went to downtown east to go to the annual cosplay festival (tht should be what CosFest stands for right?) with siying , timothy and syafiq . for once i was the one waiting for siying, and im proud of tht. waited a long time too!
texted syafiq to find out his whereabouts, and we got it but we didnt get him. timothy came before we found syafiq , and we were all asking each other "where is he sia ???" when i saw him strolling right behind timothy.
so, yeah, took as many pics as possible, siying was gg crazy cos there were so many ppl cosplaying her vocaloid twins.
i dont watch alot of the popular anime anymore, so i didnt see alot of cosplayers whom i recognized. these are just Some of the few tht i did. enma ai sia!
but guess what !? i saw a group of ppl cosplaying dynasty warriors sia! and one of them was wang yuanji ! i was like, "omg omg omg take take take! take the blue one!" and then i turned into jakonist fangirl mode.
abt some time later took a break and went ehub with siying , bought old chang kee and went to the 5th floor to slack while eating. there was a giant moth whose picture i tried to take, but as always my hand was shivering and most of the pics were blur until i eventually got one.
went back to d'marquee, where siying went crazy running around taking pics again. the dynasty warriors were still there, and i kept gg back to the area tht they were hanging around at.
wang yuanji has a nice back view.
went in the dome to slack at one corner with timothy and two of his friends, one of whom was cosplaying some naruto character whose name i have forgotten. everyone was gathering around him when he was asleep, cos yeah, he looked so cute.
hm, some time later, went out again and i finally took a picture with wang yuanji !
the biggest joy of cosplay is when u meet ur fave character and pretend tht it's really the person whom u admire so much in a video game.
walked around some more to see the sun shining down on the lawn in front of the dome. siying really took alot of pics , so much more than the videos i took.
just Before the event ended, stood there camwhoring with siying and timothy before gg fish and co to eat.
oh, syafiq went home early.
chit chatted alot at fish and co , and then walked to ws , said bye to siying at bus no. 12, took 358 with tim and then blah3 i am home.
today's viary!
last night's dream was situated in another country again , and i think it was malaysia as well. i was in a hotel where the number 110 was a blessing . i cant rmb what room we got, but there were little shops by the lobby and shop number 110 had a lot of people.
at one point i was following my grandma around the little shops , when she said tht she wanted to go back to her hotel room. i went inside this sort of train station, thinking tht it would bring us back to the hotel rooms.
it turned out, it was a train , but a bus. i cant describe it. this bus went on all the way back to singapore, and i rmb sitting right at the back of the upper deck, and facing out the little window at the back . i recall tht the bus was on the highway .
u will never know how high i felt at tht point in time.
there were some other girls on the bus, other than me and my grandma, and those girls were in my way when i wanted to get down from tht seat. i remember pushing them off just When i saw a large black cat , sort of like tiger sized , out the window. tht picture is still very very clear in my mind right now. its outline against the sky .... so beautiful .
at another point i saw a tiger among the grass by the roadside , and aft the bus passed tht , it passed a tourist who just Fainted when we went past her . i rmb thinking to myself tht i wanted to get off and help her, cos of the tiger.
idk , a moment later my grandma and i got off at a bus stop tht resembled kallang mrt station. we went to its toilet, where i bumped into hafiz azhar and asleah . (uhm, the toilet was unisex.) hafiz was saying, "you know aye, if u were a nigga you would be smoking with me right now."
my grandma and i went thru the gantries and searched for the counter tht would sell us tickets to get back to the hotel tht we were at. but unfortunately, none of them did. it turned out tht tht wasnt the right stop to have had alighted at .
i got really frustrated and started to loiter , just Loiter around the mrt station, and then suddenly i was awake.
Friday, June 24, 2011
aw i spent the evening with my khai again ((: was kind of upset tht we canceled at first cos shan was too late. but in the end still met up! i walked to our usual place in my n-o-r-m-a-l speed. if u rmb what it is.
khai scared the shit out of me when he tapped my shoulder , and i actually jumped. and then as always stood there in the sun, talking and laughing over random stuff . today i didnt sit there though, i also dk why.
me: why can't we go to sch rooftops in singapore? him: bcos they are scared tht ppl like you go up there and daydream.
ok tht really made me laugh! i still smile in remembrance. he made me laugh alot, i just Cant seem to rmb reasons. i jakonist with his DSLR , and at one point had to crawl under cos i dropped his lens cover thingy .
the sun was in our faces , to my joy but not to his.
and when we parted, he kissed my forehead as promised. made my day!
aw ... he's my khai. ♥
wanna see something !? i never knew tht if my curtains were drawn apart at a certain distance at a certain time, i would see this. yes, it fascinates me. and idk why i've not seen it before.
it stretches all the way to the other end of my room! this was taken with khai's cammie, when i was still in bed. i keep it at my bedside . aw...
one of my overseas friends, raz badiyan (the aussie) just Told me tht she's covering TFT's "pages" on violin. i cant wait for tht alr. she's gonna be uploading more violin covers onto her channel, so the least i could do is give her my support (:
for one second i was ice skating and then BAM ! it was the end of the world.
alrighty, i was on a trip last night. in my dreams. went to some other country , should be malaysia (though it didnt look like it) cos i was staying in my second cousin's house, and i know she lives in KL. her name's maizurah; daughter of my mom's cousin. thus, she my second cousin.
i rmb standing in fronta a mirror, texting someone whom i cant rmb alr. said smth like, "shit, i'll be sleeping alone tonight."
and then suddenly i was tying on shoelaces of an ice skating shoe. i was sad at the time if i aint wrong, and it was quite late at night uh. the sky was dark and the skating rink didnt have alot of people. i skated for quite some time, and my dream self was seriously thinking alot.
some time later mai came running to me and was like, "eindah where were you !? we've been looking all over for you!" i dont rmb answering, but she pulled me to this restaurant where she queued up cos she wanted order food i think .
there was a sort of aquarium next door, i wondered off and went to see the fishes in the tank. i rmb thinking abt how sad the fishes look .
mai had her eye on me the whole time (i rmb tht the wall between the aquarium and restaurant was a glass wall) , and then came along my mom, who distracted her by talking to her. i walked out of the aquarium and saw a baby shark on the floor.
alrighty, aft tht i dont rmb much.
soon aft, i was watching tv in some room tht resembled my living room. i rmb tht no matter what channel i switched to, it was all showing stuff like ppl dying over tsunamis and stuff. most of the disasters were related to water. i rmb tht very clearly.
the thing tht i recall the most is the one abt this giant shark species tht were killing some tourists tht were underwater. i cant rmb why they were, i think it was some sort of tour thing. i cant describe the way tht those fish called the humans. it's indescribable... like i said, only the dreamer will know the real fear of her nightmare.
i woke up at 6, immediately texting khai aft realizing tht i was alr in my own room. the sounds of the ppl screaming could still be heard and i was kinda traumatized -.- i know tht it was just A dream and tht i shouldnt take it seriously. but still ...
getting a little heavy-eyed right now. khai's at npcc anyways, so... nights!
Thursday, June 23, 2011
strange dream. it's all flashing in my mind but i cant put it in words. i cant find the right words. i might be able to , later on though. oh well. so imma be posting some random pics in here right now. there's nothing else occupying me. i'm done with the PS3 for the afternoon.
no matter what the situation, just Jump. even if it's off a cliff, God will teach you how to fly.
[only the second pic is taken with a DSLR. the rest is with phones.]
i've become obsessed with dynasty warriors lately. wang yuanji from jin 's my favourite :D
it's fun playing as her , she's awesome! and i love all her attacks :D she's one strong character , always taking on the big bosses on her own , all at once xD (ahem, actually who's the one who is controlling her ah?)
"heart 2 heart" talk with khai , and advice to natalee .
talk abt an amazing after-midnight session :D bonded with two awesome sec threes. ♥
i dont have pics of me and khai yet ):
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
sup homies . i dont even know what tht means.
alright, went down to mac's with shushan and siying for awhile to get started on the CME project tht ms junainah gave to us a second before the last bell of the semester rang. ate first of cos, upsizing just Bcos i wanted the purple cup, and oil splashing from mcspicy to shan's arm.
and then blah3, transferred to another table cos it had more SPACE .
i never knew tht the bin HAD tht on it! went to the second floor of the CC awhile, to camwhore, cos cme projects aint as interesting.
both guys and girls like to camwhore in toilets aye.
came over to my house, thought of continuing the damn project, but they ended up reading comics on my bed, while i was playing with my khai's cammie. (still being very jakonist over it) got pretty pissed at han botak , cos he seriously likes all of my posts.
occasionally filmed them, disturbed them , and then blah3, shushan left. siying decided to stay til she was done with the comic tht she was reading , which wasnt until 5 PM. and then she went off ): and then i was alone, cos nazriq was asleep and khai was at npcc .
here's today's viary!
Monday, June 20, 2011
kind of awoke at 4 am this morning. tried to go back to sleep, but the dream tht i had wouldnt stop flashing in my mind. decided to listen to some music for awhile, before turning on the comp after 2 hours of a shuffled playlist.
around 7 i started getting this wanna-vomit-for-no-reason feeling. fell asleep in the midst of texting khai , and then awoke to 24 new messages (actually it's just Two). then blah3 , oh yeah! come, i share u my dream.
ok, i was in another country. very beachy and all tht, and i was kinda walking by the shops by the beach... and then i saw tft. either i saw them or i was with them all along lah, cant rmb. they were talking abt christopher having a girlfriend, and then maika was saying tht i was jealous -.-
k, tht's all i want share. awesome ppl get lazy too u know.
sat on bed all morning, texting my khai and doing all those normal lazy-to-get-outta-bed stuff.. i even found time to play with the cammie tht he lent me.
alright, was like chatting with khai on msn when my mom announced tht she wanted to go to tamp. once she said tht i told myself tht i needa use the opportunity to get her to buy me cookies, so i decided to tag along.
aft eating i regretted, bcos she wanted to get her hair and eyebrows done, which meant tht i either had to sit at the shop waiting for her, walk around on my own, or get mine done too. of course the last option was definitely out, and the other two were kinda time-wasting, so i decided to go home. took 3, and listened to music on the long journey.
gosh, ppl have to learn to give way .
and tht's it for today i guess. oh btw, there was a cute pair of twins at famous amos! one made my cookies and one attended to me. haha :D
hey guys, i just Created a tumblr, due to my boredom. i'll be using my tumblr for all the Wrister the Philosopher? stuff, so be sure to drop by there if u wanna , uhm, improve ur views on life. what will my ughyouulan be used for? uhm, imma use it to write my daily stuff i guess. let's re-enact 2008!
from tmrw onwards, i'll be writing in the stuff tht happened to me on tht day. i'll be posting pictures, feelings, and all tht reminiscence stuff. hope u enjoy! maybe i shall start today. yeah, ok. ok bye for this post xD
yeah, so u heard tht i'd be writing abt this song.
this is just Something like an analysis of the song , where i share all the meanings tht i think the song is tryna give. but this one is for tht someone tht i am with :D so.. yeah.
It's 3 in the morning
yeah, cos i stead-ed with tht someone at around 3 am. (:
and I'm still not sleeping Cause I'm finally running your race The mountains you've been climbing seem like they have steepened Since I decided to pick up the pace
it probably means, something tht u've been waiting for so long has finally happened. things seem to be getting more difficult because now u are rushing, cos u so excited.
If the whole world told me I should disappear Could I fall right next to you?
cos there was one time when u were telling me tht everyone was leaving you and tht i was the only person u had left, and tht i was ur last best friend left. so u needed me.
Just let me burn the night away Oh, baby let me burn the night away By thinking of the simple things you say to me That get me through the day
yeah, cos u were starting to like me. so whatever little convo we had kept u happy. cos it reminded u tht there's still someone who's there for u. right? tht's why u could still, uh, be happy. i guess O.O idk how to say in words.
You keep me wide awake
ur status said tht i was the first person to ever kept u awake (:
So don't look back, the hourglass is runnin' empty You've got me buried with your every move Your fine lines have me at a loss of memory I'm right beside you in an empty room
this whole verse, idk. as in, idk what link it has with you. oh, maybe cos u find the way i look very interesting. i think tht's what u said before. and u once said tht i got 'wow body' xD
And it's so hard to catch your feelings When you always run away
yeah, u once told me tht u find it difficult to understand me, cos u thought tht i wasnt allowing you to.
Oh, the whole world told me I should disappear 'Cause I'm falling in love with you
u once said tht i am a very awesome person and tht many guys will feel like they aint good enough for me. maybe tht's why u didnt dare tell me tht u liked me. cos u were afraid of being discriminated by other ppl.
yeah, tht's all.
sorry if i've gotten anything wrong though.
ok, since i rmb alot of last night's dream, i thought i might share it with u guys.
(uhm, 'u guys' ? like, nobody reads my blog ever -.-)
as always, i dont rmb the position. i dont rmb how it went accordingly, but i do rmb the stuff tht happens. ok, i rmb being in a comp lab of sorts, with two of my friends, shushan and siying, if i aint wrong. hm, we were discussing some sort of thing with the teacha there, whom i cant rmb alr.
there was a bunch of us over there, from various classes and levels. douchebag was right next to me, maybe cos 4/1 comes before 4/2. ok, then i rmb talking to shushan, who was in fronta me, when douchebag cutted in the conversation.
we totally ignored him as expected, until he pulled me towards him and kissed me on the cheek and said smth which i dont rmb alr, tht made me laugh =.= ok, he's a douchebag even in my dreams.
and then i rmb taking bus no 3, and alighting at some sch tht had a table at the bus stop. there was smth abt a listening compre exam. i was abt to start on it when some guy came up to me and was like, "eindah eindah, go in to take ur exam!"
i stood up immediately and got one of those blood-rush-to-ur-brain thing, and then when all was fine, i looked at tht guy and was like, "uh, what?" and then he was like, "wait, can u tell me whats ur name?" i rmb replying in a very small voice.
my mom came along, and then she told me tht imma have to go to tht sch cos she registered me alr. smth abt 'getting rid of'. she asked me which of the uniforms i'd like to wear. she told me tht there are 2 types; the 'rich' one and the 'normal' one.
she said tht she might be getting me the 'rich' one. according to her it was the uniform tht the richer girls from the sch wore. i took a look at it and was like, ".....get me the other one, thanks." she diedie wanted to get me the 'rich' one. probz cos of the image.
i can still rmb how both the uniforms look like.
ok, and then i dont rmb alr. but i was officially a student from tht sch. if i aint wrong, siying was too, cos i rmb being with her the whole time. i cant rmb its name, though one of the girls were yelling it alot the whole time. she was the announcer of some sort. she's the one who gave announcements by yelling the sch's name to get its attention. if i aint wrong, the sch didnt have alot of students.
apparently douchebag was also a student from tht sch. yeah, i rmb alot of parts where he was staring at me. like, just Staring at me thru the crowd, when all the other students were in the midst of chaos.
i dont rmb if it's a boarding sch or what, but i know tht it aint a girls sch. apart from douchebag, i know i saw alot of guys. mm hmm. and tht's it tht i rmb. imma go try draw out the uniforms right now.
food. eaten when hungry, eaten when depressed, eaten when bored, eaten when happy. food is just Simply amazing. and these are just Some of my favourites (;
1. prawns
some of my friends associate prawns with eindah, cos apparently, according to them, i love prawns so much tht they just Get reminded of me when they're eating tht wonderful seafood (x i'm fine with any prawns, especially them deep fried and butter ones.
my family always shoves the prawns to me at dinner. i was watching Shark Tale with my dad once, and there was the scene where the prawn was begging the shark not to eat him cos he had a family tht he worked so hard to feed. my dad was like, "do u see tht? the prawn's so sad but u still want to eat them. tsk." -.-
2. seafood!!!1
heck, i love all seafood ok.
ok, let's not bother with numbers. i love all food. so there. done. idk what to do without food. im grateful tht i'm a singaporean who has parents tht work hard to feed all of us. i hate seeing leftovers, which is why i always eat my lil bro's, because sadly i aint able to teleport them to africa.
but guess what? i do have food tht i dislike.
like brocoli. and ikan bilis.
alrighty. we shall start off with things tht i like to do. aka hobbies. (it's been awhile since i've made use of tht word)
1. video-editting
yes, we all know one of my hobbies is video-editting. i first did it in 2007, during my pri sch graduation days. everyone was crying cos it suddenly crossed their mind tht we are LEAVING PRI SCH ! yeah, i cried too. awhile lah.
decided to make a video using pictures from all the times during pri sch. everyone was really helpful, they gave me tons of pics for me to use. the project took me days... and then finally it was done. at tht time i was a noob at the WMM thing. so i didnt save the movie into the correct format..
i didnt know what to do, so tht completed project remained a project, and was nvr an actual video. by the time i knew what to do, it was too late. my desktop had a bloody virus, and it wiped everything off my comp. including tht finished project.
yeah, so no videos were ever uploaded. looking back during those days , i feel so embarrassed for being a blurblock right now.
yeah... i started video editting again only in late 2010. like, really late 2010. around november, which was when i got this laptop of mine. i realized tht i still had the talent (macam faham), so i decided to relight this old skill of mine.
the first video i ever made again
alrighty, tht's one hobby down.
2. poetry
idk what u call it. but i write things tht come in lines and rhyme and has a short message written in a very long way. the very first time i wrote one was... ok, i dont rmb. but like video-editting, my writing poems was just Another 're-discovered' skill of mine.
i restarted in early 2009. the very first poem i ever wrote again had really cheem lyrics and almost made no sense. let me just Get it for you...
the very first poem i ever wrote again
the only light in the crowd
all alone in the town
the way ur guitar shone took my notice
u strummed it and i forgot everything
i was blind
but ur song led my way to the light
tht melody, it feels familiar the very first time
it was a link even before i saw you
must have been fate
tht melody, dragged me in from the very first line
attraction to ur instrument and ur song
you the mastermind
ok, i'm embarrassed alr.
no, i cant rmb its title. i think it's "Tht Melody". whatever lah. =.=
i keep these in files numbered from one to six. apparently file #6 only has two poems; an untitled one and "the Hex of God". the former's about a heartbroken girl and a douchebag male, while the latter is something about war. personally i think the Hex of God is quite interesting sia.
3. an X on the Right Shoulder
uhm... some stick dude tht i always drew to represent my feelings. he's got an X on his right shoulder cos he got hurt there once. yeah, he's me but he's male. his love interest is some other stick figure with an I on its body.
click here to see this lil dude, or as i like to call him; X RS. (with a space!)
i assure you, you will get along just Fine with him.
he's originally a female. but then i was like, "shit she doesnt LOOK like a female." i then decided to make her a him. but then i was like, "shit, what abt her love interest?" i thought for a sec before deciding tht irshad's stickman shall be female.
4. writing
yes, the ultimate hobby. it's my passion man. idk what to do if there aint such things as pens or notebooks or paper. i rmb when my teacha made us write journals back in p4. i liked doing tht. one of the topics was ambitions, so naturally i declared tht i wanted to be a writer.
my teacha read out my entry to the whole class, which she should NOT have done. the kids in my class started making fun of me, and always snatched whatever i was writing, be it my sch work or my personal stuff. they tossed it around and eventually they all knew my secrets.
i guess u may consider me currently writing a book. idk, they're a buncha fulscaps with numbers at the bottom. yeah, i guess it's a book. what is it abt? to make a long story short, it's abt a dream.
5. walking
done when i am upset. the very first time was, in august last year. it was fasting month, i cooked for both my brothers cos my mom wasnt home. what saddened me was the fact tht both of them didnt eat tgt with me at the dinner table.
idk, i admit tht i cried a truckload of tears tht evening. when i was done with my food i went out for a walk, and truth be told, it helped. i cried like shit, i got cold, i got scared, but at the end of the day, i felt sooo muuuch better. and then my eyes were swollen the next morn.
----------------------------------------------
and these are just A bunch of other hobbies tht i sometimes may do in my spare time. 6. shoot some m.t.f.k. zombies
i seem to have smth against them ever since I Am Legend.
7. Smosh
hell yeah, they are awesome. why do i like them the best of all other Youtubers? cos two is better than one. and they're FUNNY SHIT ! i heard tht their female fans like them only cos they're cute. uh... tht's so stupid. what if they started talking in sign language?
8. play scenes in my head
things tht i wish could have happened, or i wish would happen. like bashing the crap out of some douchebags i we know.
9. make music videos in my head
i also have the talent to make amazing music videos in my head. unfortunately they will NEVER be seen by any HUMAN.
10. dreaming
be it in the night or day, i love dreaming. my dreams are weird and occassionally make me laugh, but the most important thing is tht they teach me valuable lessons. yes, awesome tht i'm able to rmb them.
nobody's home. everybody else is busy. the silence is killing me.
my brother is out. my other brother is at a sleepover. parents are trying to earn a living for us. where are the neighbours? when was the last time i heard keys unlocking the gates? or the karang guni man? even the construction site across my bedroom window is unusually quiet. i wonder what's gg on.
i once said tht i dont like silence, but tht i dont like noise either. my friend was like, "then how !?" i told him, "music."
what comes first into ur head when u see the word 'music' ?
actually now tht i think abt it, everything is music. just Like how everything is art. the neighbour's cat's bell is music, the sound of the keyboard is music, footsteps is music. it just Depends on how u look at it. like art. not everyone appreciates art, when life is an art itself.
why is music always associated with song ? i dont think tht is necessary. right right ??? and why do ppl think abt drawing, or painting when they think of the word 'art' ? "i'm not good at art." like, really? more specifically, you just Can't draw, tht's all. right ?
music is art. everything is art . YOU are an art. (: no matter what talent u have, it's all art. right?
we do things for a reason. whatever the intention is, be it good or bad, we all do something for a reason. sometimes it's a help in disguise; at other times it is a reversed bribery (like, u do something good, and then ask for something in return) .
intentions are not always told . the good ones are kept secret usually because of pride. the bad ones, well obviously they are wanted to be kept secret. right? sometimes the good intentions are mistaken for the bad, and vice versa. maybe tht's why ppl get stepped on all the time; bcos their good intentions were accused to be for wrong reasons. if u get what i mean.
so yeah... it doesnt matter if ppl mistake ur intentions to be of wrong 'genre' . as long as u managed to help someone by doing smth with good intentions. as long as God knows, and YOU. tht's all tht matters.
we all have, at some points or another, went thru a bad day where everything went wrong. it cant be helped; it's neither urs nor the ppl around yous' faults.
but no matter what happened, dont ever ever say "Today sucked."
be grateful tht u had today. you know what they say, today is a gift, tht's why it's called the Present. u dont say it sucks when someone gives u a present right? same thing. appreciate it.
dont let one affect many, tht's what i always say.
one day gone wrong doesnt determine ur fate. today was awful, so what? there's still tomorrow, and a lot more days!
there's a story inside, but it's just A matter of whether u want to read it or not. a book cant be judged by its cover, neither can it be by its summary nor genre. every book has its unexpected twist. something u never thought would have been. you wont understand it unless u read the story itself.
everyone has their problems. it's just A matter of whether they let it pull them down or not.
for me, the best way to conquer problems is by talking to someone abt it. it really helps. it ensures tht someone out there is willing to listen to all ur whines and cries. whenever someone is telling me all his problems, i'll keep quiet and wait until he is done.
never interrupt a confide. cos when u do, the confider will think tht what u say will be against him, and hell nvr share u his probs, for he is afraid of being told he's wrong. when a person is down, all u gotta do is listen. really, it helps alot. and when your down, all u gotta do is talk.
it doesnt matter who, as long as u got those problems out of ur head, u've got no more reason to think abt them anymore. crying makes it ten times better. make ur eyes run out of tears! (:
so yeah... telling stories is always a joy. if it's a happy story, u'll just Spread the smiles, when the person u're sharing it with sees how happy u are when telling it. if it's a sad story, you're letting all the sadness out, and sometimes share it with ur listener, which is a joy itself.
everything has a story.
every language is a story.
every name is a story.
every place is a story.
every song is a story.
even reasons have stories.
you're a girl. a young girl. one who knows very little because the brother who's been teaching you how to fight left you halfway. what do u know?
one who's very weak, one whose health is weak, and whose backbone is fragile. really, what do u know? ur glare is as cold as ice. but ur self-defence melts so quickly. ....no, self defence shouldnt even melt. nobody must know ur weaknesses... no names must be mentioned to allow ur heart to give way...
ok, whatever.
dont ever run away from home. regardless of whether ur a girl or a boy. home is the safest place, no matter where u live; which area, or a bungalow or a flat... the place where you've had ur comfort moments the most. THT is the safest.
so right now, im angry with my MOM. she gave me a light bulb last month, and it's sitting at the edge of my desk, staring right at me. im tempted to throw it into the dustbin in HER ROOM, along with all the birthday cards, anklets and tees she gave me. but then again, i thought.. if i were to get rid of all the things she's given me, i might as well suicide too.
mothers gave us our lives.
mothers sacrifice alot for us. they CHOSE to have you, tht is alr one. their beauty, their leisure time, their career... yeah, all tht. the worst thing a child could ever say to her mother is, "i didnt ask u to give birth to me!"
.................mothers have feelings too.
if they nag, scold, and do all those small little normal things tht u find annoying, u should be grateful tht her presence is there for you to regard. some kids dont even have mothers... some teenagers took so long to rebuild the relationship with their mothers, only to bump into an unfortunate event whereby their mother passes away...
i think the only lie ur mom ever told you was when she comforted you with the word 'forever'... no matter how comforting it is, it's an irrevocable lie.
the thin shoulder tht u pushed so hard when in an arguement... she's ur mother. she's fragile. she's old. most of all, she aint gonna be here for much longer... u know she's here right now. she will be, until she dies. u should make her happy so she can leave in peace...
if u never got along with her, the least u could do is cry by her deathbed. she'll be so happy tht the child who's hated her all along, finally regarded her as their mother. the shine in tht last smile may make u cry endless tears, but the good thing is tht ur mother has left with happiness and peace in her mind...
if ur mom aint ur biological one, it's great tht she was willing to become the family tht u are a part of. she chose to take care of you. if u never accepted her, she accepted you and was trying very hard ...
ok, think ive said enough.
every mother is special. regardless of age, race, character. love your mom.
and on the note,
i love my mother. (even though she just Came into my room to find trouble with me)
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
everyone has a tumblr, but im still on blogger. isit cos im unable to move on? nope. its cos im more comfortable here.
not all things are worth moving on. maybe your trying to forget ur ex cos ur friends are telling you to. maybe ur parents are telling you not to cry over a grandparent's death. but who are they to tell u tht? to whom does ur life belong to?
yes, make ur own decisions. dont listen to others. if u feel like basking in the past, so be it. just Dont show it, dont tell anyone tht u cant move on, lest they accuse u of being a loser. its ur comfort zone. do what u like. stop listening to others. listen to urself.
i hope you're happy.
i'm not. but i guess it wont matter shit to you. as long as ur freaking money wasnt wasted cos of me, my happiness doesnt matter shit. even if i dont smile, it doesnt matter bcos at least the bloody ticket was used. am i really the princess u claimed me to be in front of my sch mates?
u said i should listen to you cos u are my daughter. but i think i should listen to me cos im myself. ive got more rights to make the decision for myself. you're lucky tht nothing flew to ur face aft all. the sch is giving me a reward for my studies. but you're bringing me out of the country against my own will. i'm afraid of overseas places. but you dont know abt tht. why?
since young, u nvr really noticed my fears at all do you? u kept buying me dolls cos u never noticed how afraid i was of them. u dont know what i like, what i dislike. u keep buying me things tht i dont really favour. u buy me lots of chocolates, when i detest majority of the chocs out there.
the fact tht i didnt say anything means im ok with it. cos i appreciate the thoughts. well guess what? this time it aint ok.
for the very first time i am voicing out my objection. i guess u aint used to it, which is why you cant take it. ok then, fine then. i tried. i suppose from now on, ive gotta keep lying abt my opinions just To prevent u from wanting to slap my face.
