grattitude to the ex.

heidiho! today was yet another great day at work! left a little too early so i went to the lib to return some books, and went to search for elly griffiths, but her third book was apparently on loan. went to polar's to get a strawberry roll.

was walking past the recreation centre when i saw chingkang, chit chat for awhile before making my way to the cheers to get myself a bottle of milk tea. this bloody mazda nearly knocked me down.

strolled my way to e hub, went toilet to see my reflection, and then went to slack at where i slacked with irshad tht day before work. some ahbengs were like looking at me and laughing at one point, but idk what they said ah, i was listening earpiece.

at 11:55, made my way to workplace, farhan was doing entrance, and he noticed tht i changed uniform alr :3 went to put my bag at gr office, where yong heng came along, he was doing mid shift as well.

so we went to clock in, then went to our stations, i was at ballocity. i was the only female playguide during am. the rest were, farhan, nasrul, syafiq A, and some dude named shahrul?

o yeah! when i arrived on the scene, nasrul was throwing balls back to ballocity. decided to help him toss some in as well, so he held up the flap for me. aimed over his head, the first few shots were successful.

then the last shot, i shot the ball onto his face sia!! smack dab on his face sia, omg. i laughed like fuck sia, omg. you should have seen the look on his face!!! i laughed like fuck but i did say sorry aft tht ok.

when he went away clutching his face (it was a pretty hard hit) , i went and sat down on the stair step. then i remembered nasrul's face, and i started snickering to myself!

ok la, today was a fun day. talked with nasrul, cause he was at megaplay. then i was wondering who the hell is shahrul. he came along, and i actually started checking him out. he saw, and i got stunned so i just showed a little grin of innocence.

hm then what eh? o yeah, farhan threw paper aeroplane at me, he was at entrance. then i threw at nasrul, who was at megaplay. the three of us ended up at the benches by the party room, tht little open space, playing paper aeroplane.

tht was fun sia! then idk who said, "takda kerja sey', then we all stopped and went back to our stations, like nth happened like tht. damn cute!

i liked when hayati was like walkie-ing for derrick again and again, and then derrick was finally like, "yes, baby?" then hayati was like, "can you come over to checkout to help me with smth, thank you, baby." macam cute!

PM people were, sery, changyuan, and rifqi. syafiq A was doing full shift i think. then DM was jin. was slacking at ballocity with sery when jin came over. sery stared at her, then she stared back. then jin smiled, tht was damn cute sia!

went for my break, nth much happened tho.

then aft tht what happened eh? when sery went for her break, which was like at 6.30 , i overheard syafiq kirim her skittles. gedebak gedebuk, when i was chatting with sery aft she got back, i went over to the check out counter for no apparent reason uh. nak kacau je.

overheard syafiq saying, "eh tak baik sey! aku belom lagi bukak abeh dah hilang!" i was like, "aper dier? skittles eh?" then he was like, "O: ! yeahh!" the check out cashier, fatin was like, "ayo eindah ambek!"

i laughed when she said tht, then i walked away. syafiq teros was like, "eh busted sia eindah!" i was like, 'aku tak ambek!" then fatin was like, "yeah lah, not she, i saw some malay girl taking just now."

syafiq straightway went into panic mode. then he asked me to cover him at entrance first, so i was like ok, good luck finding your sweets. then he went to all the malay kids in the park, to ask for sweets!

went to talk to derrick and lenny, who were at check in. turned out tht fatin had taken the skittles and given to derrick, who gave to lenny, who ate them all unknowingly! haha, kesian sey.

went to megaplay to talk to sery again. there were very little ppl at tht time. changyuan was playing catching with this little boy when he fell down, i laughed like shit sia! then sery kept annoying me, i find her damn fun sia! like very open :3

well i had to go when it turned 8, sadly. went to gr office, surprisingly everyone was gathered there. everyone were kecoh-ing abt syafiq's sweets, with jin in the middle. she got fed up and was like, "can all of you go back to ur stations."

damn cute, they all obediently went, but still kecoh abt skittles. hahahaha!

took my stuff from gr office, and then wrote schedule for next next week. wrote 5 days AM shift in a row, wowee. then syafiq and yongheng terperanjatkan me , one on each side -.-.-.- said bye to wei qi and syafiq, and walked out with yongheng, cause he was midshift as well.

he took his bus, and i went ahead to shady's place. he wore his socks just so he could have reason to send them to the laundry pail.

walked to elias , i liked the part where he had his hands on my shoulders and i led him to walk with his eyes closed :3 then he urot, sedap sey!

got domino's. pizza for the boy, and the usual cinnastix for me. while waiting, sat outside and chatted abt our day, shared with him all the funny shit tht happened today. then when order was made, decided to go opposite to eat.

dashed across the road,i liked tht a lot. damn fun. while eating, chit chatted as usual. fed him a little of my cinnamon bread, which is so damn rare. then he showed me a vid of this dude eating cinammon on its own. funny shit sia tht one!

then talked abt the past. talked abt the exes, and then we started arguing abt the time tht i asked shad for stead last year. tht was quite an enjoyable argument, i must say.

decided to go at 10:40. oh, i suka when he gripped my shoulder. but i suka it more if it's the right one uh. heheh. kk, then made our way back to elias mall, kissed goodbye, and then splitz }: was abt to go get pao when mommy said we were gg changi village. so went...

and i am tired now. so we shall stop.



just thought i'd say, i really am glad to have chosen my job over khairul then. it led me to my relationship with irshad, the love of my life, and meeting with many amazing colleagues.

so khairul irfan, i would like to thank you. i'd like to thank you for making me realize tht irshad is still the one no matter what. for making me realize tht i truly am capable of wonders. for making me really wanna prove to everyone tht i can do a good job at o levels despite having a job .

for making me feel more independant by telling me not to do this3 and that3. all those stuff tht u told me to do or not to do, they sucked. but they had a positive side. they all led to what i am today. i am truly grateful to have met you too, do rmb tht.

i'm not gonna apologize for anything... i'm just grateful. thts all. i am not sorry abt anything. so, thank you, khai.

heidiho.

today was another boring day. let's go thru what happened in monotone.

i woke up. i blogged. i went to have my shower. i went to eat. my little bro was on the PS3. i disturbed him. he scolded me. i went to my room. i scroll random websites. i lied down on the floor. i listened to a song on repeat. i daydreamed.

i read. i got engrossed. i put down the book. i looked around my room. i wondered what to do next. irshad texted. i texted irshad. i went to eat. i laid random things in an artistic manner. i filmed the objects. i transferred data. i started editting shit.

i got tired. i stopped editting. i closed the video editter. i wanted to camwhore. but the camera wouldnt focus on the ring. i got the perfect shot. i put it as my fb profile pic.



oh yeah, have i told you? ive got the new uniform at work! considerably like promotion like tht ah. (thats what the kids there consider it as) cant wait to show up for work wearing it. tmrw im working mid shift . imma be gg lib aft tht , hopefully !

and well... today was pretty much a boring day... wanted to go out, but then im like, k takpe. think i'll leave home early tmrw, i wanna go around to film some shit.

i have nothing much to tell you guys actually. just tht, i have written fully in my current diary. which means, i am moving on to another beautiful notebook as of tmrw!

but, it doesnt mean i will reject the importance of my current notebook. all the things ive written in it will mean a lot in the future to come, be it the reminiscing or the teaching. i will not throw away these notebooks. cause they are my precious diaries.

and just so you know aye ... ive been writing diaries since really young... i dont even rmb. but many have gone missing, so the earliest which i have in my possession is the one from primary 3. want me to read a few pages?

thursday 22.1.04
dear diary,
i did not go to school today. well, i dont know what happens today.

and tht was it , for this entry. O.O hmm what else... these two entries like sad.

saturday 24.1.04
this is my secret, on 2007/2008, amirul, azfar, e'indah, fatthin, haziq, humairaa, and syahir, we're gonna hang out at whitesands blah blah blah.

sunday 26.1.04
when we are all 12 and 13 years old, we could probably visit each other's house. then we'll hang out in... well you get the idea.

cause, if you think abt it, when i'm 12 , and when i'm 13, where the hell were they? we were all in different classes, and diff social groups alr. tht time all 7 of us were best friends sey, heheh... k, flashback. aaahhhh ..... i wonder when i can see them again. i have all their facebooks, but they all seem so distant.

o well, i cant be stuck here forever you know. i am in 2011 ! letting it go very soon, but still in it . i still have like 17 more days. still cant judge the year with 17 more days in tow. and there's still many important events tht are yet to happen.

first there is the ek bbq (hopefully i can go), and then there is n level results... and then there is double date.

tmrw, before work i will walk around cc to film... maybe get breakkie and eat while walking... see first if i can get out of bed early or not. and then during break , imma sit in gr office reading while snacking on smth light... most prob oreo...

is doing things for other ppl bad ? is having a good intention bad ? what if you do something good with a bad intention? is tht good or bad?



firetrucked aye ?
---------------------------------
k i just found a 111 questions thingy on facebook. bored, so i shall do it now -______- bear with me... if you want to.


1: Are you ready for 111 questions? yes.
2: Was your last relationship a mistake? nope, cause in the end it did lead me to my current one.
3: Do you miss your last relationship? nope.
4: Who did you last say "iloveyou" to? my bro.
5: Do you regret it? hahahaha.
6: Have you ever been depressed? yes.
7: Are you a boy or girl? GIRL .
8: Are you insecure? most of the time ?
9: What is your relationship status? attached.
10: How do you want to die? dont wanna think tht far .
11: What did you last eat? my mom's nasi ayam ...
12: Have you played any sports? rarely.
13: Do you bite your nails? i pluck.
14: When was your last physical fight? idr.
15: Do you have an attitude? hell yeah.
16: Do you like someone? yes :3
17: What is your real name? nur e'indah nadhirah bte md e'esa.
18: Have you ever read a book? hell yeah!
19: Are you gonna get high later? maybe?
20: Do you hate anyone at the moment? nope.
21: Do you miss someone? siying.
22: Twirl or cut your spagetti? cut.
23: Do you tan a lot? no?
24: Have any pets? considerably ^_^
25: How exactly are you feeling? hungry a little.....
26: Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving? yeah ?
27: Ever been checked out? mmhmm.....
28: Would you take any of your exes back? no.
29: Are you scared of millipedes? fascinated.
30: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? only if i can just see my past. as in, if my past was recorded, cause id like to see tht. but if you want me to be back in my past, then no.
31: Do you regret anything from your past? i regret sexy time with ex.
32: What are your plans for this weekend? entah eh .
33: Do you want to have kids? yupp. but not now.
34: Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M? muhammad irshad.
35: Do you type fast? yeah, with one finger from each hand. i am proud of tht :3
36: Do you have piercings? left earlobe.
37: Want anymore? nah.
38: Can you spell well? W-E-L-L .
39: Do you miss anyone from your past? the old me, i guess...
40: What are you craving right now? paos.
41: Ever been to a bonfire party? nope.
42: Ever been kissed? by the love of my life .
43: Have you ever been on a horse? yeah .
44: Kissed someone in a pick up truck? nope.
45: Have you ever broken someones heart? yes.
46: Have you ever been cheated on? considerably. he was sleeping with something tht his ex gave him.
47: Have you ever made a friend cry? yeahh ..
48: Are you thinking of someone right now? my ex.
49: Would you live with someone without marrying them? yeahh.
50: What should you be doing? eating.
51: Whats irritating you right now? ants in my room ....
52: Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? irshad.
53: Does somebody love you? i hope so!
54: What is your favorite color? white and green .
55: Have you ever changed clothes in a car? yeahh.
56: Milk chocolate or white chocolate? kinder bueno white f.t.w.!!!
57: Do you have trust issues? nope.
58: Bestfriends name? Loh Si Ying.
59: 2nd bestfriends name? Nur Asleah.
60: 3rd bestfriends name? a lot actually.
61: Longest relationship? myself, for 16 years.
62: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? yes.
63: Who was the last person you cried in front of? irshad.
64: Do you give out second chances too easily? kinda...
65: Is it easier to forgive or forget? it is easier to forgive.
66: Is this year the best year of your life? cant judge, because my life aint over yet. but so far, it is.
67: What was your childhood nickname? my mommy used to call me Nurein.
68: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? nope.
69: Favorite food? prawnnnnnssszzzxxx !! and everything else tht is edible and halal anyway.
70: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? yes.
71: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? ask irshad.....
72: Did you have dream last night? hell yeah, i always do.
73: What is bothering you? n level results.
74: Have you ever been out of state? meaning ?
75: Do you play the wii? dont have ......
76: Are you listening to music right now? yes. faktion.
77: Do you like chinese food? no ?
78: Who are you texting right now? siying .
79: Are you afraid of the dark? well i prefer the light.
80: Is cheating ever okay? no.
81: Are you mean? heartless.
82: Can you keep white shoes clean? nope.
83: What year has been your best? 1995, cause it was the very start of my whole life.
84: Do you believe in true God? i believe in only mine.
85: Favorite weather? as long as it's not rainy or cold, i like it.
86: Do you like the snow? NO !
87: Does it snow a lot where you live? nope. never does.
88: Do you like the outside? hell yeah. if it's hot.
89: Are you currently bored? nope, ive got a quiz tht is occupying me.
90: Do you wanna get married? hell yeah......
91: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? i guess?
92: Are you hungry? hell yeah.
93: Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? oh, got i think? have we, irshad?
94: What makes you happy? waking up.
95: Would you change your name? no way.
96: Ever been to Alaska? no.
97: Ever been to Hawaii? no.
98: Do you watch the news? sometimes.
99: What's your zodiac sign? virgo.
100: Do you like subway? no.
101: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? not really ?
102: Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i will lecture him abt it.
103: Do you talk like your friends? no ?
104: Why did you decide to do this quiz? cause i am bored......
105: Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? not really.
106: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? my bro. (hey he's my friend ok)
107: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? my bro.,
108: Do you feel good? hell yeah, i feel awesome.
109: Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? myself.
110: Favorite lyrics right now? the whole song of what i am listening to right now :3
111: Can you count to one million? i lazy la.
--------------------------------------------------------------

today was a boring day. was looking forward to having a proper convo with the busy man, but i guess he's just too tired. o well. ^_^

dream of past.

a very very good morning to all of you!

hm, this morning's dream aye? there's the one i had from 1 to 8 , and there's the one i had from 9.30 to 12.30 . which one do u want? k, both it is.

from 1 to 8, nth much. i was in a game i think. i was hiding behind a door and shooting some dude who was around the corner. i had a freaking shotgun! this is not the first time ive dreamt of possessing a shotgun.

i think i was with maya, we were like in a team, and she was right next to me. she kept yelling shit, and i also kept yelling shit. in the end , it was all silence. then i asked, "is tht dude gone...?" she went to check. and yeah, he was gone.

turned out, he was behind us, and he was like watching some concert tht was gg on. and the concert was music videos being played in real life, like get it ...? it was one bloody pop song aft another. i rmb kesha.

and yeah, tht's all for the 1 to 8. now for the 9.30 to 12.30? the dream i had when i fell back asleep aft texting shad.

the first thing i rmb, was walking along this void deck. along came muzzy. he told me to follow him somewhere, so i did... turned out, he wanted me to follow him to a wedding, cause he didnt wanna go alone.

all the ppl there were unfamiliar. one of the men came over and asked muzzy who am i. i looked at muzzy, for some reason his face was damn red. i still rmb, it was really damn red. tht man kept asking him questions, then i think muzzy got irritated, so he pulled me away.

then ppl kept gg over to him and asking him questions abt me. i got scared. i actually started crying. i told him i didnt want to stay any longer, and then he had this >: look on his face and started pulling me away again.

when there werent any ppl around anymore, i looked at his face. he was crying. so much tears T.T

then another part, i was at paya lebar mrt station. i rmb it was paya lebar, but it didnt look like it. i walked along this road, it looked a little like sentosa. i sat in a trailer, you know, one of those vans tht is a house, smth like tht ?

i was like looking into the drawer, when along came khairul irfan. he told me to follow him somewhere, so i did. turned out he wanted me to follow him go to a playground, cause he didnt want to go alone.

we sat at the top of the slide, when he pointed somewhere behind me. i turned and saw a snail stuck on the wall of the playground next to me. he said it's a species called a , damn what was the name he said ? jammedhead if i aint wrong.

and then we started talking. he talked abt his ex , who was with him in the dream i think. he said when he's with her, he always look at me, and think of me. all the way i just kept quiet and looked ahead of me .

at one point he started putting his face near mine. tht was when i started crying. he looked at me cry, and then he told me we had to go . he sent me back to the trailer, i was still crying all the way. and then when i was closing the door of the van, i saw his face. he was crying. and yes, so many tears.

k, another part, i was seated in fronta a door, playing ps3 with someone whom i cant rmb alr. the door kept opening and random ppl kept coming in, cause they wanted play ps3.but i die die didnt allow them take the controller from me.

eventually i stopped playing. and in fronta this door was three steps, meaning when we were on the ps3, we were sitting on those steps. i got down and went to some corner of tht room. it was a chemistry lab...

i rmb wanting to make aloe vera. but kept screwing up the formulas cos some woman kept screaming at me, and making me spill the shit tht i was pouring into the test tube.

and yeah.... tht is it. i dont know what its tryna say.

sabrina dota's 16th :D

heidiho! today is sabrina's birthday. happy 16th birthday sabrina!!! went to celebrate by watching movie and walking around tamp. so let's go thru the day bit by bit shall we.

was walking to century square when my head got smacked by a plastic bag. turned out to be siying, so made our way to the 5th floor cinema to see what movies were available, cos the rest hadnt turned up.

talked abt double date plans, and then she forced her hat onto my head. made our way to the lift area cause we thought of taking a seat for awhile, but we were so damn sad when there werent any of the sofas there =_= so we sat on the floor and camwhored.





this pic ^ kept making me laugh whenever i look at siying's face sia.

some eons later, pearl, sabrina and shushan arrived. gave the birthday girl her pressie, which was a purple beanie (with pompoms!) from both siying and i. went to see the movies at century sq's cinema first. then we decided to look at tamp's GV's.

was making our way there when we saw asleah, ran to her gg all bby....!! =_= and then asked where's farizah. asleah said she's like, just left home.

went to GV first, all 6 of us, and then we bought the tickets for new year's eve. went to buy food and drinks to smuggle in, the girls all bought heavy stuff like LJS/texas chicken, and in the end they were like wondering how to smuggle in.

they were squeezing their food into bags and all, when farizah came. the movie was abt to start anyway, so we all made our way to GV. i only had a bottle of milk tea, which i simply chucked inside hoodie.

i love it whenever we flash our ezlink cards at the movies, when we're like in tht big group of ours, heheheh. makes me wanna say, "police!" all the time.

so anyway. our seats were right under our noses, but we still had trouble finding. we were all standing by the door and debating which door to go into. in the end we found them and made our way to our seats. we sat like this:

shushan sabrina farizah
asleah pearl siying me

ok, the movie was great. i did cry at certain parts, the part during the speech and when everyone was kissing their partners at midnight. o and the seth dude, the one tht the 15-year-old girl liked, he looked so similar to maika maile!

aft the movie, went to the ladies, and then we camwhored a little. at this point in time asleah and pearl were missing cause apparently when we all left, they were still seated at their seats.




then, we went to the open plaza thingy to camwhore. asleah and pearl are still missing. they only came like some eons later. when we were camwhoring, so many ppl kept distracting us and we always looked somewhere else just as the camera snaps. so annoying !

but still managed to talk many group pictures.
now if you noticed, there are only 7 of us here, when in actual fact we're a total number of 8. yes, priscilla is not present...









i love this pic ^, everyone looks so happy!



went around to walk aft tht. looked at dresses, talked more abt double date with siying. then i talked to sab, told her tht i've been looking at dresses a lot since grad nite.she totally understood the situation, despite not being in it. hehe.

yes, the polka dot dress was cute. but the price is awful. went to mini toons aft tht cause sab wanted to get wrapping paper. the rest of us crowded around the sweets area, and were all debating to get any or not.

we all ended up getting sweets ! i was looking at notebooks :3 so damn thick! unfortunately it was 6 dollars. their candies all weigh til like 2.05 worth, but mine was just 1.70. heheheh!

aft paying, went off to artbox to see the calendars. and notebooks of course . one thing i dislike abt artboc, is, their products are all damn ex just because they were made in korea. well it doesnt matter, i didnt buy any anyway.

hm where did we go aft tht ? oh, we separated. sab , fariz and i went home, while the rest went to ccp to visit pris, who was at work. i wanted to, but i couldnt. so i just went on ahead to home.

walked home. stopped by 500A to see when the renovations were gonna be done. the earliest was to be nov , but latest by the 4th quarter of 2012, whatever tht means. (sounds like a long time later tho) walked home feeling dejected.

mommy was home, went up to her and clutched my tummy and was like, ooh so hungry! i want pizza! pizza! and then poof, she gave me ten bucks to go get pizza. so happily went downstairs to domino, petting kuskus on the way.

(kuskus is an orange cat at elias , my bro and i call him tht cause he's a very moodswing cat)

i ordered the simply cheese pizza with my cinammon bread, oo my lovely cinammon bread. sat there to wait for my stuff to be made. somehow it took so damn long today, 15 mins aft my order was made, some domino dude came over to me suddenly, it shocked the shit out of me and i jumped.

turned out he wanted to gimme , and some other customer who had waited as long as me, some coupon tht says: sorry to keep you waiting. we would like to make it up to you. turned it over and it's like, this voucher allows you to redeem a free personal pizza on your next take-away order.

i was like damn! tht's sweet ! was smiling to myself as i stared at the coupon. i didnt even realize my order was late to come. well eventually it did, and i made my way to home , it was alr maghrib.

i was freezing in the domino's cause it was cold. i didnt wear hoodie, cause i wanted to show tht i strong girl. i wanna grow accustomed to the cold. i dont know if i can, but i know i want to. and i must, cause i should. and i would. but will i ?



well anyway, i like my transformers tee. do you?
-----------------------------------------------------------
happy 16th birthday sabrina! you are my best friend as well as dota. always so reliable, trustworthy, and funny. always can confide in ya, and count on ya when there's trouble.

*sniff* you're finally 16. mummy's sho proud of you! (':
me love you always. heheheheh!

douche yang bertanduk .

heidiho! today, i had a short nap from late afternoon, waking up at like 6 plus? woke up with the sun in my face via mirror, which made me wanna fall back asleep . i sat up in the middle of my bed and stared.



hm, then at night, thought of gg to hunt for some chemicals. thought of gg ehub, cause wanted to stop by EK. but i got lazy, so i just went mac's. took these photos before i left. was randomly holding the chain when i realised i was holding it in quite an artistic manner. (;

it is not perfect. but the memory is beautiful enough.




when i got home, was slacking in my bedroom when my bro called out to me. he said spike was outside, so we quickly unlocked the gate and went over to him. havent seen him for a really long time since he got hospitalized due to a fall from the 8th storey...

spikey had his right arm bandaged. and most of his fur had been shaved off. he sat quietly in the corner, staring at me. then he meowed. he started walking towards me, and tht was when i felt so damn sad.

he limping sia , no not really limping. it's like much worse. i nearly wanted to cry , but i held it in. spikey made his way towards me and i bent down so i could pet him.

what a hearty reunion. T.T

he made his way to our house , struggling to go up tht one little step. he walked around the house like how he always used to. this time i made sure all windows were closed so he couldnt climb out.

in the end, he sat on the couch, smth which he had never done before... he looked so tired. it made me love the cat more. (o to be honest i still dk whether spike is female or male)



nowadays the water in the bathroom has been hot. i love it ! i love the heat. it's so hot tht the mirrors get fogged up every time. and i always trace song lyrics onto the fog, lyrics tht would mean a lot to the ppl in the house, or to anyone actually...

but too bad. i'm like the only one who uses tht toilet in the kitchen. so nobody ever gets the chance to read those lyrics. apart from myself.

like i said... the only one who'll ever be with ya is you and you alone. the ppl who were there at your birth aint gonna be around when you die. the ppl who are around when you die werent there when you were born. think abt it ... (imho of course)

im almost done with my current diary. as in, it's gonna be filled up pretty soon. which means i can start writing in my new notebook very soon alr! "keep writing like there's no tmrw so you could write in the next beautiful notebook."

my notebook has become my sorta like trademark at EK. everyone's like asking me you like to write diary isit? im like yes, and theybe like, i always see you in the corner writing by yourself. hahaha, i dont mind tht. i dont mind the grinch or violet as well !

well anyway . i'm currently listening to a little bit of Faktion, despite them breaking up a few years back. and texting irshad abt some shit. he da 'douche yang bertanduk'.



the things tht make us deep are the things tht we dont speak.

kotoko is sho pretty!

damn, i wanna make a short film sia. but there's many things to think abt, like the story , the people , the places, the angles. i've got the story. but the people? tht'll be difficult. the angles should be simple. hmmmnnnhhhmmmmnnn.

anyway, a very good morning to you all. or more like you both because for all i know siying and irshad are like my most frequent readers. o well, i am grateful for you both.

i see my dream, but ive no idea how to put most of it in words. i was invading the territory of some foreign family. the kids were two young boys, they kept asking me to play with them. tht was when my tooth dropped out, and it was blue.

at some point i tried to run away i think. the outside world was damn unfamiliar. think it was a different country altgt . ok nevermind.

i am afraid. most of the time, i am afraid of the future... but i know i shouldnt be. the only thing tht can scare me is the times where i show a great amount of courage, tht i never thought i had. and the same goes for all of you (in my humble opinion)

but still, i cant help but be afraid. and im afraid of change as well. maybe tht's why i fear the future. cause i dont want things to change..

i dont want people to leave, i dont want places to be demolished. i don't like it when my watch ticks right into my ear. i've never liked wearing a watch anyway. yeah, why am i wearing it ? and why did i make it move?

i know change is irrevocable, and i have to accept the fact when something doesnt stay the way it is. i will eventually graduate and grow old, i know all of tht. i guess i just aint tht ready yet...

well, nevermind. all tht matters is the present. it is today, so why care abt tmrw or ytd ?

shoot, my ankle itchy like firetruck. i dislike it when it's itchy like firetruck !

you know aye, if you noticed, i seldom put the face tht goes like >< in my blog posts, altho i always feel tht a lot. you know why? cause tht face will spoil the codes. they're like considerably the important parts in the codes la.

in fact now i am pretty scared to type tht face in this post... k nvm . i am bored. it is a boring monday morning......

my twitta screwed sia. idk whats wrong with it , i cant go my activity thingy or retweet, and i cant even tweet. annoying shit .

shit, i needa pee real bad .

k dah, heidiho! just got back from a family outing. woke up feeling unwell , with a terrible nausea... must have been my dream. yeah , irritatingly, i always blame the start of my mornings on my dreams, be it good or bad...

i know it's a bad thing to do , but i cant help it.

well anyways, was still dragged out, turned out tht we were gg to USS ... i was quite shocked ! didnt have the mood to play. but i didnt want to waste the moolah (it aint firetrucking cheap sial) so i tried my best not to be the spoil sport.

k lah, overall the day was fun. but im too tired to go into details. just tht, the transformers one was FIRETRUCKING AWESOME SHIT !!!! the 2h queue was worth it (kinda) , cause it's just damn awesome la sia.

wanted to ride the rapids adventure one. the one at jurassic park , the wet one. but it was closed. i was like hopping my way there, pulling Naz with me. but got so damn bummed when it aint open. o well.

and, aft watching the steven spielberg thingy , i was suddenly so very sure tht i wanna be a filmmaker!

i am shoooo sleepy. i still feel a little unwell. think better get some sleep soon ....

DA-MN ! my mommy just said "i love you sweetheart darling honey!" !! to me!! cause i helped her download song . heheheheh!

press the B button to cancel .

so today i woke up thanks to the kitties at guilley. namely halia, tilda and zorro. they came into the room and started running like firetruck, the bells ringing into my ears. and they were meowing non stop siaaaa .

spent the morning watching some fruits basket . i loved the episode where uo and hana slept over at the sohma house! funny like shit, tanda stared at me laugh to myself. o yeah, i seemed to have melted the heart of tht little boy. he doesnt hiss at me anymore!

uncle gave me some sweets from taiwan.

eh actually i am quite lazy to blog . but, i expected my mommy to throw a bad tantrum at me when she got home. you know what happened ?

she burst open my bedroom door when i was looking at myself in the mirror. cause i was trying on the new skirt , with stockings. she shocked the shit out of me, and i think i shocked the shit out of her too .

she was like, when did you buy tht.
i was like, two days ago.
and she's like, it's nice.

and then she left without saying anything abt my running away from home .

as her dear old daughter, i know what's on her mind i think. most probz she was happy tht i bought a skirt on my own accord. cause all the dresses/skirts tht i have existing in my cupboard, all of them were bought by her...

well. tht did the trick , so nth bad happened. hopefully ruby won't keep throwing pokeblocks at his feebas aft it becomes a milotic.



here's the skirt, but it is not very clear. and the effing tee doesnt match with the skirt i think. does it ? idk, what does siying think ? does she wanna follow me shopping again? to find smth to match with it ?

ok, shady is at his cousie's place right now. and me at home... good ole home? maybe .

i want to run. i want to stomp thru puddles , in the rain. and then aft tht, i just wanna drop to the ground and stay there for the rest of the night . ....i must grow accustomed to the cold .

like most nights, i am sleepless.
unlike most nights, i am at guillemard.

i am sitting in the kitchen on my lappy right now . tilda's here staring at the water bowl. she's been doing tht from just now, i really have no idea what's on her mind. tanda is under the table i think. halia woke up to take a dump. hometown is sulking because my aunt aint home. i just fed katie her posh feline food. and zorro? idk, probably tearing apart some curtain right now.

ive not told you what is it abt my mommy eh. some other time? maybe i should go try to sleep now. altho tilda and halia would start disturbing me very soon aft my head hit the pillow. or maybe i should watch fruits basket. k , i shall do tht .

what!? feebas is evolving!
(press B to cancel)
*presses B*
evolution cancelled.

courage .

this song was a hit from 2007, or maybe even earlier. i rmb it's abt courage.

was typing away at mccafe when some dude outside the window next to me stared at me. it was z handsome boy irshad, and he looked so fucking hot with the messy hair sial.

so he came in and he had butt cramps? talked abt work and bike stuff, and then he wanted 100+, so i ran to cheers to get a bottle of tht. talked to jiajing , and then many eons later shad and i made our way out.

decided to go to prp , to walk around. which is an 'as always'. he had his bikey, but he was kind enough to walk and push it, instead of cycling. but he started cycling halfway cause of the puddles i think. but he was still sweet enough to hold my hand . so he was cycling with only one hand .

i enjoyed the part where shady jawab the unsuspecting mats with the annoying sound effects . my gosh. tht was fun sia.

stopped by the place where we had our first kiss. ive not gone there on my own , the very last time i went there was the very first time which was our first kiss. but we couldnt stay long, unfortunately, bcos of bloody aggas (idk how spell)

went to the kitchen garden (rmb on 18th may 2009 siying? when we were despo to go there but in the end it wasnt what we expected) and talked a little more , just a little more. and then started kissing :3

i like the positions tht we sat in. like so comfy with each other. like couple who go over to each other's house just to play ps3.

when we were kissing, irshad held me toward him via my right shoulder. altho it did hurt, i kinda liked it when he did tht. kept each other close, altho we were as closest as can be :3 hm what next eh?

todayy was indeed a day of Courage . altho i took my own sweet time and still didnt do a good job, he still told me it is ok cause it was just my first time giving it a shot. THAT WAS FIRETRUCKING SPICY .

o and i removed the hoodie tht i was wearing. to suffer with irshad, despite it being another chilly night. tht took guts , for someone who aint used to the cold :3

when we went off aye , i suddenly felt like running. so i did. tht felt firetrucking GOOD . altho i was tired like fuck, tht run made my whole life flash before me. got a little nauseous aft tht. and then shady asked me why was i sleeping at guillemard.

simple. family probs. the good ole family probs.

i told him it was my brothers tht made me upset. im sorry , but tht was a lie. aft i told tht lie, i kept quiet cause i felt guilty. aft thinking abt it , i was like, "....can i tell you smth?"

i wanted to tell him. but i didnt know how to put it. it wasnt simple. i was afraid tht he wouldnt believe me. it took me a while to get it out . i thought i was prepared. so i told him. i told irshad abt the most beautiful woman on earth .

bloody hell , halfway thru my voice changed , i think cos of my throat, i felt it clog up. and yes i broke down and started bawling. tried to finish what i was saying but my voice was alr breaking down like fuck.

i just kept talking. tears were falling but i wanted to pour out words to irshad as well and not just tears. come to think of it , it was pretty embarrassing. but then again , including tonight, shady has seen me cry thrice ina month .

i love it when he whispers, and i love it so much more when im able to hear him clearly. it was a full moon. the park was dark and deprived of human life . in the midst of my sobs, he stopped cycling and pulled me into a hug . he said it's alright. he shushed me and wiped my tears away.

thus, this boy named irshad. i love him with all my heart and soul.

we parted at the dte bus stop. i crumpled the letter i wrote my mom , and stuffed it into the pouch of shad's bag .

i felt so much lighter. aft the run , aft telling someone this pain of 16 years, aft being comforted by the love of my life. and yeah.....it did feel kinda.... free.



and yeah tht's a fucking picture of me ok .

heidiho! currently at mccafe dte, awaiting the handsome boy irshad. he will be coming in like another 15 mins? cause he's currently at ikea. here i am sitting with muka steam , concentrating on my dear ole computer and typing, my fingers flying like hell away .

you're most probs wondering what the hell eindah is up to today. well , i just finished a day at work. and today is special because i came from my aunt's place aka guillemard. woke up at 7 thanks to my lovely grandmother (woke up at 4 before tht, with no thanks to tilda) .

o yeah! last night , my grandmother had an argument with my mommy over the phone. my grandmother was like, "budak tu pegi makan la! lepas tu dier pegi shopping, kasi la dier pegi shopping, baru dapat gaji! abeh dier naik mrt pon bukannyer cepat per!" i was like HEHEHEHEH .

well. parents told me not to sleep over for two nights. but my grandmother was like, "eh, dier dah bawak baju untok 2 malam. kasi dier tido dua malam, kalau tak buat susah je." HEHEHEHEH.

hm what else? played with them 6 felines last night, they were all in the kitchy ,, thts why i couldnt sleep. even when i tried to , tilda and halia would come and bite my ears off. and their effing bells =___________=

abt today, or this morn, i left guilley at like 745 , but i knew tht if i took myusual gg-home-from-guillemard route, i would be damn early. i ended up alighting at bedok , with the intention of taking bus no 17 .

but guess what ? the effing bus interchange was on renovation, and the sign read: "the bus services from here are at the temporary interchange" and im like, which is where... ?

hey! i see jiajing :3

k then then then , i finally found it, and then the freaking bus 17 was at freaking berth 9 . i was at 1.

so yeah, walked , which was a nice thing to do in the morn actually. and anyway it made me later a bit. as in, i reached not too early. o and i dropped off at spc to get myself a cuppa (can, actually) latte. saw shady's ex , i think she saw me uh.

i kinda miss sch. i miss walking tht path with pearl, priscilla and shushan, somehow. o well. imma go sec 5 uh.

k uh, i reached quite just in time at e hub. slacked at gr office awhile, and then blah3 actually i am kinda lazy to blog right now. but i need smth to do while waiting for the shady boy. o and i didnt realize my music player was set on repeat ?

today was not very fun as always. i mean at work uh. briefing was funny tho, i was listening to hayati and haryani convo . like kelakar, and cute sia hahah.

hm, at 12 , benna and farhan came! farhan said my style of putting the santa hat 'macam cute'. heheheheh! then he dk how to style his , cause he said he looked ugly.

well then what ? during break, sat at the gr office eating my KBW while reading . today was cold sia! the aircon must have been too low , i had to sit with my legs crossed under the little table in the gr office in order to gte myslf some warmth.

talked with benna a lot today , bonded with her. she told me abt ytd , she and haryani and syeera were like slacking to cut cake for jasleena , who only came at like 9. they were waiting from 4 sia. kesian sey!

when benna told me how syeera was like wondering what ice cream to eat the whole day , tht part made me laugh like shit sey! hahaah. o and i found out tht benna dislikes maths as well :3 and she's also an art student (this i know from last time) and art is like her life :3

where is shady i wonder :3

it is raining and i am freezing , but i only bought iced latte (stupidly) bcos it was the only thing i could afford. there's a girl studying on my diagonal left, she kept lookin at me with this irritated look. think my typing is distracting the shit outta her sia.

k, idk what else to talk abt. my dream last nite? i dont rmb much . only one part in sch , there was this thingy tht is like a fish pond but indoor? then an airplane dropped in and killed the fish tht it landed on.

shady o shady , where are you?

the thing tht i dislike abt myself a lot, is the fact tht whenever i miss someone, i will go their house area to loiter. idk. it's a very bad habit i know. nov 2010, i rmb always ending up at irshad's block whenever i go for tht stress walk of mine.

to be honest ah , of all the guys at EK , i kinda prefer yongheng to the rest. then of all the girls.... now tht u mention it, it is difficult to decide tht one. i think sery ? i guess. SO FAR LAH .

B.O.S.A.N.

my previous relationship .

heidiho! currently at guillemard. good ole guillemard !

let me share on today. had am shift today. was gonna slack with irshad before tht, but i effing woke up at the designated meeting time. i was like HOLY SHIT ! and i rushed like eff.

later on, when i was searching for him, he shocked me like hell sia! i really didnt see him coming. well then we walked to pasir ris park, to slack there before sending me to work.

he kept insisting tht i stay on his right but i kept insisting tht he stays on my right. kept pulling him but kept failing also heh .

when we were slacking at ehub, saw benna and farhan when i was just wondering who's working today, heheheheh. eons later went off to work aft saying bye to z shady.

so today had last briefing with DMs sha and jasleena, cos they are leaving alr. i was assigned entrance today! i've been screwing up at entrance each time i'm there, be it a cover or assignment.

o and we all hafta wear little santa claus hats today. hahahah! all didnt wanna wear sia, should have seen the looks on everyone's faces. cute buncha ppl sia, them EK kids.

well so anyways, talked with sery before opening time. k ah, today not much actually. cause entrance per, alone pulak tu. it's like, cant talk to anyone or run around.

but i had my second test today. the probation one. meaning, imma be changing my uni right aft this! heheheheh.

o and i had break with benna today! baik per, first time spending breakkie with someone sey! i was sitting at the gr office munching on me kitkat chunky caramel while reading, when benna came in and said it was her break.

and then she invited me to accompany her go break :3

well , we talked abt the usual 16-year-old topics. from n level results to boyfriends to looks. and she encouraged me to wear dresses more. auntie jean came and joined us during tht topic, and she encouraged me too. heheheh.

made our way back eons later, and i went back to entrance where yongheng was covering me. o yeah, i forgot to say, some time before my break, jennifer OM called me to her office cause she wanted to 'have a word' with me.

yes, you guess it, it was because of my smile.

she asked me whether i am sad. and then blah3, tralked abt airlines and hotel services. and then suddenly, she asked me: "eindah, what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

i was like, "i wanna be a filmmaker."

and she's like, "ah. videography."

and i'm like, "yes ma'am."

i like what she said aft tht. she was like, "just because you're behind the camera, it doesnt mean you only have to care abt the image of what is in the camera."

and then started talking abt my horoscope. and perfection, individuality and sincerity. i must say, it was a really good talk. it all makes a lot of sense. came out of the ops office a lighter person (?) .

had to make myself think of random funny moments of my life, cause it was the only way i know to make me smile.

k well anyway, when it was nearly 4, the walkie announced: "jin to playguides. those who are not wearing the hat will have to wear santa claus costume. i'll be gg around to check right now." i quickly put on mine and saw tht the rest did too. i laughed sia! i really did !

saw jennifer OM coming outta the ops office, walking towards the slope towards the toilet, where most of the playguides were gathered at. i saw farhan not wearing his hat , and i was like, DIE.

and yeah, a few seconds later, he went to the ops office with a sulk. peeked in thru the little window at the top, and saw farhan putting on a red coat.

straightway dashed into the ops office (aft making sure there aint any new visitors) and stood by the doorway watching. i laughed, which made wani and farhan turn, and they were like, "you dont laugh , later confirm you kene!" heh.

haryani and jinghui came later, tho they aint working today. they stopped by cause it is jas and sha's last day rmb? yeahh, and then aft i clocked out i went to walk around the stations to disturb the pm playguides.

i was given a chocolate! wani gave me half of hers, and then benna gave me one more whole piece, so i gave wani half to be even. and then siying came along, said goodbye to sery who took over me at entrance, before gg to meet siying.

walked to central to take bus to nex. listened to a certain song on repeat to familiarize with it to make tht vid of mine. many eons later, reached .

walked around a lot , we bought sab's pressie, and then went to search for tht bloody shop where i bought the dress, but i couldnt find it. ate long john silva, and yes honey, i got the shrimp.

talked abt colleagues and boyfriends (mine) over the lunchey :3 shall tell you all what i told her. i cried when i told natalee two nights ago.

k , many many many eons later i found the effing shop. didnt buy anything tho, but went the shop opposite and tht was where we tried on these skirts. siying said the one i tried on looked cute, heheheheh.

decided to get it, and then she decided to get a top tht she tried on too. the best thing was , the salesgirl told us tht there'd be a discount for purchase of any 2 items in da store :3 happily bought our stuff, and happily walked outta the store !

ok ah , the skirt is cute. omg i bought a skirt. the one i wore on my bday was smth my mommy bought for me a long long time ago. bloody hell, this feebas is gonna be able to evolve into a milotic soon. i hope .

well yadda yadda blah, made my way to guillemard, and did i tell you i walked around with tht bloody heavy bag of mine? cause sleeping over tonight. shitzels, my shoulder is breaking. yes, the effing right one.

as promised, here is what i told siying just now, and what i told natalee crying.

my previous relationship.



i met him not even half a year aft i told myself to withdraw from the ppl around me. he opened me up, and i did like him. i really did like him. i got into a relationship with him, because i was sure of myself, i was sure tht i totally liked him and him alone.

you know what, not even ten days aft we got into our relationship, he was alr getting upset with me. we fought abt a blog post of mine. cause he freaking misunderstood what i really meant to say, and he got upset abt it.

actually to put it simply, he got upset with my opinion.

yes truth be told, he always did. whenever i am upset with him and i share the problem, he starts throwing a tantrum at me. eventually i just didnt bother giving tht shit anymore, so i stopped telling him anything abt him tht bothers me.

he had his own arguments. i was tired. but i hung on, cause i didnt want to run back to the past. i focused on the future. cause i really thought i had one with him. i kept hoping. i am one who really believes so much in hope.

but it really all was for nought. he controlled me. he told me not to go for walks at night. i was fine with tht, because i understand tht he's afraid if i, being a female bump into unnecessary trouble or what. so i didnt. and he didnt allow me play ps3 which i also understood because it was n level period.

but then one day, he told me not to go for walks at all . tht sucked. tht really sucked. i mean, walking is like my way of relieving stress. and he was always giving me stress, and it was bloody n level period ffs. of cos i'd be fucking stressed .

i fucking needed a walk, but he told me not to. we'd have a convo like this:

me: gg out for a walk now!
he: alone?
me: yupp!
he: ok. take care.
me: ok!
he: actually i dont like you walking alone.
me: oh dont worry, ill take care of myself.
he: so u still gg?
me: yupp!
he: oh. ok .

and then hebe like talking in tht irritating tantrum tone . and then one day he just told me tht i aint allowed to go for walks alone, or at night, or to sch. i was like what if i get stressed? he was like, you stay home and write in ur diary.

honestly it didnt help when he tags along on my walks. and he also didnt like me walking in the rain at all. even when im like walking to the bus stop in the morn and it suddenly started pouring (so it aint my fault) , he'd be like yelling at me, saying things like why the fuck are you so dumb to walk in the rain when you know you're alr unwell.

he forbade me from making contact with irshad. when shad came over for raya, he got so damn angry when he found out. we got into an argument which sent phones flying against the wall, and botha us nearly got knocked down by car .

he didnt like me gg out with natalee, just cause his classmates have got smth against her. tht was firetrucking stoopit. he also got damn angry at me when i went ahead with the plan to study with her even aft he told me not to.

the last straw has got to be when he told me to quit my job .

first: he was the one who allowed me to apply. second: he was the one who persuaded me to go for orientation. i liked the job alr . and he told me to quit in mid nov cause he said i wouldnt be able to cope with studies and work .

his expectations were high, tht is all i can say. he said i treated him like shit. thts because i was trying not to. people become more clumsy when they try to be careful. just by saying tht, he made me feel like shit.

well , i do declare tht i didnt love him enough to try again. i was brainless . i stupidly went along with all his fucking high expectations , his orders .

i was never meant to be with him. but it did lead me to my current relationship, the true love of my life. it feels like ive never met him before. i look at his face and i dont feel for all those times ive had with him.

my being with irshad has burnt the book of memories with khairul.



but guess what?
i still got butterflies whenever i see the boy in sch despite walking and smiling right next to the boyfriend. in other words... when i was with khairul , i never forgot irshad.

tht is the irrevocable truth.
i lied khai . i lied to you. i am not gg to say sorry. because i will not apologize to you for having feelings.
not anymore.

a sudden recollection .

o yeah! i got funny story to share .

sery told me this.

there was once a time, on the walkie at work, like around 9 plus to closing time uh, sery and her then colleague were picking up balls at ballocity. they placed their walkies on the fountain. then suddenly there was a very loud scream coming from the walkies .

sery told me , hayati DM came running outta the ops office ! she was like, what the fuck was that !?!?!?

hahaahhahahahah funny shit! i can imagine! hayati sia ! not some playguide you know. hayati ! funny shit. omg . i laughed like shit when sery told me. hooooo .

yeah thts it. bye.

a dress !

today, i went shopping with my mommy.
SHOPPING. MOMMY.

first we went to century square cos she was looking for some long sleeved shirt to wear on the airplane. cos she's gg KL this thursday. to attend some airasia function.

so yeah, while she was trying on some stuff, i decided to walk around on my own... was abt to go to the vans section , was passing by the dresses when somehow, i got attracted to them. idk lah eh, but i actually thought the dresses were nice .

i terpikat with one particular one, and the price was like , 70. i was like =___= and then my mommy came out and then we walked out and made our way to taxi stand cause she wanted to go Nex next. haha, get it? nex next. omg.

k, so when we arrived, first thing we did was go to the toilet cos mommy was urgent. for a minute, i had my hair tucked behind my ear . but i let it down again .

walked around many random clothes shops. damn a lot of dresses. somehow, ... i couldnt help staring at the nice ones , and becoming attracted. damn. i am growing up arent i ?

mommy made me laugh a lot. hahaha. this is why i dont like gg out with her if bro is there too, or bros. cause she wont focus on me . yes, no matter what, i am still a child who wants her mother's attention.

we ate mad jack's. i got choconana for dessert ! happy happy happy , and then walked around some more . she looked around a lot . she only bought herself a belt.

and, she also bought me a dress. it's polka dot . black and white. the top is like siying's dress on grad nite... and then mommy bought me black stockings as well. damn black. and im like O:

i love my mommy no matter what. dont you love yours ?

well anyways. i have got another dare. or more like my current dare has been expanded. now i hafta be wearing like formal get-up for some special event one day. BEFORE THE END OF THIS YEAR .



and so. sorry for the short post.

this is the dress, upon request from irshad the boyfriend .

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i am not gonna show it.

sorry! love you !









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nah , just kidding .



tada.

better blog abt last night's dream before i forget !

uhm, damn i am forgetting some alr. i dont rmb the exact positions. i do see what happened, but i dont rmb the order in which the shit happened.

it was grad nite. i think it was a second one, cause i rmb someone saying "good thing we have two grad nites. at least we have got a second chance to be prettier than our first grad nite." think it was siying.

the sch building was totally different. there were many buildings on the sch area , i think it was almost like a campus thingy, there was a mac's and there was a hair salon, but it was indeed our sch.

i was eating at the mac's with asleah, farizah and siying. asleah was talking abt gg to the hair salon aft eating. i said i wanted to as well, but i rmb tht i didnt have money cause i bought a bloody mcnuggets meal .

when we were eating aye, i looked out the window cause we were sitting by the glass. there were many cambodian kids , and npcc kids were next to them. then i rmb smth like a field trip/exchange programme aper entah.

oh, and then there was one part where i climbed this flight of stairs alone , with shad's hoodie around my arm. at one point someone screamed at me, and i got scared, i actually jumped down. idk how many effing levels there were, but i jumped off the building.

i effing survived sia. but then shad's hoodie got tangled somewhere, then i saw tht it caught onto some other flight of stairs uh.

the layout of tht building was weird. it's like.... k i can see it but i cant put it in words. kinda scary tho. i was wondering how the hell do i get up tht place where shad's hoodie was at. i stared up tht building for very very long.

i forgot how i got it uh.

but another part, i was with sabrina. there was another sch opp our sch , and a really big road divided these two schs. sabrina didnt know her way across cause there were so many cars. at one point i just dashed and pulled her with me, and we effing survived.

grad nite in the dream was boring. but it was similar to the one we had in real life, altho more boring. and my effing dress was effing woah. not WOAH, just woah. was it red? or was it black? i cant rmb.

i rmb being in a lift with 4/1 dudes. of cos, irshad was there, and he was right in fronta of me no less. i dont rmb what happened in tht lift tho.

i saw many crestians sprawled across the buildings tht we saw earlier. k, then i dont rmb alr. i like the parts where i jumped off the building tho. the feeling was like WOAH. not just woah, but WOAH. and i survived.

-end-
well tht was the dream tht i had aft i ran to my parents room. before tht, it was another dream of cos. come, the dream tht i had before i terbangon at 3.

i was at EK . ballpool area. it was almost closing time. i was arranging the cushions ah, which is what i always do in real life. a boy came and started playing. i thought to myself, let him play first before i go clean up uh.

you know there's like 2 sections at the toddler area? the one where the circle is at, and the one on its right? i went to the right , and i had my back at the circle area. suddenly heard the sound of a cushion being throw onto the floor.

turned. nobody was there. searched like shit, there was nobody around.

-end-
when i woke up, i ran to my parents bedroom and slept next to my mommy.

i kept thinking tht was the story tht aqilah never got to tell me. she once told me there's also smth at ballpool , but she never got to tell me tht story cos she got interrupted, and i never got the same shift as her alr.

anyway, this is what i have been listening to all morning.

just so you know, i rarely reply someone with a K . and i am irritated. i dk whether it is the phone tht did not receive the text, or the other phone tht did not send the text, or the boy tht did not reply .

another day @ WORK !

heidiho!

finally had another day of work today! suriani had a fever and needed someone to replace her. so i offered, cause mommy didnt have any plans today aft all. glad tht i could help her!

woke up in the morning to a 1K text from maya cousie, it made me cry. aft i replied her i ws crying my eyeballs out T.T til i fell back asleep.

when i woke up, saw a text from shady asking if i'd like to meet at 10.30, so i was like yes please! and tht gave me the strength to get out of bed and get ready and all. i had planned to be early, when shady texted me "leave in 5 mins", i was alr putting on my shoes :3

but, alas, irshad was still the first to arrive. when i saw him there i sulked a bit, but then again his face is just so cute tht i had to smile, so i did. and he smiled back but im like why must you come before me all the time -_____________-

walked as always, and talked as always, irshad with his many many stories. i love listening to him :3

me: *stomach grumble*
irshad: eaten alr?
me: T.T no....
irshad: wanna go get smth to eat?
me: it's ok.
*silence*
irshad: wanna go get smth to eat?
me: ? it's ok...
*silence*
irshad: wanna go get smth to eat?
and im like =______________=
and he's like, you hafta eat before you work. eat before you work. even smth like a chocolate. it should do til your break time. i survived on a chocolate for a whole day before *story mode*

so stopped by ws to get some food.

i got a strawberry roll cause polar was open! i love them strawberry rolls. saw the junhong guy, he stared at me when i was buying me rolls. at first i was like =_= and then when i saw him i was like O_O and then im like :D

k, then met back with shady who was buying chocolate , and continued our way to ehub. halfway thru, he suggested we play swing. i was like, O: are you serious? the swing? the swing?? the SWING!? you're letting me play on the SWING !? and he's like =.=

heheheheheh, got so damn happy. then he said, but you finish your food first!

but then but then, there was one big effing puddle at the swings. damn. i love puddles, but i dont like tht one. cause then we couldnt play. damn it !

slacked somewhere nearby eating our stuff, and then talked some more. when he asked me to guess what skin his keychain was, i was like, crocodile. i liked the look on his face when he was like, "MM! not bad!"

he dared me to tuck my hair behind my ear (on the left side) for one whole day. yeah, he dared me. im like, what do i get ? and he's like, what do you want? and im like, i wanna go to florida. and he's like =___________________________=

in the end, settled for a 32gb memory card for cammie. i know what to do for the dare alr, ehheheheheh.

walked to e hub, talking some more. wanted to buy sweets but i realized tht if i did, i wouldnt have any money for break. told irshad i aint buying any anymore. but didnt expect tht he'd buy for me. sob. sho shweet T.T

he sent me off to work , exchanged byes and loves you before making ma way to ops office.

said hey to haryani , who was doing ticketing. hayati was in the ops office , she was surprised to see me cause suriani didnt tell her tht i was replacing her =_= so told hayati, and then nasrul came along, who was replacing syafiq, and also didnt tell hayati, so she had the same reaction to seeing nasrul . hahaha.

clocked in and did all the usual stuff, then went to cover break for changyuan who was at entrance. syeera and farhan came along, and started dancing and singing, respectively. gave them a face but i just laughed in the end.

today, i met sery. she's so pretty! i like when she smiles, and she's always laughing. she's funny also sia. i think eventually she's gonna be one of those ppl in my life who can make me laugh just by looking at them.

i like this part !
me: *telling ghost story* then jocenda kater dia nampak ader budak tengan duduk kat computer, tengan--
sery: tengan main computer?

omg, for some reason i laughed like shit sia! i couldnt stop laughing when she said tht ! the way she said it is like, funny shit la.

talked a lot with her, cos she was at megaplay while i was at ballocity, so our stations were side by side. i seriously laughed a lot with her sia!

but i couldnt stay there for long cos i was floater. decided to walk around the stations, talking to all the other ppl. first, went to ballpool where syeera was at. talked many randoms as always ah, hahahah. then went entrance, where changyuan was at.

finally managed to converse with him! he's also an NA student, from dunman. i was like, hm not bad. then went to AH, where nasrul was at. talked abt NA stuff too.

o yeah, at one part, syeera, sery and i were at ballpool. i forgot what were the circumstances tht made all 3 of us in tht station. but tht part was funny ah, syeera telling us abt the adult who buried himself in the balls. omg. we were laughing like shit sia!

eons later came the pm ppl. yongheng came and sat next to me, then sery was like talking in malay to me abt how weird the dude looked.

me: deni selenge tau. *with yong heng right next to me*
sery: *smiling away* *turn to yongheng* you understand malay?
yongheng: huh? no.

then sery started laughing like shit sia! funny ah, the way we were like making fun of him, right next to him, but then he's like so clueless. i'm such a douche arent i.

then yongheng showed us the rifqi dude. earlier on sery and i were wondering who's rifqi. i heard he's a male but his fb pic was female. so we were talking abt tht. he looks so damn chinese sia! like some ahbeng look. honestly ah.

sery cabot to ballpool aft tht, cos she was stationed to tht for the pm shift. (she was doing full shift) i was also stationed there, but i wanted to hang around for awhile. at 430 i had my breakkie.

ate at gr office for the first time ever, was reading my teen romance while snacking on me chicken from ock and all was peaceful and im like =_= when the door suddenly burst open. tht shocked the shit out of me and i jumped sia!

turned out to be syeera and farhan, who were wearing masks and gloves. i was staring at them like O.O they were yelling abt being doctor and nurse, and i was like WHAT HAPPENED !? i laughed like shit when farhan said, "changyuan beranak!"

hm what next ah? k ah, we just fast forward la. at 8, went to clock out. no, actually i walked around some more before clocking out, disturb the rest. wani and gin were in the ops office, when i went in, wani was like, HI EINDAH !!! and im like O.O

blah3, went paya lebar, blah3, blah3, blah3, blah3, blah3, i am home .



thinking abt my previous and current relationships,i was really deprived of a lot during the previous one. i know MKI cared for me uh, but if he really understood me he should have at least allow me to go for walks. occasionally pon jadi la sia.

i'm glad i chose my job over him then . i'm really very glad. the people here are just... i just... i love them all so much! T.T