with tht, her mother woke up in tears.
so my point is, you have a choice. just because things aint gg ur way now, doesnt mean they never will in the future. you just gotta wait. patience is a virtue, and "good things come to those who wait" ...
Wednesday, November 09, 2011
IMMA NINJA
this is damn unfair.
amirah dota MY daughter sia. i intro-ed her and khairul , meaning they were like father-daughter only aft we were mother-daughter. then now she removed me from being her mother like why! i bet he's been talking abt me to her uh!
i know it makes me look silly to be making a big fuss over this. but still , damn sad uh. cos i loved her a lot sey. more than khairul liked her sia, i bet. it's like the father won custody over the child just cos he's got money or smth? wtf ?
nvm la. new boyfriend, new family i guess.
so well anyways! it is a wonderful morning so far! i ate a lot earlier, and i just finished my shower ^_^ but i aint in sch cos woke up with a horrible sore throat and i was like feverish. so i woke my mom up and was like, mummy i dont wanna go sch. then she was like, ok later i bring ya to clinic so i was like ok!
irshad finished reading my oct 2010! he spent the morning getting damn engrossed in it, he has no idea how happy it makes me, tht he's willing to read abt my past :3
o hear ye hear ye, my adik is home. i'm getting kinda hungry again, maybe i should go over and ask him if he wanna be my lunch buddy.
.....................he said no.
bloody hell, his friends more important than his sister.
i really hope tht the thing tht happened with my older bro wont happen with the younger one. i really really hope. i wouldnt wanna be losing brothers to outsiders, like wth? this is just one reason why i dont want the time to go on. cos i dont want ppl to grow old.
my parents will pass on when they're old. my brothers will be damn busy with their careers/families when they are grown ups. i know i would be busy with mine too, but i know i'd still make time for them. havent i always, despite being the one who took national exams this year.?
yeah k nvm. natalee has been rather depressed these few days. she's been saying nobody cares abt her. she's so damn wrong, i care for her sey. i really do. although i dont understand what shes gg thru cos i havent been in her shoes, i can emphatize.
i saw khairul tweet abt not coming for grad night aft all. i feel relieved, cos i wouldnt wanna see his face. ive not seen it for like two weeks alr, and yes i can live with tht. in fact, a reason why i wanna go ite is maybe just cos i dont wanna see him for tht one year more.
yes, it is a stupid reason. and the reason of wanting to be with irshad at ite is also a moronic excuse, i guess. soooo ok, i'll go to sec 5.
wow ive been jumping from one topic to another. lets jump some more.
ants have been crawling all over my desk these days. no, not days, but its been happening for quite some time alr. ive tried to follow where they go but they appear to be lost all the time. so i gave up and just live with them, no matter how annoying.
o but ive got smth fascinating to share! i left shad's brownie container on the coffee table in my room, and when i did, there were many crumbs in it. but this morning there's only one left, cool kan? meaning the ants carried them crumbs. to where, idk.
im actually damn irritated and disgusted knowing tht somewhere in my room, there is a whole army of ants doing their thing, marching around and stuff. i really wonder where ants come from. the other time, a long time ago, i was walking across the hallway eating cheese cake.
i dropped a bit, and went off to my room awhile. when i got back, there was a freaking ant party feasting on tht little drop of cheesecake like woah!
and i have a little secret, i like it when ants are gathered tgt in one little group, as if discussing smth. i like it when i blow at them and they all scatter aimlessly immediately. if i could see the looks on their faces while they were crawling away, tht'd be great!
yes... this is all me.
amirah dota MY daughter sia. i intro-ed her and khairul , meaning they were like father-daughter only aft we were mother-daughter. then now she removed me from being her mother like why! i bet he's been talking abt me to her uh!
i know it makes me look silly to be making a big fuss over this. but still , damn sad uh. cos i loved her a lot sey. more than khairul liked her sia, i bet. it's like the father won custody over the child just cos he's got money or smth? wtf ?
nvm la. new boyfriend, new family i guess.
so well anyways! it is a wonderful morning so far! i ate a lot earlier, and i just finished my shower ^_^ but i aint in sch cos woke up with a horrible sore throat and i was like feverish. so i woke my mom up and was like, mummy i dont wanna go sch. then she was like, ok later i bring ya to clinic so i was like ok!
irshad finished reading my oct 2010! he spent the morning getting damn engrossed in it, he has no idea how happy it makes me, tht he's willing to read abt my past :3
o hear ye hear ye, my adik is home. i'm getting kinda hungry again, maybe i should go over and ask him if he wanna be my lunch buddy.
.....................he said no.
bloody hell, his friends more important than his sister.
i really hope tht the thing tht happened with my older bro wont happen with the younger one. i really really hope. i wouldnt wanna be losing brothers to outsiders, like wth? this is just one reason why i dont want the time to go on. cos i dont want ppl to grow old.
my parents will pass on when they're old. my brothers will be damn busy with their careers/families when they are grown ups. i know i would be busy with mine too, but i know i'd still make time for them. havent i always, despite being the one who took national exams this year.?
yeah k nvm. natalee has been rather depressed these few days. she's been saying nobody cares abt her. she's so damn wrong, i care for her sey. i really do. although i dont understand what shes gg thru cos i havent been in her shoes, i can emphatize.
i saw khairul tweet abt not coming for grad night aft all. i feel relieved, cos i wouldnt wanna see his face. ive not seen it for like two weeks alr, and yes i can live with tht. in fact, a reason why i wanna go ite is maybe just cos i dont wanna see him for tht one year more.
yes, it is a stupid reason. and the reason of wanting to be with irshad at ite is also a moronic excuse, i guess. soooo ok, i'll go to sec 5.
wow ive been jumping from one topic to another. lets jump some more.
ants have been crawling all over my desk these days. no, not days, but its been happening for quite some time alr. ive tried to follow where they go but they appear to be lost all the time. so i gave up and just live with them, no matter how annoying.
o but ive got smth fascinating to share! i left shad's brownie container on the coffee table in my room, and when i did, there were many crumbs in it. but this morning there's only one left, cool kan? meaning the ants carried them crumbs. to where, idk.
im actually damn irritated and disgusted knowing tht somewhere in my room, there is a whole army of ants doing their thing, marching around and stuff. i really wonder where ants come from. the other time, a long time ago, i was walking across the hallway eating cheese cake.
i dropped a bit, and went off to my room awhile. when i got back, there was a freaking ant party feasting on tht little drop of cheesecake like woah!
and i have a little secret, i like it when ants are gathered tgt in one little group, as if discussing smth. i like it when i blow at them and they all scatter aimlessly immediately. if i could see the looks on their faces while they were crawling away, tht'd be great!
yes... this is all me.
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
walked a lot today! with irshad. hehe. i feel so damn free, i really love walking. how could tht guy forbade me from gg walks, and how could i have obeyed him!?
k well anyway. he fetched me from home and walked with me to sch, otw, saw sab, then aft we split i joined her walk the remaining way to sch. surprisingly we werent late, in fact the canteen was still bustling with human life, so blah3 went to second floor to our respective classrooms.
first we had english, and then we had maths, where i fell asleep halfway. was seriously damn sleepy sia, and then during break, ate. ate a lot! ate paos! ^_^
had english again aft tht, was made to stand cos i slept in class. o and i got my kafka back! quite saddened a little tht it was somehow in ruins though. o well. last two periods were chemistry, where we all slacked as always.
no ah, we didnt really slack. we did do our practical shit, just tht we modified the rules a little, those little bastards haha. and we were all playing with the distilled water! irshad's hoodie got wet ))))))))))':
then then then, walked outta sch when we were dismissed, walk with a buncha 4/2 ppl, damn i will really really miss all the kids next year... slacked at bus stop with the girls awhile, made plans to go grad night shopping !
sooo it's settled ! monday, 14th nov, we all go to far east plaza. hooray!
parted aft everything was confirmed, then i met up with irshad and we walked back to my place. he looked at me run around in my house, preparing to go out again cos was gonna see my schedule to see if i was working today or not. well either way i was still gonna slack with him uh.
walked back to dte, bought cup walker on the way. even though it's almost been a week, it's still hard to believe tht this man is mine. talked abt many many random stuff as always, then went to see my schedule. hooray, had no work today!
so went rooftop to slack. hahaha, had an awesome time as always. he makes me laugh like shit, so yeah had an awesome time, i loved the looking into each other's eyes. it really makes me so damn happy tht irshad is mine!
sooo yeah, then bought prawns for botha us while he went to the toilet. when he came back, i asked him he went to the toilet for what. i like his tone when he answered, "to pee lah!" hahaha, funny!
walked home eating them prawns, damn hot! scalded my tongue and eyes were watering cos so hot! so yeah, walked back all the way home, bumped into relatives otw, cos they sent my cousin off to NS ):
oct 2010 diary is with irshad right now. he read aloud the first kiss entry to me on webcam earlier, so he still hasnt read the sad parts i guess. oh wait, nov 2010 is when the shit gets totally saddening. hehe, cant wait to lend him tht one.
wellllll he's like waiting for this post to be up right now. so here we go!
and this da very first pic we took tgt as a couple xD the last time we took pics was when he came over for raya, but for some reason faris hasnt uploaded the shit, so yeah.
and another thing tht made my day is the fact tht all 8 of us has agreed to go shopping tgt on monday! ALL EIGHT OF US. it really makes me happy like fuck i tell ya. i hope nobody backs out. i hope i dont back out. alright!
i really miss them all so much ^_^
k well anyway. he fetched me from home and walked with me to sch, otw, saw sab, then aft we split i joined her walk the remaining way to sch. surprisingly we werent late, in fact the canteen was still bustling with human life, so blah3 went to second floor to our respective classrooms.
first we had english, and then we had maths, where i fell asleep halfway. was seriously damn sleepy sia, and then during break, ate. ate a lot! ate paos! ^_^
had english again aft tht, was made to stand cos i slept in class. o and i got my kafka back! quite saddened a little tht it was somehow in ruins though. o well. last two periods were chemistry, where we all slacked as always.
no ah, we didnt really slack. we did do our practical shit, just tht we modified the rules a little, those little bastards haha. and we were all playing with the distilled water! irshad's hoodie got wet ))))))))))':
then then then, walked outta sch when we were dismissed, walk with a buncha 4/2 ppl, damn i will really really miss all the kids next year... slacked at bus stop with the girls awhile, made plans to go grad night shopping !
sooo it's settled ! monday, 14th nov, we all go to far east plaza. hooray!
parted aft everything was confirmed, then i met up with irshad and we walked back to my place. he looked at me run around in my house, preparing to go out again cos was gonna see my schedule to see if i was working today or not. well either way i was still gonna slack with him uh.
walked back to dte, bought cup walker on the way. even though it's almost been a week, it's still hard to believe tht this man is mine. talked abt many many random stuff as always, then went to see my schedule. hooray, had no work today!
so went rooftop to slack. hahaha, had an awesome time as always. he makes me laugh like shit, so yeah had an awesome time, i loved the looking into each other's eyes. it really makes me so damn happy tht irshad is mine!
sooo yeah, then bought prawns for botha us while he went to the toilet. when he came back, i asked him he went to the toilet for what. i like his tone when he answered, "to pee lah!" hahaha, funny!
walked home eating them prawns, damn hot! scalded my tongue and eyes were watering cos so hot! so yeah, walked back all the way home, bumped into relatives otw, cos they sent my cousin off to NS ):
oct 2010 diary is with irshad right now. he read aloud the first kiss entry to me on webcam earlier, so he still hasnt read the sad parts i guess. oh wait, nov 2010 is when the shit gets totally saddening. hehe, cant wait to lend him tht one.
wellllll he's like waiting for this post to be up right now. so here we go!
and this da very first pic we took tgt as a couple xD the last time we took pics was when he came over for raya, but for some reason faris hasnt uploaded the shit, so yeah.
and another thing tht made my day is the fact tht all 8 of us has agreed to go shopping tgt on monday! ALL EIGHT OF US. it really makes me happy like fuck i tell ya. i hope nobody backs out. i hope i dont back out. alright!
i really miss them all so much ^_^
Monday, November 07, 2011
let's have a little talk ^_^
he's damn different. suddenly, he and i have so much shit in common. the things i loved from back then, he loves now. i bought him a tee more than a year ago, and he's always wearing tht tee the most of all his tees.
he remembers tht i used to love earrings a lot. tht i love prawns, peanut butter ice cream, the number 109, butterflies, just all the random little things.
i know you guys will say tht he's just making use of me and all tht shit. but somehow, somehow no he's not. i can tell tht he's not. i've looked into his eyes. somehow... his feelings are real, i can really tell...
tht time, when i was slacking at gym with asleah and siying. we were talking abt khairul . i said to them, "i love him more than i loved irshad." truth be told, aft i said tht, i felt a chill run thru my spine, like as if my body was scared of telling a lie.
but then siying said, "tht's good. tht's really very good." like she really really cared for me. teros, irshad totally vanished.
i always showed an interest in his and his ex's relationship. like, asleah always randomly updated me abt their status, and then one day she told me tht they were having problems. i asked a lot, disguised my concern as kpo-ness. and a few days later she said they were ok again, i was damn relieved.
cos, i cared. i cared for his happiness. for some reason.
tht reason, was most probz cos i still loved him. i still had feelings for him. then when khairul forbade me from having any contact with him, i couldnt understand why. i just obeyed but in my head, i was always wondering why .
truth be told, when he and the rest came over for raya, i kept standing near him. the rest were sitting on the couches while he sat at the dining table with his twin, and i kept standing in between although under the circumstances i would have stood in the middle of where the majority of the guests were at.
okay, i also dk why im talking abt all this nw. uhm, imma go off now.
but these are just little confessions.
he remembers tht i used to love earrings a lot. tht i love prawns, peanut butter ice cream, the number 109, butterflies, just all the random little things.
i know you guys will say tht he's just making use of me and all tht shit. but somehow, somehow no he's not. i can tell tht he's not. i've looked into his eyes. somehow... his feelings are real, i can really tell...
tht time, when i was slacking at gym with asleah and siying. we were talking abt khairul . i said to them, "i love him more than i loved irshad." truth be told, aft i said tht, i felt a chill run thru my spine, like as if my body was scared of telling a lie.
but then siying said, "tht's good. tht's really very good." like she really really cared for me. teros, irshad totally vanished.
i always showed an interest in his and his ex's relationship. like, asleah always randomly updated me abt their status, and then one day she told me tht they were having problems. i asked a lot, disguised my concern as kpo-ness. and a few days later she said they were ok again, i was damn relieved.
cos, i cared. i cared for his happiness. for some reason.
tht reason, was most probz cos i still loved him. i still had feelings for him. then when khairul forbade me from having any contact with him, i couldnt understand why. i just obeyed but in my head, i was always wondering why .
truth be told, when he and the rest came over for raya, i kept standing near him. the rest were sitting on the couches while he sat at the dining table with his twin, and i kept standing in between although under the circumstances i would have stood in the middle of where the majority of the guests were at.
okay, i also dk why im talking abt all this nw. uhm, imma go off now.
but these are just little confessions.
Sunday, November 06, 2011
i still dont believe it. it still feels like a dream. so much like a dream.
when i saw you at the mrt station , i thought it was coincidence. but then i remembered, we WERE supposed to meet. we planned to go slack tgt, it wasnt just a bumped-into-each-other. suddenly it felt like those times, it felt like as if i was your best friend and that we had always slacked tgt.
yeah, you're right... it felt so natural! walking to prp , like last time. the same route we walked whenever we slack as siblings. and when we passed by the place tht we had our first kiss, i was wondering if you were gonna say anything abt it. i was kinda disappointed when you didnt.
we updated each other on our lives. we talked abt our exes and the problems they gave us. we talked abt all the stuff abt life. and you remembered so many things! i was kinda touched when you told me you rmb little things, all the random memories.
you said you always got flashbacks, always thought of me randomly, like so sweet uh. yes, i believe every word of it.
hm. i stop here uh, sleepy uh =.= wanna sleep first!
when i saw you at the mrt station , i thought it was coincidence. but then i remembered, we WERE supposed to meet. we planned to go slack tgt, it wasnt just a bumped-into-each-other. suddenly it felt like those times, it felt like as if i was your best friend and that we had always slacked tgt.
yeah, you're right... it felt so natural! walking to prp , like last time. the same route we walked whenever we slack as siblings. and when we passed by the place tht we had our first kiss, i was wondering if you were gonna say anything abt it. i was kinda disappointed when you didnt.
we updated each other on our lives. we talked abt our exes and the problems they gave us. we talked abt all the stuff abt life. and you remembered so many things! i was kinda touched when you told me you rmb little things, all the random memories.
you said you always got flashbacks, always thought of me randomly, like so sweet uh. yes, i believe every word of it.
hm. i stop here uh, sleepy uh =.= wanna sleep first!
tears of joy.
a 5 mins nap became 14 new messages and 3 missed calls. fell asleep for way too long and irshad spammed me, trying to wake me up. i got pissed at myself but he kept smiling to himself so i couldnt help but feel happy as well.
breakwater/water breaker? sat at one riiiight at the end (well almost) and talked as always. yes, i really really enjoy talking with him. his words, whatever he says, always have me thinking.
when it got darker, we kept each other close, under the sky. although there were clouds, the moon was still as bright as ever and there were aeroplane lights flashing in the distance. only could hear the waves and his heartbeat. oh cool, waves and his heartbeat. aquaheartbeat la sia! k lame.
as it got later and later, we started talking abt his coming back. he said he left twice, he came back twice, but this time he aint gonna leave. and then he embraced me again, and i started crying.
bloody hell, i really cried sia! my shoulders were shaking and my throat hurt. irshad was like, "tears of joy?" i nodded my head off but i was still crying my eyeballs off =.= all the while, i was just repeating to myself, "he came back. he came back. he came back."
i refused to look at shad's face but in the end he managed to kiss me. kinda embarrassing when he used his hand to wipe the snot off from under my nose -_-
aaahhhh pure bliss. tht was the most amazing night of my life. i cried for you. in front of you. i've never done both of tht at once for a guy before! i must admit, i enjoyed the crying. tears of joy indeed ! i'm so glad you came back..
i dont think i ever stopped loving you. even when i was with khairul , i still had feelings for you, most probz. i did love him, but probably never as much as i loved you all along. SOB! BLOODY HELL! YOU REALLY CAME BACK SIA! YOU'RE REALLY MINE NOW!!!! SOB!!!! AAAHH!!! ALHAMDULLILAH!! YOU CAME BACK.....!!!!
i love you so much. i love you... irshad, i love you so damn much... i'm glad you came back... T.T
oh, and your brownies are damn addicting. imma bake you some in return very very soon!
breakwater/water breaker? sat at one riiiight at the end (well almost) and talked as always. yes, i really really enjoy talking with him. his words, whatever he says, always have me thinking.
when it got darker, we kept each other close, under the sky. although there were clouds, the moon was still as bright as ever and there were aeroplane lights flashing in the distance. only could hear the waves and his heartbeat. oh cool, waves and his heartbeat. aquaheartbeat la sia! k lame.
as it got later and later, we started talking abt his coming back. he said he left twice, he came back twice, but this time he aint gonna leave. and then he embraced me again, and i started crying.
bloody hell, i really cried sia! my shoulders were shaking and my throat hurt. irshad was like, "tears of joy?" i nodded my head off but i was still crying my eyeballs off =.= all the while, i was just repeating to myself, "he came back. he came back. he came back."
i refused to look at shad's face but in the end he managed to kiss me. kinda embarrassing when he used his hand to wipe the snot off from under my nose -_-
aaahhhh pure bliss. tht was the most amazing night of my life. i cried for you. in front of you. i've never done both of tht at once for a guy before! i must admit, i enjoyed the crying. tears of joy indeed ! i'm so glad you came back..
i dont think i ever stopped loving you. even when i was with khairul , i still had feelings for you, most probz. i did love him, but probably never as much as i loved you all along. SOB! BLOODY HELL! YOU REALLY CAME BACK SIA! YOU'RE REALLY MINE NOW!!!! SOB!!!! AAAHH!!! ALHAMDULLILAH!! YOU CAME BACK.....!!!!
i love you so much. i love you... irshad, i love you so damn much... i'm glad you came back... T.T
oh, and your brownies are damn addicting. imma bake you some in return very very soon!
Friday, November 04, 2011
today was a long day! i went sch! see? i told you i'd come sch! did practical for chemistry and physics. had four periods of maths today. did matrices, and i got a 100% for the quiz. went comp lab and slacked as always!
aft sch, was walking out of sch when ms junainah was looking for me. talked abt gnv, got damn sad cos she aint gonna use mine for grad night aft all. sad... but it's gonna be put into the cd aper entah.
kk. went home, speed bath, was putting on my shoes when shad arrived, blah3, red and black hoodie too short for him so i just dumped it back at the living room, and then blah3 walked to dte. thts one thing i love abt shad, he doesnt mind walking.
and i like it when he doesnt restrict me from many things tht i was once deprived of.
otw when walking, i nearly fell down, luckily i held his hand sey! if i really fell down funny sia. talked abt our past tgt , abt the time when we were with other ppl, abt philosophy stuff. i love talking with irshad. i always have.
he went to buy coke while i went to the ntuc office to take my pay, and then went to slack awhile til work started. blah3, work started.
found out smth new abt my colleagues. i never knew azreenie and wani were sisters sia, bloody hell! damn stunned when their other sister haryani told me like woah!
today was peak. thus, many many ppl. got damn frustrated with annoying kids and even more annoying parents.for some reason the kids were like damn stubborn today sia. usually talking nicely would be enough, but today i had to raise my voice.
hm, but i really like glaring at the kids. they get so scared and then they just Left my station.
a little before my supposedly break time, i nearly wanted to scream all vulgar at those kids sia. bloody kids. bloody parents -.- walkie-ed to DM saying the situation was getting out of hand and tht i couldnt handle it alone.
but they bloody pushed my break to 630 .
when i finally went for it, irshad was staring at me as i was putting on my shoes, then we went carpark rooftop to slack cos i didnt feel like eating. so long no slack at carpark rooftop with him! was supposed to be back at work by 710, but dragged til 725.
nearing closing time, ran around with farhan (ek dude, not my class one!) , there's still so many things which idk abt EK sia! then went to pick up balls, i damn penakot sia, i stuck with him thru out. tht time when helping jan also, i stayed with her thru out!
they're all really brave ppl . even though there's like so many scary shit tht happened at the place, they still dare to stay there alone. so professional. me? i keep on doa silently even with a colleague right next to me, and i even ask if can stick with them. -_-
then went into the pb room. (pb or bp room ah?) the floor is damn cold. tht's one thing i dislike abt tht room, but i like all the cool buttons and switches in tht room! then hayati showed the light switch for the whole park. damn cool !
once i put on my shoes, teros texted my shady, took bus home, blah3, then im home!
it still feels like a dream you know. me being with irshad... like woah! nono, not just woah, but like WOAH!
ppl are sure to talk if they know abt me being attached . cos its like i just broke with khairul. idk what they would think, they would think of many kinds of stories, but actually the truth is, i dont care what they think.
he was the one all along. he really was The One. i called him The One in those old diaries of mine. and he really is. what a miracle! it's a blessing !
aft sch, was walking out of sch when ms junainah was looking for me. talked abt gnv, got damn sad cos she aint gonna use mine for grad night aft all. sad... but it's gonna be put into the cd aper entah.
kk. went home, speed bath, was putting on my shoes when shad arrived, blah3, red and black hoodie too short for him so i just dumped it back at the living room, and then blah3 walked to dte. thts one thing i love abt shad, he doesnt mind walking.
and i like it when he doesnt restrict me from many things tht i was once deprived of.
otw when walking, i nearly fell down, luckily i held his hand sey! if i really fell down funny sia. talked abt our past tgt , abt the time when we were with other ppl, abt philosophy stuff. i love talking with irshad. i always have.
he went to buy coke while i went to the ntuc office to take my pay, and then went to slack awhile til work started. blah3, work started.
found out smth new abt my colleagues. i never knew azreenie and wani were sisters sia, bloody hell! damn stunned when their other sister haryani told me like woah!
today was peak. thus, many many ppl. got damn frustrated with annoying kids and even more annoying parents.for some reason the kids were like damn stubborn today sia. usually talking nicely would be enough, but today i had to raise my voice.
hm, but i really like glaring at the kids. they get so scared and then they just Left my station.
a little before my supposedly break time, i nearly wanted to scream all vulgar at those kids sia. bloody kids. bloody parents -.- walkie-ed to DM saying the situation was getting out of hand and tht i couldnt handle it alone.
but they bloody pushed my break to 630 .
when i finally went for it, irshad was staring at me as i was putting on my shoes, then we went carpark rooftop to slack cos i didnt feel like eating. so long no slack at carpark rooftop with him! was supposed to be back at work by 710, but dragged til 725.
nearing closing time, ran around with farhan (ek dude, not my class one!) , there's still so many things which idk abt EK sia! then went to pick up balls, i damn penakot sia, i stuck with him thru out. tht time when helping jan also, i stayed with her thru out!
they're all really brave ppl . even though there's like so many scary shit tht happened at the place, they still dare to stay there alone. so professional. me? i keep on doa silently even with a colleague right next to me, and i even ask if can stick with them. -_-
then went into the pb room. (pb or bp room ah?) the floor is damn cold. tht's one thing i dislike abt tht room, but i like all the cool buttons and switches in tht room! then hayati showed the light switch for the whole park. damn cool !
once i put on my shoes, teros texted my shady, took bus home, blah3, then im home!
it still feels like a dream you know. me being with irshad... like woah! nono, not just woah, but like WOAH!
ppl are sure to talk if they know abt me being attached . cos its like i just broke with khairul. idk what they would think, they would think of many kinds of stories, but actually the truth is, i dont care what they think.
he was the one all along. he really was The One. i called him The One in those old diaries of mine. and he really is. what a miracle! it's a blessing !
Thursday, November 03, 2011
explaination for VENUSYS SI YING DARLING
this is what happened.
sooo. like some time ago i spent the day doing things which khairul forbade me from doing. walking alone, in the rain, all tht shit. and one of them was to have contact with irshad noorhalim. so i texted him.
confided all the shit in him. blah3, then ytd he asked me if im still doing my forbidden shit. so i was like yes indeedy i am, and we ended up slacking. and as you all know, i was damn bloody the depressed ytd over all the family shit.
i had nobody. went to guillemard awhile, and everyone was there, my grandmama, my aunt, the cats. but i was still sad ): soo. then in the midst, irshad suddenly texted me. sooo blah3, around 6 met with him.
so we were like walking to prp confiding all the shit into each other, talked abt our exes. and then when we were like sitting on the breakwaters, he put his head on my shoulder. i was like, stress right? he was like yes, then i put my head on his head.
then we started talking abt our sec 3 life, when we were siblings. and then we stared at each other in silence. and we kissed. yes, we kissed. our second kiss tgt, more than a year aft our first.
rmb the time when i asked him for stead, one year ago. he accepted. he took one year, but it was worth the wait. yes. and tht is how we got tgt. cos he was fucking there for me when i was damn bloody depressed !!!!!!!
oh and siying, i love you so much. you have no idea how much i love you, all of you. i am very, very sorry for my effed up shit these few days. okayyy. i dont want get all touchy-feely. you know what i wanna say la huh? *hugs*
sooo. like some time ago i spent the day doing things which khairul forbade me from doing. walking alone, in the rain, all tht shit. and one of them was to have contact with irshad noorhalim. so i texted him.
confided all the shit in him. blah3, then ytd he asked me if im still doing my forbidden shit. so i was like yes indeedy i am, and we ended up slacking. and as you all know, i was damn bloody the depressed ytd over all the family shit.
i had nobody. went to guillemard awhile, and everyone was there, my grandmama, my aunt, the cats. but i was still sad ): soo. then in the midst, irshad suddenly texted me. sooo blah3, around 6 met with him.
so we were like walking to prp confiding all the shit into each other, talked abt our exes. and then when we were like sitting on the breakwaters, he put his head on my shoulder. i was like, stress right? he was like yes, then i put my head on his head.
then we started talking abt our sec 3 life, when we were siblings. and then we stared at each other in silence. and we kissed. yes, we kissed. our second kiss tgt, more than a year aft our first.
rmb the time when i asked him for stead, one year ago. he accepted. he took one year, but it was worth the wait. yes. and tht is how we got tgt. cos he was fucking there for me when i was damn bloody depressed !!!!!!!
oh and siying, i love you so much. you have no idea how much i love you, all of you. i am very, very sorry for my effed up shit these few days. okayyy. i dont want get all touchy-feely. you know what i wanna say la huh? *hugs*
Wednesday, November 02, 2011
it's true.
once he leaves, i would have nothing.
been having lots of family problems these days. they all aint here for me... my parents work too much. they work everyday from morn to night! maybe.. maybe one reason why i dont wanna go sch is cos i can send them off to work. cos, every sch day, i would leave home quietly without seeing any of them...
and you guys know abt my older bro alr. but now, the younger one is saddening me too. he doesnt wanna go out with me, he doesnt wanna play ps3 with me, either cos he lazy, wanna play with his friends or wanna play ps3 with his friends. and he said so himself tht he doesnt wanna spend time with me sia!
and my grandmother's the only one who would always be next to me whenever i am damn sad. why must she move out ?? why did she have to move out???
and my friends... my seven best friends. none of them texted me to ask why i didnt come sch. asleah was so damn despo for her compre only, and siying cant be bothered alr as well. and the rest have been gossiping abt me i heard, like as if they understand what's been gg on with me. they hardly ever talk with me alr. they cant just talk ABT me like tht.
and then there is cousie. yeah i know she's like damn busy with her Os but i made an effort to text her during my Ns to ask how her studies were gg. cos i know she was stressed, i watched her cry and i listened to her whine. why cant she do the same for me..?
not to forget the love of my life. dont wanna talk abt tht one.
sigh. no more. no more. i cant take it no more. guillemard's the only place where i feel loved. my grandmother, my aunt, the cats there. all of them love me to bits. they're the only ones who still love me.. i wanna live there sia. i really wanna live there. i dont wanna live in pasir ris anymore. i dont wanna go sch at prcs anymore. i dont wanna go to family gatherings at my father's side anymore.
no more. no more. no more crying.
my throat hurts... ok. no more crying eindah. dont cry already !!!!!!!!!!
once he leaves, i would have nothing.
been having lots of family problems these days. they all aint here for me... my parents work too much. they work everyday from morn to night! maybe.. maybe one reason why i dont wanna go sch is cos i can send them off to work. cos, every sch day, i would leave home quietly without seeing any of them...
and you guys know abt my older bro alr. but now, the younger one is saddening me too. he doesnt wanna go out with me, he doesnt wanna play ps3 with me, either cos he lazy, wanna play with his friends or wanna play ps3 with his friends. and he said so himself tht he doesnt wanna spend time with me sia!
and my grandmother's the only one who would always be next to me whenever i am damn sad. why must she move out ?? why did she have to move out???
and my friends... my seven best friends. none of them texted me to ask why i didnt come sch. asleah was so damn despo for her compre only, and siying cant be bothered alr as well. and the rest have been gossiping abt me i heard, like as if they understand what's been gg on with me. they hardly ever talk with me alr. they cant just talk ABT me like tht.
and then there is cousie. yeah i know she's like damn busy with her Os but i made an effort to text her during my Ns to ask how her studies were gg. cos i know she was stressed, i watched her cry and i listened to her whine. why cant she do the same for me..?
not to forget the love of my life. dont wanna talk abt tht one.
sigh. no more. no more. i cant take it no more. guillemard's the only place where i feel loved. my grandmother, my aunt, the cats there. all of them love me to bits. they're the only ones who still love me.. i wanna live there sia. i really wanna live there. i dont wanna live in pasir ris anymore. i dont wanna go sch at prcs anymore. i dont wanna go to family gatherings at my father's side anymore.
no more. no more. no more crying.
my throat hurts... ok. no more crying eindah. dont cry already !!!!!!!!!!
Morons.
been skipping bridging for 5 days alr . and ive no mood to study myself at home alr. i know i am being a moron for allowing his leaving to affect me so greatly, but he's also a moron for leaving me at an incorrect time over smth unreasonable!
this is the whole story.
ok. it was over my new job. he says i dont listen to him and tht i dont understand his intentions. he says he worried tht i would fail my Os bcos i would be taking them next year, and he didnt want me to juggle studies and work, cos he doesnt trust tht i would be able to do it.
i understand the shit, i really do. but here's my bloody argument.
they asked me abt it in the interview. they asked me how would i cope with studies and work. so in other words i alr knew abt this problem between studies and work waaay before he mentioned it to me.
when i got the job, i started reading up sec 5 stuffs at around the same time. it was alright sia, i didnt have any stress. and i even went maths tuition. i effing started early sia. wtf do you think i went to bridging for? (i went for the first two days)
and i was also thinking of quitting next year before april around there. the effing Os are next year. he told me to quit one month aft my first day like wtf, does he think it's tht simple? and has it been written in stone tht i would be gg sec 5?
and the job damn slacky sia. all the part timers there always read books on the job, all of us are always carrying books around sia. if we can read, why not study? i sempat write diary also sia.
and does he think tht leaving me would help me in my studies? no it effing doesnt, it makes me feel like shit. and the fact tht he says he doesnt trust me makes me feel more like shit.
i fucking told you a lot sia. cos i expected you to be with me through all the shit. and then suddenly you left me for smth so stupid. smth which ive alr explained my own side of the story and all the shit blah blah blah.
and when you gave me tht chance, you didnt give me enough time to make use of it properly. it's true sia, you're bring unreasonable. but i tell you, i aint gonna give up la sia. bloody hell, fucking "decide on it and see it through" !
-------------------------------
this is the whole story.
ok. it was over my new job. he says i dont listen to him and tht i dont understand his intentions. he says he worried tht i would fail my Os bcos i would be taking them next year, and he didnt want me to juggle studies and work, cos he doesnt trust tht i would be able to do it.
i understand the shit, i really do. but here's my bloody argument.
they asked me abt it in the interview. they asked me how would i cope with studies and work. so in other words i alr knew abt this problem between studies and work waaay before he mentioned it to me.
when i got the job, i started reading up sec 5 stuffs at around the same time. it was alright sia, i didnt have any stress. and i even went maths tuition. i effing started early sia. wtf do you think i went to bridging for? (i went for the first two days)
and i was also thinking of quitting next year before april around there. the effing Os are next year. he told me to quit one month aft my first day like wtf, does he think it's tht simple? and has it been written in stone tht i would be gg sec 5?
and the job damn slacky sia. all the part timers there always read books on the job, all of us are always carrying books around sia. if we can read, why not study? i sempat write diary also sia.
and does he think tht leaving me would help me in my studies? no it effing doesnt, it makes me feel like shit. and the fact tht he says he doesnt trust me makes me feel more like shit.
i fucking told you a lot sia. cos i expected you to be with me through all the shit. and then suddenly you left me for smth so stupid. smth which ive alr explained my own side of the story and all the shit blah blah blah.
and when you gave me tht chance, you didnt give me enough time to make use of it properly. it's true sia, you're bring unreasonable. but i tell you, i aint gonna give up la sia. bloody hell, fucking "decide on it and see it through" !
-------------------------------
Sunday, October 23, 2011
past few days.
hello. was supposed to work today, but smth went wrong with the schedule so im home now. next shift is on tuesday. weeell. let's have a little chat.
past few days have been nuts. first of all, nearly wanted to kill myself on monday. ok, i did want to, but i didnt cos i didnt have the balls. the next day went for a walk, wow tht really awakened me. and then slacked with asleah and siying at the former's house.
i arrived first, and when siying did, the first thing she did was to slap me and shout at me idiot -_- and then aft asleah knew what happened, she said i was stupid and then the both of them were like hitting me calling me idiot -_________-
and then had first day of work on wednesday. ok ive blogged abt wednesday and thursday. thursday evening, i was like sitting at cc from a great height. i liked the feeling, but then khairul said he minded me sitting with my legs dangling. so i quickly got off.
and then, hmm, on friday, slacked with khairul before work. i missed being in his arms.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
ah ha ha ha ha! omg. look at tht. okayy. i am bored. i wanna write in diary now! fyi, diary is for more personal stuff, and for all the stuff tht i think wouldnt make sense to anyone who reads my bloggie. hehe.
past few days have been nuts. first of all, nearly wanted to kill myself on monday. ok, i did want to, but i didnt cos i didnt have the balls. the next day went for a walk, wow tht really awakened me. and then slacked with asleah and siying at the former's house.
i arrived first, and when siying did, the first thing she did was to slap me and shout at me idiot -_- and then aft asleah knew what happened, she said i was stupid and then the both of them were like hitting me calling me idiot -_________-
and then had first day of work on wednesday. ok ive blogged abt wednesday and thursday. thursday evening, i was like sitting at cc from a great height. i liked the feeling, but then khairul said he minded me sitting with my legs dangling. so i quickly got off.
and then, hmm, on friday, slacked with khairul before work. i missed being in his arms.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
ah ha ha ha ha! omg. look at tht. okayy. i am bored. i wanna write in diary now! fyi, diary is for more personal stuff, and for all the stuff tht i think wouldnt make sense to anyone who reads my bloggie. hehe.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
hello! had first day of work ytd. ok not really work, more like training. so far so great. the peeps are a great bunch! there's so many malays. i really dont wanna get myself involved in the gossip, my dm told me there's a lot gg on currently.
weeell. it was only my first day. there's the manager tht everyone is very scared of named jennifer. good thing she was on leave on my first day at EK ytd. aaand my dm hayati says i dont smile enough. she says tht the other part timers said so . great! awesome innit?
okayyy so i shall smile more. yup. like this. (:
i liked the walkie talkie, one day imma use it just To say goodbye when im leaving for work. soo i dont think ive met everyone yet. ive met many, but not all, i dont think so. so far all of them are real nice, esp my trainer and the younger malay girls.
hopefully i dont leave any gossip trail anywhere. soo yeah .
as for today, went to sch cos timothy invited us to watch talent quest. we all spammed faiz zainal cos he was still sleeping when we were all alr in the canteen waiting for him. blah3, went to hall to watch the last few performances for talent quest.
when it was the deepavali one, faiz and zharfan got up to leave, so asleah, hafiz, timothy and i followed behind as well. mr roslan was like, "oh, when deepavali celebrations, all of you want to run away ah, but just Now so despo to come in. next time you guys stay out!" ahhahah.
slacked at jamming room , watching the guys rehearse and all tht. i was recording, i aimed smth like the live sessions of TFT's discovering .
soooooooo. i need to see my khairul . i really do. ive not seen him for days. but it feels like a really long time. when was the last time i saw him? monday. i really really hope i can see him tonight, as i have work tmrw. sigh .
so much shit happened, yes. and i am sorry to all of you. ive written my reflection. and the rest of my feelings shall be in my wonderful red little notebook tht an old best friend of mine got for me.
weeell. it was only my first day. there's the manager tht everyone is very scared of named jennifer. good thing she was on leave on my first day at EK ytd. aaand my dm hayati says i dont smile enough. she says tht the other part timers said so . great! awesome innit?
okayyy so i shall smile more. yup. like this. (:
i liked the walkie talkie, one day imma use it just To say goodbye when im leaving for work. soo i dont think ive met everyone yet. ive met many, but not all, i dont think so. so far all of them are real nice, esp my trainer and the younger malay girls.
hopefully i dont leave any gossip trail anywhere. soo yeah .
as for today, went to sch cos timothy invited us to watch talent quest. we all spammed faiz zainal cos he was still sleeping when we were all alr in the canteen waiting for him. blah3, went to hall to watch the last few performances for talent quest.
when it was the deepavali one, faiz and zharfan got up to leave, so asleah, hafiz, timothy and i followed behind as well. mr roslan was like, "oh, when deepavali celebrations, all of you want to run away ah, but just Now so despo to come in. next time you guys stay out!" ahhahah.
slacked at jamming room , watching the guys rehearse and all tht. i was recording, i aimed smth like the live sessions of TFT's discovering .
soooooooo. i need to see my khairul . i really do. ive not seen him for days. but it feels like a really long time. when was the last time i saw him? monday. i really really hope i can see him tonight, as i have work tmrw. sigh .
so much shit happened, yes. and i am sorry to all of you. ive written my reflection. and the rest of my feelings shall be in my wonderful red little notebook tht an old best friend of mine got for me.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Soul Full Solace MV !
oh btw! filming was a success. day two was on thursday, and also was the day of editting. i worked my butt off, blood sweat and tears, to get this :
this means a lot to me. all my projects do (: sooo. enjoy? yes, enjoy. enjoy! read its description first:
okkaiiiii, enjoy ^_^ and be sure to watch the vids for the Making of Soul Full Solace as well ! hmm. or you want pics ?
day 2:
yes, i had fun filming of course. currently thinking when i can do my next MV. hopefully i can involve more people, i would need boys in my MVs as wel, cos it'll be boring if only girls are filed, dont you think so? yes.
i wanted to have khairul in my sfs one as well. but he was busy with eoy, so yeah. nvm, i can involve him in other projects! if he wants to get involved of course.
yay i have blogged
this means a lot to me. all my projects do (: sooo. enjoy? yes, enjoy. enjoy! read its description first:
Uploaded by aquaheartbeat on Oct 13, 2011
it's finally done! been too distracted off this for too long.
a simple MV i made for TFT's "Soul Full Solace". basically it's tryna say how everyone has been too bogged down by the past, and the thing they should have done long ago was to walk away from it, which is always done a little tad too late.
------------------------
song used: Soul Full Solace (Interlude) - There For Tomorrow
my models !: Nur Asleah, Venusys Si Ying, and me too
camera used: Nikon L110
okkaiiiii, enjoy ^_^ and be sure to watch the vids for the Making of Soul Full Solace as well ! hmm. or you want pics ?
day 2:
yes, i had fun filming of course. currently thinking when i can do my next MV. hopefully i can involve more people, i would need boys in my MVs as wel, cos it'll be boring if only girls are filed, dont you think so? yes.
i wanted to have khairul in my sfs one as well. but he was busy with eoy, so yeah. nvm, i can involve him in other projects! if he wants to get involved of course.
yay i have blogged
Saturday, October 15, 2011
went pasir ris park with my khairul today! it was pretty last min cos i was sooo bored at home and he found an excuse to go out, so we went~ met at bus stop aft orange bus stop, but he forgot and alighted at the wrong stop, so met in the middle.
walked back to the bus stop i was at, waiting for 403. while waiting, talked a lot random and when it finally arrived, we alighted at the end and walked to the breakwaters (i think) . as always, talked and laughed abt many random stuff.
crap. my fingers. my fingers hurt. ok, i shall blog later, rest first can? fingers. pain .
i was tilting my head, staring at this pic when i paused the vid. he's shoo cute !
walked back to the bus stop i was at, waiting for 403. while waiting, talked a lot random and when it finally arrived, we alighted at the end and walked to the breakwaters (i think) . as always, talked and laughed abt many random stuff.
crap. my fingers. my fingers hurt. ok, i shall blog later, rest first can? fingers. pain .
i was tilting my head, staring at this pic when i paused the vid. he's shoo cute !
Friday, October 14, 2011
this man named khairul irfan
we all have a lot of secrets. i know i do.
ever since i met this someone, these secrets have slowly been revealed. i find myself opening up a lot more, and i even told him a big secret of mine tht nobody has ever known. and i changed too. i changed a lot for him, in a positive way.
a year ago, i withdrew myself from everyone around me, but my meeting with the man named khairul irfan melted the sheet of ice tht was engulfing me. he thawed the ice cube tht i was and found me, cold and shivering.
slowly, he warmed me up. i'm a flame now, warm and steady. i entered his life, his presence, his accompany, his arms, his embrace. and i've never regretted any of tht. i changed a lot for this man named khairul irfan. i've never changed for anyone. and i thought i would never.
he softened me. i used to keep everything to myself, under the glare tht i gave anyone who lay their eyes on me. yet, he strengthened me, this man named khairul irfan.
i've had another love before him. but, it's different this time. i'm not just Saying this. i really really mean it. there's smth abt this man named khairul irfan tht makes me very very very sure tht i am truly and sincerely in love with him.
this man named khairul irfan. sigh. every time he gets mad at me, i would always hurt somewhere, be it the head or backbone or stomach. but most of all it hurts in the heart of course.
i love him a lot.
i hope he's not doing anything stupid right now...
ever since i met this someone, these secrets have slowly been revealed. i find myself opening up a lot more, and i even told him a big secret of mine tht nobody has ever known. and i changed too. i changed a lot for him, in a positive way.
a year ago, i withdrew myself from everyone around me, but my meeting with the man named khairul irfan melted the sheet of ice tht was engulfing me. he thawed the ice cube tht i was and found me, cold and shivering.
slowly, he warmed me up. i'm a flame now, warm and steady. i entered his life, his presence, his accompany, his arms, his embrace. and i've never regretted any of tht. i changed a lot for this man named khairul irfan. i've never changed for anyone. and i thought i would never.
he softened me. i used to keep everything to myself, under the glare tht i gave anyone who lay their eyes on me. yet, he strengthened me, this man named khairul irfan.
i've had another love before him. but, it's different this time. i'm not just Saying this. i really really mean it. there's smth abt this man named khairul irfan tht makes me very very very sure tht i am truly and sincerely in love with him.
this man named khairul irfan. sigh. every time he gets mad at me, i would always hurt somewhere, be it the head or backbone or stomach. but most of all it hurts in the heart of course.
i love him a lot.
i hope he's not doing anything stupid right now...
Thursday, October 13, 2011
it's been a year.
a year ago, i allowed smth to happen cos of my stupidity, my ignorance. my desire. my foolishness, and my lack of thinking before i did it. it's too late isnt it? it happened. i had those feelings. and i wasted precious months crying over smth which was not meant to be.
well guess what? this year, i've got khairul irfan. and there's nth more i can wish for. 13th oct 2010 can go to hell. i'm in 2011 now.
a year ago, i allowed smth to happen cos of my stupidity, my ignorance. my desire. my foolishness, and my lack of thinking before i did it. it's too late isnt it? it happened. i had those feelings. and i wasted precious months crying over smth which was not meant to be.
well guess what? this year, i've got khairul irfan. and there's nth more i can wish for. 13th oct 2010 can go to hell. i'm in 2011 now.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
your hand is my hot chocolate ^^
long day today! although i aint even halfway thru.
woke up at 10 sia, which was the time tht khai told me to meet him. at first i was like, oh its ten. i went back to sleep, only gg into a shock a few seconds later. teros jumped out of bed and ran to grab my clothes and into the toilet, haha.
kay, last night's dream was awesome! was abt sch though, ive been dreaming abt sch a lot these days ever since my last day in the building on thursday. i rmb it being cca day cos i saw uniformed groups lined up by the parade square.
i recall seeing mr syafie , i rmb talking to him tgt with asleah, and they were like joking away when i decided to go to our old humans room, to "see who is occupying it this year" . i saw some random bespectacled kid coming out of the room.
hafiz came along, and we tagged team battle against the kids in the room, haha! in the end we won the fight and we managed to get tht classr back. and all was like normal, geog lessons in the humans room on the first floor.
i forgot what we did inside eh , but i see it. i recall the tables all joined as one long table in the middle of the room and we were all gathered around it laughing . yes it was ms poh!
hm. then what? oh yeah, and then i was standing by the spiral staircase between the classr blocks near the toilet again. some sec one or sec two boy was talking to me abt the UGs horse race. smth like tht .
and then, someone whom i cant recognize, told me tht none of the npcc representatives showed up. and tht no signs of npcc ppl anywhere in the sch. tht was when i had this inkling to represent npcc! hahaha.
yeah this part was fun. there was a stable behind the humans room. and i was thinking of which horse to ride. i rmb thinking to myself, "oh choose the one who is of same height or taller." and then i went to this beautiful horse the colour of midnight. and it was majestic, absolute beautiful thing. like a rapidash!
then i rode her down to the ish. damn awesome sia the feeling! ok, im very excited. hehehe! i rmb steering her over past the dnt rooms. wow. serious shit, tht feeling was damn bloody awesome.
k, im done abt my dreams. currently at mac with my khairul baby. he's feeding me fries, heheh. his hand was warm, that was my hot chocolate on this rainy day. ^^ hi khairul, i love you!
hi Eindah!! i love you too!!!
woke up at 10 sia, which was the time tht khai told me to meet him. at first i was like, oh its ten. i went back to sleep, only gg into a shock a few seconds later. teros jumped out of bed and ran to grab my clothes and into the toilet, haha.
kay, last night's dream was awesome! was abt sch though, ive been dreaming abt sch a lot these days ever since my last day in the building on thursday. i rmb it being cca day cos i saw uniformed groups lined up by the parade square.
i recall seeing mr syafie , i rmb talking to him tgt with asleah, and they were like joking away when i decided to go to our old humans room, to "see who is occupying it this year" . i saw some random bespectacled kid coming out of the room.
hafiz came along, and we tagged team battle against the kids in the room, haha! in the end we won the fight and we managed to get tht classr back. and all was like normal, geog lessons in the humans room on the first floor.
i forgot what we did inside eh , but i see it. i recall the tables all joined as one long table in the middle of the room and we were all gathered around it laughing . yes it was ms poh!
hm. then what? oh yeah, and then i was standing by the spiral staircase between the classr blocks near the toilet again. some sec one or sec two boy was talking to me abt the UGs horse race. smth like tht .
and then, someone whom i cant recognize, told me tht none of the npcc representatives showed up. and tht no signs of npcc ppl anywhere in the sch. tht was when i had this inkling to represent npcc! hahaha.
yeah this part was fun. there was a stable behind the humans room. and i was thinking of which horse to ride. i rmb thinking to myself, "oh choose the one who is of same height or taller." and then i went to this beautiful horse the colour of midnight. and it was majestic, absolute beautiful thing. like a rapidash!
then i rode her down to the ish. damn awesome sia the feeling! ok, im very excited. hehehe! i rmb steering her over past the dnt rooms. wow. serious shit, tht feeling was damn bloody awesome.
k, im done abt my dreams. currently at mac with my khairul baby. he's feeding me fries, heheh. his hand was warm, that was my hot chocolate on this rainy day. ^^ hi khairul, i love you!
hi Eindah!! i love you too!!!
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