For Hafizah

I'd heard the teachers saying her name since last year's April semester. I saw her once in Daeln lab, right at the other end of the classroom but I never took notice of her much and it was the first and last time I saw her anyway.

When the October semester started, I was told that she was in my group for IB. I knew her name, but not her face, so when our teacher asked if I knew her, I just said I didn't. He told me that she knew me, so in a way, we did notice each other but never bothered to interact.

I saw her again in Digital Logic, when she walked in and straight to the back of the classroom. I was seated at the front, so I noticed her but of course, I never talked to her. She had a frown on her face and I thought she'd be the arrogant kind.

But when we first met with our other IB group member, she wasn't arrogant at all. She talked more than me, and she wasn't shy like I was, never held back whatever she wanted to say. When she stood up to leave, she smiled at me and said: "See you in Digital Logic."

This one day I was seated alone at the back of Daeln class as always, when I heard someone dragging back the chair next to me and sitting down. I looked up to see her, and she said hey. As much as I was surprised to see her choosing the seat next to mine of all places, I was happy to have someone next to me.

In the midst of all our confusion and frustration with our circuit shit, we talked a lot about ourselves. I learnt that she was one year older than me, and that she was taking the same modules as me. Again, I'd found a friend who was in the same boat as I was.

I was supposed to have tutorial after that, but I decided to skip it to get a replacement bank book. I was starting work at 6 that evening, and I needed to give them my bank account number.

I talked to her about my new job, and while we were walking out and down the hallway, I told her I was skipping my next class to head to Clementi's POSB outlet. She listened, and then she said something that made me pause: "Want me to drive you?"

I must have looked really confused, because as I looked at her she laughed and said, "Drive? I drive a car. I can drop you there."

Of course I got excited, because I'd never had a friend drive me somewhere before. I told her about how I felt like she just dropped a bomb on me, because it felt so cool and overwhelming and so sudden. Even as I was seated in the passenger seat secured with the seat belt, I was still trying to process it. It felt so cool being in that car!

I realised that she was the kind who knows how to break silence. Either that, or she just likes to ask many questions/say many things. She'd either ask me questions about myself or go on into her own rant/story-telling. It's always been fun talking to her.

She'd ask you questions which people won't usually bother about. Just like that time with our other IB groupmate, while waiting for our teacher in that uncomfortably quiet room, she just suddenly asked him: "So did you cycle during your holiday?" I wanted to laugh so bad, it was so like her to ask you questions you won't expect.

After our common tests, I got to know that she likes reading books too. It was nice knowing I could go on and on talking about books knowing she wouldn't get bored. In fact, you could talk to her about anything and she'd always have something to say or able to relate in some way.

The more we hung out the more I got to know she was another one of those friends whom you could look at and laugh because whatever they do or say is just too funny. We laughed the most in Daeln lab, the looks she'd give me when our teachers said something that just confused us more.

She was slowly becoming my best friend. She knew how I was like and accepted my weirdness and always put through with me whenever I burst out laughing in the middle of her stories. We made plans to graduate together, even though we probably felt it was nearly impossible.

If I had known last Friday was gonna be the last time I'd see her, I would have followed her to her locker instead of rushing to meet my friend.

I never saw her for the whole of this week, and I thought nothing of it, maybe she was just sick. But she's gone now, another best friend withdrawn from school. It's a huge blow, and I cried til I couldn't breathe, our time together was so short.

But it's okay. I wish her the best, and I hope I can keep going until I graduate, for her and for my other best friend who withdrew last term.