Top 5 fears

I've been watching some videos about natural disasters, man-made disasters, shootings, all that stuff. This channel makes top 10 lists of such things, as well as lists of other scary things. I've always been a fan of this channel but everything I've been watching on it has been terrifying me. [gives me a thrill though]

So thinking back, I realised that despite being a nineteen-year-old who's gone through stupid shit, I sure have a lot of equally stupid fears.

1. Dolls
Everytime I'm dragged into Toys R Us, be it by my brother or friends, I'd always avoid the girls' toys section. Seeing dolls makes me nauseous, especially the big ones that resemble babies. On the other hand, the regular Barbie dolls creep me out; they make me feel like there's a real girl underneath the plastic skin somehow.

All in one, dolls scare the shit out of me, especially ever since my family got so obsessed with the Chucky movies. I'll always have the fear that they'd come to life, or take over mine. And the creepypastas I've been reading doesn't help. Hah.

2. Being alone
I don't mean this in the psychological or emotional or whatever way. I mean this physically. I always get the feeling I'm being watched, and that whatever it is watching me will never get me unless I'm left alone. In my whole life, I've always tried not to be in a room on my own, especially at night. I'd always get my mom or my little brother or my granny to accompany me wherever I am.

The times that I have to be alone, I'd always be on the edge of my seat, making sure I was ready if anything were to come from the shadows or window. I hate sleeping alone because I'd think of the worst whenever I awaken in the middle of the night. [and not to mention my dreams, but that's another story]

I guess you could call it paranoia, or vivid imagination. Either way, I'd always think that something would devour me if I'm left alone when the daylight is gone.

3. Tsunamis
The ocean is a scary place. I'd say I'm afraid of water but I'm not exactly fearful of the rain, I just don't particularly like it. If the ocean and its secrets aren't scary enough, having giant waves devour and destroy my homeland is ten times more terrifying.

When the tsunami in 2004 struck, I was so scared of going to the beach, even if it was just Pasir Ris Park. I was bawling when my mom brought me there; I was so convinced that a tsunami would come and destroy me.

That fear stays with me even til now. My dislike of water means I don't exactly know how to swim, which makes the possibility of a tsunami even scarier. It doesn't help that Singapore is tiny and surrounded by water. I can't imagine what would become of me if a giant wave were to hit.

4. Loud noises
As if heavy rain wasn't bad enough, the sound of thunder scares me just as bad. Thunderstorms in the middle of the night are frequent, and those put me at my worst. I also can't stand voices being raised. It intimidates me; either I'd curl up and shiver out of fear, or, if the voice was directed at me, raise my own voice back and that would in turn scare me more.

I stick to libraries, avoid karaoke, hate arcades, and I can't imagine why would anyone ever want to go clubbing. Anywhere with loud noise, count me out. The only times I'd accept having something blasting into my ears is when I have my earpiece plugged in.

5. Dogs
When I was young, the neighbour's dog pounced on me just as I got out of the lift at my house. I screamed my balls off but it stuck to me, I was so terrified, I was only a little girl. The dislike remains, and a little of the fear too, because every time I saw a dog from afar, I'd make a face in disgust. But if it even so little as jerk towards me, I'd run in the other direction.

So there you have it. My top 5 fears if I can say, things I've shied away from as far back as my little girl days. I have quite a few more actually, tiny things like bees and cockroaches, and the impulse for destroying things [this is another story] but I felt like they weren't that bad as the ones above.