Where are they...?

maybe i should run away. maybe i should pack up and disappear from everyone's lives. that way, i wouldn't have the chance of disappointing anyone with my results.

my aunt has always been giving me the support. my teachers never gave up on me. my parents said they're blaming my aunt if my results are not up to expectations. i want to go to my desired course. the pressure is everywhere.

O Levels start in a few days' time, yet here i am spending all morning on a Maths P1. i gave up on it already because, well. i just couldn't continue.

maybe yes, i should still take my exams but i'll hide from the world afterwards. i told you October is a fucked up month. it always is, in some way or another.

this year though, i doubt November will be any better. i don't really feel like living to see November arrive. but i have to. at least til the 19th, but i want to disappear right afterwards.

i'm so tired. i know this is a stupid thing to still be asking for, but i really wish the younger twin can lend me his strength for a little bit. i need it. not forever, but at least for now; not anybody else's, but his.

please?

i think all i need right now is the company of my classmates. where are you, 5/1...?