long day today! although i aint even halfway thru.
woke up at 10 sia, which was the time tht khai told me to meet him. at first i was like, oh its ten. i went back to sleep, only gg into a shock a few seconds later. teros jumped out of bed and ran to grab my clothes and into the toilet, haha.
kay, last night's dream was awesome! was abt sch though, ive been dreaming abt sch a lot these days ever since my last day in the building on thursday. i rmb it being cca day cos i saw uniformed groups lined up by the parade square.
i recall seeing mr syafie , i rmb talking to him tgt with asleah, and they were like joking away when i decided to go to our old humans room, to "see who is occupying it this year" . i saw some random bespectacled kid coming out of the room.
hafiz came along, and we tagged team battle against the kids in the room, haha! in the end we won the fight and we managed to get tht classr back. and all was like normal, geog lessons in the humans room on the first floor.
i forgot what we did inside eh , but i see it. i recall the tables all joined as one long table in the middle of the room and we were all gathered around it laughing . yes it was ms poh!
hm. then what? oh yeah, and then i was standing by the spiral staircase between the classr blocks near the toilet again. some sec one or sec two boy was talking to me abt the UGs horse race. smth like tht .
and then, someone whom i cant recognize, told me tht none of the npcc representatives showed up. and tht no signs of npcc ppl anywhere in the sch. tht was when i had this inkling to represent npcc! hahaha.
yeah this part was fun. there was a stable behind the humans room. and i was thinking of which horse to ride. i rmb thinking to myself, "oh choose the one who is of same height or taller." and then i went to this beautiful horse the colour of midnight. and it was majestic, absolute beautiful thing. like a rapidash!
then i rode her down to the ish. damn awesome sia the feeling! ok, im very excited. hehehe! i rmb steering her over past the dnt rooms. wow. serious shit, tht feeling was damn bloody awesome.
k, im done abt my dreams. currently at mac with my khairul baby. he's feeding me fries, heheh. his hand was warm, that was my hot chocolate on this rainy day. ^^ hi khairul, i love you!
hi Eindah!! i love you too!!!
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Day One of Filming
...was a success! although yes it rained, we still managed to film certain stuff from the beginning of my imagination, hehe. im sooo grateful to the girls cos they were willing to be my models.
met up with siying at bk, waited for asleah for eons cos she was taking her own sweet time, and then she came and we all bought our food. just Nice it was our recess time, aka the time tht i can eat alr .
blah3, when we were done, we went to romantic place, asleah with her umbrella and siying and i with hoodsup! hahaha. k this is a short update, i shall continue later. nak edit videos. hehe. excited!
met up with siying at bk, waited for asleah for eons cos she was taking her own sweet time, and then she came and we all bought our food. just Nice it was our recess time, aka the time tht i can eat alr .
blah3, when we were done, we went to romantic place, asleah with her umbrella and siying and i with hoodsup! hahaha. k this is a short update, i shall continue later. nak edit videos. hehe. excited!
Monday, October 10, 2011
my family's full names.
hm, this is difficult, cos u seem to know everything abt me. and like i said, i find it difficult to say things abt myself, ppl either ask or observe. but i shall try . oh he just Gave me smth to tell. my family's full names !
my father: Md E'esa Bin Nordin
my mommy: Nor Azlina Bte Md Arif
my older bro: Muhammad Naqib E'zuwan Bin Md E'esa
my younger bruh: Muhammad Nazriq E'irfan Bin Md E'esa
k dah. what else? hm.......... did you know tht i was last in class in sec 1 and 2? k nvm this is more towards my past. i think this is all for today, khai just Told me to sleep -_-
my father: Md E'esa Bin Nordin
my mommy: Nor Azlina Bte Md Arif
my older bro: Muhammad Naqib E'zuwan Bin Md E'esa
my younger bruh: Muhammad Nazriq E'irfan Bin Md E'esa
k dah. what else? hm.......... did you know tht i was last in class in sec 1 and 2? k nvm this is more towards my past. i think this is all for today, khai just Told me to sleep -_-
busy, busy! so many things to do, so little seconds on the clock. deadline for project SFS is on friday!! friday ! ah! got so pissed this morning cos of the weather. yes, i disliked the weather, but i still appreciate it.
tmrw, it better not rain tmrw! i sooo need to do this ok. ive been wanting to do this for an extremely long time, too long! i needa focus. *determined face*
so right now, all i can do is listen to its song on repeat, and tryta imagine first. which... is smth tht i alr have been doing since i first heard this song. oh well! familiarize.
tmrw, it better not rain tmrw! i sooo need to do this ok. ive been wanting to do this for an extremely long time, too long! i needa focus. *determined face*
so right now, all i can do is listen to its song on repeat, and tryta imagine first. which... is smth tht i alr have been doing since i first heard this song. oh well! familiarize.
i've been looking at some 2010 photos. i really miss the times when all eight of us were like camwhoring in the classrooms during recess and all tht. damn. effing miss the girls. this the first pic we all ever took tgt as a whole, and with no extras (eg phyllis and qianying)
and all the outings with any of the girls, cos tht time i didnt have any preferences for anyone. and the birthday bash for siying, and when we played water and picnicked at prp, and played by the beach. and went to pearl's house to watch movie aft monopoly.
and the best was megamind! we all planned tht tgt. like shit pulak tu. we worked hard, and then we played hard ^^ i still rmb how excited we were over Movie Day! and i rmb tht i even announced it during flag raising haha. and, it was my first day with new specs!
oh yeah..... cliquey movie day was awesome.
i better plan another outing before it becomes a year since all 8 of us went out tgt. yes, it's all up to me now!
and all the outings with any of the girls, cos tht time i didnt have any preferences for anyone. and the birthday bash for siying, and when we played water and picnicked at prp, and played by the beach. and went to pearl's house to watch movie aft monopoly.
and the best was megamind! we all planned tht tgt. like shit pulak tu. we worked hard, and then we played hard ^^ i still rmb how excited we were over Movie Day! and i rmb tht i even announced it during flag raising haha. and, it was my first day with new specs!
oh yeah..... cliquey movie day was awesome.
i better plan another outing before it becomes a year since all 8 of us went out tgt. yes, it's all up to me now!
Friday, October 07, 2011
this is in response to khairul's blog post.
i've told you many times, i wont leave you. i've still got one more year in this sch, you can have ur eye on me, and aft my O's, ill take care of myself. i wont go anywhere. you'll say tht it's what i say now, but ive told u many many times tht i wont leave you for anyone else.
cos, there's really this smth abt you, tht makes me very very sure tht i wanna be with you for the rest of my life. ive said it a lot of times, and im very sure of it. very, very sure. you changed me, i discovered many things tht i never knew i was, i became someone tht i should have been a long time ago. and i am not just Saying this.
k, this is all tht i will say now. if ive got anything else, they would all be in diary. the little red notebook tht one of my best friends got for my 16th bday~
i've told you many times, i wont leave you. i've still got one more year in this sch, you can have ur eye on me, and aft my O's, ill take care of myself. i wont go anywhere. you'll say tht it's what i say now, but ive told u many many times tht i wont leave you for anyone else.
cos, there's really this smth abt you, tht makes me very very sure tht i wanna be with you for the rest of my life. ive said it a lot of times, and im very sure of it. very, very sure. you changed me, i discovered many things tht i never knew i was, i became someone tht i should have been a long time ago. and i am not just Saying this.
k, this is all tht i will say now. if ive got anything else, they would all be in diary. the little red notebook tht one of my best friends got for my 16th bday~
Monday, October 03, 2011
Saturday, October 01, 2011
Last Day of 4/2 ):
hello! ytd was last day with 4/2. boohoo. as in normal sch day. next week are n levels' remaining papers. sigh ! i am freaking out sia. damn stress.
ytd was damn touching. ive got footage, but i have yet to edit. because i have no time, cant afford to lose anymore seconds. i'm allowing the clock tick in my face..
pictures from ytd !
and i got suspended from class ytd. siying told me everyone asked abt me, like sho shweet!
then during self study, everyone was camwhoring but i was at my desk with one black face. manfred came to me and was like,"eh last day of sch eh. can dont be so sad or not? be happy eh, smile eh. and stop being so bloody stubborn can or not? oy smile lah, go there join them take picture." sho shweet, hehe!
timothy injured his foot and couldnt walk, and nicholas piggybacked him , damn bloody shweet sia. felt as if the whole sch was ours, cos it was damn empty and our class was the only used one at the second level. so yeahh.
aft p.e, we all camwhored like shit, only left the sch at like one hour aft the final bell rang. damn bloody shweet. i'm gonna miss them all like fuck.
we shall let the vid do the rest of the talking, here u go !
ytd was damn touching. ive got footage, but i have yet to edit. because i have no time, cant afford to lose anymore seconds. i'm allowing the clock tick in my face..
pictures from ytd !
and i got suspended from class ytd. siying told me everyone asked abt me, like sho shweet!
then during self study, everyone was camwhoring but i was at my desk with one black face. manfred came to me and was like,"eh last day of sch eh. can dont be so sad or not? be happy eh, smile eh. and stop being so bloody stubborn can or not? oy smile lah, go there join them take picture." sho shweet, hehe!
timothy injured his foot and couldnt walk, and nicholas piggybacked him , damn bloody shweet sia. felt as if the whole sch was ours, cos it was damn empty and our class was the only used one at the second level. so yeahh.
aft p.e, we all camwhored like shit, only left the sch at like one hour aft the final bell rang. damn bloody shweet. i'm gonna miss them all like fuck.
we shall let the vid do the rest of the talking, here u go !
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
some random quiz !
the person i like and why i like them.
khairul irfan. why? hm i dont want to make this post panjang lebar (; but i like cos i love!
a famous person i’ve been compared to.
this bitch named eindah wrister.
5 things that irritate me about the same sex/opposite sex.
hm dont really have any. i appreciate the way God created us.
the best thing that has happened to me this week.
the fact tht i have woken up to a brand new day for 7 mornings.
weird things i do when i’m alone.
dance randomly to songs tht is either playing or stuck in my head. k actually a lot, esp when im like alone at home. hehe.
how i’d spend ten thousand bucks.
i'd buy all the videography equipment, and the rest most probs on food.
things i like and things i don’t like about the way i look.
i like everything. i dislike nothing.
my last night out in detail.
i shall do this later.
something that makes me sad when i think about it.
the fact tht i cause ppl problems all the time.
something i’ve lied about.
i have never lied in my entire life before.
:p
would i rather be stranded on a desert island with someone i love for ten years or someone i hate for a month? explain why.
someone i hate for a month. because, we shall take tht chance to bond with each other, get to know each other better, and eventually we will love each other. instead of being with someone i love for ten years, cos who knows what might happen?
something i’m currently worrying about.
khai leaving me.
something i do without realising.
upset people/make them angry.
lyrics that apply to my current situation/mood.
Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life" !
something i regret.
having called my bf an asshole.
post a picture of myself.
*shall post later*
my longest relationship and who it was with.
from june 2011 to current, khairul irfan.
post a bit of my last IM convo.
*shall post later*
5 things i want to change.
nothing. i dont want anything to change.
someone i’d like to be for a day and why.
i'd be the love of my life, and think the way he thinks.
5 things within touching distance.
asleah's wallet. the mouse. my sch bag. the sch printer. the comp lab door.
story of my first kiss.
the first one with MKI , was at cc before my maths tuition. he had my hoodie wrapped across his eyes, so hot!
khairul irfan. why? hm i dont want to make this post panjang lebar (; but i like cos i love!
a famous person i’ve been compared to.
this bitch named eindah wrister.
5 things that irritate me about the same sex/opposite sex.
hm dont really have any. i appreciate the way God created us.
the best thing that has happened to me this week.
the fact tht i have woken up to a brand new day for 7 mornings.
weird things i do when i’m alone.
dance randomly to songs tht is either playing or stuck in my head. k actually a lot, esp when im like alone at home. hehe.
how i’d spend ten thousand bucks.
i'd buy all the videography equipment, and the rest most probs on food.
things i like and things i don’t like about the way i look.
i like everything. i dislike nothing.
my last night out in detail.
i shall do this later.
something that makes me sad when i think about it.
the fact tht i cause ppl problems all the time.
something i’ve lied about.
i have never lied in my entire life before.
:p
would i rather be stranded on a desert island with someone i love for ten years or someone i hate for a month? explain why.
someone i hate for a month. because, we shall take tht chance to bond with each other, get to know each other better, and eventually we will love each other. instead of being with someone i love for ten years, cos who knows what might happen?
something i’m currently worrying about.
khai leaving me.
something i do without realising.
upset people/make them angry.
lyrics that apply to my current situation/mood.
Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life" !
something i regret.
having called my bf an asshole.
post a picture of myself.
*shall post later*
my longest relationship and who it was with.
from june 2011 to current, khairul irfan.
post a bit of my last IM convo.
*shall post later*
5 things i want to change.
nothing. i dont want anything to change.
someone i’d like to be for a day and why.
i'd be the love of my life, and think the way he thinks.
5 things within touching distance.
asleah's wallet. the mouse. my sch bag. the sch printer. the comp lab door.
story of my first kiss.
the first one with MKI , was at cc before my maths tuition. he had my hoodie wrapped across his eyes, so hot!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
an indigo feline?
i hope he tells me everything. i'm alr upset tht all along he had been sleeping with smth she gave him , but i let go of tht. i wasnt happy with the fact tht he refuses to throw them away bcos they are memories, but i let go of tht.
well anywayys ...
i'm desperate for so many things tht i'm deprived of ! T.T oh except food, yes food. kk, let's do a little bit more researching for art before hunting down for chemicals.
jenny always makes my day aft a long day at sch, hehe. when khai doesnt send me home ah, cos when he does then we usually dont walk by jenny's spot. jenny is a cat at elias btw. up to now i still have no idea what color she is, but i like to say tht she's purple.
imagine tht! a purple cat. beautiful isnt it ?
well anywayys ...
i'm desperate for so many things tht i'm deprived of ! T.T oh except food, yes food. kk, let's do a little bit more researching for art before hunting down for chemicals.
jenny always makes my day aft a long day at sch, hehe. when khai doesnt send me home ah, cos when he does then we usually dont walk by jenny's spot. jenny is a cat at elias btw. up to now i still have no idea what color she is, but i like to say tht she's purple.
imagine tht! a purple cat. beautiful isnt it ?
Sunday, September 25, 2011
September ppl !
hello! i am studying now. but will do a very quick update before gg back to my physics.
ytd had bday celebration with father's side relatives at cik o's house . as in, a void deck near his house. dress code was casual , so i wore my usual tee+hoodie+skinnies combi , but this time with me nike shoes .
my dad told me to wear them cos my cousins hasnt seen me in those before , and tht he wants me to show off on this occasion. yes, tht shows how not-rich we really are, if u were to compare my father's family with his siblings.
well anyways . upon reaching, salam everyone, then my dad and i straightway went to rivervale mall to use the toilet. he told me stories as always, which proves his blurblock-ness. at the end of it, i was like, "oh nowanda i so blurblock, cos i follow you."
then we reached the toilets, the female and male were like next to each other. we were both like, "eh yours is tht one! dont go wrong way ah! cos u blurblock." hahahaha. k u dont get it. but i was laughing to myself in the cubicle haha . i love my father sia.
when we got back, everyone had started eating so we joined. i ate a lot, and then i ate desserts too. hehe.
okokok, let's just Summarize a little. laughed at my uncles and aunts a lot, with all my cousies, and camwhored a lot too . every family gathering is always damn chaotic, cos my dad has like 12 siblings. so it's fun!
k here are some random camwhore pics...
went off somewhere to camwhore with maya, so many failed jumpshots.
kk, seriously gotta go back to summarizing.
in short, i had a lot of fun with my relatives. they were also celebrating my birthday, as belated. ^^
btw! imma be posting on 19th sept. so look down to check if there's any edits to my 19th sept post. imma go back to my studying now. 3rd oct - physics/chemistry. 4th oct - maths p1/art. 6th oct - maths p2/geog. wish me all the best. imma put in a million efforts for the ppl around me.
i let it all out to khairul last night. i'm so glad i did. i feel so much better now, i dont feel affected by the past anymore. thank you khairul. thank you for listening to me. i love you so much .
ytd had bday celebration with father's side relatives at cik o's house . as in, a void deck near his house. dress code was casual , so i wore my usual tee+hoodie+skinnies combi , but this time with me nike shoes .
my dad told me to wear them cos my cousins hasnt seen me in those before , and tht he wants me to show off on this occasion. yes, tht shows how not-rich we really are, if u were to compare my father's family with his siblings.
well anyways . upon reaching, salam everyone, then my dad and i straightway went to rivervale mall to use the toilet. he told me stories as always, which proves his blurblock-ness. at the end of it, i was like, "oh nowanda i so blurblock, cos i follow you."
then we reached the toilets, the female and male were like next to each other. we were both like, "eh yours is tht one! dont go wrong way ah! cos u blurblock." hahahaha. k u dont get it. but i was laughing to myself in the cubicle haha . i love my father sia.
when we got back, everyone had started eating so we joined. i ate a lot, and then i ate desserts too. hehe.
okokok, let's just Summarize a little. laughed at my uncles and aunts a lot, with all my cousies, and camwhored a lot too . every family gathering is always damn chaotic, cos my dad has like 12 siblings. so it's fun!
k here are some random camwhore pics...
went off somewhere to camwhore with maya, so many failed jumpshots.
kk, seriously gotta go back to summarizing.
in short, i had a lot of fun with my relatives. they were also celebrating my birthday, as belated. ^^
btw! imma be posting on 19th sept. so look down to check if there's any edits to my 19th sept post. imma go back to my studying now. 3rd oct - physics/chemistry. 4th oct - maths p1/art. 6th oct - maths p2/geog. wish me all the best. imma put in a million efforts for the ppl around me.
i let it all out to khairul last night. i'm so glad i did. i feel so much better now, i dont feel affected by the past anymore. thank you khairul. thank you for listening to me. i love you so much .
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
i really really need him right now. vomitted, and all the while i just Wanted him by my side. idk why but my stomach was the one who got upset aft khairul went offline. now it's torturing me, i'm so in pain, but i cant do anything abt it.
it's just Nausea i think. i hope tht's it . and i hope it'll be gone very very soon.
it's just Nausea i think. i hope tht's it . and i hope it'll be gone very very soon.
Monday, September 19, 2011
my 16th birthday! *editted*
i have promised khairul to blog abt today. but idk whether he wants in details or what , so imma just Put it on hold til tmrw.
today was awesome :D
--------------
k hi, yes i have editted. i shall pretend tht i am typing this on 19th sept.
aft sch, went sab's house cos she wanted to pass me bday pressie. had a lot of stuffs to carry, took bus with my khairul.
hm first went to eat domino with siying. asleah and shushan came as a surprise! so shweet sey, i nearly wanted to cry.
and then khairul came along, and he smelt good sia. ran for the 358, tht was funny! and he was carrying a can of coke! went to ehub to watch johnny english :D in the midst , khai got thirsty, passed him the coke and i was so damn scared to watch him open it sey!
aft movie went to the carpark rooftop to take a few photos . khai is so damn bloody handsome sia...
bought cup walker while waiting for khai to come out from toilet, was struggling to take out my wallet cos my stockings didnt hsve pockets and i was carrying lots of stuffs =.=
went prp, sat on his hoodie, i felt really bad abt tht. i was really fine with sitting on the grass but khai persisted. chatted abt random stuffs , and did a lot of stuffs (;
wrote "i love u" in the sand again. for khairul. at night, we played on the sand and he lifted me up and swung me around. tht was fun sia! and yes we kissed in the darkness as well ^^ by the waves. aaahh~
around 9 plus went out of the park. hahaha. i love my 16th bday so much. :D
today was awesome :D
--------------
k hi, yes i have editted. i shall pretend tht i am typing this on 19th sept.
aft sch, went sab's house cos she wanted to pass me bday pressie. had a lot of stuffs to carry, took bus with my khairul.
hm first went to eat domino with siying. asleah and shushan came as a surprise! so shweet sey, i nearly wanted to cry.
and then khairul came along, and he smelt good sia. ran for the 358, tht was funny! and he was carrying a can of coke! went to ehub to watch johnny english :D in the midst , khai got thirsty, passed him the coke and i was so damn scared to watch him open it sey!
aft movie went to the carpark rooftop to take a few photos . khai is so damn bloody handsome sia...
bought cup walker while waiting for khai to come out from toilet, was struggling to take out my wallet cos my stockings didnt hsve pockets and i was carrying lots of stuffs =.=
went prp, sat on his hoodie, i felt really bad abt tht. i was really fine with sitting on the grass but khai persisted. chatted abt random stuffs , and did a lot of stuffs (;
wrote "i love u" in the sand again. for khairul. at night, we played on the sand and he lifted me up and swung me around. tht was fun sia! and yes we kissed in the darkness as well ^^ by the waves. aaahh~
around 9 plus went out of the park. hahaha. i love my 16th bday so much. :D
Sunday, September 18, 2011
appreciation.
the floor is a beautiful thing.
aha! made u look. made u look and made u think abt its beauty.
the pieces of the floor are beautifully pieced together arent they? even if ur floor aint tiles, it still is a work of art isnt it? you sit , lie down, step on the floor. the floor is always there to give you support. if it isnt there, you'll fall below.
it's a work of art, and a pillar of support. yet why isnt it appreciated? you step on it every day, you stamp ur feet when you're angry, you jump on it when you're happy. the least u could do is lie down on it from time to time and stare at the light together with it.
yeah thts right. the light. the floor looks at the light everyday, tht is where it gets its hope from. we've got the sun, but some ppl dont appreciate tht either.
if u listen very carefully, the floor has a heartbeat. i know the one tht i heard was mine, but i pretend tht it's the floor. its heartbeat is steady. it assures me tht the floor is fine. it saddens me if i get reminded tht the floor actually has no heartbeat...
so, every now and then, lie down on the floor, on your stomach, and just Listen. the floor would be very happy to have you looking at its source of hope tgt with it, bcos im sure tht u seldom look at ur ceiling light as well, right?
when u lie down at first, it's cold, yes. but when u get up, feel the area where u lied down on. it's warm.
and the floor is contented.
from time to time, do things tht show ppl/pets/objects tht u appreciate them. just Imagine how life would be like without them at all. and appreciate the fact tht others appreciate u as well.
appreciation is just Important to let others know u regard their presence and are glad tht they are there.
aha! made u look. made u look and made u think abt its beauty.
the pieces of the floor are beautifully pieced together arent they? even if ur floor aint tiles, it still is a work of art isnt it? you sit , lie down, step on the floor. the floor is always there to give you support. if it isnt there, you'll fall below.
it's a work of art, and a pillar of support. yet why isnt it appreciated? you step on it every day, you stamp ur feet when you're angry, you jump on it when you're happy. the least u could do is lie down on it from time to time and stare at the light together with it.
yeah thts right. the light. the floor looks at the light everyday, tht is where it gets its hope from. we've got the sun, but some ppl dont appreciate tht either.
if u listen very carefully, the floor has a heartbeat. i know the one tht i heard was mine, but i pretend tht it's the floor. its heartbeat is steady. it assures me tht the floor is fine. it saddens me if i get reminded tht the floor actually has no heartbeat...
so, every now and then, lie down on the floor, on your stomach, and just Listen. the floor would be very happy to have you looking at its source of hope tgt with it, bcos im sure tht u seldom look at ur ceiling light as well, right?
when u lie down at first, it's cold, yes. but when u get up, feel the area where u lied down on. it's warm.
and the floor is contented.
from time to time, do things tht show ppl/pets/objects tht u appreciate them. just Imagine how life would be like without them at all. and appreciate the fact tht others appreciate u as well.
appreciation is just Important to let others know u regard their presence and are glad tht they are there.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
i love his eyes.
hello . asleah and siying had gone home ages ago. we slept at 5 aft rounds and rounds of DW7, only to wake up at 530 cos we wanted to go to mac's. i was talking in the dark with siying without even realizing. it felt so much like a dream!
smth happened to khai. i can tell . but he's not telling me and im wondering why.
hello . asleah and siying had gone home ages ago. we slept at 5 aft rounds and rounds of DW7, only to wake up at 530 cos we wanted to go to mac's. i was talking in the dark with siying without even realizing. it felt so much like a dream!
smth happened to khai. i can tell . but he's not telling me and im wondering why.
SLEEPOVER .
hello ! asleah and siying are over at my house right now. yes, they're sleeping over. fun sey! first time had a friend over for sleepover. friends.
so far we've chatted, talked abt boys, camwhored, laughed and played ps3 :D oh and studying of course. right now si ying is asleep and i am accompanying asleah to the toilet. supposedly gg to mac's at 530, but ive not slept yet.
i love these two so much sia. seriously. glad tht they were able to come over to spend time with me. ohh asleah is done!
well anyways, today had p.e. which was fun as always. i recorded as usual , but this time i joined halfway. i had a lot of fun sia defending, haha.
kk nak sleep. shall update u more on my life very very soon. hahah nights :DDDD
yes im having a lot of fun, but i still miss my khairul .
so far we've chatted, talked abt boys, camwhored, laughed and played ps3 :D oh and studying of course. right now si ying is asleep and i am accompanying asleah to the toilet. supposedly gg to mac's at 530, but ive not slept yet.
i love these two so much sia. seriously. glad tht they were able to come over to spend time with me. ohh asleah is done!
well anyways, today had p.e. which was fun as always. i recorded as usual , but this time i joined halfway. i had a lot of fun sia defending, haha.
kk nak sleep. shall update u more on my life very very soon. hahah nights :DDDD
yes im having a lot of fun, but i still miss my khairul .
Thursday, September 15, 2011
hello! been a while since i wrote abt my day. i shall do tht right now.
today, went to sch and then it started to get chaotic cos everyone was moving to the hall for morning assembly. waited for siying before making our way , then blah3, sec 4s had to sit in front, confirm cos of national anthem stuffs haha .
hm. not much ah , exam stuffs. at the end of it, syafie was like, sec 4s and 5s had to stay back, then the whole area where i was at moaned like shit. sian ah , kept talking abt our national exams and how we're running outta time blah3.
i was a good girl in art today . did my mindmap and sat there at the corner doing my sketches. hehe. kept looking at the opposite buildings cos looking for my khairul.
recess, i didnt want to eat cos wanted to share the hunger with him. he didnt bring money, but didnt want to borrow from me. but he told me to go eat, and in the end he won.
aft tht was physics, and we were late! we were walking at the parade sq when the bell rang, and i was like, "shit! we're late! we're late!" then like exaggerate lah, but i didnt rush for class either. and we all ended up late and getting lectured.
aft tht was one period of maths, which was relief cos ms huang didnt come. i did geog since i totally forgot to bring any maths stuff (apart from calcu) and then halfway asleah wanted to go toilet , so i just Followed her.
lunch, then mother tongue. mt was supposed to be slack cos there was no teachas relief-ing us for the rest of the year. so the 4NA malay peeps were like gathered tgt happily playing games when suddenly , 4/3's CL teacha came in.
she told 4/3 malay peeps to go back class , which they reluctantly did aft farhan and faiz tried to argue. then we continued playing, and like around 10 or 15 mins later, tht CL teacha came back -___- we were like, "alamak..."
this time we really argued like shit sia.voices were rising and everyone was just Joining in the argument. baik sey! but in the end we gave in. then all of us walked back to 4/2 classroom. we tried to loiter but she was watching from the 4th level -.-
we like homeless kids eh. thts one way to summarize the situation, kesian kan?
slacked with asleah and siying during 2nd period of mother tongue. i laughed a lot, but cant rmb why. i love those two, heh. then english, went comp lab to play as well :D
in other words, if we had just Gone home aft maths , our time would have been better spent -_-
during english funny sey. everyone was like damn kecoh sia. hm, then aft the last bell for the day rang, went to wait for my khai at the bus stop to go home tgt. talked random stuff at bus stop, then on the bus.
then went to his lepak place and kissed, and during tht final hug for the day , i wanted to cry. yes, it did feel like a long time ago. we progressed so much :D
oh yes. when i was walking home, a leaf dropped from its tree, and it floated right in front of me as it was falling. i watched it ah. i watched the wind blow it to the road divider. and the leaf got stuck there. it wasnt able to go over tht wall, but it still kept slamming itself against tht wall with the help from the wind.
but eventually, the wind just Stopped blowing.
and the leaf was stuck there, for the rest of its little life.
i was sad. i almost cried on the spot, but i just Started walking again, and told myself not to cry. so i didnt.
today, went to sch and then it started to get chaotic cos everyone was moving to the hall for morning assembly. waited for siying before making our way , then blah3, sec 4s had to sit in front, confirm cos of national anthem stuffs haha .
hm. not much ah , exam stuffs. at the end of it, syafie was like, sec 4s and 5s had to stay back, then the whole area where i was at moaned like shit. sian ah , kept talking abt our national exams and how we're running outta time blah3.
i was a good girl in art today . did my mindmap and sat there at the corner doing my sketches. hehe. kept looking at the opposite buildings cos looking for my khairul.
recess, i didnt want to eat cos wanted to share the hunger with him. he didnt bring money, but didnt want to borrow from me. but he told me to go eat, and in the end he won.
aft tht was physics, and we were late! we were walking at the parade sq when the bell rang, and i was like, "shit! we're late! we're late!" then like exaggerate lah, but i didnt rush for class either. and we all ended up late and getting lectured.
aft tht was one period of maths, which was relief cos ms huang didnt come. i did geog since i totally forgot to bring any maths stuff (apart from calcu) and then halfway asleah wanted to go toilet , so i just Followed her.
lunch, then mother tongue. mt was supposed to be slack cos there was no teachas relief-ing us for the rest of the year. so the 4NA malay peeps were like gathered tgt happily playing games when suddenly , 4/3's CL teacha came in.
she told 4/3 malay peeps to go back class , which they reluctantly did aft farhan and faiz tried to argue. then we continued playing, and like around 10 or 15 mins later, tht CL teacha came back -___- we were like, "alamak..."
this time we really argued like shit sia.voices were rising and everyone was just Joining in the argument. baik sey! but in the end we gave in. then all of us walked back to 4/2 classroom. we tried to loiter but she was watching from the 4th level -.-
we like homeless kids eh. thts one way to summarize the situation, kesian kan?
slacked with asleah and siying during 2nd period of mother tongue. i laughed a lot, but cant rmb why. i love those two, heh. then english, went comp lab to play as well :D
in other words, if we had just Gone home aft maths , our time would have been better spent -_-
during english funny sey. everyone was like damn kecoh sia. hm, then aft the last bell for the day rang, went to wait for my khai at the bus stop to go home tgt. talked random stuff at bus stop, then on the bus.
then went to his lepak place and kissed, and during tht final hug for the day , i wanted to cry. yes, it did feel like a long time ago. we progressed so much :D
oh yes. when i was walking home, a leaf dropped from its tree, and it floated right in front of me as it was falling. i watched it ah. i watched the wind blow it to the road divider. and the leaf got stuck there. it wasnt able to go over tht wall, but it still kept slamming itself against tht wall with the help from the wind.
but eventually, the wind just Stopped blowing.
and the leaf was stuck there, for the rest of its little life.
i was sad. i almost cried on the spot, but i just Started walking again, and told myself not to cry. so i didnt.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
tonight, im sleeping in the dark. with the lights off and the door shut. i'll turn off the fan, put on socks, three layers of clothing, blankie over me, and curl like a foetus.
let's make believe tht i've never even been born yet... cos life was so simple.
first impressions really matter a lot. the world was beautiful when u first saw it. opening up ur eyes, was like, was like. it's indescribable. it's amazing . it's irreplaceable.
but u had to grow up. life had to show its true colours. it got ugly. it got unbearable. it became a monster. it was rainbows and sunshine at first, but it's become the dark alley in the wee hours aft midnight. why?
let's make believe tht i've never even been born yet... cos life was so simple.
first impressions really matter a lot. the world was beautiful when u first saw it. opening up ur eyes, was like, was like. it's indescribable. it's amazing . it's irreplaceable.
but u had to grow up. life had to show its true colours. it got ugly. it got unbearable. it became a monster. it was rainbows and sunshine at first, but it's become the dark alley in the wee hours aft midnight. why?
k, im upset.
my diary's not with me, so imma just Make do with my bloggie. i'm writing a letter to Muhammad Naqib E'zuwan.
dear older brother of mine,
you. are my older brother. yet, why do you not treat me like ur younger sister? when was the last time we had a hearty conversation full of smiles and laughs? yes, i dont remember too.
u used to make fun of me all the time. u used to laugh at me when i got scolded by mom. u used to smack me when i did smth wrong. u used to teach me maths. u used to play childish games with me. u used to tell me super lame jokes.
in other words, u used to love me.
when was the last time u appreciated my presence? i've wished u happy birthday every year, be it via mom or dad or cards slipped under ur bedroom door. i dont rmb having failed to wish u being one year older. only once.
idk why u changed. u had a girlfriend. ur hits got harder and harder. you became silent. u shut urself in ur room all day. at night, u shifted to ur own room aft years of sleeping next to me.
shit. right now, all the memories flashing in my head. i must have barely been 9. i'd like to list out all the memories i rmb right now, but they're too large in amt. and i'd rather u rmb those times on ur own rather than i remind u.
when was the last time i called u my bro? i dont rmb. we addressed each other as aku kau. i dont rmb being called Adik by you anymore too. only our little nazriq is addressed as tht in this house, but thts another story .
....i really really miss you. u're letting ur friends affect ur relationship with us; ur family. why? come on lah. i know u're way smarter than tht sey. i know tht u know how much we love you. u just Forced urself to forget. idk what makes u think our parents dont love you. they love u like hell.
i love you like hell. i love you like fuck. i miss you like fuck.
please regard me as your sister again please?
please regard us as your family again please?
please ?
my diary's not with me, so imma just Make do with my bloggie. i'm writing a letter to Muhammad Naqib E'zuwan.
dear older brother of mine,
you. are my older brother. yet, why do you not treat me like ur younger sister? when was the last time we had a hearty conversation full of smiles and laughs? yes, i dont remember too.
u used to make fun of me all the time. u used to laugh at me when i got scolded by mom. u used to smack me when i did smth wrong. u used to teach me maths. u used to play childish games with me. u used to tell me super lame jokes.
in other words, u used to love me.
when was the last time u appreciated my presence? i've wished u happy birthday every year, be it via mom or dad or cards slipped under ur bedroom door. i dont rmb having failed to wish u being one year older. only once.
idk why u changed. u had a girlfriend. ur hits got harder and harder. you became silent. u shut urself in ur room all day. at night, u shifted to ur own room aft years of sleeping next to me.
shit. right now, all the memories flashing in my head. i must have barely been 9. i'd like to list out all the memories i rmb right now, but they're too large in amt. and i'd rather u rmb those times on ur own rather than i remind u.
when was the last time i called u my bro? i dont rmb. we addressed each other as aku kau. i dont rmb being called Adik by you anymore too. only our little nazriq is addressed as tht in this house, but thts another story .
....i really really miss you. u're letting ur friends affect ur relationship with us; ur family. why? come on lah. i know u're way smarter than tht sey. i know tht u know how much we love you. u just Forced urself to forget. idk what makes u think our parents dont love you. they love u like hell.
i love you like hell. i love you like fuck. i miss you like fuck.
please regard me as your sister again please?
please regard us as your family again please?
please ?
i love him a lot .
but i know i aint trying hard enough.
he's apathetic. i just Know it. i can sense tht he wants to leave, very very soon. and i'm scared. why do people become more clumsy when they're scared ? oh yes, they shiver so much tht they just Become butterfingers. dont you think so?
but i shouldnt be like tht... the more scared i am , the more i must have the courage to replace this fear.
but i know i aint trying hard enough.
he's apathetic. i just Know it. i can sense tht he wants to leave, very very soon. and i'm scared. why do people become more clumsy when they're scared ? oh yes, they shiver so much tht they just Become butterfingers. dont you think so?
but i shouldnt be like tht... the more scared i am , the more i must have the courage to replace this fear.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
the Girl with the Strange Dreams .
i found an old notebook of mine. here's a complete story tht i wrote in it, dated 28th october 2010.
------------------------------------------
She's always having dreams.
In those dreams, strange things always happen. Last night she saw butterflies that looked like prawns. The night before, there were billions of green stars outside her bedroom window. Right now she's telling me about her latest dream, the one she had last night.
She says cats were being kidnapped by one male feline, and it even told its motive to her. She can't remember that part - not yet at least. She told me all traces of her dreams would vanish upon her waking up. These 'memories' always return to her slowly, at times it took months. Years, even.
The other day she was just telling me that she suddenly recalled a dream she had when she was a child. She knew it was a dream she had then, because "all the keywords were similar", according to her. (though i do not know what that means)
Ever since I've known her, she's always doing strange things herself. Sometimes when she's talking to someone, she would suddenly stop her sentence and stare at the sky, as if thinking something.
It does seem kind of normal, but what mystifies me is the fact that she always does it in the middle of her conversation with someone. I did ask about it once, but as usual, i didn't understand her answer. I never did: She told me that she had a "deja vu-ic instinct" coming from her surroundings. But she didn't want to "recall an old dream", so she looked at the sky to avoid looking at the "deja vu Spot". That way, she wouldn't get the "Dream Headache".
The other day she was just telling me that she dreamt of me. She said that we were lying in the middle of a parking lot with four other friends, and we were watching the stars.
Of course, that wasn't the only time she had dreamt of me. She once said that I offered chocolate lollipops to everyone except for her, and before that, she told me a strange conversation we had together about one of the four friends.
"What was his answer?"
"Don't know."
"He rejected?"
"The opposite."
"He accepted?"
"Don't know."
She told me that her favourite dream was the one where she was waiting at the train station platform. She had waited for a very long time, and train after train took and left passengers, but whatever or whoever she was waiting for never came.
She stops.
"What's wrong?" I ask. But she remains wordless and continues looking up into the sky. And then she says, "The male cat told me that it wanted to "continue its breed". That's why it only kidnapped the female tortoiseshells."
----------------------------------------------
-the Girl with the Strange Dreams-
------------------------------------------
She's always having dreams.
In those dreams, strange things always happen. Last night she saw butterflies that looked like prawns. The night before, there were billions of green stars outside her bedroom window. Right now she's telling me about her latest dream, the one she had last night.
She says cats were being kidnapped by one male feline, and it even told its motive to her. She can't remember that part - not yet at least. She told me all traces of her dreams would vanish upon her waking up. These 'memories' always return to her slowly, at times it took months. Years, even.
The other day she was just telling me that she suddenly recalled a dream she had when she was a child. She knew it was a dream she had then, because "all the keywords were similar", according to her. (though i do not know what that means)
Ever since I've known her, she's always doing strange things herself. Sometimes when she's talking to someone, she would suddenly stop her sentence and stare at the sky, as if thinking something.
It does seem kind of normal, but what mystifies me is the fact that she always does it in the middle of her conversation with someone. I did ask about it once, but as usual, i didn't understand her answer. I never did: She told me that she had a "deja vu-ic instinct" coming from her surroundings. But she didn't want to "recall an old dream", so she looked at the sky to avoid looking at the "deja vu Spot". That way, she wouldn't get the "Dream Headache".
The other day she was just telling me that she dreamt of me. She said that we were lying in the middle of a parking lot with four other friends, and we were watching the stars.
Of course, that wasn't the only time she had dreamt of me. She once said that I offered chocolate lollipops to everyone except for her, and before that, she told me a strange conversation we had together about one of the four friends.
"What was his answer?"
"Don't know."
"He rejected?"
"The opposite."
"He accepted?"
"Don't know."
She told me that her favourite dream was the one where she was waiting at the train station platform. She had waited for a very long time, and train after train took and left passengers, but whatever or whoever she was waiting for never came.
She stops.
"What's wrong?" I ask. But she remains wordless and continues looking up into the sky. And then she says, "The male cat told me that it wanted to "continue its breed". That's why it only kidnapped the female tortoiseshells."
----------------------------------------------
-the Girl with the Strange Dreams-
Sunday, September 11, 2011
quick update !
i've got guests!
today's my mom's birthday , went out in the morn to buy her pressie and cake. met khai when i was done, cos turned out tht he was able to join me! so blah3, bought him cookies, he was like so damn happy to have had received them. heh.
walked to bus interchange to take 81, talking and laughing all the way, abt random stuff. and then on the bus, chit chatted also. he was like a hyper baby boy sia! haha, i also missed him anywayys, so i knew how he felt lah.
alighted at his house, he went to take the gift tht he bought for me last night. it was an angry bird thumbdrive! with a sweet note, so touching sey. cos our 3rd month was on friday the 9th. hehe.
my mom literally screamed when i gave her the wallet! damn, i should have recorded her reaction. priceless! i said it was from all 3 of us, me and my bros, which was so not true -_- but i had to , cos all of us are her children aft all . should have seen the blur looks on my bros' faces when my mom thanked them. haha.
weeeeell. i really hope maya would come. i really really miss her. i hope we can sleepover aft our national exams, she's like taking her Os and i'm like having my Ns. sigh.
oh have i told u how my first few papers went !? haha , surprisingly it went well. yes, including my ss. hhe, so proud lah. hmm. kk, gg off now. goodbye!
today's my mom's birthday , went out in the morn to buy her pressie and cake. met khai when i was done, cos turned out tht he was able to join me! so blah3, bought him cookies, he was like so damn happy to have had received them. heh.
walked to bus interchange to take 81, talking and laughing all the way, abt random stuff. and then on the bus, chit chatted also. he was like a hyper baby boy sia! haha, i also missed him anywayys, so i knew how he felt lah.
alighted at his house, he went to take the gift tht he bought for me last night. it was an angry bird thumbdrive! with a sweet note, so touching sey. cos our 3rd month was on friday the 9th. hehe.
my mom literally screamed when i gave her the wallet! damn, i should have recorded her reaction. priceless! i said it was from all 3 of us, me and my bros, which was so not true -_- but i had to , cos all of us are her children aft all . should have seen the blur looks on my bros' faces when my mom thanked them. haha.
weeeeell. i really hope maya would come. i really really miss her. i hope we can sleepover aft our national exams, she's like taking her Os and i'm like having my Ns. sigh.
oh have i told u how my first few papers went !? haha , surprisingly it went well. yes, including my ss. hhe, so proud lah. hmm. kk, gg off now. goodbye!
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
stuff tht i've done for you.
the things tht i have done for you , never in my entire life have i done all tht for anyone before . when u walked away from me , at first i went straight on home. but when i got to my gate, i turned back and ran aft you. i didnt bother abt my mom, yelling at me as it was nearly buka, or the lorries tht were like horning at me. i just Ran, cos all i wanted was to get to you.
my stamina is low, i nearly blacked out literally like halfway . but i just Ran and ran . i'm still stunned at how fast i ran tht day.
today i did the same. we had guests . my dad was coming home. but i still wanted to see you. i dodged cars, i didnt stop to pet any cats. i ran shortcuts, i skipped steps up the stairs. and today was a heavy day , if u get what i mean (for girls) .
i was thirsty , but i didnt have any money on me. i was sleepy, and i almost fell asleep on the cc floor while waiting for you. when u were there, i refrained myself from punching the wall , cos i alr promised u tht i wouldnt.
and then i followed u wherever u went. ive never done tht before. ive never followed anyone tht persistently when they're angry before. and it was risky as my dad could have been passing by anytime. but i didnt care, i just Followed .
then you turned around. you told me to go home. i didnt. you kept telling me to go home, and i kept refusing. a moment of silence later, you said, "if you love me, you go home now."
i obediently did. without any arguement. and i did went home straight. didnt loiter else where, which was smth i usually would have done.
my stamina is low, i nearly blacked out literally like halfway . but i just Ran and ran . i'm still stunned at how fast i ran tht day.
today i did the same. we had guests . my dad was coming home. but i still wanted to see you. i dodged cars, i didnt stop to pet any cats. i ran shortcuts, i skipped steps up the stairs. and today was a heavy day , if u get what i mean (for girls) .
i was thirsty , but i didnt have any money on me. i was sleepy, and i almost fell asleep on the cc floor while waiting for you. when u were there, i refrained myself from punching the wall , cos i alr promised u tht i wouldnt.
and then i followed u wherever u went. ive never done tht before. ive never followed anyone tht persistently when they're angry before. and it was risky as my dad could have been passing by anytime. but i didnt care, i just Followed .
then you turned around. you told me to go home. i didnt. you kept telling me to go home, and i kept refusing. a moment of silence later, you said, "if you love me, you go home now."
i obediently did. without any arguement. and i did went home straight. didnt loiter else where, which was smth i usually would have done.
Sunday, September 04, 2011
a horrible cookie....
shit, i forgot to blog abt last night's dream.
for once in a super long time for all i can rmb, i slept early :D and i didnt wake up in the middle of the night! had a long dream, which many things i can rmb right now .
hm, but i dont rmb order.
ok, i just Rmb being at hhome with a few guests from my mother's side. no actually i only rmb kak siti. and in the dream, spike was actually her cat originally O: kk, then we were like slacking at the kitchen when i saw a kitten hanging at the window.
i was like, omg what is it dg there, and then i took it down. it was an orang tabby, its fur was damn bloody soft. i rmb it running its paws up and down my chest as i was carrying it. and then spike came in pulak.
kak siti teros took spike and embraced it and started saying stuff like, "ive not seen u in such a long time!" , and then i rmb telling myself "hard to believe tht she's really spike's original owner." and then i went into my room.
there were a buncha cookies on the table. my mom was there, she told me to try the one tht looks like snowballs. for as long as i can rmb, tht was the very first time i ever tasted smth in my dream. and damn tht cookie was horrible, truth be told. there was sugar and salt. xP
i sat at my desk, where my comp was turned on. saw tht khai had MSN-ed me. he had told me to go down like an hour ago. i replied, "ok can" and then i just Rushed out of the house again and i rmb gg to this place which i cant identify .
kk, thts all tht i rmb. for now.
sad thing is tht, i forgot what i remembered this morning.
for once in a super long time for all i can rmb, i slept early :D and i didnt wake up in the middle of the night! had a long dream, which many things i can rmb right now .
hm, but i dont rmb order.
ok, i just Rmb being at hhome with a few guests from my mother's side. no actually i only rmb kak siti. and in the dream, spike was actually her cat originally O: kk, then we were like slacking at the kitchen when i saw a kitten hanging at the window.
i was like, omg what is it dg there, and then i took it down. it was an orang tabby, its fur was damn bloody soft. i rmb it running its paws up and down my chest as i was carrying it. and then spike came in pulak.
kak siti teros took spike and embraced it and started saying stuff like, "ive not seen u in such a long time!" , and then i rmb telling myself "hard to believe tht she's really spike's original owner." and then i went into my room.
there were a buncha cookies on the table. my mom was there, she told me to try the one tht looks like snowballs. for as long as i can rmb, tht was the very first time i ever tasted smth in my dream. and damn tht cookie was horrible, truth be told. there was sugar and salt. xP
i sat at my desk, where my comp was turned on. saw tht khai had MSN-ed me. he had told me to go down like an hour ago. i replied, "ok can" and then i just Rushed out of the house again and i rmb gg to this place which i cant identify .
kk, thts all tht i rmb. for now.
sad thing is tht, i forgot what i remembered this morning.
TOMORROW.
tmrw is first N levels written paper . i'm damn scared. damn bloody the scared. and damn bloody stressed, cos the day aft is ss. im so glad tht khai decided to blaja tgt tmrw :D today i've been juggling malay, ss, and english. cos those are all the sept papers .
i've decided to just Give my best for ss . imma depend on my geog to pull up my humans. not tryna say tht i will anyhow do my ss on tuesday ah. i did study ok. wont completely neglect ss lah. english and malay considerably cleared ah.
k then the october papers. geog, phy, chemy, maths, art. art no problemo, ive got all my stuff alr. chemy is ok, just Have to memorize some formulas and run thru some stuff as revision. physics , better do some more stuff , idk why my prelims results were so bad.
which leaves me with maths. i was damn happy abt passing my prelims sia, serious shit. but im still worried abt it. hope i can maintain tht kind of results ah. or maybe higher. damn it lah. i aim distinctions for all the subjects can? i really2 wanna go sec 5 sia.
i've decided to just Give my best for ss . imma depend on my geog to pull up my humans. not tryna say tht i will anyhow do my ss on tuesday ah. i did study ok. wont completely neglect ss lah. english and malay considerably cleared ah.
k then the october papers. geog, phy, chemy, maths, art. art no problemo, ive got all my stuff alr. chemy is ok, just Have to memorize some formulas and run thru some stuff as revision. physics , better do some more stuff , idk why my prelims results were so bad.
which leaves me with maths. i was damn happy abt passing my prelims sia, serious shit. but im still worried abt it. hope i can maintain tht kind of results ah. or maybe higher. damn it lah. i aim distinctions for all the subjects can? i really2 wanna go sec 5 sia.
Saturday, September 03, 2011
i've been studying very hard. and i cried a lot last night. all i wanted was to see his face so i can get tht radiance to re-energize me... his smile is my only source of energy. really. so it disappoints me tht i got up early, forced myself not to fall back asleep , but for nothing.
i'm not complaining.
i'm saying out my feelings to make me feel better .
and i'm trying not to sulk. i'm trying to make it seem like it's ok. cos it should be, or not i'd be causing him problems again. ok, it's ok. doesnt matter tht i've got to go back to studying with the limited strength i have left.
nvm , two days ago, celebrated teacha day at sch. too lazy to update the little details, so here are some pics .
last night dream awesome shit. i had a shotgun. a bloody shotgun. and i was shooting zombies. i saw hizan, as in he was also shooting. got a lot others who were shooting but i dont rmb ah. only rmb him. cos i helped shoot a zombie tht was abt to attack him haha .
k dah. sudah malas.
i'm not complaining.
i'm saying out my feelings to make me feel better .
and i'm trying not to sulk. i'm trying to make it seem like it's ok. cos it should be, or not i'd be causing him problems again. ok, it's ok. doesnt matter tht i've got to go back to studying with the limited strength i have left.
nvm , two days ago, celebrated teacha day at sch. too lazy to update the little details, so here are some pics .
last night dream awesome shit. i had a shotgun. a bloody shotgun. and i was shooting zombies. i saw hizan, as in he was also shooting. got a lot others who were shooting but i dont rmb ah. only rmb him. cos i helped shoot a zombie tht was abt to attack him haha .
k dah. sudah malas.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
random updates .
5th sept - malay paper 1/2
6th sept - malay paper 3 , ss
7th sept - english paper 1/2
less than a week away , and i'm damn, damn scared... i need someone to hold my hands right now. had a nightmare abt english n level earlier on during my nap. i ran out of time... i didnt complete it on time. and i loitered most of the time. i wasted my time.
kk. nvm , this is not important. on the other hand, i had another dream where i freaking passed my bloody humans. tht dream can come true. it's all up to me. i'm gonna make tht dream come true i tell you.
guess what? my PS3 is damn gorgeous. but no matter how alluring it is , im not gonna allow it to seduce me. aint gonna fall for its trap, nono. hands off the controller and hands on the textbook pages.
i kinda dont like the fact tht khai has an ex. damn jealous. and i have the feeling he's like losing interest.
wow, this post damn random.
6th sept - malay paper 3 , ss
7th sept - english paper 1/2
less than a week away , and i'm damn, damn scared... i need someone to hold my hands right now. had a nightmare abt english n level earlier on during my nap. i ran out of time... i didnt complete it on time. and i loitered most of the time. i wasted my time.
kk. nvm , this is not important. on the other hand, i had another dream where i freaking passed my bloody humans. tht dream can come true. it's all up to me. i'm gonna make tht dream come true i tell you.
guess what? my PS3 is damn gorgeous. but no matter how alluring it is , im not gonna allow it to seduce me. aint gonna fall for its trap, nono. hands off the controller and hands on the textbook pages.
i kinda dont like the fact tht khai has an ex. damn jealous. and i have the feeling he's like losing interest.
wow, this post damn random.
raya !
ytd was raya! but me damn lazy to post abt the details , so here is the very last photo i took .
my curls gone alr lah, haha.
kinda lazy to edit ytd's footages. in fact i'm too lazy to do anything today. edit? lazy. study? lazy. smosh? lazy. eat? lazy. go out? lazy. blackout? hm, maybe. aaand, the only thing which i feel like doing is to go sch at 6 to fetch my baby.
oh yeah, i aint in sch. hahaha. didnt feel like gg. like kinda regret though, idk why. i feel like im missing out on smth.me have been writing in diary these days. to fill it up . hahaha. eh damn, im bored lah sia.
yupp, tht's my brother.
my curls gone alr lah, haha.
kinda lazy to edit ytd's footages. in fact i'm too lazy to do anything today. edit? lazy. study? lazy. smosh? lazy. eat? lazy. go out? lazy. blackout? hm, maybe. aaand, the only thing which i feel like doing is to go sch at 6 to fetch my baby.
oh yeah, i aint in sch. hahaha. didnt feel like gg. like kinda regret though, idk why. i feel like im missing out on smth.me have been writing in diary these days. to fill it up . hahaha. eh damn, im bored lah sia.
yupp, tht's my brother.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Saturday, August 27, 2011
N levels.
khai fell asleep and i'm still waiting for him to wake up. pretty bored right now.
i tell u, i'm damn scared abt my N levels. it's less than 2 weeks away. first there's mother tongue, followed by english then ss. yes, bloody ss. i'm starting to dislike it. maths is ok if compared to ss. serious shit.
the rest of the class is falling behind in english. i seriously worry for them. yes, khai told me to worry abt myself first, but still, i cant help it. they're my classmates. i feel responsible since i'm like almost always the top english student in 4/2. sigh, i feel so useless.
k it's alright. right now, i'm focusing on my ss. i just Completed a practice paper for maths though. my results were horrible. really need someone to revise with. asleah needa teach me the sec 4 and 3 stuff, and then i'll need khai with the lower sec stuff.
hm, aside from tht, i guess my sciences are pretty ok? although my physics prelims results really shocked me. chemistry is also alright. except if the question gets too cheem.
ppl have been saying tht n level difficulty level alternates every year. they said last year's was easy, so most probs this year's gonna be very difficult. i'm damn scared.
but s'ok. i know i can do it. so i will. i will go to sec 5, i wanna take O levels. and then i wanna go to poly aft tht. bloody hell. i want this so much.
i tell u, i'm damn scared abt my N levels. it's less than 2 weeks away. first there's mother tongue, followed by english then ss. yes, bloody ss. i'm starting to dislike it. maths is ok if compared to ss. serious shit.
the rest of the class is falling behind in english. i seriously worry for them. yes, khai told me to worry abt myself first, but still, i cant help it. they're my classmates. i feel responsible since i'm like almost always the top english student in 4/2. sigh, i feel so useless.
k it's alright. right now, i'm focusing on my ss. i just Completed a practice paper for maths though. my results were horrible. really need someone to revise with. asleah needa teach me the sec 4 and 3 stuff, and then i'll need khai with the lower sec stuff.
hm, aside from tht, i guess my sciences are pretty ok? although my physics prelims results really shocked me. chemistry is also alright. except if the question gets too cheem.
ppl have been saying tht n level difficulty level alternates every year. they said last year's was easy, so most probs this year's gonna be very difficult. i'm damn scared.
but s'ok. i know i can do it. so i will. i will go to sec 5, i wanna take O levels. and then i wanna go to poly aft tht. bloody hell. i want this so much.
Friday, August 26, 2011
shortest sch day eva!
earlier on khai pushed me into the dark classroom and attempted to close the door behind me. he did it as a joke , but it seriously seriously scared me. and now i'm getting flashbacks. i dont wanna rmb. it's been more than a year.
k takpe. next!
went sch with khairul today , he lent me his hoodie! damn warm, he's right. but maybe cos it's his, tht's why it was warm hahaha. it was raining , so didnt walk and didnt sit at friday table. went to 2nd floor mt classroom instead , to slack.
got puddle! damn huge. khai told me to jump but i tried to resist. serious sia, tht room had like 3 major temptations! but one couldnt cos he fasting haha. and another cannot cos i wasnt angry. then the last cannot, cos i mature alr .
when i turned on the fan and khai pointed out smth, i seriously couldnt resist the 3rd temptation. in the end i did it haha. damn bloody awesome! then khai pecked me on the lips also . haha. yay! then sempat cuddle, haha.
today i didnt receive letter from him though, sad. but guess what! during cme ms junainah said tht 2/1 wrote us encouraging letters. damn bloody sweet! then aft tht we all had to write our own to our classmates .
it's like , ms junainah randomly gave us names. i got nicholas , which was ok cos i'm kinda close to him. wrote my encouragement... fyi he always gives me encouragement u know. he's damn bloody nice.
so folded it and placed it in the box. and then ms juaninah gave them all out. guess from whom mine is from !? nicholas! haha. sweet , so coincidence. he didnt write his name though, but i recognized his handwriting.
k then was maths. started off with yet another class caning, i think my emotions towards this numbed eons ago, cos some idiots from my class keep doing the same stupid things. still rmb in sec 2, we all cried like shit when we experienced our very first class caning. tht was so idiotic. oh well, we were young.
surprisingly i paid attention in maths! yay haha . we were dismissed at 1220 , today was such a short day i tell you. sch started at 9 and ended at like, what , 3 hours later? like wow!
haha k tht's all. hm, my blog starting to look so words-y. maybe a little too words-y. wouldnt wanna bore my regular readers like Venusys Si Ying and Khairul Bilius H D . let's add some random pics from the past week shall we?
k dah! tired/sleepy/exhausted/sick.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
one second i was doing some stuffs abt bonding singapore. and the next, i was being shaken very hard and asked if i had eaten. my father told me tht it's alr 11 in the night, hours aft buka. i said i hadnt eaten anything when he asked .
i checked my phone first, cos i knew khai would have texted me. he spammed me like shit. texted him before slowly gg thru my inbox, then went to find food. i seriously couldnt rmb anything sia. just Ss stuff.
khai is pissed at me cos i made him wait for nothing... sigh. i dont wanna say sorry anymore . cos to him it doesnt mean anything. all i can say is thanks for worrying, cos i appreciate ur care and concern.
i checked my phone first, cos i knew khai would have texted me. he spammed me like shit. texted him before slowly gg thru my inbox, then went to find food. i seriously couldnt rmb anything sia. just Ss stuff.
khai is pissed at me cos i made him wait for nothing... sigh. i dont wanna say sorry anymore . cos to him it doesnt mean anything. all i can say is thanks for worrying, cos i appreciate ur care and concern.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
i've not punched the wall for an extremely long time. the last time i did , khai saw and made me promise never to do it again . i'm glad he's such a caring boyfriend and i'm grateful tht he was concerned.
but now i found a new way to anti stress, and tht is to throw things around , and make a mess out of things. idk which is worse.
but thanks for caring khai !
but now i found a new way to anti stress, and tht is to throw things around , and make a mess out of things. idk which is worse.
but thanks for caring khai !
this is for khairul . i'm sorry .
i'll update u lans on my life later. feeling lazy right now. fell asleep and missed tuition , and for tht i was automatically deemed hopeless . i hate it when she calls me hopeless. in fact i dislike the word altogether .
i dislike many things . i dislike many simple things , but the reason is always complicated.
omg! smth black just Flew past my head. it hit my head and flew off . like a bat sia! but the scary thing is tht, my windows closed sia ! and i'm in my room!
k now i'm outside, haha. ok, i dont feel lazy alr. let's update on my life ok?
khairul didnt come sch ytd. i was looking forwarde to him giving command. spent like the whole day in sch texting him . and then, ms poh piss me off again! but idc tht , then what? k i dont rmb alr.
and then today , started off the morning with khairul irfan my wonderful boyfriend . slacked with him awhile before sch , then blah3... aft sch went home with him pulak. i watched him walk until he completely disappeared.
i hope i only meant tht sentence in one way.
so very the scared. tryna have the positive mindset, but still cant help feeling scared tht he'd leave me someday ...
and i'm damn jealous tht he's called someone else 'baby' before, tht he's held someone else before, tht he's hugged and kissed someone else before, and tht he's loved someone else before me. yes, im very jealous of tht , though it's the past . sigh, idk . ive not felt like this before.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
many dreams in a night? or was it one long one?
last night i was in a sort of candy shop with the girls from the clique. i rmb trying to avoid eye contact with pearl and priscilla while i was walking around with asleah and siying. so realistic... i rmb the background song being a Daughtry song, though idk which one.
i walked out of the place with siying, i think she bought something but i dont rmb... we were walking out of the shop when i saw a kind of underground chamber which was on sale, and i rmb wanting to buy it but then i was like, "nah, save money!"
it was a sort of mrt station, when we were walking towards an escalator i kinda saw khairul's 2nd brother. then siying laughed and pointed to him and said, "hahaha, his brother!"
when we were gg down the escalator, siying suddenly took my hand and held it in hers. i rmb scolding her, i said, "eh can dont hold my hand anot? i'm khai's." then she giggled and released my hand. then we continued walking.
and this the scary part, we were passing by a shop tht was selling clocks. at this point idk where siying was alr, but i knew she wasnt there with me ah. the shop was damn noisy, there were cuckoo clocks, the kind where a bird comes out from the door and goes all "cuckoo! cuckoo!" every one hour.
there was a man standing outside the door and he was telling me tht the clocks gave accurate timing, so i looked at the one tht he was holding. wait, i think it was purple. it was either purple or yellow, i dont rmb.
the clock's hands were moving really quickly. i asked the man, "are u sure this clock is giving accurate timing?" he was like, "yes, yes! all my clocks give accurate timing! take a look urself!" so i looked at the other clocks in the shop ah.
all the hands of the clocks were moving damn bloody fast, and their speed was increasing the more i stared at them. at this point the shop was getting really noisy with the tickings, and there were flashy lights all over.
shit. my goosebumps all standing up alr sia...
when i woke up i didnt immediately rmb it, but when i did i teros shiver like mad sia. texted khai straightway, luckily he was awake. in fact he spammed me. i was damn scared sia.
k then like idk what time later, i went back to sleep again. this time dreamt of sch. i rmb it was geog n levels, cos i rmb having a convo with mr singh, he was like "where u gg!?" then i was like, "i gg my geog n levels!" then he was like, "oh combined humans ah!?" and i nodded.
i was actually on time for the paper, but i was in pe, thts why the teacher who was there told me to go change. the toilet was damn crowded with cca ppl sey. oh yeah, i think it was like during cca time, cos i saw many UGs at the parade sq.
i rmb having a convo with farizah and sabrina , who were at the toilet. yeah they wished me luck, or smth like tht ah.
when walking back to my classroom, i saw my khairul irfan. walked over to him and we talked, but i cant rmb abt what. in the midst, a classmate/friend of his came along.
i cant rmb who. maybe i dont even know who lah. k, the guy was like, "eindah, nak lepak?", smth like tht. i didnt make eye contact with him then i just Looked at the floor and shook my head. then he asked again, "oy, nak lepak ketak?", smth like tht.
tht was when i looked at him and was like, shaking my head very very hard with a frown. i looked at khai, then he was like, took me via waist and pulled me closer to him. then he smiled and said, "no, she's alr mine."
the guy was like, smiling i think. k they both gave evil smiles at tht point in time. yeahh tht's it ah.
oh, and another part. my classmates were telling me tht syafiq (my class one) was upset cos i got credit for smth tht he did. a lot ppl were texting me telling me to let him have credit. k tht one idk ah. haha. damn random.
hm k then what else? i dont rmb alr. not yet lah. thanks for reading ! love u baby. and u lans also :D
i walked out of the place with siying, i think she bought something but i dont rmb... we were walking out of the shop when i saw a kind of underground chamber which was on sale, and i rmb wanting to buy it but then i was like, "nah, save money!"
it was a sort of mrt station, when we were walking towards an escalator i kinda saw khairul's 2nd brother. then siying laughed and pointed to him and said, "hahaha, his brother!"
when we were gg down the escalator, siying suddenly took my hand and held it in hers. i rmb scolding her, i said, "eh can dont hold my hand anot? i'm khai's." then she giggled and released my hand. then we continued walking.
and this the scary part, we were passing by a shop tht was selling clocks. at this point idk where siying was alr, but i knew she wasnt there with me ah. the shop was damn noisy, there were cuckoo clocks, the kind where a bird comes out from the door and goes all "cuckoo! cuckoo!" every one hour.
there was a man standing outside the door and he was telling me tht the clocks gave accurate timing, so i looked at the one tht he was holding. wait, i think it was purple. it was either purple or yellow, i dont rmb.
the clock's hands were moving really quickly. i asked the man, "are u sure this clock is giving accurate timing?" he was like, "yes, yes! all my clocks give accurate timing! take a look urself!" so i looked at the other clocks in the shop ah.
all the hands of the clocks were moving damn bloody fast, and their speed was increasing the more i stared at them. at this point the shop was getting really noisy with the tickings, and there were flashy lights all over.
shit. my goosebumps all standing up alr sia...
when i woke up i didnt immediately rmb it, but when i did i teros shiver like mad sia. texted khai straightway, luckily he was awake. in fact he spammed me. i was damn scared sia.
k then like idk what time later, i went back to sleep again. this time dreamt of sch. i rmb it was geog n levels, cos i rmb having a convo with mr singh, he was like "where u gg!?" then i was like, "i gg my geog n levels!" then he was like, "oh combined humans ah!?" and i nodded.
i was actually on time for the paper, but i was in pe, thts why the teacher who was there told me to go change. the toilet was damn crowded with cca ppl sey. oh yeah, i think it was like during cca time, cos i saw many UGs at the parade sq.
i rmb having a convo with farizah and sabrina , who were at the toilet. yeah they wished me luck, or smth like tht ah.
when walking back to my classroom, i saw my khairul irfan. walked over to him and we talked, but i cant rmb abt what. in the midst, a classmate/friend of his came along.
i cant rmb who. maybe i dont even know who lah. k, the guy was like, "eindah, nak lepak?", smth like tht. i didnt make eye contact with him then i just Looked at the floor and shook my head. then he asked again, "oy, nak lepak ketak?", smth like tht.
tht was when i looked at him and was like, shaking my head very very hard with a frown. i looked at khai, then he was like, took me via waist and pulled me closer to him. then he smiled and said, "no, she's alr mine."
the guy was like, smiling i think. k they both gave evil smiles at tht point in time. yeahh tht's it ah.
oh, and another part. my classmates were telling me tht syafiq (my class one) was upset cos i got credit for smth tht he did. a lot ppl were texting me telling me to let him have credit. k tht one idk ah. haha. damn random.
hm k then what else? i dont rmb alr. not yet lah. thanks for reading ! love u baby. and u lans also :D
Saturday, August 20, 2011
buka with khairul !
ytd evening was awesome (:
when i got home i actually wanted to sleep awhile, but i ended up playing a few rounds of resident evil with my adik. like abt 6 plus, went to shower, just Nice when i was done with it, khairul texted me.
blah3, met him at the cc to pass him his tee before gg off to domino to buy the pizza i owe him. met him again at the carpark aft he bought the drink and aft i got the pizza. yes, his bag was super heavy, poor thing sia he.
hm k then what? while waiting for bang , we chatted awhile. then finally could drink/eat! oh and before we ate we kissed first, cos we have been waiting for tht, hehehe. yes, i'm glad we could finally kiss, cos we missed the chance on ndp.
khai drank alot sia, kesian sey... i'm so grateful tht he still found time for me despite being tired aft cca.
k then i made him upset for awhile. and i was being a spoilt brat by asking him for more and more rounds of kiss. i'm so sorry for being so childish khai /:
i notice he kept running his hands up and down my mid riff , haha. then he was like, "....eindah, you're hot." i shy sey, hehehehe.
there was a cat which we were playing with before we kissed, and then while we were kissing tht feline was like watching us. hahaha, so cute sey. and it was damn manja. (i didnt see whether it's a female or male)
aaahhhh.... ytd was awesome. i love u khairul irfan !
when i got home i actually wanted to sleep awhile, but i ended up playing a few rounds of resident evil with my adik. like abt 6 plus, went to shower, just Nice when i was done with it, khairul texted me.
blah3, met him at the cc to pass him his tee before gg off to domino to buy the pizza i owe him. met him again at the carpark aft he bought the drink and aft i got the pizza. yes, his bag was super heavy, poor thing sia he.
hm k then what? while waiting for bang , we chatted awhile. then finally could drink/eat! oh and before we ate we kissed first, cos we have been waiting for tht, hehehe. yes, i'm glad we could finally kiss, cos we missed the chance on ndp.
khai drank alot sia, kesian sey... i'm so grateful tht he still found time for me despite being tired aft cca.
k then i made him upset for awhile. and i was being a spoilt brat by asking him for more and more rounds of kiss. i'm so sorry for being so childish khai /:
i notice he kept running his hands up and down my mid riff , haha. then he was like, "....eindah, you're hot." i shy sey, hehehehe.
there was a cat which we were playing with before we kissed, and then while we were kissing tht feline was like watching us. hahaha, so cute sey. and it was damn manja. (i didnt see whether it's a female or male)
aaahhhh.... ytd was awesome. i love u khairul irfan !
Friday, August 19, 2011
P.E with my 4/2 ♥
hi ! my day was great so far. had a little bonding with my beloved class 4/2 during p.e. , although alot of ppl were absent today. watched and recorded the guys playing soccer, using khai's cammie. i could capture so much details sia! hehe.
cant wait to edit the footage. right now WMM is preparing the footage for better playback quality. aft tht, i can start editting alr. oh and later on, imma be breaking fast with my khairul irfan. i cant wait, although im worried tht he's not feeling well...
takpe, he strong lah he.
here's some pictures from today!
as you can see via my tone, i'm in a bubbly mood today, haha. im just Glad tht i managed to spend time with 4/2 peeps today. although last night was unpleasant, i still look forward to the following day.
cant wait to edit the footage. right now WMM is preparing the footage for better playback quality. aft tht, i can start editting alr. oh and later on, imma be breaking fast with my khairul irfan. i cant wait, although im worried tht he's not feeling well...
takpe, he strong lah he.
here's some pictures from today!
as you can see via my tone, i'm in a bubbly mood today, haha. im just Glad tht i managed to spend time with 4/2 peeps today. although last night was unpleasant, i still look forward to the following day.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
hi ! so , how was my evening ytd and my day today? ytd evening was spent with my baby at cc, before my maths tuition. i like to kiss his neck! but then ytd he tak geli, oh well. and i seriously didnt notice tht mole on monday sey.
went off at like 6, cos i couldnt bear to leave. khai asked me if i was tempted to kiss him, which i so was! and he kept sticking his tongue out when i was looking at his mouth, and then he gave me a peck on my lips. damn bloody tempting sia!
but managed to control, cos he could do it. so of course i also can. (macam faham)
and today marks the end of prelims! had art today, sadly i didnt see khai pass by. oh well . went home aft the recess bell rang. pretty tired... had a short nap. it's satisfying (: k dah, bye!
went off at like 6, cos i couldnt bear to leave. khai asked me if i was tempted to kiss him, which i so was! and he kept sticking his tongue out when i was looking at his mouth, and then he gave me a peck on my lips. damn bloody tempting sia!
but managed to control, cos he could do it. so of course i also can. (macam faham)
and today marks the end of prelims! had art today, sadly i didnt see khai pass by. oh well . went home aft the recess bell rang. pretty tired... had a short nap. it's satisfying (: k dah, bye!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
one thing i dislike abt sleeping back is tht , the nice dream tht i had earlier will turn into something unpleasant. dont really wanna talk abt it.
k i've no sch today! cos i've no papers. but some ppl still got lit and poa, so all the best to them. my last prelim is tmrw, which is art. i must admit, i lazy practise. so whatever marks i receive, i deserve it lah huh. unless i get good marks, then tht means i dont deserve it lah. k idk what i crapping.
ytd oh ytd ! ytd is over, and we're in a new day now. but let me just Update u on ytd's happenings lah.
went to sch with khai again, yay! made my morning. yes , i always cant help smiling when i see him. i didnt wanna study my maths , and he kept scolding me for tht haha. for some reason i didnt smell his Morning Smell ytd ):
alighted at es paris as always, and walked to the main gate from there. otw talked alot, as always. i laughed alot i think, but cant rmb why. slacked at friday table, and i called him baby :D k i felt so proud of myself, but still very shy. hehe.
been seeing orange post its around alot lately. hm k then what? paper 1 maths was fine i think. glad tht i had asked khairul to teach me factorizing, cos i was able to do tht question. oh then before my paper 2 started, had time to walk around with my khai awhile.
a few mins still make me happy.
hm k then what? i aint so confident in my paper 2, but i gave my best. let's just Pray and hope for me ok?
aft dismissal for us, went home straight, and then slacked awhile. was damn bloody tired. around 530 went out again, went to bazaar with asleah, before gg to play with cats awhile. then khai texted, slacked at es paris awhile alone, then walked to ish bus stop.
the trip home wasnt so pleasant. when he walked away i wanted to punch the wall but i alr promised him tht i wouldnt. so i didnt. my hands were almost uncontrollable, but i managed to hold them back.
and when i got home, i suddenly thought of it and got angry at myself. i ran out of the house and all the way to the cc bus stop where he was at. told him i was sorry . cos i was.
i didnt want to lose him. my mom was yelling, asking where i was gg and trucks were horning but i was just Focused on getting to him before his bus does.
chey, now tht i mentioned it, i actually went thru all tht just To get to him uh. wow, awesome.
and yeah, k dah.
i've really got to brush up on my attitude.
k i've no sch today! cos i've no papers. but some ppl still got lit and poa, so all the best to them. my last prelim is tmrw, which is art. i must admit, i lazy practise. so whatever marks i receive, i deserve it lah huh. unless i get good marks, then tht means i dont deserve it lah. k idk what i crapping.
ytd oh ytd ! ytd is over, and we're in a new day now. but let me just Update u on ytd's happenings lah.
went to sch with khai again, yay! made my morning. yes , i always cant help smiling when i see him. i didnt wanna study my maths , and he kept scolding me for tht haha. for some reason i didnt smell his Morning Smell ytd ):
alighted at es paris as always, and walked to the main gate from there. otw talked alot, as always. i laughed alot i think, but cant rmb why. slacked at friday table, and i called him baby :D k i felt so proud of myself, but still very shy. hehe.
been seeing orange post its around alot lately. hm k then what? paper 1 maths was fine i think. glad tht i had asked khairul to teach me factorizing, cos i was able to do tht question. oh then before my paper 2 started, had time to walk around with my khai awhile.
a few mins still make me happy.
hm k then what? i aint so confident in my paper 2, but i gave my best. let's just Pray and hope for me ok?
aft dismissal for us, went home straight, and then slacked awhile. was damn bloody tired. around 530 went out again, went to bazaar with asleah, before gg to play with cats awhile. then khai texted, slacked at es paris awhile alone, then walked to ish bus stop.
the trip home wasnt so pleasant. when he walked away i wanted to punch the wall but i alr promised him tht i wouldnt. so i didnt. my hands were almost uncontrollable, but i managed to hold them back.
and when i got home, i suddenly thought of it and got angry at myself. i ran out of the house and all the way to the cc bus stop where he was at. told him i was sorry . cos i was.
i didnt want to lose him. my mom was yelling, asking where i was gg and trucks were horning but i was just Focused on getting to him before his bus does.
chey, now tht i mentioned it, i actually went thru all tht just To get to him uh. wow, awesome.
and yeah, k dah.
i've really got to brush up on my attitude.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
friday, weekend, monday .
i'm quite sad at the fact tht my khairul still thinks i've got smth to do with douchebag )): i dont even rmb the last time i talked abt him to asleah , and tht was smth we did alot last time.
k takpe, let's update on the past few days !
where did i stop uh? oh yes, friday. went to sch with my khai , then slacked at friday table before walking one round to mt room, which is becoming like our normal fridays routine. blah3, i like the part where he randomly snapped his fingers then the bell rang right aft ! laughed like shit sia! his face was priceless!
i dont rmb any other funny stuff from friday. as in during sch hours. cos i was upset . hm k then what? oh yeah, went to central with asleah and siying aft physics remedial, to buy food to buka during night study.
like around 615 i think , went to sch again. sat at a table near npcc room, then told asleah and siying to leave me alone awhile when the npcc ppl were dismissed. cos i wanted to see if khai would approach me anot, he was mad at me at the time.
yeahh, i really told the girls to leave me alone cos of tht .
at one point i happened to turn and look into the npcc room , and khai was inside, looking at me. tht was dramatic, we stared at each other awhile i think , before i looked away. then blah3, i watched him walk out, and then was when i got pissed.
i seem to like throwing tables around when i'm angry uh. yeah tht was what i did , i kicked the canteen tables around until the drink stall auntie was like staring at me like O:
k blah3, ran out to bus stop , saw khai. wanted to go there but saw him talking to someone, then i was like, "sun give me courage sun." with the sun in my face . oh then the amirah was like, hi eindah! and not amirah dota, but another amirah who poked me during our sch's ndp at hall.
finally went over to khairul , blah3. glad tht tht was cleared. not fully cleared though , the haze still lingers. i think.
went to night study , realized tht asleah and i forgot to take fork and spoon for our ccr. she laughed like shit, then i asked ms ng if she's got any in her office. good thing she has! so yeah, ate with asleah and siying .
siying tahan-ed til we were able to eat, so sweet. what's more it wasnt as if asleah and i were fasting sia! hahaha!
did alot of chemistry and a little bit geog, me. asleah kept singing the lazy song , then at one point i started doing what the monkeys did in between his lines (if u get what i mean) then asleah laugh like shit! she started doing it too , which made me laugh like shit.
siying was like between us , and her face was concentrated on her book. but in the midst of my laughters i saw her face like want to tahan ketawa like tht, which made me laugh all the more! i was laughing like shit sia. aw damn.
k move on to the weekend.
on saturday, buka at compass point cos it was naqib's birthday. he's 20 now. it got me upset tht he said he had "no money" to buy me cookies. cookies only sia, it's not smth very expensive... and it's not like i ask him to buy me some all the time right??
i was glad tht she didnt make it.
went to some shop tht sells games, and omg. i want one so bad ! Alice: Madness Returns. kinda like a violent alice in wonderland.
im saving up, since ive got nth much tht i wanna buy. omg, other than a camcorder. k i'll save up for corderie aft i buy alice!
on sunday pulak, went to geylang. i took the escalator down at paya lebar, and it got me lost. tried to find my way but i got more lost, and since i was alr late i just Called khairul to ask how do i get out.
buka at arnold's, with my whole fam! all 5 of us ! tht was like my first time buka at arnold's in first batch eh. hehe.
hm k then what? ok, monday. went to sch with khai again. slacked at friday table, then asked him to write amirah dota's card. i like the heart part sia, hahaha. aaahhhh, i felt so childish. went to pass to her, and we were like looking for her padahal she was right in fronta us all along.
walked one round before sitting back at friday table. then blah3, separated. had geog , which surprisingly went quite well. and then there was physics, and chemistry. for all 3 papers, i kept sleeping halfway and then waking up suddenly to continue O.O
halfway thru my physics my khai walked past :D i heard some voices then i somehow wanted to see who it was, so i did. and it was khai !
aft my last paper, waited at canteen. was day dreaming when a piece of paper was shoved into my face. amirah dota gave me a thank you note! the sweet darling. i couldnt help smiling so damn widely aft reading it, i must have looked like an idiot. a happy idiot.
khai came along next, and then made our way to bus stop. then he had to go back do some stuff, but luckily he left his bag behind, cos it gave me a little bit more warmth than usual, it was raining.
blah3, he walked me home but then i walked him back home. k ytd was fun. main hujan, and i was gg crazy jumping in the puddles. i felt like a kid again. i always do when im with khai. most of the time lah. he's fun.
at his lepak place near his house, sempat hug. i was damn cold, i didnt want to let go. so each time he released his arms from around me i kept pulling him back. tht embarrassed me, but i'm glad i did tht . hehe.
i like being close to khai. yes he makes me feel secure and warm. ahahaha, i know his weak spot alr. i kept doing at it and he kept on laughing laughing, i love his controlled laugh, so cute! yes haha, i was so damn bloody amused i tell you.
ytd was awesome and i love him alot. sigh. i love him u know?
look! a mashup of skrillex and adele.
khairul irfan, i have posted a long blog post.
now you try!
k takpe, let's update on the past few days !
where did i stop uh? oh yes, friday. went to sch with my khai , then slacked at friday table before walking one round to mt room, which is becoming like our normal fridays routine. blah3, i like the part where he randomly snapped his fingers then the bell rang right aft ! laughed like shit sia! his face was priceless!
i dont rmb any other funny stuff from friday. as in during sch hours. cos i was upset . hm k then what? oh yeah, went to central with asleah and siying aft physics remedial, to buy food to buka during night study.
like around 615 i think , went to sch again. sat at a table near npcc room, then told asleah and siying to leave me alone awhile when the npcc ppl were dismissed. cos i wanted to see if khai would approach me anot, he was mad at me at the time.
yeahh, i really told the girls to leave me alone cos of tht .
at one point i happened to turn and look into the npcc room , and khai was inside, looking at me. tht was dramatic, we stared at each other awhile i think , before i looked away. then blah3, i watched him walk out, and then was when i got pissed.
i seem to like throwing tables around when i'm angry uh. yeah tht was what i did , i kicked the canteen tables around until the drink stall auntie was like staring at me like O:
k blah3, ran out to bus stop , saw khai. wanted to go there but saw him talking to someone, then i was like, "sun give me courage sun." with the sun in my face . oh then the amirah was like, hi eindah! and not amirah dota, but another amirah who poked me during our sch's ndp at hall.
finally went over to khairul , blah3. glad tht tht was cleared. not fully cleared though , the haze still lingers. i think.
went to night study , realized tht asleah and i forgot to take fork and spoon for our ccr. she laughed like shit, then i asked ms ng if she's got any in her office. good thing she has! so yeah, ate with asleah and siying .
siying tahan-ed til we were able to eat, so sweet. what's more it wasnt as if asleah and i were fasting sia! hahaha!
did alot of chemistry and a little bit geog, me. asleah kept singing the lazy song , then at one point i started doing what the monkeys did in between his lines (if u get what i mean) then asleah laugh like shit! she started doing it too , which made me laugh like shit.
siying was like between us , and her face was concentrated on her book. but in the midst of my laughters i saw her face like want to tahan ketawa like tht, which made me laugh all the more! i was laughing like shit sia. aw damn.
k move on to the weekend.
on saturday, buka at compass point cos it was naqib's birthday. he's 20 now. it got me upset tht he said he had "no money" to buy me cookies. cookies only sia, it's not smth very expensive... and it's not like i ask him to buy me some all the time right??
i was glad tht she didnt make it.
went to some shop tht sells games, and omg. i want one so bad ! Alice: Madness Returns. kinda like a violent alice in wonderland.
im saving up, since ive got nth much tht i wanna buy. omg, other than a camcorder. k i'll save up for corderie aft i buy alice!
on sunday pulak, went to geylang. i took the escalator down at paya lebar, and it got me lost. tried to find my way but i got more lost, and since i was alr late i just Called khairul to ask how do i get out.
buka at arnold's, with my whole fam! all 5 of us ! tht was like my first time buka at arnold's in first batch eh. hehe.
hm k then what? ok, monday. went to sch with khai again. slacked at friday table, then asked him to write amirah dota's card. i like the heart part sia, hahaha. aaahhhh, i felt so childish. went to pass to her, and we were like looking for her padahal she was right in fronta us all along.
walked one round before sitting back at friday table. then blah3, separated. had geog , which surprisingly went quite well. and then there was physics, and chemistry. for all 3 papers, i kept sleeping halfway and then waking up suddenly to continue O.O
halfway thru my physics my khai walked past :D i heard some voices then i somehow wanted to see who it was, so i did. and it was khai !
aft my last paper, waited at canteen. was day dreaming when a piece of paper was shoved into my face. amirah dota gave me a thank you note! the sweet darling. i couldnt help smiling so damn widely aft reading it, i must have looked like an idiot. a happy idiot.
khai came along next, and then made our way to bus stop. then he had to go back do some stuff, but luckily he left his bag behind, cos it gave me a little bit more warmth than usual, it was raining.
blah3, he walked me home but then i walked him back home. k ytd was fun. main hujan, and i was gg crazy jumping in the puddles. i felt like a kid again. i always do when im with khai. most of the time lah. he's fun.
at his lepak place near his house, sempat hug. i was damn cold, i didnt want to let go. so each time he released his arms from around me i kept pulling him back. tht embarrassed me, but i'm glad i did tht . hehe.
i like being close to khai. yes he makes me feel secure and warm. ahahaha, i know his weak spot alr. i kept doing at it and he kept on laughing laughing, i love his controlled laugh, so cute! yes haha, i was so damn bloody amused i tell you.
ytd was awesome and i love him alot. sigh. i love him u know?
look! a mashup of skrillex and adele.
khairul irfan, i have posted a long blog post.
now you try!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
for my wonderful boyfriend .
named Khairul Irfan :D
this was made within a few days , thts why its so simple .
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
1st Night Study !
night study was good. it kinda helps .
yeah tht's it. bye.
kidding ! hahahahah . damn bloody fun eh. we all buka tgt , but i ate only kbw. should be cukup uh, since yeah u know. then aft tht we continued studying . i studied alot for the whole 2 and a half hours , studied the sciences .
hm then what ? oh yeah at one point faiz tarmizi sneezed damn bloody loud , i saw the ppl at the table behind him all jump sia! hahaha! damn bloody cute sia, asleah and i saw then we both laugh3 like shit.
alot of other crap happened at the table i was sitting at too .
k, malas ah. hahahah . bye!
yeah tht's it. bye.
kidding ! hahahahah . damn bloody fun eh. we all buka tgt , but i ate only kbw. should be cukup uh, since yeah u know. then aft tht we continued studying . i studied alot for the whole 2 and a half hours , studied the sciences .
hm then what ? oh yeah at one point faiz tarmizi sneezed damn bloody loud , i saw the ppl at the table behind him all jump sia! hahaha! damn bloody cute sia, asleah and i saw then we both laugh3 like shit.
alot of other crap happened at the table i was sitting at too .
k, malas ah. hahahah . bye!
Tuesday, August 09, 2011
National Day/2nd Month !
yes, what glorious occasions it is today!
woke up to a sweet text from khai wishing me 2nd month. and then i had a nap at like 11 til like 3? i think. had a dream abt missing today , sedih sia. and then i lost all my jeans pulak tu !
k dah, dismiss tht. blah3, went off to meet khai at 4, took bus to interchange , topped up, and then took train . thought of gg to woodlands waterfront cos he's been wanting to bring me there for a long time alr.
when we were like on the red line , halfway we were like looking at the map thingy. then it's like, woodlands wasnt lighted up . it seemed as though we were thinking of the same thing , cos we turned to each other slowly with wide eyes. haha tht was funny.
but sad ! khai said it means tht the train wouldnt be gg to woodlands. terpaksa change the plans. decided to go to esplanade instead . alighted at bishan, took circle line to esplanade. so many ppl!
blah3, finally found a place to stand at to wait for fireworks. got jakonist over the aerial stuff, hahaha. waited idk how long , but at least we talked and laughed. then eons later a few fireworks were blasted.
i kept getting electric shock when khai put his arms around my waist, aw... and we held hands while walking , i felt like a little girl again , cos walk thru crowds holding the hand of someone taller than me. idk , it feels like my childhood.
fireworks damn awesome giler babz eh! when was the last time i watched fireworks? i dont rmb. they were loud ! and so many ! and alot colors! excited uh. oh and while waiting ah, saw khai bouncing , damn cute sia.
k then aft fireworks , went off to marina bay mrt, but halfway thru decided to retreat and retrace our steps back to esplanade mrt instead. it was a a long and hot walk , but it's fine bcos it was with my khai .
walk here walk there squeeze here squeeze there . then he suddenly said , "i realize tht it's difficult to find someone who is like you... bukan difficult, takde pon!" like, aw.... hehe.
i think my phobia of crowds is kinda ok right now. yupp . i guess ah. hehe. i love khai eh. did u know !?
guess what , we buka only like at 830 plus. kesian sey , i feel so guilty. he knows why. im so sorry khai ): hm then went to take mrt to paya lebar. changed trains , then slept on his shoulder awhile. cos we were damn tired , sitting down felt like hot chocolate during rainy days .
by the time we reached pasir ris it was like almost 10 . took bus, slept awhile again. penat uh. when at his stop , he went to alight uh. as i looked at his reflection when he was tapping his ezlink card... i damn sad sia.
at THT milli second i started missing him alr. eyes were tearing again ! but i didnt cry lah. hehe.
wah. today was damn tiring. but i enjoyed myself. khai is beautiful ! i love him so much .
k dah, i want sleep uh... goodnight my lans!
woke up to a sweet text from khai wishing me 2nd month. and then i had a nap at like 11 til like 3? i think. had a dream abt missing today , sedih sia. and then i lost all my jeans pulak tu !
k dah, dismiss tht. blah3, went off to meet khai at 4, took bus to interchange , topped up, and then took train . thought of gg to woodlands waterfront cos he's been wanting to bring me there for a long time alr.
when we were like on the red line , halfway we were like looking at the map thingy. then it's like, woodlands wasnt lighted up . it seemed as though we were thinking of the same thing , cos we turned to each other slowly with wide eyes. haha tht was funny.
but sad ! khai said it means tht the train wouldnt be gg to woodlands. terpaksa change the plans. decided to go to esplanade instead . alighted at bishan, took circle line to esplanade. so many ppl!
blah3, finally found a place to stand at to wait for fireworks. got jakonist over the aerial stuff, hahaha. waited idk how long , but at least we talked and laughed. then eons later a few fireworks were blasted.
i kept getting electric shock when khai put his arms around my waist, aw... and we held hands while walking , i felt like a little girl again , cos walk thru crowds holding the hand of someone taller than me. idk , it feels like my childhood.
fireworks damn awesome giler babz eh! when was the last time i watched fireworks? i dont rmb. they were loud ! and so many ! and alot colors! excited uh. oh and while waiting ah, saw khai bouncing , damn cute sia.
k then aft fireworks , went off to marina bay mrt, but halfway thru decided to retreat and retrace our steps back to esplanade mrt instead. it was a a long and hot walk , but it's fine bcos it was with my khai .
walk here walk there squeeze here squeeze there . then he suddenly said , "i realize tht it's difficult to find someone who is like you... bukan difficult, takde pon!" like, aw.... hehe.
i think my phobia of crowds is kinda ok right now. yupp . i guess ah. hehe. i love khai eh. did u know !?
guess what , we buka only like at 830 plus. kesian sey , i feel so guilty. he knows why. im so sorry khai ): hm then went to take mrt to paya lebar. changed trains , then slept on his shoulder awhile. cos we were damn tired , sitting down felt like hot chocolate during rainy days .
by the time we reached pasir ris it was like almost 10 . took bus, slept awhile again. penat uh. when at his stop , he went to alight uh. as i looked at his reflection when he was tapping his ezlink card... i damn sad sia.
at THT milli second i started missing him alr. eyes were tearing again ! but i didnt cry lah. hehe.
wah. today was damn tiring. but i enjoyed myself. khai is beautiful ! i love him so much .
k dah, i want sleep uh... goodnight my lans!
Monday, August 08, 2011
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