an assurance .

heidiho! hmm, last night, went to a family gathering at cik ani's. as always, there was lots of funny shit cause of the aunts and uncles and cousins. and there was also maya cousie :3 most of the time were like slacking with emi, aidil, and anaqin. tht part was funny xD

look at this. from "Wake" .



anyhoos, it is a beautiful monday morning and as you can see, there is no sch today :3 my sleep was good, altho i kept waking up at random times. and each time i checked my phone, there would be new texts.

first there was pearl asking me abt hw. next, there was yongheng asking me abt shifts. and then there was sab wishing me happy chinese new year (which i dont like cause i dont celebrate...) and then there was shad greeting a good morning.

so what are my plans for today you ask? first things first, i shall get all my homework done by today. i'm left with a little of geog, and malay. the whole of malay . yeah =.=

and then aft this, i'll go re-do the collage in my wardrobe! what collage you ask? come, i show you what is inside of my cupboard. this is an april pic btw, if i aint wrong.



hahaha. cool kan? i got bored.

it's falling apart alr, considerably. so i shall re-do it later. oh! or maybe i should only re-do it aft i print photos . hmmm, yeah ..... as you can see in the pic, all them photos are childhood stuff :3

ok. i shall blog again later. see you! o and this morning came with good news. xD so damn happy.

another unusual sunday morning.

had breakkie with my parents and naz today, at the dining table. as always, naqib wasnt with us. but we all still had an awesome family time.

my mom was on the phone and then my dad bent down next to the radio to adjust some stuff. when my mom hung up, she didnt see my dad crouched down right in front of her and she was like, "eh, bapak kau maner!? tadi kater nak makan samer-samer!?"

my bro and i laughed like shit sia! and then my dad just stood up and gave my mom the =____________= face.

we were eating and talking and everyone was like dadadoo when suddenly the radio made one really loud BOM sound. both my parents jumped sia! and they both melata (idk how spell) !! holy shit, i laughed like shit sia, good thing i wasnt drinking anything !

i went to take a bottle of orange juice from the fridge, and i was abt to drink it when i saw the expiry date was on the 21st. i said to my bro, "shit... expire on the 21st......" i stared at him in horror and then i was like staring at the expiry date.

then i was like, "eh? eh today still january la." and then i casually sipped the orange juice, cause the expiry date is the 21st feb. my bro gave me one hell of an annoyed face and then he started laughing xD

mommy was telling us stories abt her workplace, as always. halfway thru my bro left the dining table, and then when my mom was sipping her coffee, my dad left too. my mom straightway was like, "hey, come back here! aku belum habis cerita!"

my dad was like -.-.-.-.-.- "eh, paksa sey!" hahhahhaha so he obediently sat down and my mom continued her story again. and guess what? her story today was kinda cool. wanna hear it?

okay, so she was like randomly asking her colleague named dina if she wanted to trade places at work. mom was doing ticketing while dina was doing gate, which she apparently hates doing, but my mom likes.

but then my mom remembered tht she cant do gate, cause she cant go in the place without her pass, which would only be ready the following week. so they were like, ok nvm , looks like we cant trade places aft all.

everyone was like dadadoo, when mom heard from other colleagues tht dina screwed up big-time at the gate. rumours were flying tht dina had to be dismissed over tht mistake, and what's more it was the third time she did smth wrong.

mom said tht dina was crying over her dismissal. mom did a little of thinking and then she told me, "if i had been able to trade places with her, i would have done so. none of tht would have happened, and dina wouldn't have been dismissed."

get it ? meaning to say, there was an intuition tht smth was gonna go wrong, thts why my mom randomly asked dina if they could trade places.

anyhoos, how was my morning you ask? i spent the morning sitting in bed, reading "Wake" . i've finished reading it, such an incredible book! i saw its sequel in the lib as well, shall borrow tht soon.

was eating chocolate, when i saw a few drops of blood on the choc. straightway dashed to the toilette to take a look in the mirror, and i thought it was my loose tooth but guess what? it was my taring. the vampire tooth. it was bleeding like hell non-stop... i do not know why.

kalaulah darah tu dtg dari tempat lain .
if u get what i mean.

hmm. so. there's no sch tmrw and the day aft. i have done most of my homework. i'm still unstable emotionally, tho the physical unstability is alr an accustomisation. [sorry for the cheem english]

i shall go read the other book tht i borrowed now, titled "incredibly alice". hmmmm. hopefully it's as enjoyable as "Wake".

i wonder where is z shady boy. and the siying girl. i miss them both. i cried last night, i missed them so much. haix.



awwww.....
yeah, i just realized i dont have a proper picture of the 3 of us.

somehow, i feel like i have your attention only when i'm sick .
haix.

if tht's the case, i wouldn't mind being sick all year round every year, just so i would have you guys' attention .

[yeah fuckers, i'm still a girl no matter what. a young girl with a dad who works all the time and a mom who pays more attention to her brothers , of course i'm a fucking attention seeker sometimes]

seperation .

okay, good. i have settled my broadband. now all tht's left is to pay for tys and irshad's money.

been reading irshad's texts from nov last year. somehow, we're so distant nowadays. and we've gone further apart ever since sch started for him. i dont know what to feel towards tht. i understand the situation. but it still saddens me .

the book i am reading . this girl, she'll get pulled into other ppl's dreams if they sleep near her, whether or not she's awake. she's now telling her boy tht they can't sleep tgt , or she'll always be interfering with his nightmares. tht's just sad.

and fruits basket, remember fruits basket? they'll all turn into animals when hugged by ppl of the opposite genders. it'll take them a long time to find someone who accepts them for who they are, and it's just sad, that they cant even find solace in a simple embrace...

it's like being with the one you love, but separated by a glass wall. just imagine tht. you can see each other, but it's just... not the same. you guys can't hold each other, or kiss, or touch his/her face. and if he/she cries, you can't hold him/her and say tht everything's alright.

because it's not.

and even if you put your palm against his/hers, the glass wall is... cold. there's no sign of warmth, and it just makes you cry a lot more harder doesnt it ?

i feel tht way now. there's smth missing . so very missing, but i have no idea what is it. once again, i'm having tht feeling of being afraid to be near the person i love. and yet, i so desire to be next to him right now.

what is this madness? i do not understand it. i am not used to it. i have never in my life felt an unidentified feeling as strong as this . is this what it really feels like to be 'in love' ?

first day of work for 2012 !

so i hear z MKI and his gf have been saying things like "we were in love all along, just separated for 5 months or so." ? so what, am i like the bad guy now?

the time now is 6.36 and i am currently listening to z "ice box" cover by there for tomorrow. i'm so cold, i'm so cold, i'm so cold indeed. anyhoos, let me share with ya my day today .

woke up around 7 plus i think? lazed in bed for awhile before finally getting up some eons later to get ready for work. was replacing bennicker, cause he couldnt make it last min, i think. glad i jumped in at the opportunity, really need the moolah .

reported for work just in time, thought i would be early. today there was aqilah (havent seen her in a while) , wadi (new guy) and me (le awesome douche) as playguides. yes, there was a shortage of staff, because this other new dude named jarod didnt turn up, apparently.

good thing for me, i got BP so i didnt have to juggle the three stations i.e. MP , AH, and BOC . tht would have been damn tiring, i'm alr drained of all my strength.

hmm what next? there wasnt any funny stuff, really. cause i was like alone, not much ppl to disturb sia. /: BUT I WS FREEZING MY BUTT OFF THE WHOLE TIME!!

during my break, i sat huddled in the corner with my legs tucked under the table, eating cookies. started reading my newly borrowed book titled Wake, and when i got back to work i truly regretted tht because i should have went out of ehub to suck in the heat instead.

well , but i survived. yong heng was doing AH, he was mid shift , and occasionally he came over to talk to me when he had nth else to do. when i told him i was cold he was like, "oh yeah! just now i was like thinking eh why she never wear her black and white the striped jacket?"

i was like, "i returned it alr. was my bf's." and then he was like, "haiyo. so wasted. tht thing alr become ur trademark here leh." hah.

when my shift was near ending, hanah came over to me and was like asking me to tie for her scorpion. and then we chit chatted a while, and we were both uber shocked to know tht we were the same age! and she's a sec 5 too :3

talked, and laughed, and then it became 4.02 so i made my way to ops office to clock out. and guess what? ive gotten my pay!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes, both of them. the one for 22nd dec, and for 26th/27th dec. hehehehe! happy like monkey .

hm what next? made my way to central, to hunt for chemicals. just nice, it rained when i got back to the bus stop . it rained uber heavily too! there were so many puddles sey!

when i got back at the elias cc , i was like getting pissed at my bro cause he wouldnt fetch me with a brolly. i had food thts why i didnt want to walk in the rain . in the end, i was forced to sumbat my food into my bag .

fortunately enough for me, i managed to find a route tht had shelter, from the cc all the way to my house :3 yeah! wasnt tht drenched as i thought i would be. was freezing like hell tho. (altho tht does not make any sense)

so yeah, reached home and straightway consumed my chemicals along with grape juice.

hm, apart from tht, i have got things to settle now, financially. first things first, to pay for tys tht teachas have ordered for us. $20 in total, for 3 subjects. and then there's broadband, which is also 20 bucks. and then there's the money shady lent me for the week, which is $45.

still hafta get some other sch stuff too . hooboy. when will this all end? and when will i get my sch allowance again? /:

wanna know smth ? i feel so damn lucky. altho i'm having several types of difficulties right now, i feel truly, truly blessed. for everything, everything in my life, even the bad things. i'm so damn grateful to be me .

continue being a douche and you'll see why your mother always just wants to beat the crap out of you.

unstability .

okay, i am home now my dear firetrucks. let us share today now shall we?

HOLY FIRETRUCK, HOLD ON! my brothers helping me kill the lizard in my room. hahaha. here i am staring with my mouth open. jap jap .

kay i am back . wor kelakar per. okay, where was i ? yeahh, today.

in the morn, walked to sch with timothy. saw nicholas jude at spc, joined him and then we all walked tgt, talking and catching up on each other's lives. when tim and i got in the sch gate, i had this feeling, idk what intuition shit, and then i turned around.

guess who i saw? yes, the most handsome boy in the world. the colour in my black and white. the Love of my Life. somehow, he happened to turn around slowly too , and laid his eyes exactly on me. tht was a really pretty moment ((x

got so damn happy. and then tim was like holding thumbs up cause i was so damn happy. and then, i tripped him on the way to the classroom. he fell for it, (get it?) and then i was like laughing my heart out.

he was like =____= his face was like, he must have thought i would have been better off an emo bitch. hehehe.

SIYING BOUGHT ME MATHS TB !!!!!! T.T cause i lost mine. she was there when i was so damn upset and searching the whole classroom for it. she told me she'd get me one, but i was like NO. but i guess she can be pretty stubborn when she wants to, too .

i didnt want to tell irshad abt my maths tb cause i was afraid he'd buy. in the end, siying still got it for me. thank you so much ! and then she was like, "now tht ive gotten you your maths tb, you better get your A2 for maths ok?" T______________T

had test during chemy, on metals. good thing i still rmb some of the stuff from last year, so i could do it pretty well. did my best. had maths, where i did my work cause i had a tb :3 and then it was english, slacked with siying, timothy and jiayao.

during recess, i was like walking around the canteen aimlessly. and then i saw asleah and timothy so i joined them in the queue. and then fedex gf was in front of us -.-

somehow, i found tht an awkward moment. she's my ex's gf, and just a few months ago she was my bf's ex. hmmm . a complicated relationship between us, and yet we have never talked to each other before. tht's why ive never mentioned her name, cause i have no rights to say it.

WAHLAU MY FOOD 1.80 SIA . i knew it. shouldnt have bought from tht stall, always end up so expensive. dammit la, i'm just gonna starve myself, and sleep during my break tmrw at work.

during mother tongue, i did my work. hey now tht i think abt it, i think i was being an extremely good girl at sch today. i suspect it has smth to do with seeing tht boy in the morning ^_^

when the 12.20 bell rang, everyone teros kecoh!!! cause today we were dismissed earlier, heheh. waited at canteen with asleah and sab , for the chinese girls. but apparently they all went on ahead without us, so the three of us just went home too .

walked sab to her place, halfway thru i started talking abt jubo when sab was like, "jubo tu aper?" xD splitz at her house lift before making my way to central bus stop to take bus from there.

good thing i did, cause at the next stop, a drizzle of loyang students boarded. the stop aft tht, a flood of greenviews. and then, the next two stops, a whole tsunami of prcs -.-

slacked at home awhile, only naqib was home. and then around like idk-what-time, decided to go for a walk. was barely getting emotional when my mom texted asking me to go airport meet her. so i made my way to bus stop with 53.

i missed the bus, and guess what? the next one only came like 35 minutes later. idk why. halfway thru the waiting, the rain got heavier and heavier, and it got horrible. good thing i was wearing hoodie. i appreciate the rain. but it does not mean i like it .

o and when the 89 came, a girl in prcs uniform suddenly came at me and hugged the shit out of me!! guess who it was, it was my dear childhood friend .

i was like, "oy you skip school !?!?" syazana was like, "NO! i went to take my english homework!" and she was with her boyfriend. somehow it felt nice to be meeting a childhood friend's boyfriend.

when i arrived at terminal 1, i was alr freezing my ass off so i sat outside to warm up a bit. my mom came eons later to fetch me, and then we made our way in, and to take the skytrain to T2 cause i wanted to eat .

we ate swensen's, where i got the chicken baked rice . usually i'd get the fish , but, just thought i'd try new things. since the things i like somehow taste horrible, i'll take the chance to try things i usually dont eat. take advantage of your misery .

and yes, as you can see, my appetite has gotten better. i even asked for ice-cream, tho i didnt finish tht, which is a rarity ...

1 NEW MESSAGE!
....oh it's not z shady boy. *shoulders slumped*

took train back to pasir ris, where mommy and i splitz cause i wanted to go to the library but she was lazy to follow me. so i went on ahead, felt kinda sad at this point of time.

borrowed this book abt a girl who's always gg into other ppl's dreams. interesting aye? to me. as you all know i take my dreams very very seriously, tho idk why . borrowed two books, tht one and another one which is a teen romance. yeah , ive been reading tht a lot alr.

went to popular to buy a B2P for my diary. mom gave me money to get her a calculator, but there wasnt the one tht she wanted so i was like wondering what to do with her money. thought i'd use it to get me a little smth for sch . but i didnt.

still wondering when i'll get my allowance again. hmm .

blah3, i am z homie.

somehow, i feel really angry whenever i think abt the times tht irshad left me aft we shared first kiss. i dont know why. i think it's got smth to do with what i went thru when i was with khairul , i think?

i have been very unstable these days in more ways than 1. financially, emotionally, physically. and yeah, i dont even know why . it's ok though, this life is a blessing. a hexed blessing. a blessed hex .

remember how the dentist always tells us to continue brushing our teeth even when our gums start bleeding? yeah, life is like tht. just suck the blood, cause blood tastes good :B

it's getting into my head .

feels kinda boring to be home so early. heidiho, yes we were all dismissed earlier today. i completely forgot abt it and brought stuff for self-study. o well . anyhoos, let's share with you what happened for the past few days .

where did i stop? aye, wednesday. okay let's go thru thursday now shall we? which was ytd. hmmmmm aper jadi eh, semalam?

we had art first, where i didnt do much apart from a few random sketches of stuff from my mindmap. aft tht we had english, where we had to get into groups of multi races and genders. was in the same group as siying and timothy .

then mr syafie was like wondering what to do with the ppl who were absent ytd. he was makin up random short-forms using the initials of the ppl in the groups, if you get what i mean. then blah3, got into the group at the corner .

he was like, "kay maybe we should put eunice in tht group. with amalina, (he wrote an A on the board), rayner, (an R) and shih ying (an S) ." he stared at what he wrote, and then he drew an arrow from eunice's name to the space next to S, and added an E .

get it !? so it became an A,R,S E !! omg i laughed like shit sia Oo then he was like wondering where to put jia yao. he looked at our group and was like, "siying, (wrote an S) , eindah, (an E) and timothy (a T) ... ok, set , you guys take jia yao." xD

during group discussion, somehow ended up talking abt tim's ex . then they suddenly asked me whether i feel awkward if i walk past mine. i was like, "uhm ...no?" then they were like, "not even if both of you were alone?" i was like, "NO ."

we had recess aft tht, where i dont rmb anything happening . aft tht was physics, where we got back our test results. guess what, ive got 14/16 . hehe. and then, aft tht we had ss test pulak, where i did my best and wrote all i could.

aft tht was mother tongue, and then lunch, where we all slacked in class, doing our own things. was just reading my book the whole time, while the rest were eating, chatting and blasting music.

had maths aft tht. i had no mood to do anything just cause my maths tb went missing. yeah, it went missing some days before. aft sch, stayed back cause i didnt stay back the previous day. cut out the letters with penknife , and halfway thru i suddenly just tossed the thing away from me, cause i had this image of slashing my own neck .

holy shit sia! i dont know why i had tht image come to my head. i just stood up and walked around watching the others do their work. and then i went back to the penknife, picked it up and started cutting again. but i just couldnt, so i stopped cutting out the letters alr.

some eons later went to ws to meet with my mom . followed her grocery shopping, sneaked some stuff into the basket when she wasnt looking. as always .

bought mee soto . i was craving it. and then we were z homie. bathed, ate, slacked , and then did my chemy stuff, and then went to lie down on the bed awhile. was listening to my LOML playlist, when i fell asleep .....

woke up to Beautiful (Nine Days) , and then realized i had a text from irshad... replied it, unplugged me earpiece and then i fell back asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. was exhausted...

woke up at random times thru out the night sia. in my dream, i had the feeling tht i was awake, and then a few secs later i would see tht i was in my own room. if you get what i mean?

anyhoos, imma go out for awhile now. when i get back home, i'll blog abt today kay? love you firetrucks. oh! and i think we have got a new regular reader with us . heads up to who can guess the newest firetrucker in our firetruck family {: give you a clue, it's one of our classmate.

happy guessing. it's gonna rain! but that has never stopped me gg for walks. so, goodbye my firetrucks. love you all .

most annoying best friend in the whole world

heidiho! i have been away . shh, i'm here now~

let's update you on my life, cause, my life has been wonderful. a hexed blessing. a blessed hex. be appreciative of things you dislike, cause, when they're gone, it'll trouble you all the more, in some way, or another.

on monday the 16th, i went to z prp with irshad. ytd, tuesday the 17th, siying and i followed my mom to make some deliveries to z toa payoh ocbc, cause my dad's colleagues ordered her cookies. let's just go thru the funny shit ?

we slacked at popular while waiting for my mom to settle some issue with her customers. we went thru the sections one by one, and then i saw a book titled Sex on the Moon. i straightway took tht and was like WOAH! then siying was like =_________=

and guess what? tht book was under the non-fiction section . cool kan?

tudut tut tudut tut. the fish book! xD

o, and then the cover of tht book (yeah it's really called The Fish Book) was picture of lohan eh? when siying picked up the book i was like, "asleah!" she looked at me with a blur face, before taking another look at the fish. and then she laughed like shit !

she was like, "wahlau you so bad! xD" and then we were like tudut tut tudut tut. the FISH BOOK! and then we laughed at some other fish species tht looked ultra weird !

cleared tht whole aisle, and then we made our way to the stationery. was looking at z notebooks, and then i found a whole collection of the thick 3.90 notebooks! it was like a whole village! i felt like i just discovered the smurfs village sia.

and then siying and i bumped into these notebooks tht had letters on them. there was the one that had an S. looked some more and saw another that had a B . siying was like, "B for bitch! S for slut."

dug around some more, saw one with F. we were both like "F for firetrucker!" and then, i saw the last one, which was a W. i was like, "hmm. i wonder what W would stand for." siying straightway was like, "W for whore!"

omg. i laughed like shit sia! tht girl . she's my most annoying best friend in the whole world !

met up with my mom and bro , and then we went to pizza hut. i held siying and naz's hands, and then naz held my mom's. all 4 of us were like all walking hand in hand, aww . we went to eat pizza hut, where siying and i shared the regular curry chicken .

when the dude served us our drinks, he was like, "enjoy your meal." everyone was like dadadoo and then my mom was like, "enjoy your meal? we've only just been served our drinks." siying and i laughed like shit !

while eating, there was this point of time tht i looked at siying. she happened to be lookin at me as well, and then she smiled-like-wanna-laugh . tht look was priceless sia, i snickered to myself while cutting up me pizza!

sent her home via taxi, and then blah3 i am z homie . here are some random pics tht we took while mommy was paying da bill :3





as for today? aft sch i cabot from the class thingy with pearl. we sat at the bus stop, she was waiting for her mom . felt like we were gg home tgt, just like last time. kinda miss having her living opposite .

guess what? i went to clinic . like finally right, irshad?

aft tht, went to meet with z shady boy, i was like asking where we gg. he was like, "anywhere you want." i was like, orlando florida ...... but of cos, we just went to z prp :3

sat at the breakwaters chit chatting as always . have i told you, when i started talking as happily as before, irshad was like, "welcome back darling" . so sweet T.T

some time later, we went off to go hunt some chemicals. saw the twin cats again, approached them and tried to make them come but the boy was like so scared, like as if its sis wouldnt allow it to come near us. but damn cute!

took 403 to the pond area , the air con was freaking blasting into my face. while shady bought his food (i wasnt tht hungry) i went to play swings awhile, some mat in the distance was like looking at me the whole time. got damn irritated .

went to shady when he was done and then we walked to some void deck where he could consume his chemicals. went to buy our liquids and when i was running shady was like, over the corner, "THERE'S NO NEED TO RUN." -__________-

while eating (he) chit chatted some more, abt the ppl in sch . he said tht time, when he and the rest came over my house for raya, z MKI texted naim as well sia, telling him , "eh next time u go eindah house you better tell me first." WOW . i didnt know tht.

the song playing now is Blood in my Eyes, Sum 41. suits sia .

anyhoos, and then when walking back to his place, i was like, "i wanna piggy back you." then he was like, ok. HE WAS LIKE OK! usually he would say NO and lecture abt me having possibility of getting injured if i carry him .

so yeah, i piggybacked him, and it was damn fun!! altho i struggled a bit (and the moron was like "ooh, free touchy time!") , it was a great first timer, cause he's always the one piggybacking me!

when walking to his place, kept pestering him to let me piggy back him some more. i was like, "let me piggy back you across the road!" he was like, "I'LL DIE!" and then i kept pestering him some more, and then he did this little jump (idk what to label it) and was like throwing a tantrum tht kind. damn cute!

went to his place and waited for him to fetch me my diary. my dear old diary! then finally he allowed me to piggy back him one more time. hehehehe!

on my bus ride home, read my own diary. tht notebook is even more beautiful now, because the Love of my Life has laid his eyes on its words.

hey, wanna see smth ? guess who's this .



hahaha, i kind of like it.been awhile since i last took pics of myself, because of the whole fiasco i was in the last 2 weeks. hehe. o, and the problem with me is, there's too much acid in my stomach . yupp . thank you for your concern my firetrucks!

i'm damn tired.

yeah. for the Love of my Life, i shall go to the doc. haix. i hate the doc. but, i shall go. dammit. did i really say i would ...? haizz . i hope i dont back out/regret. this is shameless of me, but can i at least get a notebook as my reward if i do as told ?

anyhoos, let's reminisce today .

first period was malay . guess what, i did my homework sia. MALAY homework . arent you all proud of me? and i didnt sleep at all during the 2 periods, instead, everyone else was . but me, i was furiously writing down notes.

next was english, and we were watching some vid tht had boobies and female butts (dont ask) when mrs woo passed by and stopped to watch as well, and she didnt look pleased. syafie didnt look the least bit guilty at all !

during recess, the 6 of us girls from 5/1 namely siying, shushan, priscilla, pearl and asleah (and me) were walking up to the 4th floor cause somebody wanted to take maths tb or smth. i was like the last in the line as we were walking up the stairs .

guess what? along came mrs sherri, and yeah, all our fringes were down. saw her talking to pris and pearl. and me? without thinking, i turned my back and dashed down the stairs, and headed to the canteen on my own .

holy shit sia! i escaped, and abandoned my comrades. horrible little douche right?

sat at the canteen alone, on the usual table by the councillior room . along came sab's little cousin, (whose name i still do not know) he was like asking, "may i sit here?" there was a little silence and then im like, "they're on the way down."

he stared at me like O_____O and then he nodded and went to sit at some bench behind me. sab and farizah came , and then many eons later the girls from 5/1. asleah glared at me and was like, "you escape, you betrayer!"

i brought cupcakes to sch today! a blueberry, a chocolate, and my bro's cheese chiffon. i took the last one, shhh! realized tht i had coins, enough for 2 paos, so tht was what i ate too !

humans was good. i paid attention and i understand more abt the rise of venice now. i heard tht they went thru venice during bridging, which i missed bcos i didnt go . glad i could catch up.

so what helped venice rise? first point is the leadership, next point is innovative processes. third, trading developments. fourth, rearrangements in the government. lastly, the industrial developments. heh!

aft tht we had maths, where i heard a convo which i laughed like shit at .

omg, i laughed like shit sia. timothy was damn shocked when i burst out laughing, he was like, "woah. this is like the first time you laugh until like tht. what's so funny, can share the joke?" i put on a straight face and was like, "no." then i stopped smiling too .

he stared at me and was like, "ok. now you're back to your normal self. tht was so fast." i nodded and then i tried to do my maths. tried because a few secs later i burst into laughter again!

then timothy kept asking me to share the joke. so i did. i told him the convo tht i heard:

mr low: do all the exercise 1s in the ex book #1, and do all the exercise 2s in the ex book #2 .
wei liat: huh then got exercise book #3 also ah!?

YEAH, FOR SOME REASON I FOUND IT FUNNY OKAY .
and yeah , timothy was also damn shocked to know tht i find it funny. hooboy.

aft tht was cme , where we wrote abt our addictions . and then we wrote journal . and then hurrah, the last bell for the sch day rang.

went to e hub with siying and asleah, with the intention of writing my schedule for next week. when i hopped in to the counter, wani was like "HEEEEYYYY !!!!" hehehehe. been eons since i last saw her too ! and then zafirah (gro) was like "ehhhhh it's YOU !"

asked for the 'thingy to write schedule for next week' (i really said tht cause idk what it's called) then wani passed it to me and was like "write for next next week too!" so, i wrote pm for friday the 27th, am for saturday the 28th, pm for friday the 3rd and am for saturday the 4th . hopefully i get all the shifts i requested . really need the money ... haix.

said goodiebyes to wani and zafirah , and then made our way down to sarpino cause siying wanted to treat me lunchey . luckily i was able to afford my own drink, tho i had to borrow twenty cents from asleah .

chit chatted while eating. talked abt 4/2 2011, abt missing the two kecoh dudes namely farhan and faeez (faiz tarmizi) . dammit! i really miss them . esp faeez . hmm .

saw bennicker at richton, made my way over just to say hello, and then siying asleah and i went to ntuc cause siying wanted to buy sweets. and then many eons later i am home, and gg out again to chillax at z prp .

walked all the way to the breakwater tht i slept at with siying, shad and tim. there was one part where the path got blocked by a fallen tree, i had to make my way around it , and tht part was firetrucking nerve-wrecking !

sat by the waves, the tide was damn high . was writing in diary when i kinda felt a presence behind me. i thought irshad came alr, but i ignored tht aura cause i thought he would have nudged me if it really was him .

was quite some time, tht aura lingering behind me. at one point i kinda freaked out and gathered the guts to turn around, and there he was : the most handsome boy in the world. the Love of my Life.

his face was like by mine, and i was like "oh SHIT!" cause he shocked the shit out of me sia! he laughed as always and then he sat next to me and i'm like, "how long have you been standing there?" he pointed at a para in my latest entry and was like, "ever since you wrote there."

i was like, "and why didnt you say anything?" he was like, "because you looked so damn engrossed in your writing." somehow, i find tht a little sweet .



talked abt the personal shit some more. haix .

now, my diary is with him. idk why but i had the feeling to lend him me current diary suddenly, so tht was what i did. mmmhmm, sometimes i just do things without thinking sia.i miss the lil notebook now. o well .

guess what ? hmm ... i'll go to the clinic this week . haix.

eh! guess what? holy firetruck . i miss them.

an awesome younger brother.

heidiho. here's how my day went.

went to ws with bro, and he treated me mad jack. didnt want to eat smth so expensive actually, but he kept insisting so i just agreed to it, eventually. tried to find smth cheap to eat but it's a sunday, so sadly there was no student meal.

he told me the waiter looked so much like khairul irfan, and then i was like, o yeah! he did say tht his brother works here. and then each time tht waiter passed by us, or attended to us, my bro and i would smile at each other for no reason.

at the end of it all , i drew on the tissue a Thank You with a little smiley face. and then we made our way to the library cause our intention was to study/do homework .

guess what? i did my malay weekend homework! when was the last time i did smth tht cikgu fatimah assigned us? yes, idr. all i rmb is doing stuff tht i owe her, not stuff which she just newly gave, if you get what i mean.

all was good, my bro was obediently doing his homework too. just so you know, he's a very stubborn kid. and if you're thinking, just like his sister, hehehehe. =_______=

in the midst of doing our work, i randomly asked him, "where is popular?" he pointed to the ceiling, but then i was like, "really? but the ceiling's so high. where's popular?" and then he got real dumbfounded.

cause really! i've always wondered where the hell is popular, when the library ceiling is so high but the escalator from the 4th to 5th storey aint tht long.

around 6, we went to popular cause i needed to get some stuff. searched like shit for the freaking exercise books sia. i spent some eons at the tys section cause i was like wondering which one to buy. and then in the midst of my dilemma, i had a flashback :

esha (bro's gf) : ...eindah?
me: uh?
esha: hey!
me: uh ...?
esha: ._. i'm your brother's girlfriend ?
me: ohhhh . hi.
esha: how are you?? i thought we were gonna go out the other time!
me: oh, i was sick.
esha: i see.
me: mm.
esha: so ... you in sec 5?
me: yeahh.
esha: study hard ok? it's your O levels. which reminds me, do you want any of my ten year series? i've many which i barely did !
me: o sure.
esha: okay! i'll pass them to your bro for ya! :DDDDD
me: k, thanks.

SO YEAH . i dont really hafta buy o level tys now, thanks to z brother's girlfriend. and yeah, we had tht convo. we sure did ...

where was i ? o aye, uh huh. in the end i bought my a3 drawing paper, ring file, dividers, and z exercise book . the bill wasnt even 9 bucks! thanks to z popular card !

went elias mall awhile, where i bought my prepaid card. and then bro bought me chocolate cupcakes from prima deli , aw... he seems to have this awareness of my being broke, somehow. cause usually he would give some excuse like he's broke when i know he's loaded.

so anyhoos. the day started off terrible, but i ended it with an awesome younger brother by the name of Nazriq E'irfan .

what am i gonna do abt this financial problem of mine you ask? i had 32 in my box, and then irshad transferred 30 more bucks into my account this afternoon. spent money on prepaid, and stationery, and to top up ezlink card.

k, i'll survive the whole week on the remaining cash . tmrw imma go to workplace and write my request for next week's schedule, and hopefully get my pays which i left sitting in gin's drawer since weeks ago. should i try working full shifts ?

thank you irshad, for lending me the money. and thank you siying, for offering to treat me lunchey tmrw. you guys have no idea how firetrucking grateful i am to you . *SOB*

I AM DOOMED.

it is a beautiful sunday morning and guess what, i'm fucked up.

i am broke . i've only 32 bucks in tht little pink box of mine. wanna know why? the past sch days, ive been using my own money as sch allowance, cause apparently my parents are angry with me and dont wanna leave me anymore money.

next reason, is because i didnt collect my two weeks' pay some weeks ago. i dont know if i can still take them, cause ive never kept my pays with them before, if you get what i mean.

last reason, is because my father took my bursary money. i used it only to buy my sch stuff and sch bag, and the rest, he kept it in his bank. and he aint letting me have any more.

yeah, i am doomed. hopefully by tmrw they'd give me my sch money again. or not i'll have to starve every recess and lunch, and aft sch i'll have to go home straight to cook myself some maggi. with breaded prawns.

i am doomed !!!! i still needa get some more sch stuff, like ring file, dividers, A2 drawing paper, and chemy tys. dammit! to make things worse, i need moolah for the likes of transport (ezlink) and communication (prepaid and broadband) purposes as well.

so, is it my fault tht i'm in this state right now? wait, dont answer that. dont have to rub it in my face.

darn it. i've never been this broke for all i rmb. WHAT DO I DO !?!?!?

damn girl .

heidiho, guess what? i seriously miss the three of them right now. altho we've only gone out just twice, when it's all 4 of us, gg out with them is like the only thing tht can make me really happy right now. feels like ive been deprived of them for years.

how was my day you ask? it was boring. i spent the whole day at home, and i was so damn restless sia. i kept feeling like i had smth to do (which i most probs have, eg homework), but it's like i had no energy or strength to even get up from bed.

wrote a lot in diary tho. it's really like the one tht i tell the most things to. of course, the notebook varies every time so it's not really one, but yeah, you get what i mean.

but... the thing abt the most beautiful woman on earth, i rarely talk abt it even in my diaries. i'm like used to not talking abt it much. so if you were to read thru all my diaries, i rarely talk abt it actually . maybe just once in a blue moon, but never aft every attack. just thought i'd say this .

anyhoos, i think we have got a new reader by the name of timothy. idk, he knows my blog address, and he asked for the new one, but whether he reads it or not i do not know.

seems like im a good influence with all this diary writing, cause he's even got his own diary now. he started writing aft our study session with siying, which was on the 10th. we shall see if he stays commited, which i hope he does cause his notebook is a really f a t one. it'll be a pity if he doesnt put it to good use.

tmrw i shall sing straitjacket feeling . yesterday was hell but today i'm fine without you. haix, i really miss those three. the way they all comforted me . irshad with the usual stuff, siying with the annoying/irritating me, timothy with the tryna make me laugh. hehe. yeahh... i guess those three are really the ones who can really make me happy right now .

i'm restless .

a voice has been telling me to go to the doc. i told it to shut up, but it told me tht the only way to make it shut up is to go to the doc. so, the voice is still ringing away in my head right now .

i've decided on my art topic, chose the first one. and ive gotten my three ideas, so all tht's left is to write ms chua my concept brief. it's a really simple topic but hopefully with my creativity i'd be able to complicate it in order to score marks.

i aimed an A2 for my n level art, but sadly i only got a 3. my target for o levels shall be a 2 as well, and imma work really hard to meet with it. and for my maths too, which target is a 2 too.

have i told you? my aunt (mom's sis) and uncle is gonna get me a cammie :3 for my videography stuff, and then aft o levels, they would be upgrading my comp to a macbook. and then my uncle gonna get me some other videography equipment.

AND, my aunt wants me to get my driver's license as soon as i turn 18, and she's gonna get me a car too. O: hopefully irshad would be with me til then, and then we could all go car-browsing tgt. (tht was his suggestion :3)

mmhmm.... better study really hard then. what are my targets for Os you ask?

subject//my target for Ns//what i got for Ns//my target for Os
english//A1//A1//A1
malay//A2//A2//A1
maths//A1//B3//A2
science//A2//A2//A1
humans//B4//B3//A2
art//A2//B3//A2

yes, my targets are waiting for me. i shall meet them there and not halfway, never halfway. if tht's where i planned to meet them, i shall meet them there. ok, done abt tht, look at this.



wanna go there? great! i shall grant you your wish.

oh yeah, earlier on i suddenly had this crazy idea for a 2011 cohort party. just imagine! the area where 4/2 had chalet at tht time, and then one class takes one chalet. cool kan? 4/2 would be between 4/1 and 4/3 of course :3

wow, tht'd be awesome sia. O: yeahh, i'll have to work really hard for tht to happen.

why do i feel so alone? where are siying and irshad? i wonder if they're thinking of me. why does one day without them feels so much like ive not seen them for years? OHHHHH kkkk i know why alr. shall write it in my diary.

anyhoos, i can always see siying, and tim , in sch . but irshad? he's gonna be a real busy man, cause he has cca now. yeah, it does sound weird hearing him having a cca, cause all the years ive known him he has never said oh i cant, i have cca. aint used to it at all.

but o well, all tht was like, what? 2009, 2010? it's 2012 alr. and i'm taking my o levels too. we're both gonna be real busy. we'll see each other less and less and not as much as now, altho, i do hope i can see him at least one a week...

oh, oh, oh. look at this. cute right? before and after.




i wanna do some crazy firetruck shit.

i just remembered last night's dream and im scared now. i just want irshad with me right now please. please...

i just feel like blogging.

put yourself in my shoes. come on, try them on. fit your feet into my nikes. are your feet too small? too big? yeah, cause they aint your shoes. they're mine. you'll never feel the comfort tht i feel, because to me, they are just right.

but then again, when i first got these shoes, i was getting new blisters every time i wore them. the blisters would be so bad that the entire skin of my ankle would be peeled off and bleeding thru to my socks. and a box of plasters doesnt help to at least comfort the pain at all.

whats my point in saying all this you ask? i dunno, it's up to you what you wanna think .

i'm damn tired. fyi i am not emoing. i'm fine. damn fine. as always. i dont know why you guys keep asking me whether i am ok or not, cause i am. i am ok. im fine. dont worry abt me. im alright. as always .

an evening at the park

heidiho.

i ate mad jack ytd, with shushan. and as a belated bday pressie, i treated her. aft tht, went to her place , cause i had the mood suddenly, to learn more abt chemistry. and yeah, good thing i brought along my notebook, cause i learnt so much from her. *bow in respect*

ive not gone out with her for a really long time alr. and then in the midst of studying we reminisced 2009 stuff as well. aww....

meanwhile, siying and timothy and irshad were eating domino, and i thought of meeting them aftwards cause i didnt feel like eating. but then im like, k my task at shan's place is done anyway so i just went ahead to meet them .

took 109 and walked there from petrol station. was so damn happy to see them, but they kept asking why i look so sad. i was like, no? im fine. but the more i said tht the more they didnt believe me.

talked while they ate, and laughed also. managed to trip siying and timothy when they were gg to wash their hands, and then tim took out this thingy wrapped in cloth. he said it was a camcorder but the way he handled it was damn suspicious, so i didnt want to touch it.

but yeah, it is a camcorder. played with it for awhile, recording random shit. and then we decided to go to the park to play! walked there at first but we took bus halfway since it was coming in a few anyway. so, when it came, alighted right at the end.

walked to the swings, the park was so damn empty. siying got so damn excited when she saw the swings, heheh. i knew it. so we all played la. tim took the swing next to me while siying and shad took the other 2.

tim was struggling with the swings sia! he looked so helpless, i couldnt help laughing like shit when i was swinging away.

irshad was like at the same momentum as me. we were looking at each other over the distance, swing swinging, then he was like woah! you're gg 90 degrees! hahahahah, yeahh! i was gg high!

of course, halfway i got a little nauseous so i dragged my feet in the sand to stop the swing. saw some kitties in the distance so i picked up my bag and went on ahead. was walking towards them slowly when they looked at smth behind me, turned out to be irshad.

we walked by the beach and then he asked me again if there's anything wrong. i said no of course. talked abt some personal shit and then we hugged. aw...

reunited with siying and timothy. then we went to sit by the breakwaters. it was getting dark and i got down to write stuff into the sand, was typing a H when siying came along and drew an E instead.

i went off and stared at the horizon (i guess) and then i heard someone coming my way, once again it turned out to be irshad. he was like, what's wrong? why do you keep wanting to be alone? and im like, nothing? talked abt the same things again, and then we kissed.

went back to breakwaters, and then the 4 of us lied down, looking up at the sky and tht single satellite lingering above. talked abt the clouds, i still rmb a time in 2010 when i was so fascinated with the fact tht it was orangey purple.

i love this combo of the 4 of us. like so best friendly. hehehehe. yeah and then we cuddled, the respective couples. siying and tim were very noisy laughing away while irshad and i just kept each other close. and then i fell asleep! the last thing i heard was smth abt gym.

i couldnt rmb my dream, but i woke up feeling shocked. the first thing i saw was siying, so i was like o siying is here, siying is here. dont worry. and then i saw tim and then irshad looked down at me so i was like, ok im safe, im safe.

cant rmb what i dreamt of.

apart from what happened when we were waiting for the 403, everything was fine and dandy. i love these ppl, they are all uber awesome. and i loved ytd. thank you for the day guys .

so now, we shall move on to today the 13th.

in the spare classroom, tim sits next to me. he's very good company and all, but not if he's talking when im tryna listen. weeell he was funny tho, the way he layan me when i malas to layan him. get it?

mother tongue was boring sia, to be honest. yeah, they're all right. the way cikgu fatimah teaches is like not sincere at all. and congrats to her cause it was her lesson tht i fell asleep in, the very first sleeping-in-class session for 2012.

i got held back during lunch cause i owed her a compo. she made me sit outside the staff room and i was halfway done but i got so damn bored tht i just cabot a few mins before the bell rang. walked around a bit before makin my way to 5/1's temp classroom.

had self study where i read up a little abt Sets, and i understand the basics now, cant wait to do the little practices. kept scolding tim cause he was drawing away. in the end, i just let him be. even when mrs chew was like walking towards him .

aft sch, went to tamp with siying and timothy. halfway thru the bus ride i was like, i feel like gg to the airport. they teros kecoh abt wanting to go airport just cause i mentioned it. come to think of it, they seemed to have been wanting to cheer me up, cause they kept asking me why i looked so sad. so sweet.

but yeah, im fine. dunno why they kept asking me not to be sad and all tht. im fine!

got our food and then we ate, and then walked around at the shit i forgot the name of the shop. k we walked around in there and then tim made me look thru the 3D glasses.

walked to mrt, and said bye there but realized tht my ez link card ran out of cash. so ran for siying and tim, and ended up taking bus with them. took 39, and then while waiting for the bus, and on the bus, they kept challenging each other to see who can make me smile first.

the way they did all tht, i wouldnt have just smiled. i would have cried tears of joy. haix. so damn sweet awesome ppl...

heidiho. it is a beautiful thursday morning, a boring one but still beautiful nonetheless. so, what happened to me ytd you ask? i can only tell you what happened to me last night/this morning.

first things first, there was this really tall hotel in this park. it happened to be tht irshad and i got a room there, tho idk for what. and then in the morning, we went to the park, tht was so damn sweet sey. early morning walk in the park.

when we were walking back to the hotel, i started running at one point. irshad didnt run i think, or not he would have definitely caught up with me alr. but i didnt see him at all, i got into the lift at the lobby and was like pressing the close button furiously.

and yeah, i dunno why i did tht.

and z MKI came up to me and begged me to take him back. of course i said no, and he kept following me around and crying his eyes out.

hmmmm, there is no sch today. you know why? cause we all got good results. so, i am pretty bored. my throat hurts a little. hmm.

i didnt make it last night. haix. i tried, but i didnt make it. i got stuck somewhere and by the time i was out, the girls would have alr been done eons before. haix.

oh yeah, i have one more thing to say.

i set This World Cant Tear Us Apart as my alarm tone. so every morning i will have the song stuck in my head. and the line tht always play repeatedly is: "together with hope, let's salute the only things tht matter."

ive no idea what the actual lyrics are, tho. this is just what i catch. but yeah, they do mean a lot dont they? ive been writing tht in the fog on the mirror a lot these days.

this morning i really did it, in the midst of my tears, i literally saluted at my reflection. and then all the significant things in my life just flashed before me. when i put down my hand, i had this really determined look on my face. i was like woah eindah, is tht you?

and yeah. together with hope, ... let's salute the only things tht matter.

a very quick update

heidiho. so sorry tht i have not been updating me bloggie. it's been like two days? but guess what, i aint here to blog. im just here to give you a little update on my life. i guess? i shall go thru today and ytd in detail tmrw, along with tmrw, if u get what i mean. can?

anyhoos, abt my well-being. my appetite has been getting better, ive been eating more properly today. but tummy aches are consistent, sometimes til i feel nauseous. at least fever is gone, and headache aint as bad too, tho earlier on i felt like i almost blacked out.

today started off wrongly, but i ended the day with two amazing people by the names of siying and timothy. really bonded a lot. i shall really try my best to go thru the day in details tmrw.

so what are my plans for this week u ask? tmrw gg to the park to play! with irshad. and then there's no sch on thurs cause our princi wanna celebrate good results aper entah. but i still aint sure what im gonna do on tht day, maybe fetch shad?

k u know what? im in the mood to blog. so, lets do this while im still in the mood come on lets go.

in the morn, i woke up with a horrible tummy ache. i terbangon at 3 cause of the pain but fell back asleep, til my alarm rang at 530 but the pain was there. i didnt wanna go sch, but my mom came in and was like dont nonsense.

then my dad came in next, and , haix well things didnt turn out nice. so in the end i still got to go sch no matter how unwell i was. yeah yeah yeah i know its my fault for not telling them tht im sick . i know.

idc, they gave me taxi money but i just walked to sch. pushed myself, who knows, i might push myself soooo hard tht the ill side of me would just pop out of my body? yeah i had tht mindset earlier.

kay, reached sch around like 830. there wasnt much in sch anyway, just tht i got damn pissed over the slightest things. siying and timothy seemed to have noticed. aft sch, tim ajak gy makan so the three of us went to dte to carik makan.

decided to eat fish and co, tim lent me money cause i didnt have any. while eating, siying and i gossiped and then tim was just listening. aft tht we were like, shall we do our hw now? then we decided to go home first and then meet up again aft tht.

so went home aft eating, and my appetite was getting better alr. met back up at ws at 6.30, went to drop lib books first before meeting with tim at the entrance, waiting for siying. eons later she came and we made our way to the mac at sports complex.

otw there, we were like crossing the road, we crossed just when the car started moving. k tht part was funny.

i shall just summarize. at first we were studying, i was doing my maths, tho i did get frustrated as always. then halfway thru siying and tim ate, so while they did, i talked. then they listened. and we ended up talking abt cheese hotdogs and raspberry donuts.

hooboy, a lotta funny shit sia. my tummy ached like hell thru all the laughters. tho, it was a good laugh cause siying said ive been emoing too much lately. aww...

yeahh, i kinda regard tim as one of my best friends now. he's like damn awesome. hahahah. we should do tht again some day, maybe with irshad if he aint too busy/tired. if irshad there confirm more chaotic sia. hooboy, tht'll be damn awesome.

well, k then i am home. i cant wait to go play at the park tmrw.

o and maya hasnt texted me abt her results. i wished her luck but she didnt reply to tht, so i thought .. yeahhh, u get what i mean.

my shoulders hurt, tho idk why. so, i shall just stop here. o and another update: ive gotten my O level art question paper . haiz, gonna be so damn busy alr. i just hope ill still have time for my loved ones i.e. irshad and maya.

baby, let's call it quits while we're both ahead of time. we're playing with consequences, didnt you read between the lines?

last day with irshad before sch starts

heidiho, this... is... my... 1,400th post! excited? anyhoos, let's share the day with ya.

met up with z shady boy at mrt station. the spot where he was waiting on the day tht we got attached. i rode the circle line today! took from paya lebar to bras basah, cause tht's where i was supposed to go.

during the whole trip irshad kept asking me how im feeling and all tht. damn sweet. during the circle line trip, the stomach ache was starting again, along with the nausea. eons later, alighted at bras basah.

usually when gg the shop, i'd alight at city hall and walk to bras basah complex. but today, we saw tht bras basah is on the circle line so we decided to alight there instead. haha, pandai pandai je.

was randomly walking by the road, searching for the lib cause pearl said the place is opposite it. then shad was like, "do u rmb how the place looks like?" when i was staring at this building. turned out tht that was the place, so i was like "it looks like tht."

so yeah! tht was the place. went up to the 3rd floor and went into z Art Friend :3 tht shop is indeed a friend for us art students aint it siying?

o but the suckish thing was, the grey a2 file tht we all used for n levels were out of stock. cari macam nak rak but no luck. so i bought water colour instead, which was also on the list anyway. and i havent bought a new one in ages!

where did we go aft tht , aye we walked to funan to eat. or more like watch shad eat cause i still didnt have any appetite. bought a meal to share cause he didnt have any money anyway -_- but it's ok, sharing opened up my appetite a little and i managed to eat a few bites.

walked back to city hall mrt where we took da train back to pasir ris. he was still occasionally asking me how i was feeling. then went to guardian at ws cause he wanted to buy me minyak axe? medicted oil? yeahh , so sweet right?

walked to prp, and then it started drizzling. enjoyed it tho, but irshad says kissing in the rain would be nicer if the rain is much heavier xP walked with our hoods up, and o yeah irshad was wearing his own hoodie the whole time, i have finally returned it. heh .

some dudes was like saying assassin's creed , hehehehe. i was like o yeah! and yeah, irshad looks damn hot with hoods up sia.

anyhoos, i loved when we were sitting by the breakwaters shivering like mad. cause it was so damn cold! our hoodies were soaked some more, and the wind was like blowing. but damn, somehow the cold was kinda nice.

talked some more as always . then, we realized tht today is like the only day we have tgt, cause sch starts tmrw , for him, and we'll be seeing each other less and less . then we took pics :D



at 630, i didnt want to leave but irshad was like, imma take your water colour and run away if you dont go home! and he took my stuff and dashed away. tht part was damn sweeeeet, like so best friend-ly T___T

HAIZ, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH .

well, anyways, abt myself, i think im feeling a lil better? i've written down my progress in my little one buck notebook. yeahh .

tmrw's maya's o level results. please just remember tht you have done your best, and no matter what, dont be disappointed, because your result is your effort. like for example, you give birth to a child. no matter what, you still love him or her, no matter it's daughter or son, right?? hehehe.

love you firetrucks.

today, i shall push myself. i dont care tht im sick and i still have raging headaches and nausea, and tht my tummy aches are getting really painful. i shall not care abt any of tht.

so what are my plans for today? first, imma go for a walk. and then, im off to bras basah to buy my art stuffs from z art shoppe there. and then make my way to pasir ris, if there's still time, i'll go for another walk, maybe stop by z workplace.

then imma meet irshad at prp, walk there on my own. if i still have no appetite, then so be it. yeahh, tht'd be my plan for today .

anyhoos, i feel a lot better every morning when i wake up. but the pain always comes eventually, starting from the afternoon. and then, at night it's always the worst. haizz. idk what is the problem. but no, im still not gg to the doc's.

last nite, irshad was like: "i'm your boyfriend, i have to care abt your well being."
i find it touching tht he said tht. it's like the very first time he ever labelled himself as my boyfriend.

shall keep you updated.

a very stubborn patient.

this song is with me.

so. looks like i had the strength to get up, and i'm even on the comp right now. what happened to me ytd, you ask? come, let's go thru friday tgt first.

woke up in the morning to a very horrible stomach ache. i didnt want to move at all, or not the pain would get to me. stayed in bed til 645, when my dad came in and was like, "eindah, wake up, you're late..." so i told him abt the pain and he was like k, better not go sch.

fell back asleep til like 9 plus i think? irshad texted me, asking how i feel, cause he knew i was damn unwell the day before. told him i didnt go sch at all , he was like why so i explained the shit i felt in the morning.

i kept gg to the toilet to puke, but nth much came out. didnt really see the colour of what came out, cause i puked into the toilet bowl . but could taste the vomit in my mouth.

the night before, i dreamt tht i played the swings. so asked irshad if he could accompany me go play. surprisingly he even allowed me to, with me being nauseous and all. see, he's so damn awesome la.

but he told me to go doctor before playing swings. BUT, unfortunately the clinic was closed. soooo didnt go clinic at all.

when he was texting tht he's like otw to my place, i suddenly got damn pissed as to why he must fetch me all the time. i suddenly had this mindset of "does he think i cant walk to the swings place by myself tht he has to fetch me?"

but in the end i did allow him to fetch me. walked to prp , otw there he was like asking me why i so quiet. at tht point i got pretty irritated too, cause usually he's the one doing most of the talking whenever we're walking.

reached the swings place, it was empty apart from a few sch girls who were hogging the swings, so we sat and waited. eons later two of the swings were empty so we went, and i got super excited.

irshad kept laughing to himself on the swing , i liked tht so much. and i went higher than him! but halfway got a little nauseous. yes i played the swings when i'm sick. and then he got up and pushed me , tht was damn fun.

went to remove our shoes and played by the beach. as always, i drew in the sand with my feet, wrote E + I, and then i went to draw one side of a heart around it, hehe. then irshad drew the other side, awwww .

sad tht i didnt bring cammie! so i only used my phone to take pic.


then we went to just look at the sea aft tht, next to the heart. our shoes were also tossed next to it, so we must have looked tumblrish from afar, in my humble opinion. and i super loved it when he hugged me from behind .

sat down and talked awhile, liked it when he had his palm against my tummy. so we just sat there, with the wind blowing our hair around, under the heat of the sun, his arm around me. if only time could be stopped.

eons later went to the toilet. walked on the soft sand, i was walking in front irshad and he was behind me laughing to himself, hahahaha . cause of the sand i think. so went toilet to wash the sand off our feet and put on our shoes.

then , went to sit on breakwaters. when we were walking i kept feeling like wanna vomit, you know tht little feeling of something wanting to come out your mouth but last min retreat back into ur throat? yeah, tht suckish feeling.

lied down, and it seemed to stop tht little feeling. so i lied down most of the time, on z shady boy's lap. and i did sleep at some points too. it kinda helped. the tummy pain wasnt there when i was lying down.

irshad said we gotta go at 6. at 6:05 i was like, uh huh, 5 more mins....... and then i fell back asleep. i think he had a real difficult time wakin me up?

but eventually i did wake up on my own accord, but i was still lazy to get up, and he had to force me up. made our way out, and most of the time irshad was talking, but im so sorry. i wasnt really listening most of the time sia, my perut was hurting again.

this time i told him it's ok, he didnt have to send me up, so he didnt. and when i was back in my room, teros tidor.

didnt have any dreams, scarily. woke up around 9 i think. woke up to have tht pain tht i had when i was walking/standing/sitting. i was like, nono shit, dont tell me it wanna attack when im lying down too, when lyin down is like my only source of comfort. get it ? yeah, was so pissed.

and then i started crying. yeah, i cried a lot last night. tht's the thing la, when im very very sick, i tend to cry a lot. come on la, i aint the only one who's like tht right? to make it worse, i missed irshad so much, cause earlier on he was there when i woke up back at prp. but back in my room, he wasnt .

i seriously cried a lot sia T.T

called my younger bro , asked him for thermometer, my temp was 37.8. and then everything which was supposed to be white, was green. so i was like k confirm im havin fever as well .

irshad was texting me, but his replies were late. and then benna helped me search for replacement for my shift today, and she told me to take care. awww.

i couldnt find any comfy position to lie down in sia, which made me really cry all the more. and i was SUPER BORED , and yet i couldnt sleep, only slept this morning from like 7 i think? to 9.

irshad's like super worried. dunno, he says im never this stubborn when im sick . cause i die die didnt want go doctor, or eat smth, when he kept telling me to. and he said im like super cranky. haiz. all i can say is, thank you for worrying abt me .

trip to poly with 5/1

heeeeiiiiidiho. pretty tired right now, thought of blogging abt today tmrw, but i had some matters to settle on the comp, so i thought i may as well blog tonight.

think i shall just summarize. the main event for today was the trip to ngee ann poly with z classmates. we were all firetrucking excited when we assembled at the tower. i even managed to escape from mrs sheri, cause she was checking our attire and all tht.

we got the old bus, the one where the back of the seats are like low, you know? at some bend on the way , everyone was like chilling when suddenly there was this really weird vibration on the floor of the bus!

it freaked all of us out, i was sitting near the back with syazana, she stared at me and was like cb what the f was tht!? and the whole group at the back was like woah as well, damn cute!

jia yao was saying, right aft tht, "sekali halfway on the expressway we get stuck, like tht damn suay sia." well guess what happened -.-

yeahh, the bus stopped in the middle of the highway at one point. and, the aircon died. we were all burning, tho i liked the heat to be honest. faiz zainal was feeling so tortured sia!

when the bus started again, the aircon wasnt back, so the driver opened the doors to let the wind in. then the aircon started again, so he closed the doors again. THEN, the aircon stopped, so we all moaned and the doors were opened again.

it went on like tht til we got to the gates of ngee ann poly. everyone was like dying sia, even i was starting to feel nauseous. there was this little turning in my stomach tht made me wanna puke, yet i couldnt. when many many eons later mr rodin ong told us to go down, they all sprung up from their seats and were like, YES!!!

hmmm, aft tht what? yeah, we all went to walk around on our own aft some dude told us to gather back there at 515. first, went to sch of health sciences if i aint wrong, to take free food :3 o and we all got a free ngee ann poly tee! sweet isnt it ?

went to sch of film and media studies :3 but, sadly we couldnt go in, i also dunno why... needed a tour guide of some sort of smth like tht. so, went to sch of business and accountancy . btw i was with siying, shushan, sabrina, farizah and asleah, cause priscilla and pearl disappeared.

next, walked to sch of humanities and social sciences. splitz again at this point, went to the arts business management thingy with siying and farizah, where we bumped into this beautiful collage of a really pretty woman. if i was a man, i would have fallen in love with tht piece of canvas. i think .

reunited with sabrina, shushan and asleah, went up to the 6th floor, waited eons for the lift. sab's turn to see course tht she likes pulak, so we all waited. see, we damn sweet, we take turns gg the schs tht each and every one is interested in.

when she was done, i was like, please go somewhere right now to eat. and yay, they all agreed, so we made our way to the makan place. but, at this point of time, i started getting really nauseous.

shared ice kachang with shushan, she asked me to crush the oreo so i did, and she sprinkled the oreo bits onto the ice kachang. somehow, tht was kinda nice sia!

aft tht asleah, farizah, sabrina and siying bought pizza. for themselves, but they totally didnt have to keep rubbing the fact in mine and shushan's faces, esp asleah and siying. i got pretty pissed at one point, for just a minute.

we were supposed to assemble back at 515 , but by 520 they were still eating their pizza and were like ah, hot hot hot and i got a little irritated for a sec. and earlier on priscilla and pearl were stolen by wanxuan, so i was alr a little pissed.

anyhoos . when we were walkin back to the assembly place, everyone was like waiting for us, 5/1 and 5/2. us = asleah, farizah, pearl, sabrina, shushan, siying, timothy, rayner, yao wei, me. mrs chew was like, "are you guys okay???"

when i was like, "oh, we were eating." she was like -_________- how considerate. yeah, she really said tht.

and then we waited some time for the buses to come. 5/2's came first. 5/1's came only at like 710? we were like the last sch to be there sia, the other sec schs were like alr gone many eons before, cause the open house ended at 6.

well, at least we all managed to talk and ask more questions abt the courses, cause some of the poly students teman-ed us til our bus came. all so shweet sey. and i managed to ask questions as well, im considering mass comm and film video audio :3

k then many eons later our bus came. was waving goodbye to the poly students, when someone fell down............ i thought it was one of jia yao's gang, but it turned out to be shushan! omg, yeah i laughed like shit sia.

her foot slipped thru a gap and her whole leg went into the drain sia. luckily for her not many of our classmates saw it. but the whole of jy's gang saw, and the group of poly students. me, zharfan and faiz zainal were laughing away before gg all "shushan ok anot??"

on the bus , it was a really long journey. so i fell asleep, whats more the first few ppl sitting at the front had the two seats on their own, cause aft all our class only has like 32 ppl, so it wasnt tht crowded on the bus.

i was in a sorta-like comfy position, i was damn tired, nauseous and irritated . kept feeling like wanna puke but i didnt think much of it and eventually the feeling ceased. and i fell asleep. til shady texted, so i spent the rest of the journey texting him .

when we reached, mrs sherri was there to greet us. she apologised to us abt the delay, cause someone mixed up ngee ann and nanyang. well, then we all made our way out the gates.

was sitting at the bus stop with timothy and jonathan, when along came hafiz and nicholas. i was like O: hafiiiz ! and he was like, eindah!! i miss you sia!! and he gave me a hug, awww. talked abt our lives, havent seen him for awhile alr.

so, he's currently not in any form of education level... meaning to say, he aint schoolin. yeah ... sigh, he just had to have tht little weird opinion abt education and stuff. (tho it makes sense) then they all left soon aft.

took bus with timothy cause jon had his parents pick him up. lol i loved the convo we had abt uss. we were thinking of gg there with our matairs someday .

me: very difficult, irshad is ite. then we all have sch .
tim: weekend ?
me: very crowded. unless go real early. irshad say be there by 10 .
tim: 10? he siao ah, uss open at 11.
me: HUH!? he said be there by 10 !
tim: nooo?? it opens at 10 and closes at 6.
me: no la, it closes at 9. the other time i went, they closed at 9 .
tim: i went there 3 times, i got chased out at 6, 3 times.

hahahhaha, i laughed like shit.

reached home near to 9 , and now im like settling some important issue with z shady boy.

second day of sch !!!1

heidiho my dear firetrucks. shall we go thru my second day of sch?

second day of sch and we alr had to sing national anthem for the second time without tune. o and during flag raising i yawned, saw syazana staring at me. few secs later, she yawned and i was like laughing xD

first we had p.e., which was just the normal procedures thingy, mr rodin ong was like introducing the other teachas in da room. when he was done, jia yao was like, "then where is mr rodin ong??" his tone was funny!

and, when mr ong was telling us not to touch the stuff in the p.e. office, he was like, "you dont see the ball, take the ball and then bounce bounce bounce." jia yao's gang laughed like shit sia!! then he and rayner kept repeating tht line at the same time, irritating you know!! but funny also la.

o yeah, p.e. was in ava room with 4 other classes if i aint wrong. 2 sec 2 classes, 1 sec 3 and 1 sec 4. yeahh, all of us cramped there. 5/1 , 5/1 5/1. hehehehehehehe.

mr ong was like showing us youtube videos, he searched "PRCS pe" and the search results came on, and guess what, one of the results was a video of mine, heheheh! the 4/2's last day (30th sep 2011) :3

during ss/geog, i kept giggling at the slightest things. i laughed like shit when shushan tripped on her bag sia, omg.

aft recess was art, then it was chemistry, mrs mimi ang is not bad sia . then we had two periods of maths, it wasnt tht bad too, i like the top secret letter thingy!! xD

and then, we were dismissed ! at 2:05 ! stayed back in the canteen for awhile, then when i got home, immediately started studying right aft i showered. with my bro at first, but he was damn distracting so i went to my room . and i took some pics during a little break in between.





by the time it was like almost 8, i was sprawled all over my bed, spread out like a cat, it always feels soooo damn good to stretch all over my lovely double bed :3 esp aft a long day of studying! hehehe!

so currrently lying down with my head on sabrina's octopus, windows open right in my face. legs across my bed, comp on my tummy. shooooo comfy . there's one thing missing on this bed tho. yeah... a cat. metaphorically.

:)
-----------------------
miss chua showed us this in art just now. it looks cool .



and guess what, i know what course to go to in poly alr. hehehe! better work hard then ! ive set my targets for my Os alr. i'm gonna work really really really hard to meet them all! (x

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL !!!!!1

heidiho! i shall blog abt my first day of my last year in sch.

last night, i went to bed early but i got hungry, so i got up to cook maggi. my mom was surprisingly awake as well, and she told me to cook some for her as well, so i did. she told me to teman her iron clothes, which was such a surprise cause usually one of my bros would be the one doing tht.

we ended up talking a lot, like seriously a lot. she told me all the stories of the in-laws, my dad's siblings and all tht. damn interesting stories sia!

at abt 1 am plus, my older bro came home. mom and i were talking abt my education aft o levels at tht point,and he was walking around the kitchen when he suddenly said, "poly is better." and then he explained his opinions.

aft he was done talking, he just went back to his room, sulking. and im like, WOAH!! not just woah, or WOAH , but WOAH!! i stared at my mom, who was like, "uh huh. dengar tu, abang dah cakap macam gitu kat kau." i was like O:

then my mom told me stuff abt my bro and his gf. they were both actually impressed abt my n level points. and then she asked me again if i wanna go out with his gf. her name is esha if i aint wrong?

yeah, so the truth is, esha has been wanting to go out with me since like forever. ive been ignoring la, cause you all know how much i hate her. weell.... just thought, i think id give it a try actually. but! shady must come along. so it must be another double thingy.

texted siying in bed for awhile aft tht, before attempting to sleep again. i was successful, waking up to my alarm at 5.30. was so damn hyped up for first day of sch !!!

was supposed to meet siying but she missed her bus so i went to miss pris first. on the way to the canteen, i stared at the mirror by the bookshop and was like i shall clip up my hair. and then i just stood there tossing my clip into the air, catching it, and again and again.

in the end i didnt clip up.

united with priscilla!!! then went to parade sq where all the 5na kids were chaotic abt where to sit. found our place, and then in the midst of the chaos i went to the toilette and guess what!? i clipped up my fringe. on my own accord :3

and i didnt take it down til recess, which was at 10.20. had art aft tht, texted shad while drawing up my titles. aft tht, went to classroom to slack a little before having lunch, and then makin our way to da hall for assembly soon aft.

was boring, boring, boring, as always. o but at the end of it all, mrs woo was like walking near 5/1. i happened to look up at her, and she was like lookin at my hair, and then she smiled and nodded. hahahahahahahhaha.

aft tht, somebody from our class yelled out, "5/2, stand!" error sia, cause we're 5/1 ! funny sia, it was either wei liat or yao wei.

o speaking of yao wei, his perangai like shit sia. fucking o levels sia, still want to distract the class, like what the fuck? and sec 5 alr still wanna show dog attitude to a home tutor, a new one in this sch some more, what the fuck sia yao wei. perangai seriously, yeah jubo babi. to be honest.

but physics was good la, everyone was paying attention. our teacha is mr collins. he teaches quite the fast tho . for slow ppl like me, it was quite difficult to catch up. most of our teachas changed, cept for da languages and elective, which were mr syafie/ms adimah, cikgu fatimah and miss christina.

o yeah, during art. when miss chua saw siying, she was like, "eh why you copy my hair!?" her tone was funny like firetruck sia, i laughed like shit.

o and during physics! mr collins kept saying our class name whenevr he wanted our attention. siying, who sits next to me, and i, we both still cant believe the fact tht we are sec 5s. kept getting high whenever "5/1, listen to me 5/1." was said, right siying!? heheh!

5/1. wow, i'm a sec 5 . an o level student sia.

aft sch, took bus with sabrina, siying and timothy. they alighted at dte, and i went home straight. then blah3, aft tht, imma write in my diary abt the time aft tht, bcos i hafta shut down comp now *wink wink*

thank you for wanting to read abt my crappy first day of sch. love you firetrucks :*

shopping with dad and bruh!

heidiho my firetrucks! hmmm. we shall make this a really quick post, wouldnt wanna drag cause ive sch tmrw. yes, the new sch year starts in uhm a few hours.

so well anyways. today, i went to tamp with my father and naz. first went to zinc cause ive been pestering my dad to get me a bag with my bursary money. while i was browsing, the dude who works there kept following me, annoying sia.

well but he was a great help. i got a brand new bag from zinc, like finally! now yueting's bag can take a rest .

went to converse aft tht, cause my dad insisted on buying me new sch shoes. i didnt want to since my current pair are still good. and the price of the shoes at converse makes me all the more not wanting to get new shoes sia!

made our way to bata where there were converse shoes as well, cheaper. so we got tht, my size is a little shaky tho. whats more with one foot being a little bigger than the other, so troublesome you know.

aft tht we went to the area behind the mrt station cause we wanted to go giant. we didnt know if there was the bus service of not, cause my dad so blurblock. decided to take 27, but there wasnt any at tamp inter, so we took 81 with the intention of changing to 58 halfway.

just as the bus left inter, we saw a bus stop tht had 27 -_- so we alighted at the next stop, thinking there was 27 there. turned out there wasnt, and we walked back all da way to the previous bus stop, so irritating sia hahah!

and guess what, when we were on the 27, we saw the shuttle bus coming out of tamp -_________________________-

well anyhoos, went giant to get spoons. first got socks for me, cause i always get my socks from there. this time i got white for sch, orange for EK and pink to match with my shoes (x then spent some eons getting baju basahan (idk how spell) for my bruh.

didnt buy any food items tho , o well. went to courts aft tht, to get myself a fan, since the one in my room spoilt. while dad was paying, went off to see cameras. i soo want a dslr tht can record!!! mommy says she's getting me one, but where on earth is it, i dunno.

took shuttle bus back home, and guess what? we went to giant to get spoons, tht was the main intention. but we forgot to get those! only realised when we were home alr. sooo silly.

and yeah.. i am home now. i needa sleep early tonight, by 10. cause imma be waking up at 530 tmrw =_________= wont be able to text shady in da morn cause he's probably sleeping when im otw to sch. o well.

so, should i walk to sch tmrw? it's been a while since i did tht. well, see my laziness la. and, imma clip up my hair ....................... i guess.

so. this year, i am an O level student. i better buck up and stop doing the shit i did last year, like sleeping in class and runnin away from maths periods. and not to forget getting suspended from class just cause of my hair. yeah, better stop all tht.

tmrw is school ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
o eindah, you are a O level student eindah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and you too ah, siying. you better buck up too. o yeah hopefully you'll be seated near me again sia. and guess what? since there's like lesser ppl in class this year, the rows wont be so crampy anymore, unlike last year's.

i hope yao wei and jia yao wont be distractions anymore, i saw their names on the class list. and hopefully we'll do a great job for cheering comp again. i'd like to do another encore , heheheh.

i dont know of any classes from the sec 4s tht are as bonded as us when we were 4/2, to be honest. even if bonded, they're not so enthu. hm, just saying.

k, k. goodbye my firetrucks, love you all (x or more like love you three since i know only siying, irshad and maya read my bloggie.

quoted from my tumblr :

im not going to say goodbye to 2011. it stays with me, so, i dont have to wish it away. it stays with me in the form of a memory, and a lesson. everything tht’s happened in the past year , happened for their own reasons. even the bad memories led to beautiful moments eventually. 2011 was the year i truly knew the meaning of “good things come to those who wait”, and, really: patience truly is a virtue. it’s one of the most important lessons i’ve learnt in the year.

and now, i shall start the new year. happy new year everyone.

i really needa pee right now.