im a horrible person. i lied to myself abt the fact tht i liked him. "my heart was true all along". why did i deny it? was it cos i didnt want to be hurt again? by the same person? idk. i just know tht i kept the feelings locked and was looking for a hiding place for its key all along.
all the crushes i had, they were indeed walls. khairul was the thickest wall, where the door was at. tht door led me out of the bomb shelter. i was hiding from the bombs called my love for irshad. i walked out the door, where i found irshad.
(damn ive used this bomb theory of mine for eons alr)
2nd nov 2011 was my worst day then far. i had nobody , i was all alone with very little hope of being found by someone, when you, irshad noorhalim, appeared before me. you comforted the child tht i was. the way you always did in the past.
i found solace in douche's arms.
tht was all tht was in my mind aft tht night. i still couldnt believe tht we're in a relationship, aft these 2 years of my crush on you. when i was with somebody else, every part of myself was silently calling out to you. except for my mind.
i'm glad tht i decided to have tht one day of doing things tht khairul forbade me from doing. i'm glad tht we broke up. i'm glad tht i was a stubborn bastard who refused to stop working. im glad i got the job. im glad i followed asleah and farizah to apply.
ok, you get what i mean.
well. i guess it's really all fate's doing for sure. we fell apart, and then we pulled back tgt. again and again, and again. somehow, in one way or another, we just naturally found each other again and again. hehe.
uhm. i dont wanna go all eindah wrister the philosopher now. my point is, i'm glad all tht happened, happened. i'm glad you became mine. i'm glad to be yours.
heh, i really love irshad. i cant deny it alr la. he's the love of my life. him. nobody else. no one else seems to deserve the title. everytime i look into his eyes, i just know tht he's the one.
a picture taken aft we shared first kiss.
(:
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