k, im upset.
my diary's not with me, so imma just Make do with my bloggie. i'm writing a letter to Muhammad Naqib E'zuwan.

dear older brother of mine,

you. are my older brother. yet, why do you not treat me like ur younger sister? when was the last time we had a hearty conversation full of smiles and laughs? yes, i dont remember too.

u used to make fun of me all the time. u used to laugh at me when i got scolded by mom. u used to smack me when i did smth wrong. u used to teach me maths. u used to play childish games with me. u used to tell me super lame jokes.

in other words, u used to love me.

when was the last time u appreciated my presence? i've wished u happy birthday every year, be it via mom or dad or cards slipped under ur bedroom door. i dont rmb having failed to wish u being one year older. only once.

idk why u changed. u had a girlfriend. ur hits got harder and harder. you became silent. u shut urself in ur room all day. at night, u shifted to ur own room aft years of sleeping next to me.

shit. right now, all the memories flashing in my head. i must have barely been 9. i'd like to list out all the memories i rmb right now, but they're too large in amt. and i'd rather u rmb those times on ur own rather than i remind u.

when was the last time i called u my bro? i dont rmb. we addressed each other as aku kau. i dont rmb being called Adik by you anymore too. only our little nazriq is addressed as tht in this house, but thts another story .

....i really really miss you. u're letting ur friends affect ur relationship with us; ur family. why? come on lah. i know u're way smarter than tht sey. i know tht u know how much we love you. u just Forced urself to forget. idk what makes u think our parents dont love you. they love u like hell.

i love you like hell. i love you like fuck. i miss you like fuck.
please regard me as your sister again please?
please regard us as your family again please?
please ?