Why it's difficult for me to dress up.

*ahem* Hi. I know I've already blogged today, but, well, I was bored. And if you really love doing something you wouldn't mind doing it many times, yeah? (;

So I've always been writing. If you're a loyal reader of mine, you'd know this. If you're a good friend of mine who have been close with me since forever, then you'd know that I used to post pictures all the time before I started to get serious on all the words.

Well I have news for you. Still no pictures for you today! I'm sorry okay but I really look up to my blog and I don't want to stain it with anymore pictures of myself. You can however follow me on Instagram @ _109TH because why the fuck not? And I will notice if you follow me, and I will follow back, because that's how unpopular I am.

I'm here now to talk about something I lack... Fashion! As most of you know, I'm always wearing skinny jeans and cardigans. I know skinnies have been out of date for years now but I really don't care and I honestly love wearing them. I boast that I actually have 10 pairs of that shit with me here in Paya Lebar, although I don't wear about 3 of them anymore because I've been wearing the new ones ever since I started school.

I also absolutely love cardigans, and I have four of that although I'm always wearing the pink one because it matches with my tshirts easily. And yes... I have a ton of t-shirts, mostly graphic ones from Ministry of Clothing.

Alright, so the real problem is... I wish I can do something to my sense of clothing. Okay, I have the intention to change how I dress and shit, but you have no idea about all the problems that can come with this simple longing. We all know I lack confidence, that's one thing. We also know I don't get any allowance from anyone and that I'd rather pay for food instead of all that expensive clothes. Yes.

Another problem? My grandma wouldn't let me out of the house in something short. I have a few skirts at my old house in Pasir Ris, and I've worn them quite plenty of times last year. Also a drastic change because I've liked skinnies since years before. They're slightly above the knee but to my grandmother, of course that's short. If I have them here I honestly would have no problem wearing them out if it isn't for my granny.

Also, I don't have any wardrobe here in Paya Lebar. Most of my clothes are crashed onto a bag, with my tshirts and jeans stacked on top of that. I do have a few clothes which are not t-shirts, but I've honestly no idea where they are!!! My granny has a habit of cleaning my belongings without telling me, and shifting things around. And when I ask her if she's seen this shirt, or that shirt, she would have no idea.

I've been looking for my Cotton On sheer top which I bought for 40 bucks about a week before I started school in April. And yes, that shit is missing now. I'm not angry at my granny, but sometimes I wish I have a wardrobe of my own that was mine, with the understanding that no one else is to touch my clothes. *sob*

And you know, sometimes I wish I can go out without my cardigan. I love the sun. But I get scared of the cold, and I'm always wearing my cardigan "just in case". Just in case what??? Just in case it rains and I would need something to keep me warm. Just in case we're going to watch a movie and it's cold in. Just in case we're going someplace with nicely dressed teenagers so that I won't look sloppy in just a t-shirt. Yes.

And footwear! I've been wearing sneakers all my life. I have a pair of wedges back at Pasir Ris, which my cousin bought for me but I'd only managed to wear them once. I'm not only clumsy, but what for wear those if your boyfriend is of the same height as you? No... it doesn't feel right. And I already feel like a monster beside petite girls. What's more, I wouldn't want to stand out that much from the crowd.

So you see the problems I have in dressing differently other than my self-esteem?? Yes. It's that tough for me to dress myself up.

Take a trip to EW1 tomorrow to see my secondary school teachers? Yes? No?