solitude = sanity/insanity ?

solitude. happiness. put them together and you have a beautiful couple.

i mean, isn't it rare to have someone truly happy to be alone these days? sure, people are always saying how they'd like to be alone when they're upset, but it doesn't make them happy, doesn't it? they just want to be left on their own just so they could cry. right?

who would be truly happy being left in solitude these days? maybe for a while you'd think it's the best for you, but eventually you'd still seek interaction with other humans.

i hear that too much solitude can make one go insane, literally. solitude in terms of shutting one out from the rest of the world, and vice versa. it's like how one would go insane in a prison; a small, dark room.

perhaps it is the hallucinations that keep an insane person sane. imagining other humans in there with them keep their sanity under control when in fact they are already going mentally unstable. isn't that ironic?

maybe happiness is just a cover-up for the loneliness that's eating up your heart.

why the hell was i discussing that, you ask? *laughs*

then again being in a crowd could also prove fatal to your sanity, as evidenced by the way my head was throbbing when i was walking through the rivers of people at Ws earlier.

are some people afraid of crowds because they are afraid of the attention? are we paranoid that the whole world is watching us, mocking us silently?

or are we afraid that the crowds wouldn't notice a thing if we were to vanish on the spot? hmm. a million questions running through my head regarding the issue of solitude.

anyway, i had gone to the library, where i read my current book, which is this;

it's about the so-called "after-effects" of a party that had gotten out of hand. it's great thus far, drowned me real deeply. each time i guess who the rapist might be, i turn the page and there would be something that makes me doubt my guess. it's amazing!

well anyway, guess what? once this weekend is over, the new semester would be starting for us in secondary and primary schools. for once you don't feel so TGIF now, don't you?

feels strange to think of school, you know. right now the faces of some people from my school are flashing in my mind, and somehow, it feels strange. like, who on earth are those people? i mean, i know who they are but they seem like strangers. get it?

one thing for sure, though; i am definitely not looking forward to school. first thing that's gonna happen to me is i'd be called out in the morning for missing out on structured programme. wanna bet?

and i get the feeling that i won't be in the mood to clip up my fringe, so i'm probably gonna be called out for that too. *sigh* o well. oh, well, thou art so deep.

i'm living, but i am not alive.