A dozen purple hyacinths, to and fro.

you pulled me to you, buried your face in my hair and you said; "i fucking love you."

you held me til my ribs were about to break, til i wasn't sure if you were ever gonna let me go. even when you released me from your arms, you held my hand every moment you could.

that was just yesterday.

what got into you? you were fine this morning. all you did was go out to have breakfast with your family and you even went to the park. you came home, and started venting it on me.

i dont understand your transitions. sometimes you get angry at me simply because of something from the past. it's not fair, don't you think?

you've made your mistakes too. like the 13th of April this year. i met my mama after four months of not seeing each other but she made me upset and literally left me at the side of the road. a hearty reunion! i texted you, but you ignored me. your last seens showed how you were ignoring me.

and when you did talk to me, what did you say? you said i was exaggerating, and that you didnt believe me.

i couldnt help it, i did what i did in the past. you abandoned me for a moment there, and all i could do was remember the promise i made you of across in abandonment, down in death.

i really needed you. but you werent there. you didnt want to be there.

had my first day of tertiary education two days later, and i had to cover what i did. they were a constant reminder of you not being there. even when i was afraid of my new classmates seeing them and not accepting me for it. do you know how afraid i was...?

still, i forgave you each time i looked at them.

a dozen purple hyacinths, to and fro; just that i am forcing them out of you while i willingly give a thousand to you.