Topsy-turvy.

i used to be a morning person, waking up at 7 naturally on holidays and weekends and all. and then i would take short naps around noon. ever since he walked out on me, i hadn't been waking up even before my naptime.

yes, it really was after his leaving that i started these sleeping habits. and other strange new habits too, while most of my usual habits faded. i guess everything just really went topsy-turvy when he left. really.

my hair started dropping in huge amounts, too. i would stand in front of the mirror to tie my hair in the morning before school, and by the time i'm done, the floor would be covered with strands and strands of my hair. really. i should prolly take a picture someday and show to you if you want.

and not to forget the gastric discomfort/distension shit. i still have it. but i don't really react that much to it now. when was the last time i went to the doc? i don't remember. he was always the one who had to force me to go.

believe it or not, up to this day, the two moments that would always make me cry was the day he came back, and the day he left again.

i'm still having battles with my feelings for the blue tadpole. i'm scared, confused, unsure...