Hooded dress and erasable highlighters!!!

my backpack is tearing apart at the bottom, boohoo T.T o well. the school year is almost over, anyway. today was a fine and dandy day, i guess. somewhat. hmm.

i was awake almost the entire day, even during recess and double free period.

i doodled a lot though.

pikachu was really fun to draw, as much as i find it annoying and lousy.

so i went shopping after school, and i was walking in the department store when i bumped into the Converse section, where there was a neat dress with a hood! a hooded dress. that's just splendid!

the salesdude was super adorable. he was all smiles and grins and was so intense on serving his customer. when i couldn't decide which size i should try, he was more than happy to pass me both S and M.

went to Urban Write too, as always, where i got a bunch of Frixion highlighters. yes! highlighters which can be erased! magic! just beautiful!

alright, am currently studying, working a little on my Physics and Social Studies. oh, and i've gotten back my English papers. i'd gotten 20 for both my free and situational writing. which to me is not good enough.

Jing Yu talked to me about it and many other things during lunch. for all i remember, it's the first time i've ever had a proper 1-on-1 conversation with her. how i miss my classmates.

WOAH GUESS WHAT THE EFF JUST EFFING HAPPENED MY OLDER BRO JUST GAVE ME FIVE BUCKS AND WHEN I ASKED HIM WHY HE WAS LIKE "DUIT BELANJA" IS THIS REALLY EARTH O GOSH I'M SO PROUD OF MY OLDER BROTHER ASDFGHJKL 

Dua tiga Yamask menangis.

dua tiga kucing berlari,
entah kenapa aku letih hari ni.
pergi sekolah bukannya belajar,
satu hari aku cuma tidur sahaja.

dua tiga meja berhabuk,
pelajaran aku semakin teruk.
dah tahu bukannya buat sesuatu,
macam O level lagi jauh gitu.

dua tiga buku yang koyak,
masa depan nampaksah dah rosak.
kadang-kala memang nak putus asa,
tapi tak berani untuk menyerah kalah.

(c) Solitary Author @109blackaxes.blogspot.com

____

i did some Maths today, mostly Maths and Geography. it was surprising that i made such an improvement in the former, when i thought it's always been my weakest subject.

in fact, i think it's one of my strongest now, for some reason. my Science is declining, and i need to read up more on my Humanities. my languages are okay, i guess, although my Malay is not on par with my English.

hoo-boy. it's less than a month away from the first O level written paper, and countdowns are everywhere. and dammit! my Chemistry practical is still as weak as ever. my Physics is fine in comparison.

alright, grrrl, we've really got to buck the fuck up. turn your weaknesses into your strengths, okay?

by the way, i kept saying to myself the line "dua tiga kucing berlari", cause the vendor at my school canteen kept saying that to me earlier!

and i've also been doodling "Solstice version II" all over my books and notes. it sounds cool, like a more advanced version of Solitary Author. like how Genesect is to Kabutops.

o yes, i have been thinking about this: if i were a Pokemon, which Pokemon do you think i would be? personally, i think i would be a Yamask.

this is from either Sinnoh or Unova [can't remember], and i got to know about it when i was researching freaky things about PKMN.

well apparently, this PKMN carries the face of a human, which is actually the person whom it once was. which makes this PKMN a human ghost, actually.

but that's not my point. my point is, Yamask has the tendency to look at the face of its former life, and cry in remembrance of the human it once was.

like me, don't you think? that damn Wrister girl.

that aside, this strange Pokemon has many kinds of stories or theories behind it. some people said it's a representation of the 9/11 tragedy, and that the faces it holds are the victims.

ah! i think Yamask was from Unova. i heard that this region was based on the city where the towers had stood, and that this Pokemon is usually found wandering around the area where the towers were based. makes sense now.

sorry, got to really stop talking about Pokemon, right?

have lots of books to bring to school tomorrow, all kinds of ten year series, and my backpack is seriously tearing apart at the bottom. i've had it for two years now; had been a gift on my fifteenth birthday.

p.s. everyone knows Team Rocket and how they're always trying to catch Pikachu, right? well, i have a little wonder about this.

the thing is, Ash's Pikachu sucks. they've battled so much, that Pik should probably be nearing level 100 by now. yet it got defeated by so many weak Pokemon [including a Magikarp!!] throughout the series.

some people say that each time Pikachu enters a new region, he gets 'reset' back to level 5 or somewhere.

in any case, if you haven't noticed; Team Rocket has a talking Pokemon. shouldn't that be a lot more valuable than a lousy and common electric mouse?

Compare them. I dare you.

let's say we have two girls. or boys. anything.

one has many good friends, a group of close friends she knows she can trust, a boyfriend who loves her, and a family who dotes on her.

the other has neither of that, the only living thing which she interacts with being stray cats. she hurts, but she has nobody to talk to about any of that.

they both have something in common, that they are always seeking attention. be it on Facebook, or Twitter. they're always publicising their problems in hopes of having someone notice.

whose attention-seeking is more annoying?

i have my own argument in my diary. what's yours?

Short post.

the world of Pokemon is just so mysterious.

then again, as i'd said, it can either truly be hiding such 'adulterous' secrets, or just created for entertainment without such considerations.

you may think me silly to be thinking of all these things, but really, they're so interesting! not only the conspiracy theories, but also the PokeLogic kind of things, like these. so funny, and they do make sense!

i'm still getting over the shock from last night.

I should have taken his hand.

ain't in school, was so demotivated with what happened last night. bawled my eyes out, was trying so hard to hold the tears in but damn.

so here i am in the house, alone as always. do i have any plans? i should probably get something to eat, although as always i don't have much appetite. mee soto would be nice though.

i need to have interaction with a human now. and call me picky if you like, but i only want certain humans to interact with, not just anyone.

...granny should be on her way to KL by now. i'd wanted to follow, too. i guess my not going to school is a sort of rebellion against that.

if this is how i react to someone who wasn't so close to me, how would i react if it's someone who is?

i would have made the effort to take his hand had i known it would be the last time i'd see him.

Transition. [more sudden]

so my Humanities teacher says i have not much problem with Geography because of my "flair for writing", it's just that i am unsure of the facts. well that brought me down, but it made me proud too. i was just writing in my own diary about my love for writing.

i'd better make use of this strength to overcome my other weaknesses. my uncle also once told me, being strong in English should be a great help, because it helps me understand questions in Maths, Geography, and all that, better. which is true if you think about it.

and guess what, my Axes!?!?!?!? look at this shit :D

right click and open in new tab to zoom, on the left is my Prep and the right is my Prelim. see that damn difference! well it ain't that astounding, but it's an ascent.

when i got back from school, did a little Geography before going out in the evening to get a cake, cause it's my papa's birthday today. as usual, it was all up to me. i spent six bucks more than mumsie's cake, mind you! and not a single cent provided from the brothers kesayangan!

plus, if you remember who was the one who bought me my birthday cake.

walked around a little after i got the cake, and bought a pair of earrings, the type where one stud is chained to another. i love those.

i know i've always been on solitary escapades, but today kind of took its toll on me. it made me end up crying on the train back to Pasir Ris, at least, i think it's the cause.

but guess what, i got to my room and started webcamwhoring, which made me feel a little better. and then Granny gave a surprise visit!

the images below consist of only my left eye because they are all inverted images.

would you believe that this picture above was actually taken when i was giving several emotions? i was like ): at the top left, frowning at the top right, smiling at bottom left, and supposedly just stoning at the bottom right.

just the occasional overdose, as always. it's fun webcamwhoring with just your eyes, instead of the usual posing and making funny faces, you know? eyes give more expression than any of that, don't you think?

____

just received news.

i think this was why i cried on the train earlier. a premonition.

it's not the first time i've had one.

i'm crying now and the atmosphere in the house has changed drastically. this is so unexpected. i've never been through this before. how do i cope with it? someone, guide me, please.....

Sudden realisation O:

i love this meme. and i had such a moment when i was thinking on my bus ride back from school earlier, in the midst of all the chaos.

i just realised that all this while i hadn't wanted to wear heels or stuff like that because i didn't want to be any taller than i already am, especially with the short best friend and short boyfriend whom i used to have.

well then, now that i'm all solitary and shit, i should probably take the chance to wear heels more. genius strikes again, well done Sols!

i'm bored, today is papa's birthday, which means i'll have to make a cake trip very soon once again. i wonder what i should wear. i've no heels, by the way, bwahah. the other time, on my birthday, i tried on a few pairs with Shu Shan, and i found a pair i really liked but it was costly.

maybe i should just wear my dear old Nikes today {:

Creepy as f*ck!

i never really thought of that. now that you mention it.

there have been many other stories about the Pokemon world as well, especially with regards to the Kanto region. and if you have ever wondered why Ash never grows up, this might be your answer. it broke my heart, but it was a really good read.

it's up to you whether you want to believe it or not, but i thought it made a lot of sense and was pretty cool. here is also another story which i had read, regarding the music from Lavendar Town. that's pretty creepy.

Kanto region. you know how i sayang the Pokemon there. but the myths following suit are creepy as hell, as interesting as they might be.

what started this was when i bumped into the Cubone-Kangaskhan relation theory. Kangaskhan has a baby in her pocket, and it's said that it is actually a Cubone. or more like a Cubone is the baby, abandoned due to its mother's death.

i remember an 'M or something like that in one of the older games, too. i don't remember what i did with it though, but they said it evolves into a Kangaskhan.

some of the theories here make sense too, and i especially like the third one. it's true isn't it? why would they need breeding if Pokemon don't die?

and this.

i think that definitely makes a lot of sense.

this here has many interesting things pointed out, which makes you think about. number 3 shocks me. that's a very good point; a Pokemon spends all its life in a PokeBall, only released when it is needed in battle.

the Golbat one. think about it. that is why in the older games, Professor Oak stops you by saying "it's dangerous to go out without a Pokemon", something like that.

when you are walking in a cave, Zubats and Golbats attack you because they want to suck your blood. they only battle your Pokemon because you took them out to defend yourself, when in actual fact they were attacking you. makes sense?

remember when i said my entire party from Ruby had been infected with PokeRus? apparently it affects humans too. following the war thing which happened prior to the first few Pokemon games, it's possible that there was also a nuclear incident which mutates humans, thus the line "grow exceptionally well".

this virus had been around since way before the first generation, and it's what caused the mutation of animals, turning them into what we all know as Pokemon.

PokeRus affects humans too. which probably explains why there are some Pokemon resembling humans, such as Machoke, Gardevoir, and such. Mr Mime and Jynx, too!

i'm reading up on a lot more of such "conspiracy theories" right now, and a lot of them make a lot of sense and are pretty interesting plus creepy.

however, it's all up to you whether you believe these or not. do you choose to go beyond the surface into these theories and believe them, or do you choose to ignore them and just look at Pokemon as a kid's show which doesn't look into these issues?

i feel creeped out, though. i doubt i'm gonna play Ruby anytime soon! Groudon will have to wait. o well, this is a good chance to catch up on my studies.

you're right. if only i have the same kind of energy when studying the human world stuff, like Maths and Physics and shit. hooboy...

That damn Groudon! [Ruby updates]

i am currently feeling screwed up because of Pokemon Ruby. so i've made it past the drought, and have made my way into the Cave of Origin to get to Groudon.

what happened was this : my Gardevoir, my dear Gardevoir whom i love so much, has been defeating that Groudon over and over again. it's so frustrating! i want to catch that Groudon, okay? and no, i do not want to use the Master Ball.

i have been closing the game right after Gardevoir defeats Groudon just so i could have another shot at trying to catch it. once it's defeated, it's gone for good! why is it so damn difficult to catch this guy, dammit. that's why i'm so pissed off right now.

and it doesn't help that my Manectric's Electric-type moves are pretty much useless on Groudon.

the Pokemon in my party are Gardevoir, Vibrava [which evolved from Trapinch!], Absol, Tropius, Tentacool, and Manectric. i'd use V's Dragonbreath on that damn Groudon and make it confuse if it weren;t for Groudon's striking first all the time.

and Tentacool has powerful water moves to use on it too, but he has a low HP, so Groudon has been one hit KO-ing my Tent.

this is so frustrating. i've flown all the way back to Rustboro to get myself a couple of Devon-made balls like Timer and Repeat which would be a little useful. but it's more difficult that i thought ;_;

that damn Groudon.

Invisible DUCK! +Ruby updates

O GOSH! (': that laughter and happiness didn't last very long, though. of course.

i don't trust Ben! i have the feeling that he's got something to do with the raiding incident back at their motor inn, and i really don't think he deserves to be one of the few survivors left in the party.

if he was really the traitor, then, well, screw him. cause he made Carley sacrifice her life for him, and he made Duck get bitten. i don't trust Ben, i really don't. i only feel comfortable with the party from the pharmacy back at episode 1.

anyone else wondering if that Asian guy managed to survive everything as well? i can't remember his name now.

i hope nothing happens to Clementine. Pewds said "if Clementine dies i don't wanna play this game anymore!" x_x

i guess we'll have to see how the story goes. i'm having more fun watching Pewds play this than trying out the game myself. and anyway, the only game i'm currently playing is Pokemon Ruby.

image courtesy of ~CicadaNoise on DeviantArt.

a few updates: i managed to defeat Winona with my Manectric [which evolved from my Electrike]. she handled all of Winona's Pokemon single handedly! i'm so proud of her. and, she's currently the highest level Pokemon i have, at level 46 was it? somewhere there.

even my Gardevoir is only at 38, while my Combusken is still a Combusken and not Blaziken, even up til now. i didn't train her that much.

maybe it's because when i was younger, i would only train my starter Pokemon, and focus on it for the entire journey. this makes it strong and able to defeat many Pokemon no matter what type it is.

but through my Ruby gameplay, i'd bothered to read up on what type Pokemon defeats Rock-type, Fighting-type, etc... you know?

i guess only people who've played Pokemon know what i mean.

anyway, i've made it to Mossdeep, where the gym leaders Tate and Liza specialise in Psychic-type Pokemon. it's now my chance to train Absol!! since Dark-type moves are best against.

and what better place to train Dark-type Pokemon than Mt Pyre, where it's abundant of Ghost Pokemon, bwahahah.

i apologise, my Axes. if only i can have the same enthusiasm and effort for my studies in school. that'd be nice, wouldn't it? *sigh*

so i saw my classmate Zharfan at WS today, and i tapped him on his shoulder to give a quick wave. his smile was so adorable x.x i told you, i have a soft spot for that guy, for some reason!

Confessions at a mile away from Os.

today is the 22nd of September, which makes it exactly one month til my first O Level written paper. [there's also the practical on the 18th of October or somewhere there]

i am so screwed.

i did okay for my Mid Years but i didn't do my Prep because of suspension, and i didn't study hard enough for Prelims. what are the chances that i will be able to cope with the real exams?

plus, if you were to remember how bad my results for MT Os were, you should very well know i wouldn't be able to even dream of receiving good results next year.

it's not helping that distractions have been popping out of nowhere, from PewDiePie to Pokemon Ruby online. it didn't change anything to have the fact that i am friendless, admittedly.

and you know what's worst? the fact that i know i am way too behind in my studies, and yet i'm not doing shit about it.

"this is the last stretch" is something which many of my subject teachers have said to me. it reminds me of the Cross Country, which i would walk and practically stroll the whole way except that last pathway when i would run to the finish line.

it tires me out, but i am relieved that everything is over already. who hasn't felt that before, right?

well well well well well well well. yeah, that's all i have to say now. i hope i would do something about this soon.

POKERUS!!! [more Ruby updates]

so i trained my Fighting-type Pokemon til they evolved into Hariyama and Machoke, which helped me freaking defeat Norman, the Petalburg gym leader. bwahah!

got the HM Surf, which brought me to routes leading to Fortree City where Winona the gym leader is waiting. unfortunately i haven't got much Electric-type Pokemon which is most effective on her Flying-type. i have my Graveler for the Rock-type moves but it won't be enough.

so i withdrew Electrike and am training him now! oh, and i also caught a Magnemite, Magneton and Voltorb back in the New Mauville.

oh, and guess what? my Kirlia evolved! i have a Gardevoir now! bwahah! she still doesn't know much Psychic-type moves, though, which upsets me. my Combusken doesn't have much Fire-type moves too.

my whole party has been infected with PokeRus. i think it was Kirlia cause she has this ability called Influence or something. i read up on Bulbapedia and apparently, PokeRus is supposed to be a good thing. even Nurse Joy had said Pokemon with this virus "grow exceptionally well".

well well well well well well well. i'm bored though. i'd like to have interaction with a human now please. i've been thirsty for that ever since my birthday.

that's pretty much how my day was. i just stayed in the house playing Pokemon. the lifestyle when you have no friends or anyone who cares about you for that matter, since even my family is not around.

Prelims are OVER!!!1

school exams in the hall are the only times i interact with Faiz because he sits next to me. today he asked how i was, and i told him it was my birthday yesterday.

he wished me a belated, and then started telling everyone around us about it. that was embarrassing, but so sweet. and then later on when i was sitting at the desolated bus stop he walked past and wished me again. aww.

and that was how my last prelim paper had went. probably my last prelims of secondary school, because the next exam is the real deal already. 

i was on the bus, thinking about my mid year exams this year, when i recalled a conversation i had with the black tadpole during that time. i don't really remember how we started it, but he said something using the word "dense", as in heavy. 

i thought it cool for him to know such a Physics word, so i repeated, "oh, dense. cool." to which he casually replied, "yeah... like you." it took me quite a while to realise what he meant, which further proved his point!

sweet, sweet memory. it still makes me grin away to this day. 

i cleaned up my room, by the way!

not entirely perfect but it's a very good improvement. 

i also watched the latest Walking Dead video from none other than PewDiePie, and it made me cry )': i love the story. and that part was just so sad. one by one, everyone falls back a step behind. one got shot, one got abandoned and another got infected.

the scenes with Clementine were just too touching )':

and i thought they would all be able to stick together longer. and PewDie was right! after all he had done to save Carley!

and damn, 2:43 onwards til PewDie's contagious laughter. o Gosh XD he makes my day doesn't he.

*Wazzy88 made a PewDiePie Pokeball (': there's PewDie in the Pokeball in case you can't see.

well then. i haven't defeated Norman in Ruby, in case you're wondering. it's just so frustrating that his Pokemon are eons of levels higher than my Fighting-type ones!!! [Fighting-type are best against Normal-type, which is what Norman specialises in] 

i wanna spend time with the black tadpole, no matter how belated it gets. :3

E'indah's seventeenth birthday {: *edited*

today, the 19th of September, is my birthday {:

i got a surprise visit from two of my schoolmates, who wished me happy birthday, gave me presents, and even brought me out. none of the photos were with me cause my battery died [it was a surprise visit, so i hadn't had the time to charge] halfway through.

i'll post when they've given me the photos, okay?

so i got myself a dress and a pair of shoes from Cotton On. i guess Cotton On is okay. and i loved that dress! made our way to Tamp next where i got myself a cake. wanted chocolate banana but there weren't any anymore so i just got a simple chocolate mousse.

and then i wore my new dress out after that :D

i thought i got stood up. but he says maybe next week we'll meet instead *wink*

i think it's most probable that i'm gonna dress myself up more from now. i most certainly hope so!

i cried a lot in the morning by the way. for the most silliest reasons on earth. and my room is a mess now, like a tsunami just came and hit it. i'm not gonna clean up though, cause it's my birthday! and that's why i am not gonna stay up til 12 midnight, so... goudennate my Axes!

____

alright, so here are some pictures which Sabrina just sent me. it was her and Shu Shan who gave me the surprise visit by the way.

well then, there we go {: thank you for wanting to come back just to look at these photos XD

Rubynoia!!! [more Ruby updates]

i'm currently training my Fighting-type Pokemon so we can defeat Norman. we've lost against him about three times already. his Pokemon may be a weaker type compared to my Machop and Makuhita, but it doesn't help that they are all almost 10 levels stronger than mine.

i've caught a Trapinch! i'm gonna train it to be the strongest Flygon ever. other updates include a Graveler and Pelipper which i had evolved from Geodude and Wingull after training them in order to defeat Flannery.



another great dubstep remix of a Pokemon soundtrack. this one's a remix of the drought part. i'm not even there yet, though. that's Groudon by the way, since i'm playing Ruby.

i don't have many water Pokemon, i just realised, apart from my Pelliper. maybe because i don't have any rods to fish for any yet, and i don't have the HM for surf too. well that all shall happen once i defeat the Petalburg gym leader aka Norman aka my dad, bwahah!



gotta love both the mix and the picture. it's both Milotic and Gardevoir! oh and around 2:34, if you were to listen to headphones, there's this sound which makes it seem like someone's sharpening a knife around you. that gave me a heart attack!!!

you know, i don't really remember when was the last time i played Ruby on GBA. i mean, i know did play in secondary school, cause i remember trading Pokemon with a secondary schoolmate of mine.

but then again, there was also once when i was approached by this kid back in primary school, and was asked, "who's your favourite gym leader?" to which i answered, "Flannery.", who is a Hoenn gym leader.

get it? it seems strange. i don't remember when exactly i first played in the Hoenn region.

i'm actually quite scared to progress in the game. what if i met a legendary Pokemon and screwed up the battle with it? what if i didn't save before that and had to go search for it again? not to mention Latios, who changes location each time i make a move.

or worse, what if i defeated it and then accidentally saved after that?

oh, and what if i accidentally pressed the B button when a Pokemon is evolving? will it try to evolve again later or what? and what if i accidentally used a Master ball on a weak Pokemon?

knowing the daydreamer moron that i am, anything is possible. oh gosh what is this Rubynoia.

i just remembered that someone once taught me a cheat code for copying master balls. i don't remember anymore...

the ending of Walking Dead episode 2 was somewhat cool. the part where Lee had to choose between killing Andy [or was it Danny] and walking away.

the abandoned car segment made me wonder what PewDie would do if he had to choose between Clementine's and Kenny's lives somewhere in the game.

the game has a really nice story though. it's not only about the zombies, but about humanity too.

plus, watching PewDiePie play is like having two stories in one. the game itself and his love and hate relationships with the characters.

no school for me tomorrow (; cause there's no exam. i'm gonna do whatever the hell i want. though i'm feeling somewhat sick now, and i've no idea why. plus a toothache!

hey, you know something? the more i look at Charmeleon, the more i see an uncanny resemblance to the red tadpole. the way he frowned over his shoulder with his mouth open ajar like that.

Ruby updates.

i knew it, finding Pokemon Ruby online was a mistake.  i hadn't been doing any studying today, and instead have been shamelessly on the computer since the time when i got back.

a few updates though: my Ralts has evolved into Kirlia, and my Torchic into Combusken. hooray! i've made it to Fallabor, where i'm currently at, and already obtained three gym badges.

i also entered Combusken into a Cool Contest and he landed first place! bwahah.

i love how i've not seen the Pokemon for so long already, but when i'm seeing them for the first time i could name them like Ey it's xxx! you know, like a childhood friend you still recognise?

taking a break now, and i feel weird. i feel lost back here in the real world.

it's chemistry tomorrow, and then the day after, there's no school for me cause i've no exam on that day. have got an appointment in the evening, which i'm admittedly nervous about.

i walked in on my little bro eating apple pie and i am craving that right now.

A wild distraction appeared!

i fucking found Pokemon Ruby online. 40 minutes into the game and i've already caught a Zigzagoon, Wurmple, Wingull and a RALTS, in addition to the Torchic which i had chosen at the beginning, muahahah.

a RALTS!! lucky me. she's gonna grow up to be the most beautiful Gardevoir in the world.

i am so gonna fail my remaining exams. this is a horribly wonderful distraction. but damn am i having fun. and anyway i did study for my Geog the whole morning and earlier in the day.

by the way, my character's name is 109 {:

Randomery.

i heard this song over the radio yesterday, and i quite like it and its meaning. well what i think is its meaning, anyway. the chorus especially.

i like the line "i left the keys under a mat too out front". meaning to say that anyone has a chance of finding those keys and going into the house? that although she wants him to come home, someone else comes opening the door instead?

i've been through that myself too, if you remember. (; douchebags.

a little wonder. if Pokemon are like the animals of the Pokemon world, then what do the humans eat? is Torchic and Combusken the chicken of that world, and Magikarp and Goldeen the fish? stuff like that?

what about the meat they eat, did that come from Pokemon too? if the milk and cheese and all the dairy comes from the Miltank i guess that's fine, but the meat!?

and speaking of dairy, have you watched PewDie's latest Walking Dead videos? gotta love that song at 10:20. it's freaking stuck in my head.



it's almost half past 4, was that quick or what? i don't remember what i've been doing the whole day, believe it or not. i could have sworn it was just noon.

better go grab something to eat, right? and damn. yes, i haven't showered yet either!