Back together with writing

So! Today was officially the start of classes. Just like last semester, my first day happened to be the shortest day; I only had class from 9-12 today {: I'd say what this module is but you'd fall asleep halfway through its name.

Lucky for me, today's class is with Shi Hui, so I waited for her before heading on to class, despite both of us being half an hour late. This class wasn't that bad, well there weren't many people to begin with. All the first day fears of being buried by a thousand eyes just vanished.

I had lunch with Shi Hui and Loy at the poolside canteen, where I'd bumped into a few other coursemates. It was nice seeing Hadi, I don't know why! Probably because he's always been the one from 1A1 to encourage me and support me out of the blue.

Everyone had class afterward, while I already didn't have any, so I headed up to the library to do some writing. It'd been a while since I last caught up with my diary, so we decided to make some sweet, sweet love.

I'm so proud of myself for realising how important I am, compared to some guy I met barely over a year ago. For realising how I'd made a wrong choice by choosing to love him more than what I loved to do since childhood. [link to a blog post in case you are confused]

I listened to the songs which used to remind me of him, songs which I refused to listen after the break-up because they made me remember his smile, songs which hit the nail on the head regarding having lost a loved one. I hated those songs, but today, I listened to them, and the sadness was what drove me to keep writing.

He used to reprimand me for my anger management issues. And, looking at both my parents, I was pretty sure I did have those problems. But hey, I got to the bottom of my life, yet here I am, not angry anymore. I think I've overcome my grudges.

I'd said this so many times, really. I've changed from last year. I no longer hold grudges, and I'm no longer angry.

Okay maybe Express Files isn't the only useful thing he left behind. He left behind a whole truckload of my energy and my courage and my strength, which I'd been able to pick up easily and use for my own life. So thank you, you idiotic worthless scumbag of a faggot ex.

Bottom line is, I can write again! My hand does get a little shaky after a while, but I'll take a few deep breaths and I can go on again. At the end of it, I'd managed to write 4 pages in an hour, which is a big deal to me, though it is nothing compared to the past, before 2013.

But it's a start. A rebirth.

I love writing, and I always will. I've grown stronger, and I always will.