You were on fire

Was told a story by an old friend today, but I am a terrible person who triggered the emotions he'd been trying to forget, so I decided not to write about it anymore. I'd just spent the last half an hour flipping through my diary from 2015 again; because you know, self-torture.

All my entries stood out, shocking myself right now at the thought that my almost-20-year-old self had written all these.

An entry from the 6th of October, 2015. Word for word, except names are exchanged for initials.

Hm, I am getting back on track with this writing thing. I don't have anything deep or emotional to let out, unless you count the dream I just had about a week ago...

The entire dream was insane just the way it is. There were ghosts, a woman who would breathe on everyone's necks but not reveal herself. Most of all, there were the love of my life and his best friend.
...There is always the two of them. 

Exit A and I from the motorbike that we'd obtained from the previous scene, a warehouse with the invisible woman. Enter us into an MRT station that somewhat has a resemblance to Pasir Ris. I spot L, looking so much taller than I remember. I call out, and he smiles when he sees me but A is emotionless. 

I don't think A was as invested in our conversation as L and I were... I so believe at this point of time my dreamself has forgotten her other half.

The MRT station is fairly crowded, like it would be during peak hours. Though I have the slight feeling it wasn't due to people returning home from work and all... I believe it was a sort of apocalypse. You are lucky if you are caught in a life-or-death situation with the love of your life. 

Or are you?

The minute all 3 of us have gotten to the platform level, this huge, muscular guy comes into view, looking really threatening. He opens his mouth and his voice thunders, "Everyone has 6 minutes to get out of this station before I blow this place up."

And there is mass panic. There is a wall of death as people run all over the place, squashing others in the midst. Plenty of people are pushed down... stepped on... squashed like a bug... organs and bones going everywhere. 

Seeing things like these aren't new to me. But I still get traumatised every dawn when I awake.

More importantly, where is the love of my life? L is right there, he is holding my hand but where is A???

Here comes the plothole: while I am leaning down from the tracks, a soft wind pushes me over. I do not feel scared even though there are bodies on the ground below me, the many who'd tried to jump. I remember feeling myself floating down to the ground, landing on my feet amidst those who landed on the last seconds of their lives. 

And then L falls on me, and I am able to catch him.
But... where is A???

I look back up to the platform level, and there I finally see the love of my life. He is emotionless, and I want to cry out for him but I don't find my voice. I look at him helplessly, and then the huge, muscular guy comes into view again, blocking my other half from my line of sight.

He says, voice booming again, "6 minutes is up." and smiles a big yellow menacing smile.

And he guns away at everyone who is left on the MRT platform.
The bullets in his gun explode upon piercing someone's skin, and the victim is set on fire.

I watch him aim his gun, I hear the bullet hitting someone and exploding, I watch the love of my life burn. And I am doing nothing but screaming while his best friend has his arms around me. 

L and I made it out but you didn't. You were on fire.

That last line, on a sticky note next to my wall, from the time I regularly wrote down the first thing that came to my mind every morning. L and I made it out but you didn't. You were on fire.