3 AM

I just woke up from a dream.

There were floods everywhere.

I saw on the news that there were so many bodies, they had to separate them into two piles.

One mountain for the bodies who drowned, one mountain of bodies who were burnt.

One body of a little boy washed up into my house, and my aunt and uncle and granny sent it off to the authorities.

They told us the body had been floating around and about all the way from Europe.

Spirits wouldn't leave us alone after that.

My aunt and uncle and granny told me to sleep separately from them.

I was sent off with my parents and brothers to "appease the spirits" and we were forced to walk through a secluded kampung that was surrounded by forest.

They told us not to speak, because our voices would intimidate 'them'.

My big brother was blind when he got married, and while walking through the forest, he asked me to tell him all about his wedding ceremony.

'They' got angry.

I woke up. And the time said 3:08. I used to be scared of the 3 AM hour because I was very sure this is when all the bad things happen, including dreams.

Now I can't help but wonder maybe I'm thrown awake because my dreamself is getting punished for the noise and they don't want me to be a witness.

Maybe bad things happen to you whether or not you're awake.

Bad things will always happen at 3 AM, just that you don't know if tonight it will be in the dreamworld or in the real world.

I feel like the queen of demons has laid eggs in my brain.

I don't feel sad at night from over thinking. Instead I go through all this shit with dreams.

I'm numb from it. I don't cry or shiver from the fear. I don't feel fear whenever I wake up from a vivid dream.

I'd like to believe I'm numb. But I believe more in the fact that my inner self is screaming in fear that 'things' are tearing her apart.  Tearing  me apart from the inside.

MAKE IT STOP PLEASE