i'm damn tired.

yeah. for the Love of my Life, i shall go to the doc. haix. i hate the doc. but, i shall go. dammit. did i really say i would ...? haizz . i hope i dont back out/regret. this is shameless of me, but can i at least get a notebook as my reward if i do as told ?

anyhoos, let's reminisce today .

first period was malay . guess what, i did my homework sia. MALAY homework . arent you all proud of me? and i didnt sleep at all during the 2 periods, instead, everyone else was . but me, i was furiously writing down notes.

next was english, and we were watching some vid tht had boobies and female butts (dont ask) when mrs woo passed by and stopped to watch as well, and she didnt look pleased. syafie didnt look the least bit guilty at all !

during recess, the 6 of us girls from 5/1 namely siying, shushan, priscilla, pearl and asleah (and me) were walking up to the 4th floor cause somebody wanted to take maths tb or smth. i was like the last in the line as we were walking up the stairs .

guess what? along came mrs sherri, and yeah, all our fringes were down. saw her talking to pris and pearl. and me? without thinking, i turned my back and dashed down the stairs, and headed to the canteen on my own .

holy shit sia! i escaped, and abandoned my comrades. horrible little douche right?

sat at the canteen alone, on the usual table by the councillior room . along came sab's little cousin, (whose name i still do not know) he was like asking, "may i sit here?" there was a little silence and then im like, "they're on the way down."

he stared at me like O_____O and then he nodded and went to sit at some bench behind me. sab and farizah came , and then many eons later the girls from 5/1. asleah glared at me and was like, "you escape, you betrayer!"

i brought cupcakes to sch today! a blueberry, a chocolate, and my bro's cheese chiffon. i took the last one, shhh! realized tht i had coins, enough for 2 paos, so tht was what i ate too !

humans was good. i paid attention and i understand more abt the rise of venice now. i heard tht they went thru venice during bridging, which i missed bcos i didnt go . glad i could catch up.

so what helped venice rise? first point is the leadership, next point is innovative processes. third, trading developments. fourth, rearrangements in the government. lastly, the industrial developments. heh!

aft tht we had maths, where i heard a convo which i laughed like shit at .

omg, i laughed like shit sia. timothy was damn shocked when i burst out laughing, he was like, "woah. this is like the first time you laugh until like tht. what's so funny, can share the joke?" i put on a straight face and was like, "no." then i stopped smiling too .

he stared at me and was like, "ok. now you're back to your normal self. tht was so fast." i nodded and then i tried to do my maths. tried because a few secs later i burst into laughter again!

then timothy kept asking me to share the joke. so i did. i told him the convo tht i heard:

mr low: do all the exercise 1s in the ex book #1, and do all the exercise 2s in the ex book #2 .
wei liat: huh then got exercise book #3 also ah!?

YEAH, FOR SOME REASON I FOUND IT FUNNY OKAY .
and yeah , timothy was also damn shocked to know tht i find it funny. hooboy.

aft tht was cme , where we wrote abt our addictions . and then we wrote journal . and then hurrah, the last bell for the sch day rang.

went to e hub with siying and asleah, with the intention of writing my schedule for next week. when i hopped in to the counter, wani was like "HEEEEYYYY !!!!" hehehehe. been eons since i last saw her too ! and then zafirah (gro) was like "ehhhhh it's YOU !"

asked for the 'thingy to write schedule for next week' (i really said tht cause idk what it's called) then wani passed it to me and was like "write for next next week too!" so, i wrote pm for friday the 27th, am for saturday the 28th, pm for friday the 3rd and am for saturday the 4th . hopefully i get all the shifts i requested . really need the money ... haix.

said goodiebyes to wani and zafirah , and then made our way down to sarpino cause siying wanted to treat me lunchey . luckily i was able to afford my own drink, tho i had to borrow twenty cents from asleah .

chit chatted while eating. talked abt 4/2 2011, abt missing the two kecoh dudes namely farhan and faeez (faiz tarmizi) . dammit! i really miss them . esp faeez . hmm .

saw bennicker at richton, made my way over just to say hello, and then siying asleah and i went to ntuc cause siying wanted to buy sweets. and then many eons later i am home, and gg out again to chillax at z prp .

walked all the way to the breakwater tht i slept at with siying, shad and tim. there was one part where the path got blocked by a fallen tree, i had to make my way around it , and tht part was firetrucking nerve-wrecking !

sat by the waves, the tide was damn high . was writing in diary when i kinda felt a presence behind me. i thought irshad came alr, but i ignored tht aura cause i thought he would have nudged me if it really was him .

was quite some time, tht aura lingering behind me. at one point i kinda freaked out and gathered the guts to turn around, and there he was : the most handsome boy in the world. the Love of my Life.

his face was like by mine, and i was like "oh SHIT!" cause he shocked the shit out of me sia! he laughed as always and then he sat next to me and i'm like, "how long have you been standing there?" he pointed at a para in my latest entry and was like, "ever since you wrote there."

i was like, "and why didnt you say anything?" he was like, "because you looked so damn engrossed in your writing." somehow, i find tht a little sweet .



talked abt the personal shit some more. haix .

now, my diary is with him. idk why but i had the feeling to lend him me current diary suddenly, so tht was what i did. mmmhmm, sometimes i just do things without thinking sia.i miss the lil notebook now. o well .

guess what ? hmm ... i'll go to the clinic this week . haix.

eh! guess what? holy firetruck . i miss them.

an awesome younger brother.

heidiho. here's how my day went.

went to ws with bro, and he treated me mad jack. didnt want to eat smth so expensive actually, but he kept insisting so i just agreed to it, eventually. tried to find smth cheap to eat but it's a sunday, so sadly there was no student meal.

he told me the waiter looked so much like khairul irfan, and then i was like, o yeah! he did say tht his brother works here. and then each time tht waiter passed by us, or attended to us, my bro and i would smile at each other for no reason.

at the end of it all , i drew on the tissue a Thank You with a little smiley face. and then we made our way to the library cause our intention was to study/do homework .

guess what? i did my malay weekend homework! when was the last time i did smth tht cikgu fatimah assigned us? yes, idr. all i rmb is doing stuff tht i owe her, not stuff which she just newly gave, if you get what i mean.

all was good, my bro was obediently doing his homework too. just so you know, he's a very stubborn kid. and if you're thinking, just like his sister, hehehehe. =_______=

in the midst of doing our work, i randomly asked him, "where is popular?" he pointed to the ceiling, but then i was like, "really? but the ceiling's so high. where's popular?" and then he got real dumbfounded.

cause really! i've always wondered where the hell is popular, when the library ceiling is so high but the escalator from the 4th to 5th storey aint tht long.

around 6, we went to popular cause i needed to get some stuff. searched like shit for the freaking exercise books sia. i spent some eons at the tys section cause i was like wondering which one to buy. and then in the midst of my dilemma, i had a flashback :

esha (bro's gf) : ...eindah?
me: uh?
esha: hey!
me: uh ...?
esha: ._. i'm your brother's girlfriend ?
me: ohhhh . hi.
esha: how are you?? i thought we were gonna go out the other time!
me: oh, i was sick.
esha: i see.
me: mm.
esha: so ... you in sec 5?
me: yeahh.
esha: study hard ok? it's your O levels. which reminds me, do you want any of my ten year series? i've many which i barely did !
me: o sure.
esha: okay! i'll pass them to your bro for ya! :DDDDD
me: k, thanks.

SO YEAH . i dont really hafta buy o level tys now, thanks to z brother's girlfriend. and yeah, we had tht convo. we sure did ...

where was i ? o aye, uh huh. in the end i bought my a3 drawing paper, ring file, dividers, and z exercise book . the bill wasnt even 9 bucks! thanks to z popular card !

went elias mall awhile, where i bought my prepaid card. and then bro bought me chocolate cupcakes from prima deli , aw... he seems to have this awareness of my being broke, somehow. cause usually he would give some excuse like he's broke when i know he's loaded.

so anyhoos. the day started off terrible, but i ended it with an awesome younger brother by the name of Nazriq E'irfan .

what am i gonna do abt this financial problem of mine you ask? i had 32 in my box, and then irshad transferred 30 more bucks into my account this afternoon. spent money on prepaid, and stationery, and to top up ezlink card.

k, i'll survive the whole week on the remaining cash . tmrw imma go to workplace and write my request for next week's schedule, and hopefully get my pays which i left sitting in gin's drawer since weeks ago. should i try working full shifts ?

thank you irshad, for lending me the money. and thank you siying, for offering to treat me lunchey tmrw. you guys have no idea how firetrucking grateful i am to you . *SOB*

I AM DOOMED.

it is a beautiful sunday morning and guess what, i'm fucked up.

i am broke . i've only 32 bucks in tht little pink box of mine. wanna know why? the past sch days, ive been using my own money as sch allowance, cause apparently my parents are angry with me and dont wanna leave me anymore money.

next reason, is because i didnt collect my two weeks' pay some weeks ago. i dont know if i can still take them, cause ive never kept my pays with them before, if you get what i mean.

last reason, is because my father took my bursary money. i used it only to buy my sch stuff and sch bag, and the rest, he kept it in his bank. and he aint letting me have any more.

yeah, i am doomed. hopefully by tmrw they'd give me my sch money again. or not i'll have to starve every recess and lunch, and aft sch i'll have to go home straight to cook myself some maggi. with breaded prawns.

i am doomed !!!! i still needa get some more sch stuff, like ring file, dividers, A2 drawing paper, and chemy tys. dammit! to make things worse, i need moolah for the likes of transport (ezlink) and communication (prepaid and broadband) purposes as well.

so, is it my fault tht i'm in this state right now? wait, dont answer that. dont have to rub it in my face.

darn it. i've never been this broke for all i rmb. WHAT DO I DO !?!?!?

damn girl .

heidiho, guess what? i seriously miss the three of them right now. altho we've only gone out just twice, when it's all 4 of us, gg out with them is like the only thing tht can make me really happy right now. feels like ive been deprived of them for years.

how was my day you ask? it was boring. i spent the whole day at home, and i was so damn restless sia. i kept feeling like i had smth to do (which i most probs have, eg homework), but it's like i had no energy or strength to even get up from bed.

wrote a lot in diary tho. it's really like the one tht i tell the most things to. of course, the notebook varies every time so it's not really one, but yeah, you get what i mean.

but... the thing abt the most beautiful woman on earth, i rarely talk abt it even in my diaries. i'm like used to not talking abt it much. so if you were to read thru all my diaries, i rarely talk abt it actually . maybe just once in a blue moon, but never aft every attack. just thought i'd say this .

anyhoos, i think we have got a new reader by the name of timothy. idk, he knows my blog address, and he asked for the new one, but whether he reads it or not i do not know.

seems like im a good influence with all this diary writing, cause he's even got his own diary now. he started writing aft our study session with siying, which was on the 10th. we shall see if he stays commited, which i hope he does cause his notebook is a really f a t one. it'll be a pity if he doesnt put it to good use.

tmrw i shall sing straitjacket feeling . yesterday was hell but today i'm fine without you. haix, i really miss those three. the way they all comforted me . irshad with the usual stuff, siying with the annoying/irritating me, timothy with the tryna make me laugh. hehe. yeahh... i guess those three are really the ones who can really make me happy right now .

i'm restless .

a voice has been telling me to go to the doc. i told it to shut up, but it told me tht the only way to make it shut up is to go to the doc. so, the voice is still ringing away in my head right now .

i've decided on my art topic, chose the first one. and ive gotten my three ideas, so all tht's left is to write ms chua my concept brief. it's a really simple topic but hopefully with my creativity i'd be able to complicate it in order to score marks.

i aimed an A2 for my n level art, but sadly i only got a 3. my target for o levels shall be a 2 as well, and imma work really hard to meet with it. and for my maths too, which target is a 2 too.

have i told you? my aunt (mom's sis) and uncle is gonna get me a cammie :3 for my videography stuff, and then aft o levels, they would be upgrading my comp to a macbook. and then my uncle gonna get me some other videography equipment.

AND, my aunt wants me to get my driver's license as soon as i turn 18, and she's gonna get me a car too. O: hopefully irshad would be with me til then, and then we could all go car-browsing tgt. (tht was his suggestion :3)

mmhmm.... better study really hard then. what are my targets for Os you ask?

subject//my target for Ns//what i got for Ns//my target for Os
english//A1//A1//A1
malay//A2//A2//A1
maths//A1//B3//A2
science//A2//A2//A1
humans//B4//B3//A2
art//A2//B3//A2

yes, my targets are waiting for me. i shall meet them there and not halfway, never halfway. if tht's where i planned to meet them, i shall meet them there. ok, done abt tht, look at this.



wanna go there? great! i shall grant you your wish.

oh yeah, earlier on i suddenly had this crazy idea for a 2011 cohort party. just imagine! the area where 4/2 had chalet at tht time, and then one class takes one chalet. cool kan? 4/2 would be between 4/1 and 4/3 of course :3

wow, tht'd be awesome sia. O: yeahh, i'll have to work really hard for tht to happen.

why do i feel so alone? where are siying and irshad? i wonder if they're thinking of me. why does one day without them feels so much like ive not seen them for years? OHHHHH kkkk i know why alr. shall write it in my diary.

anyhoos, i can always see siying, and tim , in sch . but irshad? he's gonna be a real busy man, cause he has cca now. yeah, it does sound weird hearing him having a cca, cause all the years ive known him he has never said oh i cant, i have cca. aint used to it at all.

but o well, all tht was like, what? 2009, 2010? it's 2012 alr. and i'm taking my o levels too. we're both gonna be real busy. we'll see each other less and less and not as much as now, altho, i do hope i can see him at least one a week...

oh, oh, oh. look at this. cute right? before and after.




i wanna do some crazy firetruck shit.

i just remembered last night's dream and im scared now. i just want irshad with me right now please. please...

i just feel like blogging.

put yourself in my shoes. come on, try them on. fit your feet into my nikes. are your feet too small? too big? yeah, cause they aint your shoes. they're mine. you'll never feel the comfort tht i feel, because to me, they are just right.

but then again, when i first got these shoes, i was getting new blisters every time i wore them. the blisters would be so bad that the entire skin of my ankle would be peeled off and bleeding thru to my socks. and a box of plasters doesnt help to at least comfort the pain at all.

whats my point in saying all this you ask? i dunno, it's up to you what you wanna think .

i'm damn tired. fyi i am not emoing. i'm fine. damn fine. as always. i dont know why you guys keep asking me whether i am ok or not, cause i am. i am ok. im fine. dont worry abt me. im alright. as always .

an evening at the park

heidiho.

i ate mad jack ytd, with shushan. and as a belated bday pressie, i treated her. aft tht, went to her place , cause i had the mood suddenly, to learn more abt chemistry. and yeah, good thing i brought along my notebook, cause i learnt so much from her. *bow in respect*

ive not gone out with her for a really long time alr. and then in the midst of studying we reminisced 2009 stuff as well. aww....

meanwhile, siying and timothy and irshad were eating domino, and i thought of meeting them aftwards cause i didnt feel like eating. but then im like, k my task at shan's place is done anyway so i just went ahead to meet them .

took 109 and walked there from petrol station. was so damn happy to see them, but they kept asking why i look so sad. i was like, no? im fine. but the more i said tht the more they didnt believe me.

talked while they ate, and laughed also. managed to trip siying and timothy when they were gg to wash their hands, and then tim took out this thingy wrapped in cloth. he said it was a camcorder but the way he handled it was damn suspicious, so i didnt want to touch it.

but yeah, it is a camcorder. played with it for awhile, recording random shit. and then we decided to go to the park to play! walked there at first but we took bus halfway since it was coming in a few anyway. so, when it came, alighted right at the end.

walked to the swings, the park was so damn empty. siying got so damn excited when she saw the swings, heheh. i knew it. so we all played la. tim took the swing next to me while siying and shad took the other 2.

tim was struggling with the swings sia! he looked so helpless, i couldnt help laughing like shit when i was swinging away.

irshad was like at the same momentum as me. we were looking at each other over the distance, swing swinging, then he was like woah! you're gg 90 degrees! hahahahah, yeahh! i was gg high!

of course, halfway i got a little nauseous so i dragged my feet in the sand to stop the swing. saw some kitties in the distance so i picked up my bag and went on ahead. was walking towards them slowly when they looked at smth behind me, turned out to be irshad.

we walked by the beach and then he asked me again if there's anything wrong. i said no of course. talked abt some personal shit and then we hugged. aw...

reunited with siying and timothy. then we went to sit by the breakwaters. it was getting dark and i got down to write stuff into the sand, was typing a H when siying came along and drew an E instead.

i went off and stared at the horizon (i guess) and then i heard someone coming my way, once again it turned out to be irshad. he was like, what's wrong? why do you keep wanting to be alone? and im like, nothing? talked abt the same things again, and then we kissed.

went back to breakwaters, and then the 4 of us lied down, looking up at the sky and tht single satellite lingering above. talked abt the clouds, i still rmb a time in 2010 when i was so fascinated with the fact tht it was orangey purple.

i love this combo of the 4 of us. like so best friendly. hehehehe. yeah and then we cuddled, the respective couples. siying and tim were very noisy laughing away while irshad and i just kept each other close. and then i fell asleep! the last thing i heard was smth abt gym.

i couldnt rmb my dream, but i woke up feeling shocked. the first thing i saw was siying, so i was like o siying is here, siying is here. dont worry. and then i saw tim and then irshad looked down at me so i was like, ok im safe, im safe.

cant rmb what i dreamt of.

apart from what happened when we were waiting for the 403, everything was fine and dandy. i love these ppl, they are all uber awesome. and i loved ytd. thank you for the day guys .

so now, we shall move on to today the 13th.

in the spare classroom, tim sits next to me. he's very good company and all, but not if he's talking when im tryna listen. weeell he was funny tho, the way he layan me when i malas to layan him. get it?

mother tongue was boring sia, to be honest. yeah, they're all right. the way cikgu fatimah teaches is like not sincere at all. and congrats to her cause it was her lesson tht i fell asleep in, the very first sleeping-in-class session for 2012.

i got held back during lunch cause i owed her a compo. she made me sit outside the staff room and i was halfway done but i got so damn bored tht i just cabot a few mins before the bell rang. walked around a bit before makin my way to 5/1's temp classroom.

had self study where i read up a little abt Sets, and i understand the basics now, cant wait to do the little practices. kept scolding tim cause he was drawing away. in the end, i just let him be. even when mrs chew was like walking towards him .

aft sch, went to tamp with siying and timothy. halfway thru the bus ride i was like, i feel like gg to the airport. they teros kecoh abt wanting to go airport just cause i mentioned it. come to think of it, they seemed to have been wanting to cheer me up, cause they kept asking me why i looked so sad. so sweet.

but yeah, im fine. dunno why they kept asking me not to be sad and all tht. im fine!

got our food and then we ate, and then walked around at the shit i forgot the name of the shop. k we walked around in there and then tim made me look thru the 3D glasses.

walked to mrt, and said bye there but realized tht my ez link card ran out of cash. so ran for siying and tim, and ended up taking bus with them. took 39, and then while waiting for the bus, and on the bus, they kept challenging each other to see who can make me smile first.

the way they did all tht, i wouldnt have just smiled. i would have cried tears of joy. haix. so damn sweet awesome ppl...

heidiho. it is a beautiful thursday morning, a boring one but still beautiful nonetheless. so, what happened to me ytd you ask? i can only tell you what happened to me last night/this morning.

first things first, there was this really tall hotel in this park. it happened to be tht irshad and i got a room there, tho idk for what. and then in the morning, we went to the park, tht was so damn sweet sey. early morning walk in the park.

when we were walking back to the hotel, i started running at one point. irshad didnt run i think, or not he would have definitely caught up with me alr. but i didnt see him at all, i got into the lift at the lobby and was like pressing the close button furiously.

and yeah, i dunno why i did tht.

and z MKI came up to me and begged me to take him back. of course i said no, and he kept following me around and crying his eyes out.

hmmmm, there is no sch today. you know why? cause we all got good results. so, i am pretty bored. my throat hurts a little. hmm.

i didnt make it last night. haix. i tried, but i didnt make it. i got stuck somewhere and by the time i was out, the girls would have alr been done eons before. haix.

oh yeah, i have one more thing to say.

i set This World Cant Tear Us Apart as my alarm tone. so every morning i will have the song stuck in my head. and the line tht always play repeatedly is: "together with hope, let's salute the only things tht matter."

ive no idea what the actual lyrics are, tho. this is just what i catch. but yeah, they do mean a lot dont they? ive been writing tht in the fog on the mirror a lot these days.

this morning i really did it, in the midst of my tears, i literally saluted at my reflection. and then all the significant things in my life just flashed before me. when i put down my hand, i had this really determined look on my face. i was like woah eindah, is tht you?

and yeah. together with hope, ... let's salute the only things tht matter.

a very quick update

heidiho. so sorry tht i have not been updating me bloggie. it's been like two days? but guess what, i aint here to blog. im just here to give you a little update on my life. i guess? i shall go thru today and ytd in detail tmrw, along with tmrw, if u get what i mean. can?

anyhoos, abt my well-being. my appetite has been getting better, ive been eating more properly today. but tummy aches are consistent, sometimes til i feel nauseous. at least fever is gone, and headache aint as bad too, tho earlier on i felt like i almost blacked out.

today started off wrongly, but i ended the day with two amazing people by the names of siying and timothy. really bonded a lot. i shall really try my best to go thru the day in details tmrw.

so what are my plans for this week u ask? tmrw gg to the park to play! with irshad. and then there's no sch on thurs cause our princi wanna celebrate good results aper entah. but i still aint sure what im gonna do on tht day, maybe fetch shad?

k u know what? im in the mood to blog. so, lets do this while im still in the mood come on lets go.

in the morn, i woke up with a horrible tummy ache. i terbangon at 3 cause of the pain but fell back asleep, til my alarm rang at 530 but the pain was there. i didnt wanna go sch, but my mom came in and was like dont nonsense.

then my dad came in next, and , haix well things didnt turn out nice. so in the end i still got to go sch no matter how unwell i was. yeah yeah yeah i know its my fault for not telling them tht im sick . i know.

idc, they gave me taxi money but i just walked to sch. pushed myself, who knows, i might push myself soooo hard tht the ill side of me would just pop out of my body? yeah i had tht mindset earlier.

kay, reached sch around like 830. there wasnt much in sch anyway, just tht i got damn pissed over the slightest things. siying and timothy seemed to have noticed. aft sch, tim ajak gy makan so the three of us went to dte to carik makan.

decided to eat fish and co, tim lent me money cause i didnt have any. while eating, siying and i gossiped and then tim was just listening. aft tht we were like, shall we do our hw now? then we decided to go home first and then meet up again aft tht.

so went home aft eating, and my appetite was getting better alr. met back up at ws at 6.30, went to drop lib books first before meeting with tim at the entrance, waiting for siying. eons later she came and we made our way to the mac at sports complex.

otw there, we were like crossing the road, we crossed just when the car started moving. k tht part was funny.

i shall just summarize. at first we were studying, i was doing my maths, tho i did get frustrated as always. then halfway thru siying and tim ate, so while they did, i talked. then they listened. and we ended up talking abt cheese hotdogs and raspberry donuts.

hooboy, a lotta funny shit sia. my tummy ached like hell thru all the laughters. tho, it was a good laugh cause siying said ive been emoing too much lately. aww...

yeahh, i kinda regard tim as one of my best friends now. he's like damn awesome. hahahah. we should do tht again some day, maybe with irshad if he aint too busy/tired. if irshad there confirm more chaotic sia. hooboy, tht'll be damn awesome.

well, k then i am home. i cant wait to go play at the park tmrw.

o and maya hasnt texted me abt her results. i wished her luck but she didnt reply to tht, so i thought .. yeahhh, u get what i mean.

my shoulders hurt, tho idk why. so, i shall just stop here. o and another update: ive gotten my O level art question paper . haiz, gonna be so damn busy alr. i just hope ill still have time for my loved ones i.e. irshad and maya.

baby, let's call it quits while we're both ahead of time. we're playing with consequences, didnt you read between the lines?

last day with irshad before sch starts

heidiho, this... is... my... 1,400th post! excited? anyhoos, let's share the day with ya.

met up with z shady boy at mrt station. the spot where he was waiting on the day tht we got attached. i rode the circle line today! took from paya lebar to bras basah, cause tht's where i was supposed to go.

during the whole trip irshad kept asking me how im feeling and all tht. damn sweet. during the circle line trip, the stomach ache was starting again, along with the nausea. eons later, alighted at bras basah.

usually when gg the shop, i'd alight at city hall and walk to bras basah complex. but today, we saw tht bras basah is on the circle line so we decided to alight there instead. haha, pandai pandai je.

was randomly walking by the road, searching for the lib cause pearl said the place is opposite it. then shad was like, "do u rmb how the place looks like?" when i was staring at this building. turned out tht that was the place, so i was like "it looks like tht."

so yeah! tht was the place. went up to the 3rd floor and went into z Art Friend :3 tht shop is indeed a friend for us art students aint it siying?

o but the suckish thing was, the grey a2 file tht we all used for n levels were out of stock. cari macam nak rak but no luck. so i bought water colour instead, which was also on the list anyway. and i havent bought a new one in ages!

where did we go aft tht , aye we walked to funan to eat. or more like watch shad eat cause i still didnt have any appetite. bought a meal to share cause he didnt have any money anyway -_- but it's ok, sharing opened up my appetite a little and i managed to eat a few bites.

walked back to city hall mrt where we took da train back to pasir ris. he was still occasionally asking me how i was feeling. then went to guardian at ws cause he wanted to buy me minyak axe? medicted oil? yeahh , so sweet right?

walked to prp, and then it started drizzling. enjoyed it tho, but irshad says kissing in the rain would be nicer if the rain is much heavier xP walked with our hoods up, and o yeah irshad was wearing his own hoodie the whole time, i have finally returned it. heh .

some dudes was like saying assassin's creed , hehehehe. i was like o yeah! and yeah, irshad looks damn hot with hoods up sia.

anyhoos, i loved when we were sitting by the breakwaters shivering like mad. cause it was so damn cold! our hoodies were soaked some more, and the wind was like blowing. but damn, somehow the cold was kinda nice.

talked some more as always . then, we realized tht today is like the only day we have tgt, cause sch starts tmrw , for him, and we'll be seeing each other less and less . then we took pics :D



at 630, i didnt want to leave but irshad was like, imma take your water colour and run away if you dont go home! and he took my stuff and dashed away. tht part was damn sweeeeet, like so best friend-ly T___T

HAIZ, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH .

well, anyways, abt myself, i think im feeling a lil better? i've written down my progress in my little one buck notebook. yeahh .

tmrw's maya's o level results. please just remember tht you have done your best, and no matter what, dont be disappointed, because your result is your effort. like for example, you give birth to a child. no matter what, you still love him or her, no matter it's daughter or son, right?? hehehe.

love you firetrucks.

today, i shall push myself. i dont care tht im sick and i still have raging headaches and nausea, and tht my tummy aches are getting really painful. i shall not care abt any of tht.

so what are my plans for today? first, imma go for a walk. and then, im off to bras basah to buy my art stuffs from z art shoppe there. and then make my way to pasir ris, if there's still time, i'll go for another walk, maybe stop by z workplace.

then imma meet irshad at prp, walk there on my own. if i still have no appetite, then so be it. yeahh, tht'd be my plan for today .

anyhoos, i feel a lot better every morning when i wake up. but the pain always comes eventually, starting from the afternoon. and then, at night it's always the worst. haizz. idk what is the problem. but no, im still not gg to the doc's.

last nite, irshad was like: "i'm your boyfriend, i have to care abt your well being."
i find it touching tht he said tht. it's like the very first time he ever labelled himself as my boyfriend.

shall keep you updated.

a very stubborn patient.

this song is with me.

so. looks like i had the strength to get up, and i'm even on the comp right now. what happened to me ytd, you ask? come, let's go thru friday tgt first.

woke up in the morning to a very horrible stomach ache. i didnt want to move at all, or not the pain would get to me. stayed in bed til 645, when my dad came in and was like, "eindah, wake up, you're late..." so i told him abt the pain and he was like k, better not go sch.

fell back asleep til like 9 plus i think? irshad texted me, asking how i feel, cause he knew i was damn unwell the day before. told him i didnt go sch at all , he was like why so i explained the shit i felt in the morning.

i kept gg to the toilet to puke, but nth much came out. didnt really see the colour of what came out, cause i puked into the toilet bowl . but could taste the vomit in my mouth.

the night before, i dreamt tht i played the swings. so asked irshad if he could accompany me go play. surprisingly he even allowed me to, with me being nauseous and all. see, he's so damn awesome la.

but he told me to go doctor before playing swings. BUT, unfortunately the clinic was closed. soooo didnt go clinic at all.

when he was texting tht he's like otw to my place, i suddenly got damn pissed as to why he must fetch me all the time. i suddenly had this mindset of "does he think i cant walk to the swings place by myself tht he has to fetch me?"

but in the end i did allow him to fetch me. walked to prp , otw there he was like asking me why i so quiet. at tht point i got pretty irritated too, cause usually he's the one doing most of the talking whenever we're walking.

reached the swings place, it was empty apart from a few sch girls who were hogging the swings, so we sat and waited. eons later two of the swings were empty so we went, and i got super excited.

irshad kept laughing to himself on the swing , i liked tht so much. and i went higher than him! but halfway got a little nauseous. yes i played the swings when i'm sick. and then he got up and pushed me , tht was damn fun.

went to remove our shoes and played by the beach. as always, i drew in the sand with my feet, wrote E + I, and then i went to draw one side of a heart around it, hehe. then irshad drew the other side, awwww .

sad tht i didnt bring cammie! so i only used my phone to take pic.


then we went to just look at the sea aft tht, next to the heart. our shoes were also tossed next to it, so we must have looked tumblrish from afar, in my humble opinion. and i super loved it when he hugged me from behind .

sat down and talked awhile, liked it when he had his palm against my tummy. so we just sat there, with the wind blowing our hair around, under the heat of the sun, his arm around me. if only time could be stopped.

eons later went to the toilet. walked on the soft sand, i was walking in front irshad and he was behind me laughing to himself, hahahaha . cause of the sand i think. so went toilet to wash the sand off our feet and put on our shoes.

then , went to sit on breakwaters. when we were walking i kept feeling like wanna vomit, you know tht little feeling of something wanting to come out your mouth but last min retreat back into ur throat? yeah, tht suckish feeling.

lied down, and it seemed to stop tht little feeling. so i lied down most of the time, on z shady boy's lap. and i did sleep at some points too. it kinda helped. the tummy pain wasnt there when i was lying down.

irshad said we gotta go at 6. at 6:05 i was like, uh huh, 5 more mins....... and then i fell back asleep. i think he had a real difficult time wakin me up?

but eventually i did wake up on my own accord, but i was still lazy to get up, and he had to force me up. made our way out, and most of the time irshad was talking, but im so sorry. i wasnt really listening most of the time sia, my perut was hurting again.

this time i told him it's ok, he didnt have to send me up, so he didnt. and when i was back in my room, teros tidor.

didnt have any dreams, scarily. woke up around 9 i think. woke up to have tht pain tht i had when i was walking/standing/sitting. i was like, nono shit, dont tell me it wanna attack when im lying down too, when lyin down is like my only source of comfort. get it ? yeah, was so pissed.

and then i started crying. yeah, i cried a lot last night. tht's the thing la, when im very very sick, i tend to cry a lot. come on la, i aint the only one who's like tht right? to make it worse, i missed irshad so much, cause earlier on he was there when i woke up back at prp. but back in my room, he wasnt .

i seriously cried a lot sia T.T

called my younger bro , asked him for thermometer, my temp was 37.8. and then everything which was supposed to be white, was green. so i was like k confirm im havin fever as well .

irshad was texting me, but his replies were late. and then benna helped me search for replacement for my shift today, and she told me to take care. awww.

i couldnt find any comfy position to lie down in sia, which made me really cry all the more. and i was SUPER BORED , and yet i couldnt sleep, only slept this morning from like 7 i think? to 9.

irshad's like super worried. dunno, he says im never this stubborn when im sick . cause i die die didnt want go doctor, or eat smth, when he kept telling me to. and he said im like super cranky. haiz. all i can say is, thank you for worrying abt me .

trip to poly with 5/1

heeeeiiiiidiho. pretty tired right now, thought of blogging abt today tmrw, but i had some matters to settle on the comp, so i thought i may as well blog tonight.

think i shall just summarize. the main event for today was the trip to ngee ann poly with z classmates. we were all firetrucking excited when we assembled at the tower. i even managed to escape from mrs sheri, cause she was checking our attire and all tht.

we got the old bus, the one where the back of the seats are like low, you know? at some bend on the way , everyone was like chilling when suddenly there was this really weird vibration on the floor of the bus!

it freaked all of us out, i was sitting near the back with syazana, she stared at me and was like cb what the f was tht!? and the whole group at the back was like woah as well, damn cute!

jia yao was saying, right aft tht, "sekali halfway on the expressway we get stuck, like tht damn suay sia." well guess what happened -.-

yeahh, the bus stopped in the middle of the highway at one point. and, the aircon died. we were all burning, tho i liked the heat to be honest. faiz zainal was feeling so tortured sia!

when the bus started again, the aircon wasnt back, so the driver opened the doors to let the wind in. then the aircon started again, so he closed the doors again. THEN, the aircon stopped, so we all moaned and the doors were opened again.

it went on like tht til we got to the gates of ngee ann poly. everyone was like dying sia, even i was starting to feel nauseous. there was this little turning in my stomach tht made me wanna puke, yet i couldnt. when many many eons later mr rodin ong told us to go down, they all sprung up from their seats and were like, YES!!!

hmmm, aft tht what? yeah, we all went to walk around on our own aft some dude told us to gather back there at 515. first, went to sch of health sciences if i aint wrong, to take free food :3 o and we all got a free ngee ann poly tee! sweet isnt it ?

went to sch of film and media studies :3 but, sadly we couldnt go in, i also dunno why... needed a tour guide of some sort of smth like tht. so, went to sch of business and accountancy . btw i was with siying, shushan, sabrina, farizah and asleah, cause priscilla and pearl disappeared.

next, walked to sch of humanities and social sciences. splitz again at this point, went to the arts business management thingy with siying and farizah, where we bumped into this beautiful collage of a really pretty woman. if i was a man, i would have fallen in love with tht piece of canvas. i think .

reunited with sabrina, shushan and asleah, went up to the 6th floor, waited eons for the lift. sab's turn to see course tht she likes pulak, so we all waited. see, we damn sweet, we take turns gg the schs tht each and every one is interested in.

when she was done, i was like, please go somewhere right now to eat. and yay, they all agreed, so we made our way to the makan place. but, at this point of time, i started getting really nauseous.

shared ice kachang with shushan, she asked me to crush the oreo so i did, and she sprinkled the oreo bits onto the ice kachang. somehow, tht was kinda nice sia!

aft tht asleah, farizah, sabrina and siying bought pizza. for themselves, but they totally didnt have to keep rubbing the fact in mine and shushan's faces, esp asleah and siying. i got pretty pissed at one point, for just a minute.

we were supposed to assemble back at 515 , but by 520 they were still eating their pizza and were like ah, hot hot hot and i got a little irritated for a sec. and earlier on priscilla and pearl were stolen by wanxuan, so i was alr a little pissed.

anyhoos . when we were walkin back to the assembly place, everyone was like waiting for us, 5/1 and 5/2. us = asleah, farizah, pearl, sabrina, shushan, siying, timothy, rayner, yao wei, me. mrs chew was like, "are you guys okay???"

when i was like, "oh, we were eating." she was like -_________- how considerate. yeah, she really said tht.

and then we waited some time for the buses to come. 5/2's came first. 5/1's came only at like 710? we were like the last sch to be there sia, the other sec schs were like alr gone many eons before, cause the open house ended at 6.

well, at least we all managed to talk and ask more questions abt the courses, cause some of the poly students teman-ed us til our bus came. all so shweet sey. and i managed to ask questions as well, im considering mass comm and film video audio :3

k then many eons later our bus came. was waving goodbye to the poly students, when someone fell down............ i thought it was one of jia yao's gang, but it turned out to be shushan! omg, yeah i laughed like shit sia.

her foot slipped thru a gap and her whole leg went into the drain sia. luckily for her not many of our classmates saw it. but the whole of jy's gang saw, and the group of poly students. me, zharfan and faiz zainal were laughing away before gg all "shushan ok anot??"

on the bus , it was a really long journey. so i fell asleep, whats more the first few ppl sitting at the front had the two seats on their own, cause aft all our class only has like 32 ppl, so it wasnt tht crowded on the bus.

i was in a sorta-like comfy position, i was damn tired, nauseous and irritated . kept feeling like wanna puke but i didnt think much of it and eventually the feeling ceased. and i fell asleep. til shady texted, so i spent the rest of the journey texting him .

when we reached, mrs sherri was there to greet us. she apologised to us abt the delay, cause someone mixed up ngee ann and nanyang. well, then we all made our way out the gates.

was sitting at the bus stop with timothy and jonathan, when along came hafiz and nicholas. i was like O: hafiiiz ! and he was like, eindah!! i miss you sia!! and he gave me a hug, awww. talked abt our lives, havent seen him for awhile alr.

so, he's currently not in any form of education level... meaning to say, he aint schoolin. yeah ... sigh, he just had to have tht little weird opinion abt education and stuff. (tho it makes sense) then they all left soon aft.

took bus with timothy cause jon had his parents pick him up. lol i loved the convo we had abt uss. we were thinking of gg there with our matairs someday .

me: very difficult, irshad is ite. then we all have sch .
tim: weekend ?
me: very crowded. unless go real early. irshad say be there by 10 .
tim: 10? he siao ah, uss open at 11.
me: HUH!? he said be there by 10 !
tim: nooo?? it opens at 10 and closes at 6.
me: no la, it closes at 9. the other time i went, they closed at 9 .
tim: i went there 3 times, i got chased out at 6, 3 times.

hahahhaha, i laughed like shit.

reached home near to 9 , and now im like settling some important issue with z shady boy.

second day of sch !!!1

heidiho my dear firetrucks. shall we go thru my second day of sch?

second day of sch and we alr had to sing national anthem for the second time without tune. o and during flag raising i yawned, saw syazana staring at me. few secs later, she yawned and i was like laughing xD

first we had p.e., which was just the normal procedures thingy, mr rodin ong was like introducing the other teachas in da room. when he was done, jia yao was like, "then where is mr rodin ong??" his tone was funny!

and, when mr ong was telling us not to touch the stuff in the p.e. office, he was like, "you dont see the ball, take the ball and then bounce bounce bounce." jia yao's gang laughed like shit sia!! then he and rayner kept repeating tht line at the same time, irritating you know!! but funny also la.

o yeah, p.e. was in ava room with 4 other classes if i aint wrong. 2 sec 2 classes, 1 sec 3 and 1 sec 4. yeahh, all of us cramped there. 5/1 , 5/1 5/1. hehehehehehehe.

mr ong was like showing us youtube videos, he searched "PRCS pe" and the search results came on, and guess what, one of the results was a video of mine, heheheh! the 4/2's last day (30th sep 2011) :3

during ss/geog, i kept giggling at the slightest things. i laughed like shit when shushan tripped on her bag sia, omg.

aft recess was art, then it was chemistry, mrs mimi ang is not bad sia . then we had two periods of maths, it wasnt tht bad too, i like the top secret letter thingy!! xD

and then, we were dismissed ! at 2:05 ! stayed back in the canteen for awhile, then when i got home, immediately started studying right aft i showered. with my bro at first, but he was damn distracting so i went to my room . and i took some pics during a little break in between.





by the time it was like almost 8, i was sprawled all over my bed, spread out like a cat, it always feels soooo damn good to stretch all over my lovely double bed :3 esp aft a long day of studying! hehehe!

so currrently lying down with my head on sabrina's octopus, windows open right in my face. legs across my bed, comp on my tummy. shooooo comfy . there's one thing missing on this bed tho. yeah... a cat. metaphorically.

:)
-----------------------
miss chua showed us this in art just now. it looks cool .



and guess what, i know what course to go to in poly alr. hehehe! better work hard then ! ive set my targets for my Os alr. i'm gonna work really really really hard to meet them all! (x

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL !!!!!1

heidiho! i shall blog abt my first day of my last year in sch.

last night, i went to bed early but i got hungry, so i got up to cook maggi. my mom was surprisingly awake as well, and she told me to cook some for her as well, so i did. she told me to teman her iron clothes, which was such a surprise cause usually one of my bros would be the one doing tht.

we ended up talking a lot, like seriously a lot. she told me all the stories of the in-laws, my dad's siblings and all tht. damn interesting stories sia!

at abt 1 am plus, my older bro came home. mom and i were talking abt my education aft o levels at tht point,and he was walking around the kitchen when he suddenly said, "poly is better." and then he explained his opinions.

aft he was done talking, he just went back to his room, sulking. and im like, WOAH!! not just woah, or WOAH , but WOAH!! i stared at my mom, who was like, "uh huh. dengar tu, abang dah cakap macam gitu kat kau." i was like O:

then my mom told me stuff abt my bro and his gf. they were both actually impressed abt my n level points. and then she asked me again if i wanna go out with his gf. her name is esha if i aint wrong?

yeah, so the truth is, esha has been wanting to go out with me since like forever. ive been ignoring la, cause you all know how much i hate her. weell.... just thought, i think id give it a try actually. but! shady must come along. so it must be another double thingy.

texted siying in bed for awhile aft tht, before attempting to sleep again. i was successful, waking up to my alarm at 5.30. was so damn hyped up for first day of sch !!!

was supposed to meet siying but she missed her bus so i went to miss pris first. on the way to the canteen, i stared at the mirror by the bookshop and was like i shall clip up my hair. and then i just stood there tossing my clip into the air, catching it, and again and again.

in the end i didnt clip up.

united with priscilla!!! then went to parade sq where all the 5na kids were chaotic abt where to sit. found our place, and then in the midst of the chaos i went to the toilette and guess what!? i clipped up my fringe. on my own accord :3

and i didnt take it down til recess, which was at 10.20. had art aft tht, texted shad while drawing up my titles. aft tht, went to classroom to slack a little before having lunch, and then makin our way to da hall for assembly soon aft.

was boring, boring, boring, as always. o but at the end of it all, mrs woo was like walking near 5/1. i happened to look up at her, and she was like lookin at my hair, and then she smiled and nodded. hahahahahahahhaha.

aft tht, somebody from our class yelled out, "5/2, stand!" error sia, cause we're 5/1 ! funny sia, it was either wei liat or yao wei.

o speaking of yao wei, his perangai like shit sia. fucking o levels sia, still want to distract the class, like what the fuck? and sec 5 alr still wanna show dog attitude to a home tutor, a new one in this sch some more, what the fuck sia yao wei. perangai seriously, yeah jubo babi. to be honest.

but physics was good la, everyone was paying attention. our teacha is mr collins. he teaches quite the fast tho . for slow ppl like me, it was quite difficult to catch up. most of our teachas changed, cept for da languages and elective, which were mr syafie/ms adimah, cikgu fatimah and miss christina.

o yeah, during art. when miss chua saw siying, she was like, "eh why you copy my hair!?" her tone was funny like firetruck sia, i laughed like shit.

o and during physics! mr collins kept saying our class name whenevr he wanted our attention. siying, who sits next to me, and i, we both still cant believe the fact tht we are sec 5s. kept getting high whenever "5/1, listen to me 5/1." was said, right siying!? heheh!

5/1. wow, i'm a sec 5 . an o level student sia.

aft sch, took bus with sabrina, siying and timothy. they alighted at dte, and i went home straight. then blah3, aft tht, imma write in my diary abt the time aft tht, bcos i hafta shut down comp now *wink wink*

thank you for wanting to read abt my crappy first day of sch. love you firetrucks :*

shopping with dad and bruh!

heidiho my firetrucks! hmmm. we shall make this a really quick post, wouldnt wanna drag cause ive sch tmrw. yes, the new sch year starts in uhm a few hours.

so well anyways. today, i went to tamp with my father and naz. first went to zinc cause ive been pestering my dad to get me a bag with my bursary money. while i was browsing, the dude who works there kept following me, annoying sia.

well but he was a great help. i got a brand new bag from zinc, like finally! now yueting's bag can take a rest .

went to converse aft tht, cause my dad insisted on buying me new sch shoes. i didnt want to since my current pair are still good. and the price of the shoes at converse makes me all the more not wanting to get new shoes sia!

made our way to bata where there were converse shoes as well, cheaper. so we got tht, my size is a little shaky tho. whats more with one foot being a little bigger than the other, so troublesome you know.

aft tht we went to the area behind the mrt station cause we wanted to go giant. we didnt know if there was the bus service of not, cause my dad so blurblock. decided to take 27, but there wasnt any at tamp inter, so we took 81 with the intention of changing to 58 halfway.

just as the bus left inter, we saw a bus stop tht had 27 -_- so we alighted at the next stop, thinking there was 27 there. turned out there wasnt, and we walked back all da way to the previous bus stop, so irritating sia hahah!

and guess what, when we were on the 27, we saw the shuttle bus coming out of tamp -_________________________-

well anyhoos, went giant to get spoons. first got socks for me, cause i always get my socks from there. this time i got white for sch, orange for EK and pink to match with my shoes (x then spent some eons getting baju basahan (idk how spell) for my bruh.

didnt buy any food items tho , o well. went to courts aft tht, to get myself a fan, since the one in my room spoilt. while dad was paying, went off to see cameras. i soo want a dslr tht can record!!! mommy says she's getting me one, but where on earth is it, i dunno.

took shuttle bus back home, and guess what? we went to giant to get spoons, tht was the main intention. but we forgot to get those! only realised when we were home alr. sooo silly.

and yeah.. i am home now. i needa sleep early tonight, by 10. cause imma be waking up at 530 tmrw =_________= wont be able to text shady in da morn cause he's probably sleeping when im otw to sch. o well.

so, should i walk to sch tmrw? it's been a while since i did tht. well, see my laziness la. and, imma clip up my hair ....................... i guess.

so. this year, i am an O level student. i better buck up and stop doing the shit i did last year, like sleeping in class and runnin away from maths periods. and not to forget getting suspended from class just cause of my hair. yeah, better stop all tht.

tmrw is school ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
o eindah, you are a O level student eindah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and you too ah, siying. you better buck up too. o yeah hopefully you'll be seated near me again sia. and guess what? since there's like lesser ppl in class this year, the rows wont be so crampy anymore, unlike last year's.

i hope yao wei and jia yao wont be distractions anymore, i saw their names on the class list. and hopefully we'll do a great job for cheering comp again. i'd like to do another encore , heheheh.

i dont know of any classes from the sec 4s tht are as bonded as us when we were 4/2, to be honest. even if bonded, they're not so enthu. hm, just saying.

k, k. goodbye my firetrucks, love you all (x or more like love you three since i know only siying, irshad and maya read my bloggie.

quoted from my tumblr :

im not going to say goodbye to 2011. it stays with me, so, i dont have to wish it away. it stays with me in the form of a memory, and a lesson. everything tht’s happened in the past year , happened for their own reasons. even the bad memories led to beautiful moments eventually. 2011 was the year i truly knew the meaning of “good things come to those who wait”, and, really: patience truly is a virtue. it’s one of the most important lessons i’ve learnt in the year.

and now, i shall start the new year. happy new year everyone.

i really needa pee right now.

pictures of 2011 !

heidiho! i just came out from da shower. but i still rmb last night's dream! hmmm, not in exact order tho. just random segments.

first, i was listening to a story from one of my colleagues. i cant say any names, but she's the one who has a butch as a boyfriend. she was telling us tht she and her boyfriend were gg around announcing tht they were tgt.

at first they wanted to keep it low, but they decided to announce it to the whole world tht they are madly in love with each other, and not caring abt what they would be thought of. aint tht sweet?

another part, was at this water park thingy at simei. i was on an mrt with maya, and i heard the announcer saying simei, then we alighted there. the water park placey looks so damn gerek from the mrt's view sia!

i rmb running around in buoys , with maya doing the same. cant rmb what i was wearing tho, but i know i had no sleeves. then, we bumped into this place tht had blueberries.

maya was like, "omg!" then she started picking some. and then i moved some of the floorboards away, and we next discovered raspberries. we were gg crazy there, we spent eons just picking up the berries and eating them (x

when we were outside, i kept buying sweets. it was smth like tamp mall pulak. kept gg the mini toons to get myself some sweets. when i met up with my mom, i wanted some cookies pulak. told her to get some for me but she said no.

and thru out the dream aft tht, i was just sulking.

and yeah, tht's it. and guess what? 2011 is over. so, let's put pics of 2011 :3











oh, the memories of bali. :3





aww i love my family.









and yeah, tht's it i guess? hehe!

stationary shopping!

heidiho! i went to nex today. with my parents and bruh. to get sch stuff :3 weeell, first we ate pizza hut, aft eating we slacked there first to chit chat, and i laughed like shit listening to the stories abt my family!

then, went to popular. i led the way, as always, since im the one who's been there the most i think? well yeah, and surprisingly it wasnt tht crowded in popular.

i brought my little pink notebook, the really small one, the one buck one. it fits in my pocket you know!! yeah so well i brought tht, since i have my little list of things to buy in it. only had 5 objects on da list.

well i got all of mine real quickly. except the last item, which is notebook! spent eons at the notebooks section, staring and just staring and occasionally flipping thru the random ones with nice covers. i tell ya, i love notebooks ok.

dunno why my bro had so much stuff to buy sia. he wasnt done eons aft i was. so i went around to stare at the o level books. suddenly i got so damn surprised with the fact tht i am an o level student now. feels so much like a dream.

eons later my bro was done, but only with his stationery =.= he wanted me to help him pick out psle books. damn proud, cause before this, he was always sulking whenever i pester him to get psle stuff, cause "adek baru P5 per".

there were psle ten year series sia, but there werent any signs of o levels' when i searched. so anyways. got him maths and science since he's like so damn weak in both of them. i will discipline the shit out of him, i assure you. i want my lil bro to go to a good sch ok.

went to pay, and you know what? my bro's bill was like, 80 something. guess how much is mine? mine's just 27! awesome right? tsk tsk tsk, lil bro lil bro.

anyhoos, then what? walked around some more, wanted to get myself a bag but there weren't any zincs. weeell, hopefully tmrw can, i really wanna get myself a new bag. yueting's black bag is breaking apart alr .

went ntuc aft tht cause my older bro asked us to get him some stuff. sneaked some kbw into the trolley when my father wasnt looking, he only noticed them when we were paying, and was like =__________________=

o and i love to sit on the trolley and make my younger bro push it around with me on it. childish and eyesore and a nuisance, i know, but hey. it's fun.

met up with my mommy, she splitz from us earlier cause she wanted to buy smth keper. she bought me socks!!! my current ones have holes in them, yes both of them. was so damn happy sia :3

walked to some bus stop. we bought a lot of stuff and i insisted on carrying some of the plastic bags, altho halfway my back did made some noise. but o well. it's alrighty, really.

we took 58, it was a long journey and i fell asleep listening to some trivium. when i woke up, suddenly missed everyone. like, the girls from cliquey, and cousies, and boyfriend. dunno why i always miss ppl out of the blue nowadays.

anyhoos, i am home now. so....... what did i buy you ask? i bought, a B2P pen, a pack of post its, my sec 5 maths tb, a maths o levels book (yes, i will do it) , and a b5 size notebook. damn, cant wait for the new sch year to start .

lookin forward to the 3rd, not only cause of sch. but also cause of aft sch. yeah .... altho i fear many shit, i still look forward to it. and i've been dreaming abt it a lot these days. weeeell. see how it goes.

a poem, for the most beautiful woman on earth.

you did him wrong before her eyes
she just wanted him to know your lies.
in the wrong way, you reconciled
and tht was the beginning of her silent cries

she awaits your embrace
but instead, she goes thru so much pain.
each time she tries to run away
she rounds up, back to your place.

she blames herself, in her fear.
she tells me everything in between tears
little droplets tht were indeed hers
so beautiful, so sincere.

so why do you not bring forth your love?
she prays for a miracle from above
when, all along, you are the answer
because you are right here, next to her
please.... bring forth the love.

yes, like most nights, i am sleepless. and this here's a poem i wrote earlier on in the evening. if you know what it's tryna say, thanks. if you dont, then thanks as well, for reading. it's called Bring Forth the Love.

weeeeeeeeeell. yes i am sleepless. o ive said tht alr. irshad's awake as well, surprisingly. ive never been awake with him til this time. o, and later on imma be gg out to catch z first sunrise of 2012. if i dont feel lazy abt it .

i've been listening to TFT for some hours now. hmmm...... shady's in da toilette now. and i feel lazy to see sunrise alr, heh. if only someone, anyone, goes with me.

happy new year everyone. it's 2012.

heidiho. just got home from a little solitary escapade. was with my fam at some points in time tho. shall we go thru the day first?

in da morn, had to fry some nuggets for my bros cause they were craving. the idiots pounced on me the moment i woke up sia, i went out the door and they straightway was like "eindah(older)/kak(younger) gorengkan nuggets!!!!" and im like =__________________=

ignored them and straightway went to shower. younger bro knocked on da door and kept saying "kaaaak. abang dengan adek nak makan nuggets....!" annoying.

so, aft i walked a little around my room with no pants on, went out to the kitchy again and fried their nuggets. they were damn happy like monkeys sia, i tell ya. they're lucky tht there were nuggets when they were craving.

eons later, went down to wait for irshad. saw cik jafaar (the town council from our block) and his wifey. had a little chat before z shady appeared, and then we made our way to ws to meet with the faris for a little talk.

bought mcflurry(shad) and strawberry milkshake(me) and then walked around while waiting. shad said tht faris said at 2. but at 230, still no sign of the sucker. then suddenly irshad was like, "want prawns?" and then he bought us some ock :3

but still pissed tht the sucker didnt show.

slacked at home aft tht. a certain MKI suddenly texted , asking whether i made it to sec 5 or not.... and then he's all like study hard. so you get the course you want. and im like,



it's damn irritating when i feel sleepy, damn sleepy but when im tryna sleep, i cant. get it? firetrucking annoying you know. tossed and turned on the sofa. kept thinking abt some shit which i am so not supposed to think of.

so woke up, and then i tried to fix my bedroom fan. i saw the problem, but i was unable to fix it. o well. so maybe imma be sleeping in my parents room tonight, or in foetus position. kesian aku.

at nite, decided to go out. ate asli village with my parents and younger bro. older one was with bloody friends, as always. o well. back at elias mall, they disappeared for a while, and i spent my last few minutes of 2011 sitting on the kerb of the sidewalk, alone.

some eons later, stood up and just made my way home.



2011 was a great year tho. first, i was in the awesome class of 4/2. next, i met amazing people at the workplace of explorer kid. lastly, i stopped denying tht i am in love with my crush of 2 years, who is finally my boyfriend. heheheh.

but still, i dislike the new year. idk why, but i dislike it. i just do. hopefully no one wishes me. i've alr put a warning on facebook.

well. imma sleep right now, i guess? or should i wait for irshad? nah.... he's probably enjoying himself right now, wouldnt really notice if im asleep alr or not. yeah, i'm being an attitude douche now. tak cukup tidur.

the new year doesnt really matter shit to me anyways. i wish ppl treat new days as special as they treat the new years. cause to me, 1st jan is just the same as another brand new day. so, i treat it the same as other days which i wake up to. if you get what i mean.

notice anything different abt bloggie?

bursary !

so today, i was in my uniform all day. first was to sch to get my freaking application form for sec 5. waited some eons cause some ppl were talking to mr ng. blah3, finally he saw me and gestured for me to go over.

and then he passed me z application form! filled it up really quick before passing it to the office staff and makin my way back to bus stop. went to mac's, met up with my lil bruh. while eating, irritated the shit out of him, as always.

then went home, cause he still needa put on his uniform. then daddy came home, so we all just siap siap and made our way to bus stop and then to paya lebar mrt station.

ok ah, i still remembered the place, cause ive been there once last year. so i led the way, which always makes me happy. found the place, so many balloons sia!!! then registered, and then we stood around eating the little snacks before making our way into the auditorium.

when my bro went on stage, his face seriously like one nerd sia. i was like, pffffffttttt in my seat, the girls on both my sides were like O_________O

then, when it was my turn on stage pulak, i saw my dad's face in the audience, also like one nerd. i grinned my way onto and off the stage sia! which was good la, or not i would have just looked like one freaking grinch.

o yeah, the bloody presenter was the same as last year's. tak tau cakap nama melayu. irritating firetruck sia, serious. i dont like when ppl pronounce my name wrongly, esp if they are saying my full name, with the nadhirah and my dad's name.

well anyways, aft tht, during the little buffet, i ate a lot. played with the balloons, so damn geram sia!! wanted to bring home, but my dad was like NO . T.T o and i loved the cream puffs! aahhh. how i love cream puffs.

met up with mommy aft tht. ate waffles at the waffle factory, talked abt our workplaces while eating. my parents are damn lively ppl, they add so much colour to their respective workplaces, hopefully i can be like them in da future!

took da train back to pasir ris, and then blah3 , played with kuskus a little while before makin our way home. and then yeah, i am home.

so tmrw, faris wanna have a little talk with irshad and i. i dunno for what also, i thought i alr pwned z SK? still unhappy isit? tiffany conceicao fb chatted me up, she was like, "why is shahirah so irritating?" heheheh.

she sez tht SK is just using faris to make irshad jealous. weeeell, i dont think it's working ?

anyhoos. hopefully i dont do anything stupid during da talk tmrw. i hope i dont raise my voice or do some physical assault or smth. dont wanna get punished, shady sez he'll make me stand far away from them if i do smth stupid T.T



i kinda like this pic, haha.
my daddy and i . (':

and this:



dont you just love smosh? i love smosh. ok, goodbye! i shall think of a word to represent goodbye like how heidiho is hello.

some random shoot.

i like orange. it's the colour of my work uniform. then, i wonder why do i never like the colour yellow, when it's the uniform of my sch? or, isit the colour of the uniform of my sch, tht's why i dont like it?

anyhoos, i am here again, as you can see. hope you dont get tired of my face. i wanna blog to share some random funny shit between maya and i which happened, tht i forgot to blog abt .

on da day tht i fell asleep aft i came back from MUB : i woke up to see maya sweeping the floor at my feet. i stared at her. she stared at me. then i realized tht i had drool all over my chin. i wiped on my hand and was like, shoved my hand towards her direction .

she looked at me like =_________= and was like,



tht woke me up, i laughed like shit sia!

and yeah, tht's it for now. december is ending soon, imma post pics of 2011 very soon. and holy firetruck! i needa get started on L2G . like, asap. o btw, i still cant go to sec 5 tho ive finished make up bridging, cause i stupidly forgot to pick up my application form.

sooo most probs hafta pop by sch tmrw to take it. dammit, i lazy wear uni sia! and lazy to listen to his lectures as well. and ive got some ceremony thingy tmrw. lazy go sia.

i still rmb, when i was still with z MKI. there was tht one morning when i got so damn pissed at him and started throwing tables around in 4/2 classroom. the twins were outside the classroom when i went out, banging the door and stuff.

later on in tht day, was walking to mt classroom when the twins were walking in my direction. irfan was like, "what was wrong with you, angry or what? bang here bang there." i just smiled and walked away without saying anything.

but actually, when he asked tht, i wanted to throw myself onto their arms and cry to them everything abt how mki was treating me. i really felt tht. but during then, i was so hell bent on being in 'love' with him, tht i just held in tht little feeling of wanting solace in the twins' arms.

little confessions. just little confessions.

syazana once asked me, "why do you like irshad and not irfan?"
my answer is, i just dont feel the same for him? irshad's the one who makes me really happy when i'm with him. ive never had tht feeling for irfan before la. simple.

and then timothy asked me, "how do you tell them apart?"
my answer is, i can tell by their voices i guess? but mostly is the level of attraction. idk, like, i feel more chemistry/attraction for irshad than irfan, when i look at the faces.

hmm..... anymore questions? kk, should stop blogging alr i guess.

heidiho! dont you love my new skin? glad tht ive not lost the touch of making blogskins. i dont use photoshop to make my skins tho, i just type out/edit the freaking codes.

well anyways. today is thursday. a boring thursday, til siying texted me, forwarding our meeting from 3.30 to 3. so, i rushed like firetruck, which made the afternoon much more less boring. but, i still ended up meeting her at 3.30, cause my rush wasnt quick enough.

we had sarpino's, we both had the double pepperoni. siying paid for it while i paid for our drinks from cup walker's. while eating, caught up on each other's lives. today is gonna be her last day of working!!! and timothy's, cause "the manager is like crap".

went to central and slacked at sns , waiting for asleah and timothy, cause they were working too. played with the little kitty , whom ive not seen for a really long time cause i barely pass by. then met up with the other 2 ppl.

we all chatted while they ate their food. and, as always, laughed. was telling them abt SK, then asleah was like, "sigh. normal tech." then i was like, "eh irshad pandai ok!" i liked her expression when she said, "i didnt even say anything!"

yeah, laughed a lot with them too. i like the combo of siying-asleah-timothy and me, as well :3 like so fun la. altho i am the odd one out cause im the only one from EK.

walked to bus stop, saw their 12 , asleah was like running for it while the three of us were like chillax. they missed the bus -_- so, sempat ambek gambar.



we all kept pestering asleah to get a boyfriend, just so we could go on a triple date. siying was just telling me, back at sarpino, tht one of the dudes from MFM wanna confess to her tonight at their chalet, and tht siying and tim are like helping him.

me: go get a boyfriend la! so we can triple date. or go get a random guy.
asleah: O.O !!!!

slip of the tongue sia, i meant to say, get a random guy friend. the three of them were so shocked when i said tht ! talked abt many random shit, they're all so awesome. then many eons later, my bus came, and so did theirs, trailing behind mine.

nobody was home, as always. damn saddening. o well.

i am way behind schedule for Letting 2011 Go sia! deadline was ytd, but i extended it to day aft tomorrow. if i dont do anything abt it now, imma have to extend it til next year sia, which is so not nice.

i snapped, i replied one of SK's tweets. she keep calling my shady jerk and asshole, and kept calling me bitch T.T all along, ive kept quiet, but when i finally said smth, there she goes, runnin away. so damn penakot.

anyhoos, like my new skin? and where is z shady boy?

walking around with z twins .

i forgot to intro you guys this song. it's a christmas song from TFT, but it's not talking abt santa or jesus or whatever christian stuff (i have no christian readers), instead, this song is abt wanting heat during the cold winter tht christmas time comes in, and this warmth comes in the form of a loved one. imho la. shall analyse this song one day.

anyhoos! heidiho everyone. now all of you are firetrucks! not lans anymore.
how was my day you ask? let's go!

today was my last day of make up bridging!!! i was the first one to reach today. syazana bought me a bun, sho shweet T.T guess what, we all fell asleep from 830 to like 930 today. and when i woke up, i had a horrible tummy pain.

i love my tummy, so i went to the toilette . why must the npcc peeps be havin their stuff right outside the girls toilet, dammit.

syafie kept passing by today, he threw away my can of chrysanthemum tea and rummaged thru my bag sia, how rude! cause i'm a girl, he doesnt have the rights to bongkar my belongings like tht, am i correct?

well, slept a lot today actually. then some time later went for a little breakie with syazana. told each other ghost stories, told her abt ahboy. then made our way back, seeing the class list and the sec 1 list, as always.

saw a dude with a really cool name. then syazana was like, wanted to say, "eh he's malay!" but then realized tht the M stood for male. should have seen her reaction! i laughed like shit. then, in the midst of my laughters, saw another thing tht made me laugh more.

but damn busted, cause it's like making fun of ppl's name. but syazana just had to make it funnier sia!!! [inside joke inside joke]

omg, i laughed a lot with syazana sia, not only today but the 4 days of make up bridging . fyi, she's actually my childhood friend. for 13 years? think so. all i can say is ive known her since at least kindergarten days.

she wrote me a really sweet note. sad tht i dont have anything for her. will try to hang out with her some days when sch reopens!

went home to have a nice shower, before gg to ws to meet up with z shady boy and his twin. and guess what, i wasnt wearing hoodie! didnt bring any either. arent you all proud of me? anyway, we were planning to go shopping at bugis :3

alighted at bugis but we went to this place called sunshine plaza first. walked around damn a lot of rounds before finding the shop tht they were looking for. then, went to withdraw money at a posb machine. irshad dashed for it when it was empty, and irfan was just like chill. so silly, heh.

then went back to the shop before gg to hunt for chemicals. shared my kbw, then aft tht as always irshad suggested mac's so tht was what we got. walked to funan for the maccy d there, he mistakenly ordered just a mcspicy.

talked while eating, then in the midst there was suddenly this really long silence. everyone was focusing on their food, so cute. and i liked when shady suddenly sang "if you're sexy and you know it, do the wiggle." i laughed like shit sia.

then laughed a lot also, over the slightest little things. then made our way to, where did we go aft tht? o yeah, penin. walked around, visited the shops tht i visited with maya on saturday. i heard tht they were looking for shoes.

walked around a lot, but we didnt go MOC, o well. not getting anything anyway .

we passed by the shop where the chairs were short, i kept remembering the time with maya and i couldnt help smiling to myself! then we went to the building next to penin, and there was a memory too, so i couldnt help it, i kept giggling to myself ! none of the twins saw i think.

then we walked to bugis, i led the way but they didnt seem to believe me when i said tht bugis was on the left instead of the right. walked around inside, and they were like saying why the hell is everything girl's stuff.

weeeell, all i can say is, they should have asked me shit, cause i always go to bugis, i know where the stuff is... but they didnt, so nvm. then went to the other side, and walked around some more.

you know aye, during the whole outing, the three of us kept tripping each other. as in, send the person flying but didnt really fall down la. yeah, irshad used to do tht to me when we were still just friends, back in early 2010. he was the one who taught me tht trick :3

damn fun ah, i liked when we kept tripping each other just now (x at one time i tripped shady, then irfan was like xD i liked when we are like tht, like so best friend-ly T.T

well anyway, we took 12 from bugis street. irfan was like walking to the wrong bus stop, so i was like, "no it's from the bus stop opposite." they were like, "are you sure?" and i'm like, "yeah la! trust me la, once in a while i lead the way!" T.T

k so we had a long journey. irshad fell asleep on my shoulder, he was having headache. i was pretty sleepy as well, but i decided to stay awake to have the little feeling of being the protector. got a little restless tho.

irfan alighted at central and went home first cause irshad was to send me home. alighted at dte with the intention of walking thru the park. but aft his call, he got silent, and i actually felt quite scared. was too afraid to say anything at all.

well, walked thru da park in silence. many eons later reached my place, kissed goodbye and then when i saw tht the house was damn silent, decided to go back down for awhile. blah3, i am home.

had a lot fun walking around and bonding with z twins. been a while since it was the 3 of us, the last time was like on the 21st of sept at prp, which was damn fun too. they piggy backed me, i rmb tht so clearly, heheh!