dirty words and anger.

i fucking dreamt of the douchebag again, and this time he'd given me a notebook where he wrote his feelings in. on the cover is a graffiti art of my name which he had drawn.

he doesnt know all that he's causing me. this is not normal anymore, haikal dood keeps saying things like"everyone eventually thinks of their ex, it's okay, you'll get over it" and blah blah bloody blah like he really understands the situation i am in. and then he's like, oh, "i really want to help you but i really don't know how."

i hate everyone. i really hate everyone. as long as you're in my sight there's bound to be something about you that irritates me. all of you.

even when i am on solitary escapades, the freaking people in front of me walk damn bloody slow, especially those certain families walking like they own all the space in the world. jalan sudahlah lembap, jalan tengah-tengah dunia pula tu.

and yet those who are rushing, just have to hit onto my freaking right shoulder of all places. and when i am about to tap my freaking ez link card on the bus, the moron behind me always had to tap his when i'm the one who's next to the card reader. bloody hell, tak tahu sabar keper?

you know what irritates me the most? couples on escalators. minahs who ogle their eyes at me and talk in malay about my dressing, thinking i am a chinese. people who don't silence their phones in libraries.

bloody hell, only Bedok Town Centre doesn't consist of all these irritants. and not many people from pasir ris, so i won't bump into anyone i know, cause it'll just irritate me more.

i shall go explore a different neighbourhood today.

know why God made The Boy to be a douchebag? because he's the younger twin. God's only giving him reason to be hated and be murdered, because the younger one always dies. there hadn't been any need for The Boy to be made. at all. 'Irfan noorhalim was enough.

how ironic. The Boy had been the one to have saved me when i was about to kill myself back on the 2nd of November. but now, he's the one driving me into insanity. be it i die or he gets killed, it's still irony. isn't it funny? laugh!