remind me to confess something to you one day .
in person.
right place, right time.

thanks , i love you khai .

why is it tht he never falls when i'm right next to him ? why is it tht he always crack only when i'm alr so faraway from him ? i wish i can run to him right now and hug him tight with no intentions of letting go .

not an awesome day

today wasnt another one of my fave days .

first things first, woke up late. thanks to me , all my other family members didnt manage to sahur. cos i'm their alarm clock ; if i dont wake up, they dont. yeah, something happened to my alarm and i didnt wake up at 530.

woke up at 6 , thus causing me to rush. tied my hair anyhow , before making my way to the bus stop . blah3 , slacked at canteen with my khai for awhile. halfway thru i realised tht i forgot to bring my entry proof !

the funny thing was tht when i banged the table , the kid next to me was like so shocked ! ask khai , he was like smiling to himself hahaha . hm k then what?

aft flag raising i went office to get permission to leave sch. the office staff asked me to ask mr singh, and mr singh asked me to ask mr syafie , and aft finally finding mr syafie, he told me to go office to sign some thingy .

i just Went to normal lessons , then blah3, had to stay back aft MT cos i didnt do my work. uh huh, then when i was finally dismissed i went to office again . turned out tht i needed mr syafie's signature on the bloody form and he was in a bloody meeting .

waited there for idk how many donkey minutes, but in the end the office staff was like, "think u come back here at like 1110." so i went off again .... but i didnt go back at 1110.

fell asleep during maths again. sigh. i tried ok ? mrs woo passed by when i was sleeping , grace and timothy tried to wake me up but it was too late. the princi dragged me out of the classroom and gave me a lecture before asking me to go back into classroom and to pay attention.

next , had ss. i had a tummyache since like the whole morning , and at tht period i couldnt take it anymore. so i asked ms poh if i could go to toilet. she was like , "during my lesson u always find an excuse to get out of class . either tht, or you'd be sleeping."

like wtf ! i rarely go toilet in her lessons sia! and i've never slept in geog before sey! of course i had to stand up for myself so i was like , "eh wahlau, i don't sleep in ur lesson sia." then she was like, "oh really? i must have been seeing a ghost then."

i wanted to jawab but asleah gave me some signals telling me not to show attitude. so i just Remained quiet although i was like boiling . i was like a spoilt kettle, my water inside is boiling but i'm unable to make a sound .

so of cos it left her to add more stuff to say , talk abt my hair , and then suddenly picked on my skirt. like wtf! whats wrong with her sia! like suddenly pick on me eh . tak buat aper aper langsong sia , mintak nak gy tandas je! and i was having tht horrible pain since morning sia.

a few mins later us malays were dismissed to go to coral for our oral. asleah followed me home to get my entry proof, since i couldnt be bothered with the office system anymore. we only had one hour.

when i got home i couldnt find the bloody entry proof sia. the last place i put it at was on my desk sia! i carik sampai nak mampos , and the fan wasnt even turned on and i was sweating like shit. finally found it among a mess of random papers, like wtf. idk how the f it got there.

discovered tht i was late, ended up taking taxi and wasting my god damn money , and then blah3 i think tht's the end of my horribe-lity.

my MT oral went ultra smoothly i tell you. while waiting my turn , talked alot with the other girls, namely nabilah , asleah, fazerah, khairiana, syazana and amalina. abt relationships, and then i started missing my khai a lot more sia ):

k then what? waited for each other at the canteen . blah3, when amalina was done we all made our way out.

at 5 plus went out again, met up with asleah. blah3, then went to buy food. blah3, parted then i slacked at east cc awhile, just Like in the mornings when waiting for my priscilla. i miss tht so much.

blah3, khai was done, walked to sch , but i surrendered and stopped at ish bus stop. was too tired. had a long day. seeing khai energized me a little, but sadly it didnt last cos halfway thru the bus ride he got upset at me , cos i looked at his friend when he was talking . sigh.

when i got home, straightway helped my mom to siap the makanan. ended off the day with eating at the dinner table with my mom and BOTH my brothers, which was so much of a rarity.

i'm so tired.
so very the tired
but look at this!



wowee. he's so handsome. ♥

today was first day of bulan ramadhan! aka bulan puasa. aka fasting month. k im sure nobody here needs an explaination.

started off the day good, went sch with my khai. he smells so good in the mornings can? alighted at es paris to walk to sch. alot funny crap lah, i love him so much . in sch, walked around cos we didnt really slack at canteen .

sigh, he's so cute can? i'm so glad he's mine!

today was the art deadline. went art room for recess , and aft sch as well. idk why but i slept alot today. was made to stand during english and physics seemed to last for like 4 seconds only. locked eyes with khai across the building, heh.

geog , and then maths. maths was boring. think ms huang cant be bothered abt me alr sey... idk why i just Cant stay awake ok ? sigh.

pc was fun , one half of the class did the class deco and the other half did some other ndp stuff. i was there recording footage, until the bell rang. made my way to art room with siying, slept awhile.

when i woke up, the sec 3/2/1s were done with their common test . blah3, khai is so cute when he yells Oy, haha.

blah3, art was so intense! everyone was rushing like shit. i was there recording stuff , cos i was done with mine hahaha. hm, aft art, waited at canteen for khai, cos it was empty. for once nobody sent no one home , which is a nice change once in a while?

k then what ? buka-ed with my mom and adek . mm hmm... i'm grateful .

THREE DEARS IN ONE DAY ♥

sup my lans ! past few days were awesome. asleah and i are together again hehe. it's thanks to siying haha . k so what happened ytd eh?

k, self study was so empty. cos most of the chinese had their MT n level oral , and the malay guys were off to the masjid, so it was like, mostly malay girls left ah. did some chem. halfway thru got despo for the chemical symbols of nitrogen oxide.

ok , p.e., asleah had to leave halfway for nyaa . played basketball with zharfan, fazerah, phyllis and syafiq. the girls kept getting awed cos i kept getting the ball into the hoop, hehe. then i played badminton with titus and irshad, against 3 other guys from 4/1.

yeah, with irshad. "douchebag". but i've moved on ok?

then watched farhan and the faizes play sepak takraw with zak . yeah, fun ah. first time played alot of P.E. with alot of ppl. oh, and there was one part where mr ong and ms adimah came out from the store , then we were all like , "oooohhhhhhhh!" hahahaha! i've got footage.

k , did art til like 630 plus, when the classroom started getting flooded with sec 3s aft their nyaa ceremony. walked down with siying and hafiz . we were the only ones in the art room , kept playing song aft song aft song aft song .

was waiting for siying to come out from toilet when hafiz had to go as well. some dude bumped into him , then hafiz face like black sia. i was like, shit. then blah3, they had a fight, had to hold hafiz back.

siying grabbed his bag , but then he just Let it off his shoulders. tht made siying laugh , sempat sia she! then i stood between him and the dude , then blah3, ppl were yelling (siying, hafiz and me) then blah3 , he went toilet with tht black face then we walked out of sch tgt.

bonded lah, thru tht incident.

and then right now i'm leaning against the wall with my comp , and typing away. aw damn, this is quite a comfy position !

k, as for today. went to eat brekkie with siying and amirah azhari, my daughter . talked, laughed, gossiped, walked. then blah3, amirah's friend came then siying and i made our way to sch. did abit of art , i really appreciate hers and pearl's help!

k then what? oh, i watched the npcc do their pds. khai so hot!

went central at 1230 plus, with siying, bought food then bubble tea , and then i waited at the bus stop for my khai. he came, then we walked to the previous stop. talked alot crap as always , then he made me laugh when i was drinking, ish,.

took bus , walked him home , then went to his usual place then he asked for hug haha. then in exchange we kissed, then blah3. met again at like 4 for awhile. slacked at carpark rooftop .

seriously i love him so much sey :D
blah3, went w/s, then i went home.


me and my amirah dota xD

i've got a confession to make .

i'm in love .

and i'm not just Saying it, i really am.
with Muhammad Khairul Irfan.

no matter what happens , i'm gg to stick with him. there's no one else like him. there's no other for me . i want him, i need him, and i know he wants me , but most importantly is tht he needs me. i'll do whatever it takes .

i'm willing to wait til he completely forgets the past . i'm willing to stay with my hands around his , my head on his shoulder , occasional kisses . and periodically he's gg to remember stuff and get upset . but no matter how much he shakes and shivers , i'll hold on tight .

i'm willing to listen to him , his whines and complains, his stories . i'll listen to them all. and no matter what , i'm only gg to express my own feelings when he's finished talking. his feelings would be more important when the spotlight's on him .

i may not predict it if he breaks one day . but i'm gg to be there to hold his pieces together. if i let go of him , his pieces would fall to the ground and shatter , so i'm just Gg to hold them in one hand while i struggle with the glue using my other. it may be difficult , but my struggles will be worth it when i see him as one again .

i'll walk together with him. for as long as he wants , and to go as far as he wishes. when he gets tired , i'll stop and stay with him , and await until he gets his strength back or give him some of mine, no matter how little i have left for myself .

if he's hyper though i'm very tired , i'll keep up. i'll pick up speed if necessary , i just Wont stop or slower my speed , bcos all i want is to just Stay by his side .

khairul irfan , i love you .

i want you to know tht, and to remember tht always .

tears .

sup my lans . syafie gave us sec 4 girls a lecture this morning. now for every one time we get caught for hair etc, we'll be given detention straightway. thanks a lot eindah.

k i stayed for art til 620 today ! but still felt like shit halfway , as always. had a very motivational song playing on repeat though. hehe.

went home with khai and naim , sent khai to his house , chit chatted at his place before he finally had his chance of showing me his way of kissing. reached home at like 8.

nowadays i only have him and siying . and a little bit of amirah occasionally.

he left me wanting more

sup my lans ! today was awesome cos i bonded with both my darlings Venusys Si Ying and Khairul Irfan :D !

asleah was still giving me some attitude . i didnt counter attack though, i did try to talk to her like normal. blah3 , aft sch went home and changed before gg out again to meet siying ! got cup walker , then went to asli village!

while waiting for our satay we saw cameras and suhaila salam (siying didnt know her name lah of course), like 2 tables away . like i was in camerashot , i kept on act shy shy but i was actually damn jakonist .

walked to ws next , got the iced egg . i got chocolate this time , while siying got apple lime. i was disappointed cos siying's didnt burst like my first one did , cos she didnt get to experience. almost cried sia.

went basement to buy pancake pulak . at least siying satisfied 2 of her cravings ! k then we walked to sch , went to our old slack spots of 2009 . so many of the cats grown up alr !

oh aye, at one point there was a bee smack dab in her face , and she started screaming and then a nearby cat got so stunned and ran away , omg tht whole scene damn bloody amusing sia!!

i didnt see blink today , but saw 3 and 4 , both of whom i still cant tell apart and whom i still havent given official names too . k , walked to sch's 17 bus stop , stopping by spc for aircon. took 17 for one stop with siying , went east cc awhile .

blah3 , went sch bus stop , walked back, and met khairul pulak. on the bus , he held my hand as he slept on my shoulder , aw... then at his house , hugged and sempat 2 (very brief!) rounds of french kiss . hehe. to say the truth he kinda caught me by surprise.

k then went to compass point with my mom , saw aidil and aimi ! dah lamer tak jumper, miss them siol . boohoo.

k dah tht's all.
i kinda despo to RD now! with my bestie Siying :D
think she's my only bestie right now. /: idk what's wrong with the rest.

guess what , i'm stressing out over the 4/2 surprise .
and abt the grad night vid too .

when will i be done ?!

he always end the sch week .

i love fridays !

alrighty , let me just Go thru today . went sch with khai , slacked at canteen before slacking at mt place , and then walked one round second floor before he sent me to 4/2 , which he insisted on. then blah3 , during cme was kinda slack .

did project with siying and shushan , before gg around class to record random moments . and then blah3 , it was maths which was boring as always . aft tht was lunch , went canteen on my own cos asleah walked on ahead again .

halfway thru lunch went off with siying to slack off at old places , and chit chatting abt random stuff. she told me tht asleah said to her , "i dunno why eindah not talking to me." banyak! i was so angry when i heard tht sia , serious.

played with the girls during pe including asleah , and i did try to joke with her again but to no avail, still .

went w/s with siying , alot of funny stuff tht i did laugh abt ! and then went back to art, did some before gg to play piano at canteen cos siying despo haha . but i played a little too , the few songs tht i knew.

yah timothy liar !

k, what next ? siying went off at 6 , and i was like sitting peacefully, listening to my songs when afnan they all came and kept hentak hentak the table tht i was sitting at, like wtf... and then syafie came along and was like , telling all of us to leave .

i stared at him , like glare ah, then he was like, "what , are u deaf ?!" -.- blah3 , went to bus stop and then khai came, walked to central , i sempat buy prepaid card while waiting for 358 . oh and when khai was running tht time so cute !

blah3, sent him home as always . dan danial dan was on the bus in front of us , i think i kinda narrowed the distance between us alr, i hope. hmm, then at the lift there khai and i hugged , like finally, hahah . i loved it.

yeah k dah.

asleah was like showing me some shit attitude today . i do know why i think , tht's why this morning i just Talked to her like normal hoping i could like lighten up the situation or what . she sits next to me in parade sq every morn .

so as always i told her all my random comments ah . then she kept on like, saying "oh." and nodding her head and avoiding eye contact with me. which is obviously like smth wrong ah . i know her ok -.-

tu takpe ah , i still talked to her like normal but getting ignored totally , yet i wasnt tht pissed . but then ah, during maths . you see ah, among our clique, the 8 of us are like split into 3 different classes . asleah and i happen to be in the same one. so since she didnt talk to me , i just Slept thru out the relief period ah.

so the thing is , nobody woke me up when the bell rang . including asleah. so i missed my lunch period, only waking up when it was like mother tongue alr. it pissed me off ah ! like i kept asking myself wtf was wrong with her sey .

so i stomped off to my MT class , angry and a little bit wanted to cry too . saw khai at the end of the classrooms corridor , tried to smile but i didnt have the strength . my lips were trembling .

when i was sitting at my place in the 3rd level spare room , i suddenly got real pissed at the neatness of tht classroom. stood up and started banging the tables, and kicking and throwing them across the room .

and then i just Sat back down and started shivering . i heard someone call my name , turned out to be khai and he asked if i was ok , so i just Nodded and looked back away .

then when he was gone i went back out to go to the toilet cos ppl were saying tht my lips were bleeding . came out to bump into faris and irshad . faris said hi to me and i naturally just Ignored without bothering to even glance at him .

then faris was like , "eh dont emo ah." i heard irshad gg all, "asal ngan dier sia?" like what does he care? then the tone also, like as if my anger irritated him like tht . what a douche!

k im done for today . tmrw then i share the few funny stuff tht i witnessed today .
and a little reminder , people have good intentions behind their actions .

gosh, today was another one of my not-so-fave days .

awesome moment !

hi , today was very very tight! had so many things booking me and bogging me down today, aft sch . there was MT remedial , MTL fortnight karaoke thingy , meeting , slack with khai , maths tuition. but it was all worth it !

mm hmm ... guess what ? today was amazing ^^ i love khai so much. u did awesome lah babe. haha. i loved it , and i love you!

today was awesome , spent the day with my khai . hehe. and he kissed me on my lips today ! i love his lips haha . then he said mine like marshmallow -.-
k, i love him .

short update only !

khairul irfan ♥

alrighty , went to kfc with siying and shushan earlier. alot of shit we laughed abt! esp. siying, the girl laughs a hell lot ♥ "ambek kau!"

blah blah blah , went to meet up with khai. he so cute !



went carpark rooftftop, and guess what.
it had exactly the same shelter as like the one on 500A sia !!!!! i got so happy, immediately climbed the little shelter. almost cried !!

k and then khai and i camwhore .





he and i are inseparable for now!

truly amazing videography and editting .
such intricate detail .

last night !

yesterday was peanuts . went to dte with my mom, nazriq, and my grandma . to eat ! i got curry rice, which was like smth i've always wanted to eat. straightway announced on facebook sey, hehe. (which is smth quite rare)

ok , so we ate, and it was my first time using facebook with khai's phone . blah3, nazriq and i sat at the pond thingy near the popeye's , just When this huge fish swam near us , and we were like, "eh woah!" damn bloody big sia the fish !

i saw it swim around like fwoosh! not only was it the biggest , it was the fastest sia! what else, jakonist mode ah.

made our way to mccafe , and got jakonist over the cakes . and then my mom ordered some hot chocolate where the guy draws smth on the fluffy stuff . damn awesome sey! yeah lah, jakonist lah. as for cake , nazriq and i got the oreo cheese cake one .

heh, both were faboulous! ytd was tiring as well though , kept getting frustrated and stressed over the slightest things . mm hmm ... k im hungry right now.

i'm a zombie right now.
guess what? when i closed my eyes and dozed off for awhile, i heard a little girl's voice in my head saying, "i'm sorry papa." and then i saw this girl sitting on a chair in a little victorian dress, head full of blonde curls .

just Like a doll .

For Khai ♥

song used: Lost In You - Three Days Grace
just A kind of teaser. a vid for khai coming soon ! more towards the coming, but not the soon. it's coming. but not soon. k u get it.

quick update !

hey lans ! hahaha. alrighty. currently editting footages tht i've collected the past week , so im just Gonna do this one quick update . first things first, prep exams are over! hehehehe. but prelims are starting on the first of august , and then there's MT n level oral.

ive finally gotten the chance to video edit ! gosh.

some funny stuff from this week !

asleah and i were walking past a table and were like talking when a girl from tht table yelled real loudly "ow !!!" asleah looked at the direction with a shocked face and was like, "terpranjat sey , aku ingat kau pijak kaki dier !"

i started laughing like shit and then we parted to do our stuff awhile . halfway thru i started snorting cos i tried to hold in my laugh . when we reunited, we told each other abt how we tersenyom sorang ! hahaha. hooboy, funny shit sia.

and then there was the farhan banging his canvas today during art... kelakar giler babz sia!

spent time with khai alot these few weeks. hehe. ive been trying to open up to his friends more, i wanna be the friendly one. k tht's too much, i just Wanna be friendly full stop. hehe.

khai is so cute in here ! hahahaha, i love him ♥