not giving a shit .

he pressed
the button.
when there were no cars,
he jay-walked.
behind him, the red man
turns green
and a dozen cars
wait for an invisible man
to walk across.

when you're walking towards it, you hurry like there's no tmrw, but when walking away from it, you stroll like you have all the time in the world.

and then there's the douchebags who are the exact opposite. they stroll like they have all the time in the world when walking towards it, but when walking away from it they hurry like there's no tmrw.

why is life like tht? and why are those douchebags like tht ? or more like why is tht douchebag like tht?

i think blind ppl have got some advantages as well. they dont have to see anything, and other ppl dont have to see anything abt them. no eyes to look out of, no seeing things tht hurt.

no eyes to be looked into. nobody to look into ur eyes and saying things like, are you sure you're ok?

and most of all no seeing ghosts of the past.

whats up with me you ask? currently on a solitary escapade. but then again i always am, you say? this one's different. this one's really a solitary escapade. one thing is i dont have my friends anymore. dont think they care shit abt me anymore.

been dreaming of tht boy.
been seeing tht boy.
been hearing tht boy's voice.
been remembering. reminiscing. sometimes i'd laugh, sometimes i'd cry, sometimes i'd get mad. i dont know. whats wrong. with me .

i wanna be blind, or disappear from here completely. i wanna run. i wanna not give a shit abt my stamina and just run, run, run . without mercy .

o, god... why do those ghosts smile? why do they laugh? i guess they're just performers. my personal performers. they smile and laugh while they act even tho in actual fact they're both stripped of their happiness .

o wait, i'm stripped of my happiness. idk abt tht boy. he probably enjoying his life right now. good for him then. if he's happy, then i should be happy too .

then why do i get the feeling tht he aint happy at all ?
maybe it's just my imagination .

i wanna run. without. mercy. because ive got. the choice. and. time of day .