announcement

hey guys, i just Created a tumblr, due to my boredom. i'll be using my tumblr for all the Wrister the Philosopher? stuff, so be sure to drop by there if u wanna , uhm, improve ur views on life. what will my ughyouulan be used for? uhm, imma use it to write my daily stuff i guess. let's re-enact 2008!

from tmrw onwards, i'll be writing in the stuff tht happened to me on tht day. i'll be posting pictures, feelings, and all tht reminiscence stuff. hope u enjoy! maybe i shall start today. yeah, ok. ok bye for this post xD

Burn the Night Away (There For Tomorrow)

yeah, so u heard tht i'd be writing abt this song.
this is just Something like an analysis of the song , where i share all the meanings tht i think the song is tryna give. but this one is for tht someone tht i am with :D so.. yeah.

It's 3 in the morning
yeah, cos i stead-ed with tht someone at around 3 am. (:

and I'm still not sleeping
Cause I'm finally running your race
The mountains you've been climbing seem like they have steepened
Since I decided to pick up the pace
it probably means, something tht u've been waiting for so long has finally happened. things seem to be getting more difficult because now u are rushing, cos u so excited.

If the whole world told me I should disappear
Could I fall right next to you?
cos there was one time when u were telling me tht everyone was leaving you and tht i was the only person u had left, and tht i was ur last best friend left. so u needed me.

Just let me burn the night away
Oh, baby let me burn the night away
By thinking of the simple things you say to me
That get me through the day
yeah, cos u were starting to like me. so whatever little convo we had kept u happy. cos it reminded u tht there's still someone who's there for u. right? tht's why u could still, uh, be happy. i guess O.O idk how to say in words.

You keep me wide awake
ur status said tht i was the first person to ever kept u awake (:

So don't look back, the hourglass is runnin' empty
You've got me buried with your every move
Your fine lines have me at a loss of memory
I'm right beside you in an empty room
this whole verse, idk. as in, idk what link it has with you. oh, maybe cos u find the way i look very interesting. i think tht's what u said before. and u once said tht i got 'wow body' xD

And it's so hard to catch your feelings
When you always run away
yeah, u once told me tht u find it difficult to understand me, cos u thought tht i wasnt allowing you to.

Oh, the whole world told me I should disappear
'Cause I'm falling in love with you
u once said tht i am a very awesome person and tht many guys will feel like they aint good enough for me. maybe tht's why u didnt dare tell me tht u liked me. cos u were afraid of being discriminated by other ppl.

yeah, tht's all.
sorry if i've gotten anything wrong though.

Tht weird school.

ok, since i rmb alot of last night's dream, i thought i might share it with u guys.
(uhm, 'u guys' ? like, nobody reads my blog ever -.-)

as always, i dont rmb the position. i dont rmb how it went accordingly, but i do rmb the stuff tht happens. ok, i rmb being in a comp lab of sorts, with two of my friends, shushan and siying, if i aint wrong. hm, we were discussing some sort of thing with the teacha there, whom i cant rmb alr.

there was a bunch of us over there, from various classes and levels. douchebag was right next to me, maybe cos 4/1 comes before 4/2. ok, then i rmb talking to shushan, who was in fronta me, when douchebag cutted in the conversation.

we totally ignored him as expected, until he pulled me towards him and kissed me on the cheek and said smth which i dont rmb alr, tht made me laugh =.= ok, he's a douchebag even in my dreams.

and then i rmb taking bus no 3, and alighting at some sch tht had a table at the bus stop. there was smth abt a listening compre exam. i was abt to start on it when some guy came up to me and was like, "eindah eindah, go in to take ur exam!"

i stood up immediately and got one of those blood-rush-to-ur-brain thing, and then when all was fine, i looked at tht guy and was like, "uh, what?" and then he was like, "wait, can u tell me whats ur name?" i rmb replying in a very small voice.

my mom came along, and then she told me tht imma have to go to tht sch cos she registered me alr. smth abt 'getting rid of'. she asked me which of the uniforms i'd like to wear. she told me tht there are 2 types; the 'rich' one and the 'normal' one.

she said tht she might be getting me the 'rich' one. according to her it was the uniform tht the richer girls from the sch wore. i took a look at it and was like, ".....get me the other one, thanks." she diedie wanted to get me the 'rich' one. probz cos of the image.

i can still rmb how both the uniforms look like.

ok, and then i dont rmb alr. but i was officially a student from tht sch. if i aint wrong, siying was too, cos i rmb being with her the whole time. i cant rmb its name, though one of the girls were yelling it alot the whole time. she was the announcer of some sort. she's the one who gave announcements by yelling the sch's name to get its attention. if i aint wrong, the sch didnt have alot of students.

apparently douchebag was also a student from tht sch. yeah, i rmb alot of parts where he was staring at me. like, just Staring at me thru the crowd, when all the other students were in the midst of chaos.

i dont rmb if it's a boarding sch or what, but i know tht it aint a girls sch. apart from douchebag, i know i saw alot of guys. mm hmm. and tht's it tht i rmb. imma go try draw out the uniforms right now.

Day 2: Food.

food. eaten when hungry, eaten when depressed, eaten when bored, eaten when happy. food is just Simply amazing. and these are just Some of my favourites (;

1. prawns
some of my friends associate prawns with eindah, cos apparently, according to them, i love prawns so much tht they just Get reminded of me when they're eating tht wonderful seafood (x i'm fine with any prawns, especially them deep fried and butter ones.

my family always shoves the prawns to me at dinner. i was watching Shark Tale with my dad once, and there was the scene where the prawn was begging the shark not to eat him cos he had a family tht he worked so hard to feed. my dad was like, "do u see tht? the prawn's so sad but u still want to eat them. tsk." -.-

2. seafood!!!1
heck, i love all seafood ok.

ok, let's not bother with numbers. i love all food. so there. done. idk what to do without food. im grateful tht i'm a singaporean who has parents tht work hard to feed all of us. i hate seeing leftovers, which is why i always eat my lil bro's, because sadly i aint able to teleport them to africa.



but guess what? i do have food tht i dislike.
like brocoli. and ikan bilis.

Day 1: things tht occupy me.

alrighty. we shall start off with things tht i like to do. aka hobbies. (it's been awhile since i've made use of tht word)

1. video-editting
yes, we all know one of my hobbies is video-editting. i first did it in 2007, during my pri sch graduation days. everyone was crying cos it suddenly crossed their mind tht we are LEAVING PRI SCH ! yeah, i cried too. awhile lah.

decided to make a video using pictures from all the times during pri sch. everyone was really helpful, they gave me tons of pics for me to use. the project took me days... and then finally it was done. at tht time i was a noob at the WMM thing. so i didnt save the movie into the correct format..

i didnt know what to do, so tht completed project remained a project, and was nvr an actual video. by the time i knew what to do, it was too late. my desktop had a bloody virus, and it wiped everything off my comp. including tht finished project.

yeah, so no videos were ever uploaded. looking back during those days , i feel so embarrassed for being a blurblock right now.

yeah... i started video editting again only in late 2010. like, really late 2010. around november, which was when i got this laptop of mine. i realized tht i still had the talent (macam faham), so i decided to relight this old skill of mine.


the first video i ever made again



alrighty, tht's one hobby down.

2. poetry
idk what u call it. but i write things tht come in lines and rhyme and has a short message written in a very long way. the very first time i wrote one was... ok, i dont rmb. but like video-editting, my writing poems was just Another 're-discovered' skill of mine.

i restarted in early 2009. the very first poem i ever wrote again had really cheem lyrics and almost made no sense. let me just Get it for you...

the very first poem i ever wrote again

the only light in the crowd
all alone in the town
the way ur guitar shone took my notice
u strummed it and i forgot everything
i was blind
but ur song led my way to the light

tht melody, it feels familiar the very first time
it was a link even before i saw you
must have been fate
tht melody, dragged me in from the very first line
attraction to ur instrument and ur song
you the mastermind

ok, i'm embarrassed alr.
no, i cant rmb its title. i think it's "Tht Melody". whatever lah. =.=

i keep these in files numbered from one to six. apparently file #6 only has two poems; an untitled one and "the Hex of God". the former's about a heartbroken girl and a douchebag male, while the latter is something about war. personally i think the Hex of God is quite interesting sia.

3. an X on the Right Shoulder
uhm... some stick dude tht i always drew to represent my feelings. he's got an X on his right shoulder cos he got hurt there once. yeah, he's me but he's male. his love interest is some other stick figure with an I on its body.

click here to see this lil dude, or as i like to call him; X RS. (with a space!)
i assure you, you will get along just Fine with him.

he's originally a female. but then i was like, "shit she doesnt LOOK like a female." i then decided to make her a him. but then i was like, "shit, what abt her love interest?" i thought for a sec before deciding tht irshad's stickman shall be female.

4. writing
yes, the ultimate hobby. it's my passion man. idk what to do if there aint such things as pens or notebooks or paper. i rmb when my teacha made us write journals back in p4. i liked doing tht. one of the topics was ambitions, so naturally i declared tht i wanted to be a writer.

my teacha read out my entry to the whole class, which she should NOT have done. the kids in my class started making fun of me, and always snatched whatever i was writing, be it my sch work or my personal stuff. they tossed it around and eventually they all knew my secrets.

i guess u may consider me currently writing a book. idk, they're a buncha fulscaps with numbers at the bottom. yeah, i guess it's a book. what is it abt? to make a long story short, it's abt a dream.

5. walking
done when i am upset. the very first time was, in august last year. it was fasting month, i cooked for both my brothers cos my mom wasnt home. what saddened me was the fact tht both of them didnt eat tgt with me at the dinner table.

idk, i admit tht i cried a truckload of tears tht evening. when i was done with my food i went out for a walk, and truth be told, it helped. i cried like shit, i got cold, i got scared, but at the end of the day, i felt sooo muuuch better. and then my eyes were swollen the next morn.

----------------------------------------------
and these are just A bunch of other hobbies tht i sometimes may do in my spare time.
6. shoot some m.t.f.k. zombies
i seem to have smth against them ever since I Am Legend.

7. Smosh
hell yeah, they are awesome. why do i like them the best of all other Youtubers? cos two is better than one. and they're FUNNY SHIT ! i heard tht their female fans like them only cos they're cute. uh... tht's so stupid. what if they started talking in sign language?

8. play scenes in my head
things tht i wish could have happened, or i wish would happen. like bashing the crap out of some douchebags i we know.

9. make music videos in my head
i also have the talent to make amazing music videos in my head. unfortunately they will NEVER be seen by any HUMAN.

10. dreaming
be it in the night or day, i love dreaming. my dreams are weird and occassionally make me laugh, but the most important thing is tht they teach me valuable lessons. yes, awesome tht i'm able to rmb them.

music . art .

i've never felt this alone before.

nobody's home. everybody else is busy. the silence is killing me.

my brother is out. my other brother is at a sleepover. parents are trying to earn a living for us. where are the neighbours? when was the last time i heard keys unlocking the gates? or the karang guni man? even the construction site across my bedroom window is unusually quiet. i wonder what's gg on.

i once said tht i dont like silence, but tht i dont like noise either. my friend was like, "then how !?" i told him, "music."

what comes first into ur head when u see the word 'music' ?

actually now tht i think abt it, everything is music. just Like how everything is art. the neighbour's cat's bell is music, the sound of the keyboard is music, footsteps is music. it just Depends on how u look at it. like art. not everyone appreciates art, when life is an art itself.

why is music always associated with song ? i dont think tht is necessary. right right ??? and why do ppl think abt drawing, or painting when they think of the word 'art' ? "i'm not good at art." like, really? more specifically, you just Can't draw, tht's all. right ?

music is art. everything is art . YOU are an art. (: no matter what talent u have, it's all art. right?

i love you.

what's so difficult abt tht? -.-
♥

intentions.

we do things for a reason. whatever the intention is, be it good or bad, we all do something for a reason. sometimes it's a help in disguise; at other times it is a reversed bribery (like, u do something good, and then ask for something in return) .

intentions are not always told . the good ones are kept secret usually because of pride. the bad ones, well obviously they are wanted to be kept secret. right? sometimes the good intentions are mistaken for the bad, and vice versa. maybe tht's why ppl get stepped on all the time; bcos their good intentions were accused to be for wrong reasons. if u get what i mean.

so yeah... it doesnt matter if ppl mistake ur intentions to be of wrong 'genre' . as long as u managed to help someone by doing smth with good intentions. as long as God knows, and YOU. tht's all tht matters.

bad days

we all have, at some points or another, went thru a bad day where everything went wrong. it cant be helped; it's neither urs nor the ppl around yous' faults.

but no matter what happened, dont ever ever say "Today sucked."
be grateful tht u had today. you know what they say, today is a gift, tht's why it's called the Present. u dont say it sucks when someone gives u a present right? same thing. appreciate it.

dont let one affect many, tht's what i always say.
one day gone wrong doesnt determine ur fate. today was awful, so what? there's still tomorrow, and a lot more days!

stories.

everyone is a book.

there's a story inside, but it's just A matter of whether u want to read it or not. a book cant be judged by its cover, neither can it be by its summary nor genre. every book has its unexpected twist. something u never thought would have been. you wont understand it unless u read the story itself.

everyone has their problems. it's just A matter of whether they let it pull them down or not.

for me, the best way to conquer problems is by talking to someone abt it. it really helps. it ensures tht someone out there is willing to listen to all ur whines and cries. whenever someone is telling me all his problems, i'll keep quiet and wait until he is done.

never interrupt a confide. cos when u do, the confider will think tht what u say will be against him, and hell nvr share u his probs, for he is afraid of being told he's wrong. when a person is down, all u gotta do is listen. really, it helps alot. and when your down, all u gotta do is talk.

it doesnt matter who, as long as u got those problems out of ur head, u've got no more reason to think abt them anymore. crying makes it ten times better. make ur eyes run out of tears! (:

so yeah... telling stories is always a joy. if it's a happy story, u'll just Spread the smiles, when the person u're sharing it with sees how happy u are when telling it. if it's a sad story, you're letting all the sadness out, and sometimes share it with ur listener, which is a joy itself.

everything has a story.
every language is a story.
every name is a story.
every place is a story.
every song is a story.
even reasons have stories.

so go ahead ! tell ur stories.

easier said than done

run away from home? really?

you're a girl. a young girl. one who knows very little because the brother who's been teaching you how to fight left you halfway. what do u know?

one who's very weak, one whose health is weak, and whose backbone is fragile. really, what do u know? ur glare is as cold as ice. but ur self-defence melts so quickly. ....no, self defence shouldnt even melt. nobody must know ur weaknesses... no names must be mentioned to allow ur heart to give way...

ok, whatever.
dont ever run away from home. regardless of whether ur a girl or a boy. home is the safest place, no matter where u live; which area, or a bungalow or a flat... the place where you've had ur comfort moments the most. THT is the safest.

so right now, im angry with my MOM. she gave me a light bulb last month, and it's sitting at the edge of my desk, staring right at me. im tempted to throw it into the dustbin in HER ROOM, along with all the birthday cards, anklets and tees she gave me. but then again, i thought.. if i were to get rid of all the things she's given me, i might as well suicide too.

mothers gave us our lives.

mothers sacrifice alot for us. they CHOSE to have you, tht is alr one. their beauty, their leisure time, their career... yeah, all tht. the worst thing a child could ever say to her mother is, "i didnt ask u to give birth to me!"

.................mothers have feelings too.

if they nag, scold, and do all those small little normal things tht u find annoying, u should be grateful tht her presence is there for you to regard. some kids dont even have mothers... some teenagers took so long to rebuild the relationship with their mothers, only to bump into an unfortunate event whereby their mother passes away...

i think the only lie ur mom ever told you was when she comforted you with the word 'forever'... no matter how comforting it is, it's an irrevocable lie.

the thin shoulder tht u pushed so hard when in an arguement... she's ur mother. she's fragile. she's old. most of all, she aint gonna be here for much longer... u know she's here right now. she will be, until she dies. u should make her happy so she can leave in peace...

if u never got along with her, the least u could do is cry by her deathbed. she'll be so happy tht the child who's hated her all along, finally regarded her as their mother. the shine in tht last smile may make u cry endless tears, but the good thing is tht ur mother has left with happiness and peace in her mind...

if ur mom aint ur biological one, it's great tht she was willing to become the family tht u are a part of. she chose to take care of you. if u never accepted her, she accepted you and was trying very hard ...

ok, think ive said enough.

every mother is special. regardless of age, race, character. love your mom.
and on the note,

i love my mother.
(even though she just Came into my room to find trouble with me)

everyone has a tumblr, but im still on blogger. isit cos im unable to move on? nope. its cos im more comfortable here.

not all things are worth moving on. maybe your trying to forget ur ex cos ur friends are telling you to. maybe ur parents are telling you not to cry over a grandparent's death. but who are they to tell u tht? to whom does ur life belong to?

yes, make ur own decisions. dont listen to others. if u feel like basking in the past, so be it. just Dont show it, dont tell anyone tht u cant move on, lest they accuse u of being a loser. its ur comfort zone. do what u like. stop listening to others. listen to urself.

i hope you're happy.

i'm not. but i guess it wont matter shit to you. as long as ur freaking money wasnt wasted cos of me, my happiness doesnt matter shit. even if i dont smile, it doesnt matter bcos at least the bloody ticket was used. am i really the princess u claimed me to be in front of my sch mates?

u said i should listen to you cos u are my daughter. but i think i should listen to me cos im myself. ive got more rights to make the decision for myself. you're lucky tht nothing flew to ur face aft all. the sch is giving me a reward for my studies. but you're bringing me out of the country against my own will. i'm afraid of overseas places. but you dont know abt tht. why?

since young, u nvr really noticed my fears at all do you? u kept buying me dolls cos u never noticed how afraid i was of them. u dont know what i like, what i dislike. u keep buying me things tht i dont really favour. u buy me lots of chocolates, when i detest majority of the chocs out there.

the fact tht i didnt say anything means im ok with it. cos i appreciate the thoughts.
well guess what? this time it aint ok.

for the very first time i am voicing out my objection. i guess u aint used to it, which is why you cant take it. ok then, fine then. i tried. i suppose from now on, ive gotta keep lying abt my opinions just To prevent u from wanting to slap my face.

ok. i get it.

MatiHidup Semula
by eindah. yeah, me.

Bila kehilangan hubungan dengan seseorang, aku selalu akan merajuk and menyesal sebab tidak melakukan apa yang aku sepatutnya buat dahulu. Aku asyik berharap yang jam akan membawa aku kembali ke masa yang aku massih berhubungan dengan orang yang telah aku kehilangan.

Aku akan asyik berfikir tentang kawan karib tersebut, dan mengingati apa-apa memori yang kami telah berkongsi. Lagi-lagi pun kalau aku telah terjatuh cinta dengan kawak itu. Aku akan menyesal sebab tidak memberitahunya walaupun telah ada perasaan ini selama setahun.

Ketengkanan ini akan berterusan sampai kawan-kawan aku yang masih ada akan mula berasa risau tentang keadaan aku. Mereka akan asyik ajak aku keluar ke tamandan main air supaya aku terpaksa ketawa sama-sama. Ada satu kali itu, bila aku seperti biasa sedang berasa dan kelihatan sedih, kawan-kawan aku itu telah menyimbah air kepadaku tiba-tiba. Mereka terus ketawa, dan aku pun mengambil air dari paip dengan cawan Slurpee aku lalu menyimbah kepada satu antara mereka. Ia pun menyebabkan yang lain untuk ikut mengambil air dan menyimbah kepada satu sama lain, jadi aku memang berasa gembira dan ketawa sama-sama mereka.

Mereka mengajar aku sesuatu yang amat penting. Walaupun telah kehilangan seorang cinta, kita masih ada kawan dan keluarga. Kita tidak boleh berasa seperti dunia telah khiamat oleh sebab telah kehilangan seseorang yang kami telah terjatuh cinta, sebab itu tidak sepenting hubungan dengan kawan-kawan dan keluarga. Aku telah memberi diriku peluang untuk menyedih dan berasa seperti aku hampir mati, tetapi aku telah pun memaksa diriku untuk berangkat sekali lagi.

i once told you, if my days started getting numbered, i'd treat you like shit so tht when i leave you won't be sad. i thought maybe tht was ur reason for regarding me like a piece of chewing gum. but right now, i really dont have time to think of tht.

i'm gonna start treating you like fuck.

if i was still ur God sister,
today would have made it eight months.

6:39 PM, you asked me.
6:42 PM, i answered. and my life changed.

tht changed everything. idk if it was the kiss on the forehead, idk if it was ur question, idk if it was my answer. all of tht ended our best friend relationship and started tht confusing couple-like sibling relationship. idk, maybe i regretted letting you kiss my forehead.

but it's okay, for a period of time, i felt bliss because ur brotherly love for me filled the hole tht my real older brother left behind when he 'left' me years ago. i do want to thank you for tht. maybe tht is what these anniversaries are for. to thank.

at times like these, i'd usually be at 500A.

i'm reminiscing. and it's very painful, but i cant help it. in fact, i WANT to go thru those times. i know i once told you tht what's past is past and tht we shouldnt waste our present thinking of it. but, just This once. let me lose my pride here.

of course, i haven't surrendered to YOU. i wouldn't want to go on my knees in front of you. right now, by wanting to bring back the past, i am losing to myself. yes, i'm a loser. but so what? at least i have not begged YOU to come back.

i'm out of my mind.
but only in my presence. when others are around, i act all superior, high and mighty and pretend i dont care. it's not because i'm afraid my friends would worry for me. it's my pride, once again.

when im alone, i break down. i cry when i'm by a place we were at once. i sniff and sob at the fact tht you left me for another girl. i wallow in self-pity , because i blamed everyone for the state tht i was in.

idk, i think i have said enough for tonight.

i had a dream where you died.

ur ghost was outside my house, and i was looking at you when you suddenly faded away, real slowly. when u were completely gone, i just Stared at the spot where u were standing at. at tht moment in the dream, i was just Shocked.

the next day was a sch day. during recess we were all allowed to leave sch and loiter at 458A. in the dream there was another carpark in the place of block 457, but i only frequented 458A, as so other students.

i started recalling mmrs i had with you at tht carpark, and then two of my friends came along and started talking to me, but i disregarded them cos i was emoing. once their backs were turned i ran off to the other carpark, and i saw those two friends watching me ran all the way to the rooftop.

once i got there i started screaming, tears were running down my cheeks and i couldnt stop yelling ur name.

i woke up screaming, before realizing it was all a dream. i immediately looked for my phone and texted you. and when you didnt reply despite four hours having been passed, i started to lose control. i kept thinking of the worse. and i kept writing and scribbling violently just To get my mind off things.

and then you, you texted me. knowing tht you were alright felt so much like discovering a cure for a killer disease.

i thought of a few theories as to why i was insomniac for the past few days then. i shared them with you, which was , i was insomniac only if i sleep alone or in another room. you told me to sleep with someone, to which i said none of my family wanted to sleep in my room.

you were like, "wow. sleep with me then." i showed a face, and you sighed, "if only it's possible." i was surprised tht you were willing, cos "my room is damn scary at night", i said. you answered, "how to sleep at ur place anyway. if your family finds out, jialat." you sounded so serious, and i was alr thinking things.

i left you alone aft tht, and then you suddenly said; "Dek. i love you."

and i knew tht the great feeling i had wasnt anything to do with our sibling-ly love.

i told you tht i was restless when you didnt text me at all the whole day the day before (you were on an EBS trip to singapore poly or something) , you kept pestering me to admit tht i missed you. when i finally gave in to you, i admitted something to myself too. ....but i kept trying to deny it.

you suddenly asked me if there was anything i wanted to tell you. i asked myself if you were an esper, but i said to you No? with a question mark. i asked you if YOU had anything to tell me. to tht, you said; "yeap. i love you dek! *chuckles* kay tht's all."

and then i admitted it to myself again.
but then i denied it again.

when i went out of the country, i couldnt stop thinking of you. and when i came back from out of the country, you were the first person i wanted to meet. and you were the only person i met when i returned.

you fetched me from underneath my void deck, and again, i remember the exact spot where you were waiting. we started walking but then i told you i wanted to walk another route, which was the longer way.

as always, we talked. i told you many things i discovered when i was in malaysia. i told you abt the brightest star on the highway which i named after you. i told you abt how i was waiting so long for something, and when it was finally gg to happen, i kept having the urge to do something tht will make waiting for it for nothing.

you looked at me blankly after i said tht. you didnt understand, so i gave an example, i said; "i was waiting to be near in singapore again cos there'd be reception and all my texts would come. but when i was waiting to get near the border in the car, i kept having this urge to open the car door and throw my phone away."

you laughed. i must have sounded ridicoulous.

it was indeed a long way, but i had fun talking to you and i never really got tired. when we got to PRP, we were walking thru the grass when i sunk into the mud.. you laughed at me bcos i deserved it for being lazy and for wanting to walk tht shortcut.

i gave you grape flavoured gum. i scolded you when you threw the wrapper anyhow, but you completely ignored me, and we contined walking. you brought me to a place tht, according to you, was newly built. i had never been there before you showed me.

we were seated when i saw you blow a bubble from the corner of my eye. but by the time i turned, it had already burst. i asked you to blow one more bubble for me, and you smiled a little, telling me to wait. so i looked at you while waiting.

you looked back at me from the corner of ur eye, and we remained like tht, you looking at the sky and me staring at you chewing, in silence. until you laughed. i was taken aback, and then you laughed out, "stop staring at me!"

i loved ur laugh.

when you were done with ur chewing and demo of bubble-blowing (thanks to me), you started looking around on the ground. i watched you pick up a leaf, wondering what was it tht you were up to.. apparently, you were looking for something to spit out your gum onto. and tht was what you did, you spat ur gum into the leaf, before throwing it back to where you found it. and then you said, "go back to nature!"

i told you i wanted to watch the sun rise, and then you told me you once saw, and it was beautiful. you said i should really see it sometime. i was surprised tht you could see it from ur house, and you said tht i should be able to see it from my house as well.

me: what abt my bedroom ?
you: yeah, can.
me: eh, step kau tahu bedroom aku eje.

tht made you laugh. i liked tht embarrassed and lost face of urs before you burst into small chuckles. in fact i made you laugh alot tht day. i just Dont rmb the reasons.

occassionally you'd have ur arm around my shoulders as usual, and i kissed ur cheek alot of times too. idk, i was probably opening up to you more and more. i told you abt how a little voice in my head asked me why i'd missed you and not my then crush when i was in malaysia. you laughed, and ur reaction told me tht you never really thought of tht urself.

as usual we only got up to leave a little after it got dark. this time, YOU suggested walking another long way back . tht long route was really dark, and as usual there was not many ppl there. i had my hand on ur arm.

at one point you parkoured, like you always do, and when you almost fell into the canal, you really scared the shyt out of me. but i didnt show it, i just Scolded you w/o showing any reason clearly. you laughed at my annoyed face and we contined walking.

the bridge there used to scare me. as we were walking thru it, you searched for my hand and held it . when we got to my void deck, i gave you one last kiss on ur cheek before watching you leave.

i was trying to cheer you up.
and i was really, really satisifed when i saw how happy you looked tht day.