Of men and women.

My cousin lent me this book some time ago; it's called "Princess: The True Story of Life Inside Saudi Arabia's Royal Family", and it's based on a true story. In fact, a note from the author and a letter from the protagonist states that it is a true story. This princess, which can only be named 'Sultana' for fear of being hunted down by certain authorities, befriended the author and told her to write about her story.

This book basically tells about how women are treated in Saudi Arabia, be it common or royal people. The book started with Sultana getting scolded by her mother because she had prayed to her brother instead of to God; it made Sultana wonder her whole life: "If my brother isn't a God, why is he treated like one?"

Sultana's family consists of nine elder sisters and one elder brother, two years older than her. Because he was the only son, he was treated like king by their father. He was spoilt rotten by their father even from a young age; when Sultana was given an apple, her brother demanded to have it. She, being a feisty kid with a mind of her own, put up a fight for her apple; but when their father came and asked what was the ruckus, he demanded that she gave her brother the apple.

In Saudi Arabia, men were considered "higher" than women; in other words, women were treated like slaves. Especially by men. The Qur'an did state that women were secondary to men; but the government liked to twist the words of the holy book, and they just decided that Oh, women are slaves for men.

It's a norm for women to be abused, physically or verbally or sexually especially, by their fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands, etc. A daughter would not be favoured, especially not by her father. If a girl received her first blood, she would automatically be deemed as a woman: she must be veiled by a dark abaaya, and she must hastily be wed off. Most of the time she is forced to marry old men double or triple their age, usually as the third or fourth wife.

The woman has no say in this by the way. Her father decides who she marries, and most of the time it's because of business connections, past or future.

It's so unfair to women; if the woman is found to not be a virgin on her wedding bed, she would immediately be sent back to her father and be punished appropriately. It's normal for her to be punished cruelly, even by death. The woman must be a virgin on her wedding night although it was okay for men to have sex with different women so many times prior to their wedding!

In terms of crime, if a man were to kill his wife, he would not be so quickly put to punishment. He would give a reason for doing what he did, and even though it was not valid, or was a lie to cover up his true guilt [for example saying that his wife had cheated on him although she had gotten raped by another man because her husband didn't take care of her safety properly], the men would applaud him for putting someone so shameless to death.

In another case, when Sultana was in hospital delivering her first baby, she had seen this other girl as young as her walking with chains tied to her legs and with bodyguards all around her. She learnt that this girl was to put to death because of adultery. Her name is Amal.

This was what happened: Amal's parents had gone to the Emirates for some business thing I think? Or some family thing. All that's left in their house were three servants, a driver, and her seventeen-year-old brother. The servants were sleeping and the driver was in his room. Her brother had taken the chance to entertain some of his friends; the music was blasting and because their party was beneath her bedroom, Amal was getting pretty irritated.

She came down, only in her thin nightgown, and knocked on the door, wanting to tell her brother to lower the music or something. She poked her head inside but she could not see her brother so she went inside to look for him. She immediately got pounced on by her brother's friends, and they all took turns to rape her. She passed out by the third boy.

Of course, this was not what the public believed. Her rapists had claimed that she was the one who came and seduced them, asking them for sex and shit. Just because the men had said it, it was immediately deemed to be the true side of the story. Since drugs and alcohol were involved in the party, Amal's brother was too afraid of the consequences of abusing these and he didn't step up to clear his sister's name.

Her father too, believed his son and asked for his daughter to be punished by death.

Well, reading the book made me so fortunate to be where I am, and to have who I have. 'Aamir had mentioned that a wife's responsibility is towards her husband once they are married, even though the husband's responsibility remains towards his mother.

I thought it was cool that one day I would have full responsibility for 'Aamir [hehe] , but after reading this book, hmm, not so cool after all. And the fact that Islam allows the man to have four wives; the prince may love me a lot right now but who knows if I don't wanna give birth and he wants children so he decides to marry another T.T I can't bear the thought of that!

Oh I've talked to him about this I think. Not to worry I guess, though, anything can happen. Why am I even talking about this? We're still young. Let's just have cheap meals at Burger King and laugh about silly things and judge other teenagers first. Because that's what our teenage years are for.

'Aamir wouldn't be abusive by the way. He's a gentle guy who doesn't smoke or drink, and who prays five times a day, so I'm really fortunate to have him instead of some matrep. Imagine if my boyfriend was a matrep. I don't mean to stereotype, but we'd probably be smoking a lot together and drinking and shit. Seems kind of cool but not when I have 'Aamir. Guys, I really am fortunate to have someone like him.

The only times 'Aamir has ever laid a finger on me was when he's holding my hand, or hugging me, or wrapping his arms around my waist when we kiss, or all the other joking couply things, like pinching or pushing me til I knock into a tree [and he would laugh after that], or squeezing my face and laughing at how stupid I'm looking. Yup. The list goes on. He's annoying that way, but he's not abusive.

The one time he hit me, though, was when he slapped me, hard across the cheek. My face flung to the side and I started bawling like a baby and wailing like a banshee. It was out of shock I suppose. I remember how my voice echoed. Of course, he immediately pulled me back into a hug and said "I'm sorry", with sincerity and guilt and love. Idk, I forgave him straightway but I wouldn't stop crying when I thought of the impact.

I'm not gonna tell you how it started, but I'd tell you that his slap was a retaliation. I had slapped him first, because I was so angry at him! I won't tell you why I was angry at him. Yup, this was back in April or May I think? That's also the last time I've ever been hit physically by anyone at all.

Yup. You don't know how lucky you are as a woman in Singapore. None of us do. Girls here be fooling around and kissing and cuddling when they're thirteen. Girls in other countries getting married at thirteen. You wanna have sex at thirteen? Why don't you marry a geezer while you're at it, yeah?