Stop giving it all to me

I think people are selfish with everything they have except for one thing: the blame. They are more than obliged to give you all the blame they have, selfless enough to save none for themselves.

I read this saying once, something that went along the lines of: "When the leaf falls, do you blame it for not holding on, the tree for letting it go, or the wind for blowing it off?"

When something happens, I doubt there's any party entirely innocent. When someone commits suicide, you don't just blame them for not being strong enough. You'd blame the bully for tormenting them, you'd blame the people who stood by watching, not doing anything to help.

No one is spared the blame; there's more than enough to go around, so go ahead and take some. You deserve it anyway.

I hate how people would say it's my fault for making the bad decisions. I'm not saying I am not wrong, I never once said that. But I can't take all the blame. So would you just stop giving it all to me? I have plenty, I accept my share, but that does not mean I will take others'.

You can blame the ghost, for he was the one who pulled all the strings. He was the one who created such a situation by coming to me first, and you can even blame him for something stupid like making me like him after he came knocking on my door.

You can blame the wind, for he was the one who broke my heart for the third time, rendering me vulnerable enough to be taken advantage of by the ghost. People do the stupidest things when they're upset, so I think it's perfectly fine to blame the one who caused that sadness.

You can blame the flower too, for he was the one who kept all the hope in him. Whether or not what he said was true; if he had said something at that period, I would have clung on to that tiny spark of hope, and none of this would have happened because I'd have stayed where I am.

The possibilities are endless. You can blame anyone, whether they are in the game or the sidelines.

For the past month, the entire responsibility of all this has been dumped on me, and it's tiring the hell out of me. Once again I say, because some people like the river never understand this no matter how many times I say it: I'm not saying I am not wrong. I am very aware I'm in the wrong. I just plead that you stop giving me all that blame.

I'm shouldering the weight of the blame that is meant for the ghost, and it's not fair for he was the one who kicked the ball rolling in the first place. Maybe it was wrong of me to have continued pushing the ball, stupid of me to have put others before myself, even someone like him.

But everyone is making it seem so stupid to have liked someone who talked to you first.

Everyone is making it seem so difficult to just take a slice of this blame.

Everyone is making it seem so unforgivably wrong to make these humanly mistakes.

I've been taking all the hits from as far back as when it all began, and I'm honestly proud at how long I've lasted, how many times I stood back up after crumbling, but. Just. Stop giving it all to me.