Damned haze!

#np radioactive - imagine dragons 

i'm waking up, to ash and dust

i wipe my brow and i sweat my rust

i'm breathing in 

the chemicals

*chokes* 

looking at the haze around me made me scared, yet at the same time excited. both emotions were of the same reason: because it all seemed so different. 

i felt like i was out of a movie, or a music video. i could picture myself in the scenery of the smoke, the stillness of my hometown, and the emotions on my face. 

i was already tired in the morning, and by the time i got to work, i was dead beat. my working hours had barely started when i already wanted to go home. 

instead, i sat down and went through Twitter, and everyone was still talking about the haze. the usual; why wouldnt school holidays extend, PSI levels, and the newest one: animals dying.

cats were dying because their lungs couldnt stand the air, or something that should sound more scientific than that. it was also mentioned that even household cats were at risk if the PSI level went a little too high for the felines to handle. 

i scrolled some more and then i saw it: the PSI had hit 400. shushan too texted me that the haze was fucking terrible. at the same time, my fever and migraine reminded my body of their existence, and i started burning up.

at that very second i swear, i swear all i wanted to do was run home and hold my cats in my arms and cry and bawl like a baby. the haze was scaring me so badly.

good thing there were no customers. and then who came but none other than Shushan. the minute i saw her, i smiled but my lips were trembling and i started crying before her. 

"eh dont cry eh!" she exclaimed. "you cry because you see cat die ah???" i had to smile when she said that \o/

and then she told me what lady boss had said to her on the day she covered me for when i was sick. she had told Shushan "this girl ah, say only that she can work everyday. then now want to take off. wahlau eh." 

and i was like, what the fuck. do i freaking control when i get sick? 

i wanted to quit on the spot.

along came a customer, though, who bought a cake for 3 bucks but didnt have small change. she gave me a fifty note, and when i asked if she had smaller change, she didnt. 

it wasnt my fault that the cash register didnt have enough ten dollar bucks to give to her as change. business wasnt that good because of the haze. 

so i was taking out the wads of two dollar bills from the cash register when she snapped, "oh please i'm not gonna take all that." [and i was like oh please, what a snob.]

[additional info: i didnt like her face at the first glance. you couldnt imagine how much of a snob she really looked. if you took hidung tinggi literally, yeah that's her.] 

so i said "well this is all there is." and just like that she placed the cake back on the counter and said, "well okay then i'm not buying anymore." 

i answered her a big fat OKAY and attempted to place the cake back to where it was, as i watched her staring at me, from the corner of my eye. she snapped, "eh girl you need to smile ok." 

and i tell you, this tone of hers was not a pleasant one. she was practically demanding me, in the same tone you would tell a pervert to stop touching your butt. 

i just stared at her. no, with no smile on my face. she looked extremely displeased and she walked away saying one last sentence, "eh this is not the way to treat a customer!" 

i would have given her a free cupcake as her trophy for being the most annoying customer ever. 

but i swear, if it wasnt for the haze getting to me, i would have responded in a much more polite manner. too bad for her. she was a snob anyway.

trut trut, FINALLY i was dismissed from work and i walked out of the human area, into the haze. i felt much better in the latter, like it was a lot more healthier than being around people. because it really felt so. 

i sat on bus 17, peacefully texting on my phone when the woman who was sitting next to me pointed at my screen and said something in chinese. "sorry?" i had said as a prompt for her to repeat in English.  but she repeated in chinese, again. 

so i said, "wo shi ma lai ren wo bu ker yi jiang hua yi." and she immediately got pissed at me. and i mean pissed as in pissed. she snapped, "may i know what is the time now?" in the same tone you would ask someone to repeat for the tenth time what you didnt hear. 

when everything was quiet between me and this stranger again,... guess what? she started humming. and her hums grew louder and louder til it evolved into a song which went on until i could hear it through my earpiece. 

all i could do was look out the window and beg from the bottom of my soul that she would stop. 

when i finally alighted at my hometown, the view scared me yet again. the haze was thick and it immediately took effect on my eyes. 

i caught sight of the one-eyed cat at the carpark and gave her some food [always carried a container of cat food in my backpack]. i was only in deep remorse that i didnt have a damp cloth to moisten her nose with.

i waited til 2 in the morning for 'Aamir to reach home from work, and about ten minutes after he announced he was home, he said he was upset, and he immediately went to sleep with a mere "goodnight."

what a horrible day it was yesterday! all i could think of was #mustbethehaze.

'Aamir and i made up this morning, over Whatsapp, and we were making plans to meet because i ended work at 4 while he was starting at 6. he was gonna fetch me from Pasir Ris!

i didnt want to blog about this actually; about how horrible the haze and its impacts were yesterday. i wanted to talk to my boyfriend instead. but here i am, just finished with my story. 

because the best part of this post, is that i was supposed to meet 'Aamir today and i was planning on telling him everything about yesterday. 

but we didnt meet because his work was cancelled due to the haze.