Back in 2012.

my eyes tear in memory of my hardships.

when i was all alone among the groups of friends, in school, and i felt like i was being judged for every single move i made. if i had been with my seven girl best friends, still, i would have been sheltered at least.

sheltered from the eyes of society, and those people were also sheltered by my concern; i never bothered to give a shit about them.

but when i was alone, i was exposed, and buried by every pair of eyes that laid on me.

that was how i felt in my last year of secondary school. that was my 2012. i was alone, and everyone was watching. the more i hid myself the more i attracted attention.

i felt that way. i realised that best friends are so important for your days in school. they're more important than you think.

they eat with you so you dont starve yourself. they keep you company so you look forward to school. they make you laugh so you dont find yourself crying in class thinking of your problems.

maybe you wouldnt even have any problems at all.

i learnt that in 2012. but i'm here again, in that same state, helpless, hopeless, soundless.