0:23 An island not big enough to hold both of us, where people show off sun-kissed skin while complaining about the heat. Laughing at the politics and weeping for the wars in other countries. Borders with no difficulty holding me in, while you floated seamlessly to and fro for years.
0:29 Here I am on fire all along and never realising it. You did not deny anything so there was always somewhere to put the blame for your ashen state. But even with the hell that I already was, even with the smoke and the holes in your wings I found home in, did I deserve more fire?
0:53 Your footprints pointing the opposite way, something I had grown used to yet still lost myself over. Acceptance was difficult, even when I still had enough sanity to realise how wrong you were. I writhed forward, not knowing it was a better place than the way you were going, tripping over my own feet.
1:01 So there you go in the meantime, newborn wings and everyone's admiration. Don't pretend the insecurity in my last moments weren't true, knowing I was the victim of a hundred secret tongues. No matter what I wrote, I had hidden intentions. No matter how far along I've gone and how far apart we are already, I am still a perpetrator to new strangers.
1:08 Only the god you weren't loyal to knows how often your phone screen ends up on my pages, and that is something neither of us understood. So quick to burn me out, so quick to drop me countless times to take higher flight. But you came to my funerals so often for someone who repeatedly claimed I was nothing to him, preaching the reasons for my nine and a half deaths.
1:28 Do you think we're made for each other? I just don't love you anymore. Let's not care what others think and just be together. I want to experience dating at this age. I don't want to lose you again. My mum will never approve of you. Which of your words are to be thrown against you, which ones to reminisce on future milestones?
1:42 Your own swirl of thoughts became mine to drown in while my metaphors that you always laughed at became your reason to leave. And until now, you own the wings that you always denied from me, charred and dysfunctional as they are.
1:59 The pain she endured because of you became things you never asked for. The long-term bravery turned into something you just had to endure, at least until someone else swooped in, at least until she lost her grip on you along with her mind. At least until she played Victim on her out of tune piano again.
2:28 We both know the simplicity of running through burned down towns, though your route above the smoke is the sign of cowardice. I leave with burns and scars, mouth open in ugly laughs. My fire is brought to the next exit on the expressway, only this time bringing warmth more than destruction. Anywhere but the first of the green line, for the rest of my life.
2:35 Maybe your many last words ring in your mind, where there is no space for remorse or apology. A tongue that knows worse brutality than the hands, as terrible they already are. You continue kissing other women with that mouth, but it is the freedom that knocks your teeth out with pebbles of the past.
2:43 I still associate the endless blue with you. Tell myself it's fine, for I never had intention to spend much time in the planes, love for sun or not. And your insomnia is opportunity for larger stones breaking your glass house, the cries of the unborn and the plot of the unfinished.
3:05 The grass will always burn in my wake, my skin reeking of battles I've fought. Bloody and wet with salt. The water was neither of our affinity, but stubbornness was, countless dives of regret. A bird and a flame in constant battle with no victor, five years eaten up alive and vomited out again and again.
3:43 With the power of words, my tears from more than two years ago turn into bullets. But they bounce off your remorseless back and slice through my neck instead.
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