update.

WHAT THE HELL, MAN. WHAT THE HELL ?

that's all i can say.

apart from that, guess what? after all he'd said and done yesterday, my older brother has got a severe fever right now. he'd been vomitting the whole day, and it seems like he's really really sick.

i assure you, i have got nothing to do with that. i don't do hexes or shit like that. *grins*

had gone to Guilley today, and my cousin Abang Ma'in got me a seashell wind chime! there's a new cat in the house, except not literally. this cat ain't allowed in because she doesn't get along with the existing 6. i forgot her name. boplok?

well yeah, so anyway. am currently reading The Double Shadow. (you see, i did it again! typed 'douche' instead of 'double'.)

i'm in the mood to do something crazy right now. or something which i've never done.

o! i should probably change my wardrobe. was at cotton on with syazana and her mom the other time, when the latter told me i should wear more bright colours.

i had replied; "nah, not yet." which apparently further dismisses the point, because syazie's mom argued that it's because i'm young, that's why i've got to experiment with colours before it clashes with my age.

plus, the other time when i had gone to bugis with syazie, she had told me to stop looking at black dresses. well... i guess her mom had had a point.

well. it's five minutes past midnight. i'm in the mood for a late-night phone call, but unfortunately for me there ain't nobody to do that with me. hohum. awesome.

in the meantime, i'll just continue listening to my playlist on WMP. currently playing Space x Time, a collaboration between dear TFT's Maika Maile and a Dana Harmon.

it's just so strange, really. at times, i get angry with all that's happened. at other times, i miss the memories terribly and beg for the person to return.

but now, i am feeling neither of that. instead, i feel inspired to bring back the memories in the form of a film.

of course, before i do that, i'll write the book first. definitely.

i'm already excited.
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it has been 22 minutes after midnight. i'm crying right now, the tears as silent as ever. or maybe they're just drowned out by the music blasting into my ears.

either way, i can't hear my sniffs or sobs, and i try to ignore them when they do get too loud.

why am i upset this time? sigh...

if i keep up the crying, i'd probably end up with a very high fever by tomorrow evening, latest.
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"if you don't know how to play the game, don't roll the dice."

i've survived the first 48 minutes of the 6th of June, 2012. i'm so tired. i want to bask in someone's solace. i want to be held in somebody's arms. to be comforted... by a human.
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hey, fuck this.

i hate this. i can't take this anymore.

if suicide wasn't such a crime i would've committed it a long time ago. i swear.

fuck this. really.