Close the windows

The window at my feet.

The window at my feet. 

Cold cement below the surface of my thin mattress.

A warm bed with pillows all around.

A few books at my feet, arranged neatly in boxes.

Dozens of books at the front of the room, arranged neatly on all five shelves. 

A text from the wind.

A text from a ghost. 

The sound of jingling bells.

The sound of someone gaming. 

I pick up my cat and cradle her in my arms.

I pull my brother's hair and make some joke about him. 

I stay in bed, stare at the ceiling and think about the bad dreams I had.

I get up, stare out the window and think about what I should do that evening.

The house is cramped, filled from the floor to the ceiling with unnecessary things.

The house is spacious, an executive flat, kept spick and span. 

I don't have to worry about breakfast because my grandmother always makes me something without fail.

Mom's at work, I have to get my own breakfast as well as my brother's.

I am pressured to do my best, especially in my studies.

I am left to tend to my own life. I'm not sure if my parents know how much difficulty I'm having in my studies. 

I am not alone but I am angry.

I am strong but I am lonely.

I have what I need but not what I want.

I have what I want but not what I need. 

Too much mess that I try to deal with.

Too much mess that I have to simply sweep under the carpets. 

The wind blows through my hair, comforting me when it gets too hot.

The wind forces its way in and messes everything up, forcing me to fly with it. 

The wind is a gentle breeze that I need.

The wind is a tornado ripping through my life, destroying everything.

I close the windows so the wind doesn't leave.

I close the windows so the wind doesn't come in ever again.

I am happy being here with my new family. I never want to return to Pasir Ris.

I miss my old family. I want to return to Paya Lebar.

I am home. This will be my home forever.

I am home. But I want to go back to my real home.

Home is where you choose to be,

not where you came from. 

Where you were saved,

not where you were born.