The spark is going

We've been hanging out the past week. We study at his school, though most of the time he's teaching me or we're both just fooling around. We've known each other for more than a year, but we've never gotten to know the other more.

He's really adorable. I love the smug smile he gives every time he manages to annoy me. I love how nerdy he looks. I love how we glance at each other without saying a word and burst into chuckles. I love the way he gives me a flying kiss when he's going off to play soccer.

Never thought I'd feel this way again. I told myself not to screw up this one. I told myself, take care of him properly no matter how hurt you are by another. I told myself, take it slow. Because I really liked him for who he was, and with him, my anger is so easily forgotten.

I've gone to new places when I'm with him, and not just literally but in a metaphorical sense too. He brings me to a certain kind of happiness that I can't describe, just as I thought I would never get up again. Even if I thought I'd move on, I never thought it would be this easy. Quick like a bullet shot to the head where you don't have to suffer.

He brought me to his clique's favourite place, which had felt like the start of something new. And on Wednesday, we were going to take the bus back to Pasir Ris [it was his turn to sacrifice his concession; his is for the MRT and mine is for the bus] when someone called to him from a car.

His friend offered to drop us to Simei, and I was reluctant at first but I just went along with it. I've always loved buses and trains, never a big fan of cars exactly. But I absolutely loved being beside him in his friend's, looking out the window, being on my roads.

The best part? We actually went on the Marina Coastal Expressway, the new expressway which just opened late last year. I didn't know until I heard his friend talking about the Marina Barrage above us, and I just had to cut in: "What expressway are we on...?"

I couldn't help getting excited, and he started teasing me, as if he didn't know my obsession with roads and expressways.

"She looks familiar," his friend remarked about me. I knew it was impossible for him to know me straightout as me, so I just told him my elder brother's name, thinking he'd know him. Surprisingly, the name meant nothing to him, but he insisted that he'd seen my face before.

He and I got to Simei, thanked his friend for the ride, and made our way to his home. I loved how I knew the way just by knowing his block name and street number.

It would have been a great day and all, if I hadn't decided to drink while walking. I told myself, just one bottle, but that taste left me wanting more so I bought another. I let him see that side of me, and I so deeply fucking regret because now he ain't talking to me.

It confuses me though. We did talk about how he'd one day accompany me drink, but only after we finish studying for the day. Which was just what happened that night; as long as I didn't drink while he was teaching me, it's fine. I really don't get it.

Still, I think I've learnt my lesson. This habit is ruining a friendship. I've said sorry and that I will quit, and that I hoped he would talk to me like normal again. I swear, if he would just text me like normal, smother me with good mornings and babes, I swear I will never ever touch alcohol ever again.

And that's what happened. My most recent heartbreak, and my most recent addition to my debate of Guys are more complicated than girls!!!