Some thoughts of mine.

Here are a few of my thoughts which I had meant to share with the prince yesterday but didn't manage to.

As I'd mentioned some time ago, I've been getting tired of those Tumblr photos of what girls are expecting from guys, what guys should do for girls, shit like that. These photos tell girls to choose the right guys; the guys who would 'text you good morning and good night everyday', 'call you just to tell you they are thinking of you', 'give you their shoulder to cry on and arms to wrap around you'. And I'm not referring to boyfriends, just boys in general.

There are also those kinds which start off with "Guys, if you really want a girl, do this:", shit like that. Well, with the help of these photos or quotes, even the typical douchebags would be able to charm girls. This very fact confuses me and got me thinking. Are these really helping assholes to become nicer and more charming, or are they just dressing the wolves up as sheep?

What if guys are like, "Okay, I'll just wish her good morning and good night everyday without fail. She's bound to take me seriously and shit! Hohoho!" and then he charms you, and you're like "Awww, he's so sweet by doing this" blahblahblah, but you'll never know if it's really sincere or if he's just trying to play nice in order to fool you, because he knows it's what you girls want.

Am I making sense? I've been haunted by this for a week. Shouldn't you stop posting your expectations on Twitter or Tumblr, just to protect the 'secret' of what we want from guys? This way, wouldn't we really know who is hell-bent and sincere and persistent on being with us? Well if you are different from other girls then I'm glad you've escaped the trap of expectations.

Another thought of mine is about my religion. I've only recently started reading about it. And for all I know, we all have something called 'jodoh'.

"Sekuat mana kita setia, 
Sehebat mana kita merancang,
Selama mana kita menunggu, 
Sekeras mana kita bersabar, 
Sejujur mana kita menerima kekasih kita, 
Jika Allah Subhanahu Wata' Ala tidak menulis jodoh kita bersama kekasih kita;
Kita tetap tidak akan bersama dengannya."

First things first it scares me. What if I invest in all my effort, energy, patience, love, care, time, in my relationship with the prince, only to still have him leave like the rest just because God didn't want us together? I thought it was really mean of God.

Another thing which I'd thought of... So what if you're together with someone who is in a terrible state of depression, and you've done all you can for him. What if you think he's getting better but then one day he died of suicide? That means that God doesn't want you to be with him right? So are you trying to tell me that God played out that suicide, just to prevent you from being together?

I don't know... I just had these thoughts. Like I'd said, I just recently started reading on my religion, so I don't know much. I don't need a lecture but correct me if I'm wrong and clear my doubts for me maybe?

Anyway, I'm going out with the girls tomorrow. And by girls, I mean the ones I had left when we were in Sec 5. [I'm pretty sure you've read my story by now] I'm glad I had the chance to reunite with all of them, because they're all wonderful people and I've missed the times we've spent.

I stayed home for the whole of today and I was rummaging through my mess at the corner of the room when I bumped into an old camera of mine. Someone from my past had given it to me about two years ago; it was dusty but still functioning.

I'm not even sure if people still read my blog, but I'll keep doing this. I do get upset over the fact that I can't get anything out of what I love, especially money, because I really need it; but writing and blogging is my passion and I should never let anything get in the way of that.