Happy birthday, faggot.

Remember when I said that I'm glad to have met 'Aamir, one of the reasons being because my relationship with him brought me other amazing friendships?

There was Merlissa, there was Naqib, there was Yazid; in fact mostly from his current tertiary class. I've never really felt good about his secondary school classmates, because 1. they're all probably judging me, idk 2. his ex is from this group of friends.

But there's one person from his secondary school life that I've always been fond of. Yes, it's none other than Luke. My hypocrite.

So I'm sure you've heard about what happened between him, 'Aamir, and I. It was my friendship with Luke that broke my relationship with 'Aamir for a while back early this month. Afterwards, 'Aamir kept accusing me of having feelings for his best friend. I got tired of denying it so eventually he stopped accusing me of it too, which is a relief. Everything is fine right now.

I've stayed away from Luke though. Honestly, he was a great person to talk to. This I can't deny. This I've told 'Aamir, because it's the truth. Although no, I don't have feelings for him like how I like 'Aamir. In fact right now, I hate him. He was the first to wish me happy birthday, and I fucking hate that. That's why I was so angry. And also, because he is a faggot. A hypocritical faggot.

Just last week I think, I was looking through 'Aamir's phone when I saw his conversation with Luke. It wasn't like this exactly, but it went somewhere along the lines of "At least now I'm free and I don't have to waste my time entertaining that girl." You have no idea how much this one line hurts me. Let me now tell you why.

The first time he and I talked was in February, but that one was insignificant. I was asking him about what 'Aamir likes, shit like that. And then in April, two days before my first day of tertiary, I talked to him again. We talked about 'Aamir, yup. And then we started talking about humans.

Luke has this passion for Science. Never have I met someone who loves Science so much, but yup, if you haven't either, there's Luke. He's always talking to me about the human mind or the human body, or about religion. Anything he so deemed. I always listened, and I guess he got more and more open with me. He said, "I like talking to you. Because you don't judge me when I talk to you about what I like."

I liked to talk to him too. I talked to him when I had problems with 'Aamir. I guess the fact that we didn't judge each other just fed our friendship, and that was how we grew so close. At least, I think we did. Sigh.

I was also guilty about the fact that I had stolen his one best friend from him. 'Aamir once told me that Luke and he were the last boys in their class who hadn't had their first kiss. And when Luke told me about how  'Aamir was the last person he thought would leave him like the rest of their friends did, he was so sad, and lonely. That's why I've always thought the three of us should be a happy family because why not? We got along fine. And I didn't want Luke to be left alone like that just because 'Aamir is with me.

When they had their bitchfight I did all I could to patch them up together, although secretly I was happy because that means I had more time with 'Aamir. But I didn't like Luke being alone. I tried to get them to eat pizza with me, by asking them out individually but I guess it failed. Luke found out 'Aamir was there, or something like that? Whatever.

And then Luke was always telling me how he was so lonely. He has no girlfriend, and there weren't any girls in his classes. I felt bad for him about that too. And then he said he prefers Chinese girls, and then he saw Siying's picture, and then he said she was cute. So, I asked her if she would wanna go on a double date with him. She said sure and I was already excited.

Until I saw what he said to 'Aamir. How sad that makes me. I thought our friendship was real and that he really liked talking to me. He said he was lonely, and because I know what it's like to be, I just wanted to be there for him. Because I can't help feeling that I was the cause of his loneliness. Duh.

I'm a mix of anger and disappointment. I'm angry because he is a bitch, and an asshole, and a hypocrite, and a motherfucking faggot!

I'm disappointed because I really did care for him and I thought he did for me too. Guess I was wrong. Happy 17th birthday, faggot. I fucking hate you. I really do, and I hope you die a virgin.