Someone from my childhood.

back when MTV had cool music with just as cool music videos; i would be watching my cartoons but you'd come along and change channels.

i'd throw a tantrum at first, but you ignored me til i eventually watched what you were watching. i liked the hits from then, and this particular one stood out every time its music video played.

i asked you why you never rode on your skateboard like that. i told you she was what i would call a 'tomboy', a word you taught me. we laughed at how her hand stuck out when she was singing, and how funny her face looked at the end of the music video.

those were the days. i never understood the song, but i started watching MTV more with you, waiting for that music video to come on. when it wasn't on television, i would sing with wrong lyrics and you would laugh, frustrating me.

just recently i started listening to the song again, and not only do i understand its lyrics now, but i realise that it actually resembles you.

#np Complicated - Avril Lavigne 

i'm not sure when or why you changed. perhaps your society in secondary school got to you, or maybe it was your girlfriend. or maybe it was Mommy's pampering, or the way Daddy seemed to get angry at you all the time.

you never teased me anymore. you hit me and made me cry more often than laugh. we used to laugh about the silliest things but you stopped talking to me completely.

you did become somebody else around everyone else. the elder brother i knew from my childhood was gone; not only in the sense that he went away, but he completely became someone i didn't recognise.

nobody else saw how you and i were in my childhood. and that saddens me. but what saddens me more, is that you and i will never be that way ever again.

some people feel touched when someone who used to be special writes a letter to them. i wrote you many before, slipped under your door on your birthdays. and here i am, about half a year since we've last stayed under the same roof, writing you a blog post.

you are not the type of person who would give a shit about your sister. you are not the type to visit your aunt's house and give your sister any regards.

you had contributed to my childhood but i grew up watching you turn into an asshole. the best part? you were only an asshole in my eyes, because you pretend to be the best to everyone else.