Not sure if anyone's noticed, but I haven't been blogging much lately. I'd like to think it's because I've been busy with school and assignments and shit, but nope. I'm still the same old lazy person who cuts off all ties with schoolwork once I'm home.
Other reasons as to why I hadn't been blogging is because
1. I've been writing in my diary more often.
2. I've too many books I need to read.
3. I haven't been sad/angry/happy enough to blog, as silly as it sounds, because we all know how my blog posts usually revolved around my emotions.
If you're a constant reader, you'd remember my posts from some time ago where I'd wrote about how I struggled to get back with writing. I've been doing a good job about that, and I'm really proud of myself. I've not been writing everyday like I used to, but it's a start.
There's also the obsession with books. I buy way too many books, faster than the rate in which I read. Current count of unread books on my shelves are 37, I think. [maybe I bought more since I last counted, I don't remember] [and yes I'm currently broke because of this]
And then with regards to point 3, I just haven't encountered anything that made me super sad or angry enough to blog about. My recent posts have been about this particular guy I'm crushing on [being with him makes me happy], and a flea market with the best friend, with a single angry post in between.
Sad posts are rare right now, if that's the right word? Sure, I've been sad, but those feelings weren't strong enough to bring me down, because I always found ways to cheer myself up. It feels good, I swear I've never felt this way before.
The only thing that makes me sad these days is the fact that my guy isn't liking me back, haha. Other than that, meh... Nothing much to make me miserable, really.
I've learnt to deal with the fact that I have two homes, and that I have no friends in school. I've been obediently transferring to and fro Pasir Ris and Paya Lebar, no more crying about being tossed here and there, no more getting upset about the changes I'd seen in my two hometowns.
I've been eating lunch on my own, not at my hideout but in plain sight. It used to bother me to be seen eating alone, but right now I just don't care anymore. I've started looking forward to lunch because I get to watch videos while eating my rice bowl, muehehe. [Shi Hui and I rarely get the same lunchtimes together]
Today, I'm back at Paya Lebar. I've been watching some old videos on my Youtube account [you can't see them because most of them are private] and I've been laughing my ass off the whole time!!! They're just so memorable, and I swear, I looked way more hideous back then.
All those happy memories of 2011 make me sad inside, because I'd thrown away the chance of having that same happiness in 2012. Why? Because of a break-up, if you'd read my long post from July last year.
Lesson learnt, don't let a break-up bring you down no matter what. And we girls don't need the presence of guys to remind us we're beautiful and strong and shit. Just no. We're fine on our own, really. We just don't realise our potential. If anything, them dudes are the ones who rely on us more.
I don't want to go all feminist on you right now, haha. And anyway, despite my hate and take on guys, I'm still having a crush on one right now, so I'd better not seem hypocritical, if that's the right word.
So anyway, just some recent updates?: I've been going to school, heh. There's this kid who's literally in my every class, and luckily for me he's super friendly. He first approached me on the first Friday of lessons, and he's been disturbing me in class ever since. He hadn't been present in school today, and it was super quiet without him, because he's always super noisy.
I'd been laughing in class a lot, believe it or not. Not that I'm officially friends with everyone, [I don't know their names, and I'm pretty sure they don't even notice my existence] but being in the same classroom as them brings out some joy in me :3
There's also this guy whose name I've forgotten, but he's been helpful in two of my classes, and he's super nice too. Many nice people really, and funny and entertaining. Just make sure I don't get too close to anyone, and I'm pretty sure this semester will be a breeze.
That's it for today then. Not sure if anyone would read this, other than my usual loyal readers like Siying and Nura (': But I love you, whoever's reading this.
current song that's been on repeat: Happy // 2NE1
current book I'm reading: How To Love // Katie Cotugno
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