1. You're on your own, kid (2012)

(The playlist)

Sometimes I think of you back then, so oblivious to what was coming. From my angle I really do wonder why you took so long to get over such a mediocre guy. It was blindingly obvious no good would ever come of waiting, but wait you did. A whole year gone.

For 17, it was the last time you would be surrounded by other people your age. Before paths finally split many ways, before you and your classmates would sit in different classrooms learning many different subjects from one another. Not the last time you would look around your peers and wonder why you didn't fit in. 

A whole year gone, but not a whole year wasted. I know you did a good job trying. There were many instances you chose anger, but I see the times you chose company instead. A very big step for someone who felt so much hatred for the world and herself. 

So many paths to take, with people showing you the ropes. When you still hadn't realised there was a whole world outside Pasir Ris. Sitting in McDonald's with an alumni, looking through the portfolio he prepared for one of his courses in poly. You climbed seashell pavilions with a friend who had moved on to ITE, routes that both seemed so far away.

You let two of your classmates see you at your most vulnerable while teaching you how to cycle, and when you finally got it, it felt like flying. You flew past ghosts on breakwaters who still followed you home, but with the ocean wind in your hair, you didn't care.

Saying yes when the class chairman invited you to sit at her friends' table during lunch. Staying out late in airport cafes with one of the cool girls, who said she could never beat you in English no matter how hard she tried. Who laughed at you good-naturedly when she saw that you weren't smoking your cigarette properly.

You, lying down on rooftop basketball courts with the group of boys who used to bully you, talking about ghosts in the late of night. Passing cigarettes and confessions around.

And I know you saw something in every single one of them, even the friends from home who didn't know what to say. Who sat quiet on the chalet porch while you smoked. I know this one decision changed your entire life, when you chose to turn off your phone and stay overnight with the classmates you would only have a few weeks left with.

There's someone ten years older looking at you from here and she wants you to know you're on your own, kid. I see exactly where each of your choices will take you, but I won't tell you where to go. I want you to see for yourself how it all pans out, because we both know you can face it. 

Next: 2. Bejeweled (2013)