So the whole back row in my Thursday EG2 lecture are unrelated people. Most of us being repeats who have no one that we know in that classroom, we sit together but we have nothing to do with each other.
Today there was only one other kid and I, 2 out of the usual 5 people. One of them is my UR classmate that has never talked to me personally before, another being a classmate whom I've been in the same classes with since last sem. [Ok so maybe in a way we are related in life but still]
As usual once we were dismissed I was the first out of class while everyone was still taking their time to pack and chit-chat. I saw someone struggling to open the door, and since I was walking out I helped her, thinking she wanted to come in or something.
I didn't recognise the girl on the other side as one of my lecture classmates, so I thought she was looking for someone in my class. But she started talking to me. I didn't quite catch what she said, and she repeated: "Have you finished class?"
A little confused, I answered that yeah, I'm done, and she responded with this smile on her face: "Can you help us take a picture?" and I was like oh shit... Me?
Of course me. Because I just had to be the first out of the class ._.
So I walked into the opposite classroom with her, where her classmates were gathered at the front of. By this time I was freezing and really badly wanted to pee, and because I felt out of place I started to shiver. My knees and hands were shaking, and I had to put down my laptop just to be able to hold the girl's phone.
I guess I still had a bit of that social anxiety huh?
Once everyone was looking at me smiling I quietly said: "1... 2... 3..." and when I got to 2 my lips were already quivering, it just felt so scary suddenly, being in the middle of everyone's attention. I took another one, telling them to "Okay, this one with posing ah."
Their teacher threw more attention onto me by stating: "Hey, why don't you smile while taking our picture??" which kinda didn't make sense cause I'm not in the picture, why should I be smiling? But that comment just made me smile a little, which made my knees shake a lot more.
When I was done snapping the pictures I said Okay, done, and the teacher said again: "You need to smile more, you look so beautiful when you smile!" so I said thank you, and the girl from before said cheerfully too as I was leaving, "Thank you!" and a chorus of thanks from the others came as well.
And oh god... My knees and hands were shaking so bad, lips quivering like I was about to cry. I said welcome with a smile but I really hope they did not see me shaking. And I really hope the photos did not turn out blurry, no thanks to my shaking hands.
That was quite an experience in less than 3 minutes. Who would have thought I'd still have a bit of that anxiety from years ago? My god... It was so scary, I swear.
And then I walked to the atrium and had sudden diarrhea and now I feel like vomiting until I can shake no more x_x
No comments:
Post a Comment